I write this blog based on our experiences, feelings and general knowledge. I’m not a professional nor do I claim to be an expert. I do know that there are some feelings and emotions in this lifestyle that are pretty common. You don’t have to be a Domme or a Keyholder, all you have to be is a partner to someone who has fantasies.
In our contract, cagedmonkey and I are both required to share any and all fantasies with each other. No matter how crazy, absurd or off the wall they may seem. We are also required to listen to each others fantasies without judgement and with open-mindedness (is that a word?). There are two ways we can respond to fantasies, enthusiastically: “Ooo, damn baby that sounds great I want to try that!” Or accepting: “well, that’s interesting. I don’t think that’s something I’d be into, at least not right now but it is interesting.” This is when we can ask questions, see what the reasoning is behind the fantasy, spanking? humiliation? pain? etc and maybe see if there is even some aspect of it we might like to explore.
One thing someone can start to feel, when hearing your partners fantasies, is responsible. We instantly feel like we HAVE to fulfill said fantasies. We start to feel intimidated by the fantasies thinking we will never measure up. Well I’m here to set the record straight… just because someone has a fantasy does not mean it needs to be fulfilled or that they even want it fulfilled. Not everything can be done but the thought of some things is enough to get a guy to struggle against those cage bars! 🙂
There are several ways to handle a fantasy. Some are like, “Woohoo! I want to do that right now!” Others are like, “well, let’s look in to how to do that right but it sounds awesome so let’s explore.” Some might be like, “I’m not sure I’m into all of that but I did like __________ and I would love to try that part.” And still others are like, “Holy shit you cray cray in the hay hay!” Those fantasies may be better off left as a fantasy inside your nutty little head. Haha however that’s not to say those “head fantasies” cannot be used later to mindfuck your partner.
My point in all of this (mostly to the newer Keyholder or partner in charge) is to remind everyone that we are not at all responsible for fulfilling fantasies. We certainly can, and will I’m sure, but it is in no way a requirement of any relationship. They can be just as fun fulfilled as they are talked about.
So now… what are your fantasies? I’m putting out a request, I’d love to hear one of your favorite fantasies that has been fulfilled, that you wish was fulfilled or that is just a really hot thought in your head.
Please leave a comment or send us an email! 🙂