wife in control

All posts tagged wife in control

I realized today means quite a bit to me. November 21, 2013 has such a depth for me and I realized it when I was looking back at those silly memory things on Facebook. It means more than the day cagedmonkey handed me the keys to his chastity cage and asked that I take control of the most intimate parts of himself. That day, in itself, was such a beautiful moment, him kneeling in front of me and telling me that nothing would make him happier than for me to accept the keys and take full control. I do wish I could remember those exact words but the moment sticks in my mind anyway. 

However, wearing a chastity device, a removable device, is one thing but agreeing to be permanently marked, showing your devotion and submission and your love is something completely deeper. Today, three years ago, I took cagedmonkey to get his Chastity tattoo and I absolutely love that he has given himself completely to me. I am his and he is mine, we belong to each other and with each other. I can feel it every time I touch his skin. Almost 17 years later and it still feels electric. It’s comforting feeling his arms around me. 

Thank you, my darling subby hubby, for being mine and not being afraid to make it permanent and forever. I will forever wear your key as you wear my lock!

We all know that, in our relationship, I’m in charge. I decide if cagedmonkey will have sexual pleasure, when and even how he will have that pleasure. I can make him go without orgasm for a few days, a week, a year or I can even make him cum over and over in one session. I used to refer to what we did as orgasm denial but that’s not what it is, I was naive in thinking that’s all it was. I know my husband likes to be denied and I’ve known that for over 16 years but in the past 3+ years I’ve realized it’s SO much more than that. There probably are guys out there that just enjoy the orgasm denial part but it isn’t just about denial. It’s about control, orgasm control. It’s about being in control of the very deep pleasure that someone can have, it’s about controlling the existence of that pleasure. You control if they feel that feeling, when they feel it and how they feel that explosive, intense, feeling from their chest to their toes. You are in control of the most intimate of pleasure that someone can have. That’s powerful! Isn’t it? Does the thought of that power excite you? It truly is an awesome power!

Speaking of orgasm control and, control and power in general. The other morning cagedmonkey and I had a pretty hot moment. I was kissing him goodbye in the morning, as I do everyday, and I happened to reach up and grab him near the throat. I felt that twinge in my crotch and was instantly turned on. I grabbed a little harder, squeezed and tightened my grip around his throat as I kissed him. I felt and heard him let out such a delicious moan. I felt my pussy quiver and get all warm between my legs. I love the way that feels!

Immediately I got this incredible urge. It was the urge to make cagedmonkey cum… But not just make him cum in the “normal” way.  As I felt him there, in my hands, holding his very existence in my grip, I wanted to control it all. I wanted to feel the control I had over his entire body in that moment, his breath, his orgasm, his pleasure, his pain… his everything. I could almost see it in that split second, I wanted to have him laying beneath me, under me, while I was riding his cock, choking him while I make him cum nice and deep in my warm wet pussy.
I have no idea why that came over me in those few seconds but it did and it turned me on so completely. The amazing powerful feeling! Anyway, I just wanted to share with you because often I get asked what it is about all this that turns me on or any woman and for a dominate chick it really does come down to the power and control… That is the exciting part!

I just thought this was something fun to share. Every day when cagedmonkey gets dressed and gets himself socks, he opens the dresser drawer and finds a lovely little reminder of who he belongs to. A few little things inside the sock drawer as a way to remember who controls his sexual pleasure, who controls his cock, who keeps it locked up in a cage to use when she pleases. I think it’s nice that, not only does he have his Jail Bird on every day to remind him, he also gets that unspoken visual treat, knowing he wears that collar for me and is plugged whenever I want him to be
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The other day I had an amazing amount of fun teasing hubby while I was out. He happened to have one of those rare days off during the week – and the kids finally were at school all day – but I had an appointment to get myself all prettied up and get my hair done. Hubby, rarely, if ever, gets time in the house alone so this whole day worked out pretty well. Usually when he has a day off and the kids aren’t home we scramble to get in whatever playtime we can together. This time, though, rather than breaking out the bondage toys and all that we just both enjoyed a day without kids. He got to hang out for a couple of hours at home relaxing and playing some video games (the kind you can’t play in front of the kids) and I went to my hair appointment.

Don’t think, for a second, that I left him home all denied and crazy to fend for himself. He had tasks to do for me. The first thing he did before he even got out of bed that morning was use my wand to bring himself to the edge while in his cage. Just before it was time for me to head out, I had him go plug his sexy little ass with the njoy plug and take off his cage. While I was gone he had other instructions to follow.

