orgasm denial

All posts tagged orgasm denial

No, seriously, the doctor said I’m not allowed to orgasm until we figure out what’s going on.

And yes, I really do have a medical diagnosis code G44.82 for my sex headaches. The doctor is looking into them by doing a CT scan of my head, to start. This will at least give us something to look at and see if there is anything that obvious going on. A CT scan of the head is able to show if there is swelling, fluid in the cranial area, or any masses or abnormalities of the soft tissues. I would be getting a ct scan with contrast off the bat but I am extremely allergic to the iodine contrast dye  used so they are starting off with a plain scan. I have my appointment for that this coming Wednesday, December 7th. This really is something she is taking seriously because I do not have a history of migraines, none of my medications have changed in over 10 years, I don’t have trouble with my sinuses and this is a very new thing.  She showed a little concern as well well I mentioned a few other tid bits and said we would wait to see what the ct scan showed. 

The doctor has prescribed me some prescription strength ibuprofen and no orgasms until we get the CT scan done, radiologist reads it and we find out if there is anything going on. I’m not exactly excited about the fact that I don’t get to have orgasms but it’s not terrible timing as I just started monthly cycle anyway so at least part of the time without orgasms is tolerable. I guess I’ll just have to find fun ways to torture and tease cagedmonkey while I am unable to have my own orgasms. And don’t think I’m going to be generously handing out orgasms to any of the boys I have in chastity right now… If I can’t orgasm, no one gets to orgasm!

Anyway, just keeping you all in the loop about what’s going on and how things are progressing along. I welcome any and all prayers during this. It’s actually been quite an awful week for me emotionally. Even though I can rationally tell myself it’s gotta be nothing, I can’t help but have my crazy anxiety brain flying off the deep end wondering “what if…” 

I used to think that sex before bed was the most amazing thing. Don’t get me wrong, it still is awesome, you make the sweet sweet love, have fantastic orgasms and fall asleep in each other’s arms, right? Well, not exactly! See, in our relationship sex is different, still awesome as hell, but different. Let me describe for you the way it works now, with a husband locked in chastity.

We head to bed and start running hands all over each other, kissing, licking, groping. Getting each other turned on and even more horny. Then, as my hand slides down my husbands chest and stomach, I feel that harness start near his pubic bone and then… that hard steel ring and cage encasing a cock that is trying to burst out. As much as I would love to feel that cock inside me right that second, there is a delay as we try to get his cock out of the cage so I have can it and feel him. The struggle is real people haha! Once he is out of the cage and we do manage to have sex, I am usually the only one who cums… Then we roll over and go to sleep, me satisfied and him laying there frustrated and more horny.  which in itself is a pretty fantastic thing but it’s not like it is in a traditional relationship.

I used to think that having sex and going to bed with my husband was so awesome but what I’ve realized over the past little bit is that not having that connection with him after sex makes me feel lonely and wanting, almost.  Trust me, I’m totally not complaining about having any kind of sex lol we have sex, period, and that is amazing. What I’m getting at is that I have found that morning sex is incredible for me! It really invigorates me and gets me going and starts my day in an amazing way. We wake up, we have super awesome sex and then I get to spend about 45 mins with him before he leaves for work. It just leaves me with such amazing feelings in the morning, and sometimes I’ve left even more horny too!  it’s like getting my morning coffee injection! LoL

Anyway, I just find it interesting, as I get older, how things change. How the way I feel about things changes. I love having any kind of sexual intimacy with my husband and being able to have that continued connection with him. It certainly helps after intense scenes so I don’t have Domme drop and it helps in general to have that connection. 

Do any of you (or your wives/girlfriends) feel that way? Have you noticed things like this too?

How long was it into the new year until you had your first orgasm? I had to wait 299 days.

As teased earlier this week on Twitter, ML brought to an end our long run of orgasm denial and gave me my first orgasm of 2016. I was WELL passed the point of wanting to be done with it, but ML finally reached the endpoint for her. And, of course, the thing that EVERYONE wants to know is, “How did it feel?” Well, it felt pretty much just as I expected it would…

Pro tip: if a guy who describes their first orgasm after months and months of denial as being this massively explosive sexual experience, gushing gallons and gallons of cum all over the place… there’s a decent chance he’s full of it.
Don’t get me wrong: it was nearly ten months since my last orgasm, so obviously it couldn’t be bad. But usually the first orgasm after a long denial is sort of mellow – it can be underwhelming if you are expecting something bigger.

The second, third, and fourth ones are MUCH better. 😉

My Lady has some difficulty after allowing me to cum – she was wrestling with feelings of failure. We were trying to go the entire year without an orgasm for me, and we didn’t make it. There were a few people who felt the same way when ML was talking about it on Twitter – “Keep pushing, you can make it!” was a popular response. “Don’t give up, you’ve gone so far!” was another. But I don’t think it’s a failure at all.

