wife in charge

All posts tagged wife in charge

The other day I wrote about how I was taking a break from setting a “Maybe Day” for cagedmonkey. I got quite a few comments on the post, all of them kind of referring to the same thing, so I thought I should clarify a few things. I don’t want there to be any mistake about who is in control at any point in our relationship. However, a relationship is about two people and you need to do the things that work for each person so that emotionally and physically there is fulfillment.

Let’s back up some and get a little more personal. Cagedmonkey has allowed me to explain a few things about his childhood so you all understand him a little more. When hubby was a child his mom was very much a “don’t rock the boat” type person and he was more on the high strung side. As a way to avoid confrontation (or hubby having a temper tantrum lol) his mother would say things like “maybe later” or “we’ll see” never really giving him a straight answer. She didn’t want to be the one to tell him “No,” because he might get upset. It was sort of drilled into him that those “maybe’s” and “we’ll see’s” always meant no.ย Cagedmonkey is also the type of guy that needs to know that SOMETHING is definitely going to happen or not happen and SOME kind of time frame that it is going to happen or not happen in. Even if that time frame is “Yes, you WILL cum 3 more times in 2015” that gives him something to depend on. Whether or not he cums 9 times or only the 3 he has something to hold on to. He was pushed off by his mother and it felt like he was lied to so much as a child as a way to appease him that now as an adult he really does need to have something he can count on to ease his anxiety.

So, as I said, I got a few comments on my last post, like this one from one of my favorite ladies…

Mistress Marie said:

I love that you are changing this as this is how it really should be, you in full control with CM being clueless to know what your thoughts are on when he will cum. I think this is great because any day can be maybe day this way and he will never know.

I wanted to make sure that I addressed these comments because they make it seem like giving Cagedmonkey a “maybe day” is somehow taking away my control. This is entirely not true. I am in full control of his orgasms and sexual pleasure and I can give him and orgasm or not whenever and however I please. He is always clueless as to when I may make him cum. Heck, sometimes I’m clueless because it might creep up on me that I want him to! ๐Ÿ™‚ Just because he has a maybe day does not mean I am stuck denying him until a certain date. I could give him a maybe date of July 4th and make him cum 5 mins later. The maybe day is a comforting thing for his anxiety and can be a challenge for me and him at times too. ย Our last maybe date was set out at 6 months from his last orgasm. I wanted to try to push him (and myself) to 6 months of denial. I obviously didnt make it but that was MY choice because, after all, I am in control and I made the decision to allow him to cum – which was more for my pleasure than his. I didnt do it for him, I did it because I missed feeling him explode inside me. I missed feeling his body as he was cumming. I missed seeing his face and watching him enjoy that orgasm.

Since I told Cagedmonkey about needing the break he’s been very anxious, asking a lot of questions, making sure I’m not just pushing him off. He really was having trouble with the way things were up in the air. He really needs something solid to hold on to to function properly. I love that I know this about my hubby and while I did the up in the air thing on purpose to test out if he could handle it, I found a way to help him emotionally while leaving me to not deal with a maybe date. In other words, I found a loop hole of sorts to ease his anxiety. lol

I have decided instead of a maybe day where I’m trying to deny him until a certain date or time frame that I would simply give him an idea of what to expect for the time being. I explained to him that he could expect to be locked everyday, especially on his work days. He could expect to be denied but likely not more than a week or two and if I was enjoying myself and felt it would go longer I would tell him. He could also expect to be teased and tormented daily. I certainly do enjoy the build up of horny and I love that week to ten day point where it is at a high. That’s why at the moment his denial probably wouldn’t be much past that. I also told him he could fully expect that I could unlock him, use him and make him cum at any time during any of this. This seemed to go over very well and he seems to be much more calm about things and had stopped obsessing over when and how long, etc. Of course, this really is how it is EVERY day but it seemed to REALLY help to have me actually say the words and explain it out right to him. All of those things have been understood since we started all this but I think hearing them and seeing them written helped to give him that thing he needs to depend on and hold on to. He knows that I wont just tell him “we’ll see” and then not having something happen one way or the other.ย Cagedmonkey is just not that guy when we’re having sex and he asks “please may I cum, ma’am?” who can be told “maybe, baby.” He really needs a “yes, but not right now” or a “No, not tonight” answer.

