she’s in control

All posts tagged she’s in control

We all know that, in our relationship, I’m in charge. I decide if cagedmonkey will have sexual pleasure, when and even how he will have that pleasure. I can make him go without orgasm for a few days, a week, a year or I can even make him cum over and over in one session. I used to refer to what we did as orgasm denial but that’s not what it is, I was naive in thinking that’s all it was. I know my husband likes to be denied and I’ve known that for over 16 years but in the past 3+ years I’ve realized it’s SO much more than that. There probably are guys out there that just enjoy the orgasm denial part but it isn’t just about denial. It’s about control, orgasm control. It’s about being in control of the very deep pleasure that someone can have, it’s about controlling the existence of that pleasure. You control if they feel that feeling, when they feel it and how they feel that explosive, intense, feeling from their chest to their toes. You are in control of the most intimate of pleasure that someone can have. That’s powerful! Isn’t it? Does the thought of that power excite you? It truly is an awesome power!

Speaking of orgasm control and, control and power in general. The other morning cagedmonkey and I had a pretty hot moment. I was kissing him goodbye in the morning, as I do everyday, and I happened to reach up and grab him near the throat. I felt that twinge in my crotch and was instantly turned on. I grabbed a little harder, squeezed and tightened my grip around his throat as I kissed him. I felt and heard him let out such a delicious moan. I felt my pussy quiver and get all warm between my legs. I love the way that feels!

Immediately I got this incredible urge. It was the urge to make cagedmonkey cum… But not just make him cum in the “normal” way.  As I felt him there, in my hands, holding his very existence in my grip, I wanted to control it all. I wanted to feel the control I had over his entire body in that moment, his breath, his orgasm, his pleasure, his pain… his everything. I could almost see it in that split second, I wanted to have him laying beneath me, under me, while I was riding his cock, choking him while I make him cum nice and deep in my warm wet pussy.
I have no idea why that came over me in those few seconds but it did and it turned me on so completely. The amazing powerful feeling! Anyway, I just wanted to share with you because often I get asked what it is about all this that turns me on or any woman and for a dominate chick it really does come down to the power and control… That is the exciting part!

I just thought this was something fun to share. Every day when cagedmonkey gets dressed and gets himself socks, he opens the dresser drawer and finds a lovely little reminder of who he belongs to. A few little things inside the sock drawer as a way to remember who controls his sexual pleasure, who controls his cock, who keeps it locked up in a cage to use when she pleases. I think it’s nice that, not only does he have his Jail Bird on every day to remind him, he also gets that unspoken visual treat, knowing he wears that collar for me and is plugged whenever I want him to be
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My mind is ultra-creative. I get TONS of ideas. And, being the incredibly horny guy that I am, I have lots of sexual fantasies.

Part of the chastity agreement that My Lady and I developed involves the requirement that I share all of my sexual fantasies with her. A problem arises, however, because a lot of my current fantasies involve ways that ML would dominate/tease/deny me. How am I supposed to explain these desires of mine without making ML feel obligated to fulfill them?

The dreaded “Topping From the Bottom” dilemma.

I used to be very concerned that my fantasies and ideas would influence ML’s dominating behaviors. And with good reason, apparently: ML has confessed to me that early in our chastity adventures, she would sometimes alter her plans for me based on what she thought I wanted or what she thought I could handle. This is the opposite of what makes chastity so exciting for me. Although I would like her to tease me in certain ways, the best thing would be for her to do what she wishes, without concern for my desires.

But still… those ideas…   🙂

We’ve since figured it a way for me to share my fantasies without me influencing what ML does. Now I tell her about my fantasies with absolutely no expectations of them being fulfilled, and she sees these fantasies as options she can choose from or ignore as she chooses. It’s just like a menu at a restaurant: the menu gives you a list of the dishes available, but you don’t have to eat them all. You can choose the one that suits your appetite the most.

Earlier today, ML and I were discussing possible plans for the next year and a half or so of our chastity play, even tossing around ideas as to which devices I would wear at which times, etc. I could tell ML was enjoying the ideas – her pussy was SOPPING wet afterwards – but I also know that none of it is set in stone. My Lady’s appetite can change daily and she is totally in charge of my chastity. My ideas could make it more exciting for the both of us, but she is always in complete control.

Neither of us would have it any other way.