Yes, we set out to do a year of denial… but anything we’ve ever done in our chastity/orgasm denial play has always been done with the concept of “if we aren’t having fun, then we won’t do it” attached to it. And for the past couple of weeks, the denial was becoming less fun and more work. Although ML was having fun teasing me, she was tired of waiting for some good, hard fucking from me (instead having to settle for slow, careful sex).

So, My Lady decided to let me cum. She didn’t break down, she didn’t lose her nerve… she decided. And, deep down, that’s what we both want: for her to decide.

I bet you expected to see this post from Cagedmonkey, huh? Well, too bad, it’s from me. We are just about at the tenth month of this year long orgasm denial which, in itself, is pretty amazing. I’m pretty proud of myself for getting this far through this. So toward the end of last year, when we talked about this whole year long denial we always said if I wanted to stop for any reason we would. If it ever wasn’t fun anymore, or we weren’t enjoying it, we would stop. There is no way I would take something like that lightly or just decide on a whim that I was done.

For about the last month I’ve had off and on feelings about this whole year of denial thing. I’ve thought a lot about if I want to continue. It’s taken me about a month to finally get to a point where I knew I needed to actually make a decision. I noticed, recently, that when I thought about the denial, I’d almost start feeling down about it. Even more recently, thinking about sex was making me feel horny and, yes, excited but also I felt down… I’d start to feel blah and almost not want to have sex. Not that I didn’t want to but that feeling was there. I had to ask myself, why? Well, that why is because sex, for me, was not feeling satisfying. I wasn’t feeling fulfilled after. Yes, I get to cum and get pleased like crazy all the time but for some reason not seeing and feeling CM satisfied (especially inside me) is not giving me what I need. There is some part of our intimacy missing and it’s that moment when we are both in an intensely sexy moment, feeling that amazing feeling that I’m missing. In a way I feel sort of let down and maybe kind of lacking because I’m not getting his satisfaction. It’s so weird, I know, but that’s how it is.

I guess it’s difficult to explain how hard it is to keep someone denied for so long when you’re sexual with them on a daily basis. Sex, for me right now, just feels incomplete. I feel like I’m left hanging and really I am not one who enjoys denial or frustration. As much as I love denying him and frustrating him, I do still love seeing his satisfaction. It makes me feel good and like I’m doing something right. Like I said, it’s weird and hard to explain but it’s just what it is.

Someone asked earlier today, when I was telling them about all this, what is so important about the 12 months? What made us decide to do it? Honestly, there isn’t anything all that important about it. It was just something to try after trying so many other things lol. We really just wanted to see if we could do it, I guess. Other than I know I could do it, the past 10 months has helped me see that I actually do need to see and feel CM satisfied, at least once in a while! 

So, give it a couple days and then feel free to ask CM how it feels to cum after being teased and denied his orgasm for about ten months! Haha 🙂 I guess he’ll know, at some point, I’m going to tell him to cum after he reads this! 

There is a new ridiculous hoax floating around on Facebook, claiming something along the lines that you can have a microchip planted into your partners penis and get a cellphone notification that would tell you if he were cheating on you. At first I giggled and was like what a dumb thing to start passing around the internet and then I actually felt sad that there are probably people out there that feel they might have a need for that. If they do feel that way they probably should not be in the current relationship they are in, just sayin’!

microscopic-tiny-computer-microchip

Then I got to thinking – what if there actually was something similar to this that a keyholder could use? That certainly gives new meaning to chastity and /or orgasm control. Do you think you would like the idea of a microchip in the penis to detect chastity or denial or do you prefer the chastity cage? For me, I definitely like the cage. I love how it looks and I love that it is completely a physical reminder that I own that. I get to see it, he gets to see it and feel it. It is so much more than just holding off the orgasm, a chastity cage is gives you the feeling of control and not just the mental part of it. It’s not just about knowing I control orgasms. I love that chastity is so much more than that. I control orgasms, erections, and all sexual pleasure. The cage is such a hot reminder of that.

I even wonder what my husband would think about something like this – I do think that he agrees that the cage is something spectacular that has added such a deepness to our relationship. Even if there was no orgasm control associated with it, I still think that chastity and that sense of control that I have really is what it’s all about. I really think he would agree with that – I’m sure he will comment since he has no clue that I’m even writing this post and will likely have some thoughts when he reads it. lol

I’m interested in your thoughts, too. Do you use a cage for orgasm control or for control in general? Are you just on the honor system? Would you prefer something like a microchip that would alert your keyholder of any time you cheated?

Finally! After the crazy week with the trip to the ER, Monkey in a Cage is back with another episode of the podcast! Sorry it’s taken a little extra long. If you follow us on Soundcloud.com you already got the notification that we posted a new podcast.

In this latest episode I interview cagedmonkey about how he actually manages to hold off having an orgasm while being denied almost 9 months and still being allowed PIV (that’s penis in vagina) sex. We hope you enjoy and please feel free to let us know what you want to hear about in the future.

Click here to listen to our podcast on Soundcloud.com.