I hope this helps clarify why we need to have a maybe day. Even if it kind of has no meaning (unless we are using it as a challenge for both of us) because, I control everything about his sexual pleasure anyway, it helps him mentally to know I’m not going to flake out on him like his mom would often do.



The other day, after I allowed cagedmonkey to cum, we had a chat about what I had planned going forward.

It’s amazing to think that we are coming up on 2 years that I’ve been fully controlling hubby’s orgasms and sexual pleasure. Our actual chastity device wearing didn’t begin until October 2013 but it was June of that year that he asked me to take full control. We’ve been into tease and orgasm denial our entire relationship – that’s over 15 years! – but never to the extent that we are now. It was much shorter before, hours, days and the longest we had ever give over the years was a month. Now we hardly blink if I’ve kept him denied of orgasm for 3 months.

This last period of denial (which was actually 106 days, I think) was the longest I’ve had him denied. Getting to 3 months was actually pretty easy once it got there though it was almost excruciating for me to go the next two weeks or so that I made it. I was aching to feel him cum inside me. To feel his body shudder as he had that first orgasm after being denied so long. I truly missed how it felt to have that with him. It’s one thing to have sex or make love and not have him explode into me and it’s completely another to share that amazing feeling as we are cumming together in the high of sexual pleasure.

So, I told cagedmonkey that I wanted to take a break. For a second he looked at me, very sad, thinking I wanted to stop chastity and orgasm denial altogether. That wasn’t it at all! I comforted my confused boy and explained that I wanted a break from “Maybe day” and from pushing him and myself to go longer and longer in his denial. This decision had nothing at all to do with his chastity. As a matter of fact, I love that and he will be without his device very rarely for probably the rest of our lives. ๐Ÿ™‚

I don’t know if cagedmonkey is still confused about what I mean but I have had to explain a couple times. What I want is to control his orgasms, which I already do. That doesn’t mean I’m going to have him out of his cage, fucking him every day, making him cum. It means I’m going to decide moment to moment if I want that or if I want to deny him. I could literally not feel it one minute and yet another be like, “oh fuck baby cum in me!” I guess it might depend on how physically turned on I am, how emotionally turned on I am our how deliciously evil I’m feeling.

That’s really where I’m at right now. I don’t want to have to deny him, I don’t want to have to make him cum. I want to just control it moment to moment and if I feel like denying him for a week or 3, so be it. I just don’t want the set periods of time right now. I need a break from constantly pushing further and further.

I think this will ultimately be fun but also I think it’s already a bit frustrating for him. Like I said I’m not sure if he thought taking a break from denial meant that he’d cum every time we had sex or that HE’D get to choose when. That’s not it at all, I’m not handing him back control of his sexual pleasure at all. I’m just liberating myself from set periods of time that I have to try to do or fear disappointing him or myself because I didn’t make it to the time frame I was hoping.

I’m going to enjoy this and, when will we set a time again? I have no idea but I’m sure it won’t be too long because I do love that build up of horny while getting that denial going, trust me! ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m sure everyone knows what it’s like to have a bad day at work. Where it seems like everything is going wrong and whatever decision you make is the wrong decision. Well that’s exactly what happened Friday night while hubby was at work. It was a particularly stressful night with dude’s bleeding out in the operating room and being short staffed and people getting pissy and taking out their frustrations on each other. At about 4am Friday night (Saturday morning) I was woken up by about 16 text messages from hubby needing to talk. I spent about an hour and a half texting back and forth letting him get out his feelings and frustrations in a healthy, safe way. I validated him and it seemed to help get him through the last couple of hours.

I knew exactly how he was feeling and that he was going through one of those “I’m not good enough, I can’t do anything right, why bother,” type of things which I’m all too familiar with. This started to make me very worried about our full submission weekend that was supposed to be beginning when he arrived home at 7:30am. I started wondering if we should give up on the whole idea because I had this fear of triggering him into a downward spiral. I was fearful that if I corrected him or was unhappy with his behavior, and wanted to spank or punish him, that he would take it very badly and spin off into a deeper self confidence low.

