orgasm denial

All posts tagged orgasm denial

Yesterday afternoon, after a nice quick bout of doggy style sex (which I was not allowed to cum during), ML locked me up in the Revenge before sending me off to work.

I’m not sure if it’s just the fact that I don’t wear it very often, but there is something very sexy about this device – my cock locked away, almost entirely encased in steel. I don’t even get the cursory brushes with clothing or ML’s teasing touches through the bars, just the cold hardness of my chastity cage.

As I said, I haven’t spent a whole lot of time wearing the Revenge for one reason or another – at one point, the integrated lock mechanism was broken and we were waiting for a replacement. But, if things go according to plan, that should be changing. The “plan” involves acclimating myself to the Revenge, testing to see how long I can safely wear the device, and possibly trying to extend that time period.

Wearing the Revenge is very much like starting over from scratch: I really need to take it slow and not go for “too much, too soon.” The closed-style of the Revenge differs from the open-style Jailbird in a number of ways, with comfort and hygiene being the two most notable contrasts. I haven’t had much problem with comfort in the past, but hygiene can be challenging when using a closed-style device for long term wear.

With that said… My Lady really wants to try locking my cock in a full steel device for a good amount of time, just to see how crazy and desperate I get for any type of stimulation (I’ll admit, I’m very interested in it, too). So we are going to treat it like we did from the beginning: small steps leading to big steps.

I’m going to wear the Revenge for a week only at first, doing my best to give it a good flush with the showerhead every night before bed in order to keep it clean and avoid any skin reactions. After a week, ML will take me out and “inspect the goods.” If all is good, we will try to do two weeks with the same cleaning routine. If everything is okay after two weeks, we will move on to… hopefully not much longer than two weeks.   🙂

Basically, we want to see where my tolerance limit is, if there is any at all. When we find it, we will know what we have to work with. And if we find there really is no tolerance limit… then ML will know she can keep me locked in the for as long as she wants. I’m not 100% sure which one I’m rooting for…

My Lady gave me a wonderful birthday present this weekend – I fucked her nice and hard from behind and was allowed to cum deep inside her pussy. It was a really great orgasm and I made sure to get as much pleasure out of it as I could by continuing to thrust into her as my cock throbbed and pulsed inside her. If anything, this was the opposite of a ruined orgasm; I made sure it was as full and total as it could be.  🙂

It’s a good thing I enjoyed it, because it’s going to be a little bit of time before I even get close to feeling that again. Unbeknownst to me, My Lady had plans to keep my cock locked up for a nice extended period after my birthday – she says I will be locked up tight 24/7 until July 4th, at least.

Going until July 4th means I will be locked up for a month straight: no erections, no feeling her pussy on my cock, definitely no orgasms… just a month of steel-encased frustrated flesh. A month is longer than we’ve ever done 24/7 chastity before –  we usually make it to about 3 weeks-ish before ML misses my hard cock too much to wait any longer, but there’s no reason to think that she will have any mercy on me this time around. She has already denied me the chance to groom once more before being locked away, so I had to do my best shaving around the cage in order to get the job done.

I think I did a pretty good job. 🙂

The thing that gets me a little worried, though, is the “at least” part at the end. Could ML be thinking about keeping me locked up in chastity for longer than a month? She actually does enjoy feeling me inside her… can she go for that long without? If yes, how long can she wait? I honestly have no idea. The only thing I’m certain of is that my cock will begin to ache long before I’m unlocked. It’s going to be so long in between erections for me, I wouldn’t be surprised if it genuinely hurts when the skin stretches out for the first time in who knows how long!

P.S. My situation could be much worse than what it is now, to be honest: ML and I were talking a few weeks ago about trying out the Revenge again, but we haven’t unpacked any of our toys yet. How bad would it be to be fully enclosed in steel for a month, or even longer than that???

On a recent post, Collaredmichael commented the following:

Do you find the perverse desire not to [cum] -in order to continue your streak of days without? It is something I seem to be experiencing – I want to cum but I don’t want to cum.

Short answer: I used to get this feeling, but not so much anymore.

I think, at one time, I felt the desire to keep pushing my denial farther and farther. Thinking about it now, it wasn’t so much of a desire to keep pushing it for a deeper intensity; it was more of an attempt to keep the sexual connection between ML and me. Since things have gotten much more healthier between ML and me in a sexual sense, I feel no desire to force it along anymore.

That’s not to say the feeling went away completely after things got better between us. When we attempted the full year of orgasm denial, of course I wanted to keep going without cumming. But that was the point of the exercise: just how long can we go? I think ML and I found out the answer to that.

At this point, I want my orgasms to be fully controlled by ML. That means not trying to “help my denial along” by resisting an orgasm and pushing my denial further; I’m in a state of mind now where I really do want to cum, but whether I do or not depends on what she wants. It wasn’t easy for me to get to this place mentally, but the work (and play) that My Lady and I have done has helped us get here.

I was asked this really great question recently so I thought I would take a minute to write here about it. I’m sure some of our readers who are in control would appreciate it. Then again, some of you in the submissive role may like to know this stuff too. 