If you would like to subscribe to our RSS feed this is the link: http://feeds.soundcloud.com/users/soundcloud:users:254084738/sounds.rss

I know you have all been patiently waiting for our next Podcast installment – that sounds weird! lol Anyway, here it is!!! Episode 2 is now available for your listening pleasure! I really think you will enjoy it as much as we loved answering your questions! Thanks so much to everyone for the great feedback from our last podcast and for the wonderful questions to answer!

We would LOVE to hear from you again but for now, I’ll shut up and let you listen! You can click to download or listen now!

Literal answer to rhetorical question alert!

chas·ti·ty
ˈCHastədē/
noun
the state or practice of refraining sexual intercourse.

As I was putting my cage on after shaving yesterday, I started thinking about exactly what this is that ML and I are doing. It’s easy to call it “chastity” but is it really that?

As you can see from the definition above (thank you, Google), chastity usually involves less (or perhaps even no) sex. Since ML began locking my cock in a cage, we’ve been have more – and BETTER – sex than ever. That’s like the opposite of chastity!

My Lady is in complete control of when and how much sex we have. And keeping my cock locked up all to herself gets her pretty damn horny, so we end up having sex pretty often. The cage doesn’t even stop her from having my cock when she wants it – she will have sex with even even while I’m caged, and she loves every minute of torturing me like that.

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You cannot imagine how frustrating it is to feel her warm wet pussy on my cock, yet I’m still unable to get hard. My cock certainly tries, but always fails. ML has has many orgasms on my caged cock as I throb helplessly against the steel. It often feels like I could cum, but it’s only wishful thinking. I’m left as frustrated as ever, often with a painfully full cage as ML drifts off into blissful post-orgasmic sleep.

So, we will continue to call it “chastity,” even though it’s something different at the heart if it. It’s not about refraining from sex; if anything, it drives us to want it more. For us, it’s about control. ML controls me sexually, not just my orgasms but even my erections. She will have sex with me when she wants, whether she allows me to have a erection or not.

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With all of the craziness of the moving and the new job and all that stuff, I feel terrible that I haven’t had the opportunity to write all that much lately. I guess getting 3.5 hours sucked out of your day just by simply commuting to work doesn’t leave all that much time for horny thoughts.

But then again… when you’ve gone without an orgasm for 176 days, those thoughts find their own time. 🙂

Now that we are settled in our new home (or at least on the way to getting there) and my work schedule is a little more stable, there will be a hell of a lot more time for me to write… and plenty of time for me to dwell in my own crushing horniness.

Yesterday, ML and I completed a major goal for ourselves in making the apartment our own – we got the new bed fully put together, placed the box spring and mattress, and finally got it “sleep ready.” We’ve been waiting so long! We finally got it done. We also had to test out if “sleep ready” also meant “fuck ready.”

Any excuse, right? 🙂

Good news to report: it passed with flying colors. No crazy kinky sex, no bondage or restraints or anything (yet)… just the regular damn fucking good amazing sex that ML and I can’t seem to stop having.  🙂 It felt so damn good, I had to text a video to one of our good friends, just to share the joy.

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Enjoy, my good friends.

I think that getting…

Oh God… fuck, my wife has an amazing ass….

Ok sorry, I got distracted… as I was saying….

There was a moment during last night’s sex where I really felt that I wanted to cum. So far, yeah I’ve wanted to cum, because almost a full half year since I’ve done so, duh… but I’ve also been enjoying the denial so much, and the novelty of a year without orgasms has always made it a “yeah, we’re gonna do it” thing. But last night… it was different.

Last night I really wanted it. I wanted to say “fuck it, getting this far is enough, I really need to cum.” I seriously contemplated just continuing fucking ML until I came inside her, and I’d come up with some sort of excuse later on why it wasn’t my fault (“I swear, honey, I tried to stop, but…. El Niño!”).

I think the whole “settling in” and actually having a place to live now is not just allowing me to get back to normal, but all of the feelings that have been put off for the past handful of weeks are rushing back in one big wave. ML and I had a little bit of “standing against the kitchen counter” sex this morning, and I whimpered when I had to stop. It hasn’t been this bad in a long time… ever? Possibly.

My Lady is worried that my horniness has plateaued… I think there’s still plenty of Mt. Horniest to climb. 🙂

Today, for some odd reason, out of no where I was having a bit of “drop.” I was feeling off and emotional and REALLY missing cagedmonkey while he was at work. I could feel my thoughts race, it felt like a roller coaster. I even caught myself wondering if I should just make him cum and forget this whole denial thing. I missed him so much today that my mind was racing through ways I could feel him… Making him cum is a huge way to feel him and connect with him. It’s been 173 days since he’s had an orgasm… He’s not quite half way there yet.

I don’t really want him to cum and I’m feeling much better this evening but this whole thing isn’t that easy on a wife who happens to be a keyholder to her one and only love. Who she happens to REALLY, REALLY like sex with! Haha I really am living how incredibly horny cagedmonkey is, how badly he wants to cum when he’s being teased and edged. I will say that I don’t feel there is much difference between how horny he gets at 3 or 4 months to how horny he is now… Just sayin’

It might be time to do some extended lock up. Perhaps some No look, No touch? What do you think?