Saturday morning, he got home and I pretty much sent him right off to bed. Once I woke him in the afternoon we had a few hours with the kids before we could really get into our full submission. However, we did do as much as we could in front of the kids. He would ask to do things quietly or give me a certain look and I knew what he was “saying.” It was coded simple stuff in front of the kids like:

Him: Do you need me to do anything before I go to the bathroom.
Me: Actually, I’d like you to take that load of laundry down and switch them, then you may.
Him: yes ma’am

Little stuff like that the kids hardly notice especially when we don’t make a big deal out of it.

Later in the evening when the kids were off to bed, the submission was much more intense. I absolutely loved hearing him whimper when I would kiss him but not allow him to touch me or kiss me back for a bit. At one point I remember grabbing him by the steel collar and pulling him to his knees in front of me where I was sitting on the couch. I demanded he eat my pussy and make me cum. There were times, too, where I would use his hands on myself while reminding him he wasn’t allowed to touch or help me in any way. He begged to kiss me while I moved his hand and covered his fingers with my juices. I whispered, “no” and kissed him, shoving my tongue deep in his mouth. As I started to cum on his fingers, I told him “kiss me, now!”

It ended up being quite hot and very frustrating for him as I controlled him the entire night and reminded him over and over, “I don’t remember you asking to do that.” It was a very nice night and I loved going to bed with him wearing only his steel collar and Jail Bird. We did wake up before the kids and I decided to take off the collar so we didn’t have to explain it to them. We thought about just telling them it was a necklace but our kids would have bugged out all day, obsessing.

Sunday morning we got up, I laid out the clothes hubby was to wear to church and we started our day. I though about what a great night we had a thought we had gotten passed the whole emotional night from Friday but that ended up not being the case. Sunday was a very rough day and the self confidence spiral began in the morning and lasted all day long. It effected me to the point of visible anger. I quit talking to cagedmonkey for a time because I was afraid I didn’t have anything nice to say.

Later last night he did apologize for his behavior but there really was no full submission at all on Sunday because he was a bit sensitive to things. It was much easier to leave it be. We did have a very nice night together last night once the kids went to bed. I unlocked his cage and let him have control of his dick for a little while. I think that helped him a bit. Once it got late I took him to the bedroom and had my way with him, using his body, cumming as much as I wanted while he continues to be denied.

Oh my goodness, my girl knows me so well! Thank you “Queen Victoria,” as I like to call her, for the very special gift.


My sweet girl sent me this awesome little bell as a Christmas gift. She really does know that something so cute and little would tickle me. I just love it and I could totally see a dominant woman using something like this to train a guy with different sounds. One sound to get her something, one sound to come eat her pussy and yet another to fuck her. It really could be a lot of fun.

Anyway, thank you my sweet dear, I love this precious and thoughtful little gift very much!

This morning cagedmonkey and I had a conversation. He was telling me just how horny he was, which I love! I decided it was a good time to keep him abreast (haha I said breast!) of how the next couple months of his denial are going to go. He’s already at around 7 weeks I think (really, I stopped counting such things!). I figured screenshots of it were so much easier than trying to type it all out. So this is how things went – yes, with my stupid phone typos and all!
Haha he’s says a major problem with his horny… He’s so damn cute. ๐Ÿ™‚
Yup, that’s a good subby boy, thank me for denying your orgasm. ๐Ÿ™‚ of course I didn’t decide that this morning. I worked it all out with myself yesterday and decided last night. Neither of us was feeling well though and he called into work & went to bed at 6pm and I went at 9pm. Oh well, as a few of you, who talk to me off the blog, know I was having a bad day physically yesterday and needed the rest.
Yeah, I guess I’m in one of those let me see how bad he can get moods. Plus, I absolutely get off on him begging. If he gets pissy, I swear, I’ll be bending his ass over and spanking it as red as a baboons.
Haha yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh at my typo. It’s funny! Just for your info puss=plus. This is completely true though. I feel like pushing him, in the mean time that pushes me and I seriously do not want to get burnt out trying to do too much at once. It’s not an easy job being a wife, mother and keyholder. Being a keyholder certainly does not mean Lock it and Leave it. Maybe there are some out there that do that but it is not fair to anyone trying to enjoy this.
Yeah, baby, you don’t have a choice but I do like to know you’re feelings. Maybe he’ll come here and post how he feels. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s going to be a fantastic two months ahead leading into our ceremony.