I sat there in the salon chair with my stylist behind me, every 20 mins looking at my phone waiting for the pictures to come through, hoping she didn’t see pictures of rock hard, horny cock in my text messages. While I was gone, cagedmonkey was to stroke himself and edge himself, holding out the edge for 1 full minute. Each time he did this (every 20 mins) he was to send me pic and video proof and no two pictures could look the same. Once in awhile I would give him further instructions, things like doing it while standing and facing the window or I would describe a fantastic scene where he was doing me from behind, bouncing against my nice soft round ass, telling him he’d love to pull out and feel and see his hot cum shooting all over it.

You know, stuff like that! 🙂 This continued for the entire almost 4 hours I was gone and just before the end of it he was begging me to stop stroking his cock. I find that adorable and it makes me giggle to think of all those times he’s begging to be touched while locked in the cage that I brought him to the other extreme of being to STOP touching!

Last weekend we spent the entire weekend away at our son’s football tournament. I certainly couldn’t let the teasing subside just because we were away in a hotel with 15 other football families, now could I?

I will admit, I’m entirely too weak when it comes to this whole long term lock up thing. I really did want to try again to make it a good long time, keeping him erectionless but it just didn’t happen! On Saturday night I decided to have hubby unlock and leave his cage in the suitcase for the rest of the weekend. The night ended with a massive amount of teasing in bed, under the covers. I stroked him and edged him over and over again. I let him get the slightest feel of my pussy from behind at the weird angle we managed to get into. It was about a quarter of his cock that was able to actually enter me. As he tried thrusting he really just ended up teasing the head of his cock with my wet pussy lips. 🙂

When we woke up on Sunday, I started on him right away. I sent him straight to the bathroom to edge himself for me 4 times. He then has to come out and show me how hard his cock is while trying to hide it from anyone else. I love that nervous “I hope no one notices” walk he does. I literally spent the next couple hours having him periodically going to the bathroom for me and doing whatever number of edges I came up with.

Just because it was time to go to the field, don’t think I stopped there. During our teams warm up and during half time I sent him off on the long walk in front of the bleachers to the other side of the field to the bathroom. There he had to edge for me and take that long nervous wall back, hoping no one could see the massive bulge in his pants from his hard cock. It was such a perfect time for some private public humiliation. I’m sure the second I told him “You’re going to go to the bathroom and edge 5 times for me,” while sitting there on the bleachers, caused him to chub up.

It really was a very fun day keeping him literally dangling on the edge all day. We had about a two and a half hour drive home and he thought he might get a break from many torment… But, come on, really? Haha especially when both kids fell asleep! I teased his cock and nipples while he was driving and he even got to the point of begging me to stop. I love the sound of his voice when it gets all shaky and he truly does want me to stop.

Cagedmonkey was completely a dripping mess by the time we got home… But I didn’t stop there haha just about every 15 mins from dinner to bedtime I had him going in and stroking himself to the edge for me multiple times. He was so incredibly sensitive after that all day tease-a-thon. I enjoyed very much pushing him that much further into his horniness.

I really think, after that, he’s been feeling very submissive. I think he really loved getting on his knees before work this morning to service my pussy. I am looking forward to the weekend. We put the bed restraints back on the bed and I think it’s going to be a bondage kinda weekend! 🙂

My mind is ultra-creative. I get TONS of ideas. And, being the incredibly horny guy that I am, I have lots of sexual fantasies.

Part of the chastity agreement that My Lady and I developed involves the requirement that I share all of my sexual fantasies with her. A problem arises, however, because a lot of my current fantasies involve ways that ML would dominate/tease/deny me. How am I supposed to explain these desires of mine without making ML feel obligated to fulfill them?

The dreaded “Topping From the Bottom” dilemma.

I used to be very concerned that my fantasies and ideas would influence ML’s dominating behaviors. And with good reason, apparently: ML has confessed to me that early in our chastity adventures, she would sometimes alter her plans for me based on what she thought I wanted or what she thought I could handle. This is the opposite of what makes chastity so exciting for me. Although I would like her to tease me in certain ways, the best thing would be for her to do what she wishes, without concern for my desires.

But still… those ideas…   🙂

We’ve since figured it a way for me to share my fantasies without me influencing what ML does. Now I tell her about my fantasies with absolutely no expectations of them being fulfilled, and she sees these fantasies as options she can choose from or ignore as she chooses. It’s just like a menu at a restaurant: the menu gives you a list of the dishes available, but you don’t have to eat them all. You can choose the one that suits your appetite the most.

Earlier today, ML and I were discussing possible plans for the next year and a half or so of our chastity play, even tossing around ideas as to which devices I would wear at which times, etc. I could tell ML was enjoying the ideas – her pussy was SOPPING wet afterwards – but I also know that none of it is set in stone. My Lady’s appetite can change daily and she is totally in charge of my chastity. My ideas could make it more exciting for the both of us, but she is always in complete control.

Neither of us would have it any other way.