“…doesn’t it make you feel bad sometimes when you deny your hubby for so so long? Do you ever feel guilty?”

There actually was a time, when we first started this whole chastity and longer term denial thing, that I would describe my feelings as guilt. Now that we are almost 4 years into this there are zero feelings of guilt. There doesn’t need to be any. 4 years ago my hubby asked me to take control of his sexual pleasure. He wanted me to be the one to decide if, when and how he would orgasm. I gladly accepted that role and took control over that pleasure for him. So why would I feel guilty about giving him something he wanted in the first place? That’s something us dominant types can forget sometimes… but when someone completely offers themselves to us we need to not feel guilty about accepting the responsibility.

Cagedmonkey naturally craves and needs to be controlled and I naturally crave and need to be in control. It makes us both feel fulfilled and content in our relationship and in our life. It fits us so well to accept these roles. 

So, in short, no I don’t feel bad or guilty about denying him orgasm or even keeping him locked in that steel cage and even controlling him to the point of when he gets a full erection. I love knowing that he is THAT controlled, down to something even HE can’t control! I love knowing he has a pretty constant reminder of me and the fact that I control him and he sexual organs and pleasure. It’s mine to enjoy, he gave me that. He offered me that gift and it’s one of the best things and shows such deep love and respect and, more importantly, trust. It makes me feel great, not guilty! 

When I’m being denied orgasm by My Lady, it isn’t hard for her to find ways to frustrate me. Having my cock locked in my steel Jailbird is an obvious place to start, and bringing me as close to orgasm as possible without giving me one is also extremely effective. I’ve been finding, though, that being edged is sort of a mini-tension release in itself – not as good as an orgasm, of course, but my body does “enjoy” it.

After being denied so often and edged as much as I have been, maybe I’ve found some sort of comfort in it. But ML always finds ways to keep my sexual tension level high. Nowadays, stopping short of edging seems to be even more frustrating than edges themselves.

I had the day off from work yesterday, and ML took advantage of the kid-less household to drive me a little crazy. She spent most of the morning keeping my dick hard, not allowing it to get soft for more than a few minutes at a time. Even when she had to run out for an errand, she left me with instructions to keep myself hard while she was gone. She didn’t edge me once the entire morning, and it wasn’t long before I was going crazy. My cock was an aching, dripping mess in my underwear, and My Lady enjoyed watching me suffer through every minute of it.

After a rough week at work, I was very much looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend. Will I have the relaxation I was hoping for? Or will ML see exactly how effective this new form of frustration can be?

So, My Lady and I are buying a house.

Trust me, we are surprised as to how quickly it happened, too!

ML and I have been “window shopping” for houses for a little while, fantasizing about setting up our own little playroom in an extra bedroom. But we weren’t getting all that deep into it just yet. We were eyeing a house here and there, but there weren’t many that were all that interesting… and the ones that were kept getting sold before we could even go and see them!

And so it went until yesterday, when we lined up a few houses to go see with our real estate agent. The first two were nothing special, but the last one we saw had that “feeling” to it – I remember standing in the kitchen and thinking to myself, “Yeah, I could totally live here.” On the way back home, ML and I decided to put an offer in on the house.

ML called our agent when we got in the door; she had bad news – the sellers had gotten an offer that morning and had already sent out a counter offer! I mean, seriously… does everyone just automatically want what we want?

So, missed out again, right?

Oh no… not this time.

ML and I decided that we wanted this house. So we said, “screw that ‘counter offer’ noise, we’re buying this house.” We called the real estate agent back and told her to put in an offer – hey, if it ain’t sold yet, it ain’t sold!

We knew it was a race against time – if the other buyer accepted the counter offer, it didn’t matter if we offered the moon. We weren’t going to get into a bidding war, however – if they countered our offer, we were ready to walk away. So we put our offer in, and waited…

… we waited about five minutes before we got a call back.

Offer accepted!

That wasn’t the only deal that went down yesterday: during our celebratory sex, I really wanted to cum. So ML said she’d allow me to, but my next orgasm would have to be in our new house. Of course, I took the deal.

According to our signed offer, closing is in 60 days…

With a new year comes new year’s resolutions… although I really don’t believe in the concept. Why do you have to wait until the next year to make a change in your life? Why not start now? What good is waiting for an arbitrary date to pass to start improving yourself?

What was I talking about?

Ok, so anyways…

Independent of New Years, I have decided to eat a little better and try to get myself in shape. After all, I am getting older; if there is a time to get in shape, it’s now. ML is helping me with a meal plan and an exercise routine, as well. There is one part of me, however, that has gotten out of shape and diet or gym workout will help me with.

Simply put, my cum muscles have gotten weak.

Contrary to how it may seem, ML likes to see me cum – you’d think that a woman who keeps her husband in chastity and controls his orgasms wouldn’t be all that concerned with it, but she really does like it. She likes to pump it out of me, knowing that she got me so horny and so turned on for it to happen. I, of course, like it as well – because it happens so infrequently, the sight of my cock squirting cum all over ML’s boobs/ass/wherever she allows me to is a beautiful thing.