Speaking of our upcoming ceremony, we did just have someone ask recently if our ceremony is vanilla or were we adding in a “collaring.” The simple answer to that is yes, it will be a purely vanilla ceremony with some of our family and the members of our church. I suppose this could be a whole blog post on its own so I’ll leave this post to what it actually is.

I don’t want to do the whole “sorry we haven’t posted in a few days” thing so I’m not going to. I’m not going to make excuses, rather I’m going to tell you what’s been going on!

Over the past couple days a lot has changed for us and our journey together in life. Really this has nothing to do with male chastity but I’ll get to that. A lot of things happened, fell into place, whatever you want to call it, for us and we had some decisions to make regarding our future. So in short: WE’RE MOVING!!!

And with that announcement (like you all care about that haha) comes so so so much work for the wife portion of a Wife Led Marriage. Now that we are moving – in a month, by the way – I have to fill out paperwork for the new house, take checks here there and everywhere, get copies of this and that and, since we’re moving school districts, I am running to get registration forms, filling them out, collecting all the stuff they want to prove we are moving, taking it back to the new school, informing the old school, returning books to the library… Ok really, you get the gist. I’m a busy freakin woman at the moment.

In a way, it’s a good thing that hubby is in lockdown 24/7 because I don’t have much time to tease and torture him all day like I normally do. That doesn’t mean I’m not mindfucking him and still teasing and having him please me whenever I can, it just means lots less.

So yesterday my one visit to him upstairs before errands was a very intense tease. He was quite literally crying into my chest because of the combined physical and mental torment I was subjecting him to. His Jail Bird was strangling his balls while I rubbed his prostate. I found that during these big long lock ups it can be very effective to externally manipulate the prostate.

I spoke so softly with my lips against his lips, telling him bad I wanted his big fat cock in my mouth, to lick it and suck it and feel it deep in my throat. I’m sure it didn’t help that I also licked him through the cage and gave him a simulated blow job through the cage. Hehe really he would have been writing this all himself but it’s hard for him to write at work lately and even harder to write on his phone.

This morning before he went to sleep after work I texted him to remind him of his situation. You know, locked in a cage, no orgasm for 6+ weeks and no erection for 2+ weeks. ๐Ÿ™‚ I guess I started to get to him because I got a couple of texts back from him.

I’m really fucking horny and desperate for a hardon

So I asked him how bad it would be if I decided to tie him up, unlock his cage and leave him to watch as his cock slowly hardened but still received no stimulation.

He said:

Really fucking bad, but I’d still like not having the steel constantly hugging my cock

Hehe I think I’m really getting to him when he’s not even begging, whimpering and crying for an orgasm anymore… instead it’s over just flat out being out of the cage for a simple erection.

So boys… Don’t take those erections for granted, you could be locked in a cage unable to even get one too! ๐Ÿ™‚

For the last few days I’ve been keeping cagedmonkey as hard as can be for as much of the day as possible. It started the other day with my Change in Plans and I decided to continue through today since we have a 12 hour car trip.

Cagedmonkey gets no reprieve from me even while driving the car. As a matter of fact I’m totally getting off right now at the power I have. His hands are stuck on the steering wheel, so he’s almost in bondage while I tease and torment him. He has to keep very quite and keep a straight face so he doesn’t alarm the kids in the back seat of my teasing.