My pussy needs a break and so do my stomach muscles! The past few days I’ve been giving cagedmonkey a pretty good go. Not only did he use the new sleeve I bought to fuck my horny pussy the other night but he’s also been servicing me by mouth quite a bit too. He’s sure does a fantastic job at making me cum over and over. So good, I’ve been pretty much doing crunches every time I have an orgasm. They are so strong and my whole body is involved.

The past couple of days I’ve been queening cagedmonkey quite a bit. I woke him up that way the other day. He was sleeping after work and I climbed up on him and sat right on his face. I pushed down so I buried his nose in my ass and completely covered his mouth with my dripping wet pussy. He woke up unable to breathe anything but the warm juices of my pussy. You really should have seen him wriggle!

I’ve started to play a bit with breath control with cagedmonkey recently. It’s an interesting kink and I really do get into it when I see him and his body react. Like last night I sat on his face a few times, each time a little longer. He really was begging and whimpering for me to stop but I kinda got into the power I had over him and didn’t want to. I continued to smother him over and over while rubbing my wet juices all over his face. That is about when he slipped off into subspace while I finished fucking his face and making him gasp for air. I’m starting to realize that I get extremely turned on by hearing cagedmonkey beg, whimper and grovel for me to stop whatever it is I’m doing.

He’s so obsessed with my large breasts, how could he not crave to be smothered by them? He really gets off on the fact that I can control whether he breathes or not by shoving my big tittie in his mouth and pulling his face into it to cover his entire face so he can take a breath only when I want him to. 🙂 Oh if only there was a way to share how sexy he looks when he gasps the air I let him have while he looks up at me with those shocked, big, beautiful, blue eyes.

This is obviously something to be very careful with. Blocking someone’s airway is never something to take lightly. It is not something I sprung on him, we’ve talked about it at length. I’ve tried a few things and I am well aware of how long he can hold his breath. Obviously holding your own breath is way different than when someone else is in control and the panic sets in. Though, that’s part of the thrill! I am hyperaware of his body’s reactions and although, I love when he starts to flail a bit, that is about the time I start thinking about giving him some oxygen. It’s constantly a work in progress and I’m sure I’ll push him further and further as we go along.

All I can repeatedly say is that I absolutely love exploring these wonderful things with the man I love completely and who I trust so deeply. I could never imagine exploring these things with anyone else but my cagedmonkey.

Epiphany: a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple

It sounds weird to say this but it feels almost as if a weight has been lifted from me. After our conversation last night I got to thinking about what I really wanted and how I wanted to play with hubby. After all, he gave me the beautiful gift of regaining my natural dominance, so I’m in charge.

So what do I want from the chastity? Well, easy, I want the device on at all times unless I unlock him for play time, tease time or for my using. It’s my toy locked up in my toy box. 🙂 *giggle*

So, what about the Tease & Denial? Well in all my pondering last night, I realized what I want is not called “Orgasm Denial.” It’s called “Orgasm Control” because I want to be in control of if he cums, when he cums, how he cums and how much he cums! If I feel like spending an entire day using him over and over to drain every bit of cum from him then so be it. I unlock him, use him and lock him back up. If I want to deny him for 40 days for the fun of it then so be it! If I want some mix of the two, I can have it. If I change my mind in the middle of it all, I can! 🙂

I’ve finally got my brain on board knowing that all of these things are my decision. No more feeling like I promised to lock him up for a length of time and not wanting to disappoint him or upset him or “do it wrong” or not the way he wants it. I’m in control, I hold the power to use him for my pleasure in whatever way I choose. I hold the power to allow him an erection or force him to have one all day, if I want! I hold the power to deny him orgasms for as long as I feel like having him behaving in an awesome attentive way towards me. If I feel like asserting my dominance and taking him as mine every night for a week, I hold that power.

I hold all the power when it comes to his sexual feelings, sensations and releases. The one part I want to explore more in our relationship is the Wife Led part. I’m curious about what it would feel like to be completely in control of everything he does. I don’t want this all the time because I’m not into having a slave but I think once in awhile having a very submissive session of play would be fun. I have no idea as I’ve never done it, never been overpowering dominant and/or demanding but maybe I want to see what it’s like! We were talking the other day and he mentioned scrubbing the kitchen floor naked while I supervised (probably half joking, I’m sure lol). At that moment something happened to me I was not expecting… I suddenly got extremely aroused at the thought of him serving me that way. Though at the same time my head was like wtf that’s so wrong! Cagedmonkey and I have said that it can never hurt to try something… we might like it. He’s not all into serving that way (not into being a slave nor do I want one) but he’s not against the session happening once in awhile if it is something we both enjoy. So we’re off to try new things once again and explore what feels good!

Ok so that was my epiphany overnight… see what happens when you stay up until after 4am!

Wish me luck! 🙂