I just love watching him as he works so hard to concentrate on driving while I’m making swirls on his sweet spot to the music on the radio. Squeezing out the beat around his shaft as the drums pound, pound, pound through the speakers. Small, tight, maddening strokes that he can do nothing about. ๐Ÿ™‚

Now he’s sitting next to me with a wet spot on the front of his shorts hehe. Good thing we have a few hours to go till we stop for a break. Either the wet spot will dry or be worse, depending on my mood! Haha

Since the other day when cagedmonkey had his Temporary Release, I’ve been thinking. I really enjoyed, I mean REALLY enjoyed having the access to his cock. I seem to have the old “my eyes are bigger than my stomach” thing going on sometimes. I had this grand plan of keeping hubby locked through till August. Obviously after the first three weeks that went to the crapper haha. Then comes my decision, do I keep him locked up now with zero release for the month of July our do I save that for another time?

Let me tell you what’s been roaming the kinky streets in my mind. Over the last couple days I started to realize how much I can’t do when he’s in 24/7. The focus is completely on me, and on serving me. There is only so much service I want or can tolerate. I have a very fond love for teasing and I start to feel bored and useless if I’m not able to tease the way I want. I want to be able to edge him, I want to be able to drag my nails up and down his shaft, to simply rub or lick that sweet spot on the underside of his cock. One of the things I miss most is probably sucking his cock and getting him to the edge my mouth. I miss feeling his big thick cock in my pussy anytime I want, edging him over and over with my tight pussy. Gripping his shaft as I cum hard on his cock.

Yup, I AM getting turned on writing this!!!

Anyway, I feel like 24/7 robs me of some of my control. Maybe if I could stand a one-sided relationship, where I get literally everything and he gets nothing (isn’t that a slave relationship?), then maybe I could leave him locked 24/7 longer. I really just enjoy tormenting him. I enjoy forcing him to endure my teasing. I love forcing him to feel things that are otherwise enjoyable to the point that he is wanting, needing and begging for them to stop because they have become very UNenjoyable!

So I think it’s about time to go up and sit on hubby’s face until I cover it in my gooey, yummy cum. Then I think I’ll restrain him, plug him, unlock him and edge him. I want to edge him with my whole body, my hands, my mouth, my boobies, my pussy. Then again, I’m in charge, maybe I’ll be satisfied with just cumming on his face. ๐Ÿ™‚

I absolutely love when I get so hungry, growly horny and dominant with cagedmonkey. His reactions to my aggression are fucking outstanding!

We’ve been sick so not too much play feels like it’s been happening around here. Yes, I know you’ve read about a few things and maybe they are pretty good things but it’s certainly not enough to satisfy this building, mega horny I have going on these days.

**Side note: for those keeping track I should be starting my cycle soon. I get unbelievably horny – dripping wet pussy – during the week before.

This morning I went up to “tuck in” hubby and restrained him, took him out of that Revenge (man I’ve been dying to do that!), and got me some cock! Mmmm Damn was it good feeling his big hard cock sliding into my wet pussy as I rode him. I had myself a couple orgasms, sat down on his face to give him something to sleep to and left him, tied up there, to sleep while I headed out for errands. He still had not seen or touched his cock now in over a week.

While I was out, I couldn’t get him or his uncaged cock out of my mind. My horny was building all morning into the afternoon. When my daughter and I got home, we ate lunch and I went up to “snuggle with daddy” while she played some on the computer. Boy, did I ever snuggle with cagedmonkey haha!

I rolled him over on his back and started out by straddling him at his knees. I leaned down and cagedmonkey mentioned how he knows I like to watch him get hard and that I’d get to see it. I looked up at him put his chubby at my lips and told him I could FEEL it get hard and I sucked all of him into my mouth. I love to hear him moan, I swear I have an addiction to it! I gave him a pretty good blow job, slipping, sucking and licking his big thick cock, taking him deep in my throat. I couldn’t take it too long, with his moaning and cussing, before I had to slide up his body and sit down on his cock. As I slid myself up and down on his cock over and over my aggression was growing stronger and stronger. I came so hard just looking at him tied up there, vulnerable and helpless.

Something about me that becomes clearer and clearer, through all of this, is my complete love of seeing, feeling and hearing his reactions. It pushes my arousal to a whole other level. I get this growling almost angry type sex thing going on. I fuck him harder and I get so much wetter. I was soaking his entire crotch and mine just cumming over and over, squeezing his thick cock in my pussy grips. I had gotten so incredibly turned on and his cock was so slippery, covered in my cum, that I reached back under myself and positioned the head of his cock at my unlubricated asshole. I was just so fucking hot for him, so aggressive toward him. The look in his eye when I stared right into them and I literally shoved his cock deep and hard into my tight asshole. It was uncomfortable but he knew that cock was mine to fuck however I wanted. That, at that moment, it had nothing to do with him. His reaction was amazing, he gasped and moaned and his chest lifted up off the bed. So freaking awesome!!

I fucked myself deep and hard in the ass, I spread my ass cheeks to get him as deep as I could. I felt his balls between my cheeks as I lifted up and down, fucking myself. I just had to cum with his cock in my ass. I leaned back, felt how super dripping wet my pussy was and I slathered up my hand and wiped it all over his face. Oh God, his moans!!! It took seconds to get to climax after that… seconds! I came so hard, my asshole clamping down on his cock so fucking tight.

You would think I’d be done from there, right? ha! I got off, cleaned him and me up a bit and then sat on his face. I forced him to lick my pussy while I edged him, stroked him over and over, letting go at the last minute. I finally ended our time together with a lovely ruined orgasm. He managed to get one shot off that hit me in my big titties but I cut off the rest and he dribbled cum on to his belly.

Within minutes, he was locked up again. This time I put away the Revenge and locked him back in my favorite, the Jail Bird. He so damn sexy in it! ๐Ÿ™‚

Now if only I was feeling better we may have had a much more exciting time! Damn sore throat, cold, whatever this crap is needs to take a hike!

It’s funny to say that cagedmonkey planned a getaway for Valentine’s Day when we live a Wife Led Marriage. So how does it work when a husband wants to do something like that for his Lady in charge? Here’s how it goes for our WLM, perhaps others are different.

This year hubby and I are on a mission to create new memories, good memories and wonderful feelings around those certain times of the year that have been difficult in the past. I’ll admit I was a bit down about Valentine’s Day and didn’t want to plan anything but hubby asked that I give it a chance. I’m willing to do that because this is all about renewing and repairing and the past needs to stay just that. So I’m excited about creating new feelings with my wonderful, amazing guy. The difference here is that I didn’t want to be the one planning something to create those good feelings so I handed that over to hubby to figure out a nice time for us.

So the other day cagedmonkey came to me and asked how I felt about the kids having an overnight babysitter. This is something we’ve never done, not even when visiting grandma’s or anything. The kids have only recently started having a babysitter at all. So we talked a bit and I told him that I thought I was ready for it and that for us, our marriage we need to be able to do these things. With an overnight sitter comes working out our daughters medical needs and scheduling things and teaching the sitter what needs to be done in an emergency. No biggie though, I can handle that!

Anyway, hubby told me of the plans he thought of to make our Valentine’s Day a memorable one. He planned a getaway for the night to the same casino where we spent our anniversary day last month. Now when I say “planned” that means he told me what he wanted – an overnight babysitter, a night in the hotel, dinner, drinks, gambling and a night filled with loud orgasms. It then becomes my job as the Lady in charge to make it happen if it’s possible.

So I did just that, I first talked to the babysitter to see if her mom would allow her to do an overnight job and she’s ok with that if they go to their house. I’m perfectly fine with that myself, since our babysitter is our Pastor’s daughter and the kids will be in a loving, safe environment and will go to church with them the next morning! Woot, bonus! ๐Ÿ™‚ After that was set I called up and made reservations for a room and dinner package at the casino hotel and we’re all set now to enjoy an overnight getaway for Valentine’s Day that cagedmonkey planned.

So in our Wife Led Marriage, hubby can certainly plan something like this to surprise me but I’m still in control of the financial and logistic sides of it! I love how we just work this way… to me, this is my idea of a surprise, a wonderful surprise and he knows that. I’m not one for having no control over a situation and really don’t do well with traditional surprises like that. I think he prefers to plan things this way and to not have to deal with talking to people, negotiating prices, dealing with credit cards and figuring out which money needs to go where and how much to cover everything. In our marriage it’s much easier to say what it is he wants to do and then I make it happen!

We hope that you and your love have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, chaste or otherwise.