Unfortunately, since we have begun our chastity and orgasm denial lifestyle, the force of my orgasms have gradually declined. What was once a forceful spurt has slowly weakened over time to just a tiny dribble. My orgasms themselves are still intense; sometimes as intense as ever, depending on the teasing and/or lead-up to it. It’s just the physical reaction that has subsided.

At first, I was worried that it was a volume problem, but I don’t think that’s the case. Drinking lots and lots of water does help, but I’ve found that there isn’t an actual decrease in volume; after my orgasm, there is plenty of cum that drips out of my cock (or that ML squeezes out with her talented fingers). The cum is there, I’m just not strong enough to shoot it out.

Although I could go ahead and use the “well, my cock is so damn huge that it’s too far for the cum to travel” excuse, I’d rather be realistic and see the problem for what it is: my cum muscles have weakened with orgasm denial. To be honest, this isn’t all that surprising; you may remember recently that I went over 3/4 of a year without using those muscles. Imagine if you sat in a wheelchair for 9 months, then you tried to go out and run the 100 meter dash… that’s kind of the situation I’m up against.

So, the solution is strength reconditoning. There are no cum muscle rehab programs that I am aware of, and as much as I would like ML to put me on an “orgasm exercise regimen,” I would seriously miss the teasing and orgasm denial. What I need is a plan that works for us. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
1) PC muscle exercises when locked (or unlocked). For the unsciencey readers out there, the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles are the muscles that make you ejaculate (sort of… please don’t flood the comments section with Wikipedia proving I’m wrong, I’m going for simplicity here). You squeeze these muscles when you act as if you are trying to stop yourself from peeing (again, simplicity). These are the muscles that have gotten weak for me. I have been doing these exercises, but not regularly enough to make an impact.

2) More frequent edging and/or ruined orgasms when unlocked. I can’t believe I’m actually asking for this, but it’s true: although PC muscles are a good exercise, the most effective one would probably be frequent regular orgasms. That’s most likely not happening any time soon, so I’m guessing the next best thing would be more edges or ruined orgasms. The muscles aren’t utilized as they would be in a full-on cum, but it’s better than nothing.

I really would like to improve this situation. It would be pretty interesting for ML to tease me during long denial periods with videos of my own cock shooting cum all over her gorgeous titties. I have a lot of work to do to get there, but it’s an excellent goal to visualize. 🙂

My brain is smiling at you!

I thought I would write a quick post about my ct scan results. We’ve had a lot of people ask and rather than having to keep answering individually, I’ll do it here! So, the answer is, NOTHING! No, really, there are no masses or anything significant, physically, wrong with my brain. Which is good news in itself but annoying that now the doctor is sending me to a neurologist to do some more investigation. I, unfortunately, can’t get in to see the neurologist until late January but if they felt something was really wrong then I assume they’d be rushing an appointment. I’m just glad it wasn’t something big and it seems like it’s more than likely one of the many things wrong with me that no one can explain haha. 

Now, as for the whole doctor ordered denial thing… Well, screw that! haha I do not handle denial well, however, I am being extra careful not to have those mega intense orgasms with the wand. I’m also taking a more aware approach and really paying attention if I’m holding my breath during orgasm and making sure that I breathe! Thanks to Mrs. Fever for her comment and letting me know I’m not alone in many of the things I’m experiencing in my life. It was actually nice to hear someone else deals with pain on a regular basis, yet still does what they can to function in their kink! 

Also, a big thank you so much to everyone who has written and checked in on me! I appreciate you all so much! 

No, seriously, the doctor said I’m not allowed to orgasm until we figure out what’s going on.

And yes, I really do have a medical diagnosis code G44.82 for my sex headaches. The doctor is looking into them by doing a CT scan of my head, to start. This will at least give us something to look at and see if there is anything that obvious going on. A CT scan of the head is able to show if there is swelling, fluid in the cranial area, or any masses or abnormalities of the soft tissues. I would be getting a ct scan with contrast off the bat but I am extremely allergic to the iodine contrast dye  used so they are starting off with a plain scan. I have my appointment for that this coming Wednesday, December 7th. This really is something she is taking seriously because I do not have a history of migraines, none of my medications have changed in over 10 years, I don’t have trouble with my sinuses and this is a very new thing.  She showed a little concern as well well I mentioned a few other tid bits and said we would wait to see what the ct scan showed. 

The doctor has prescribed me some prescription strength ibuprofen and no orgasms until we get the CT scan done, radiologist reads it and we find out if there is anything going on. I’m not exactly excited about the fact that I don’t get to have orgasms but it’s not terrible timing as I just started monthly cycle anyway so at least part of the time without orgasms is tolerable. I guess I’ll just have to find fun ways to torture and tease cagedmonkey while I am unable to have my own orgasms. And don’t think I’m going to be generously handing out orgasms to any of the boys I have in chastity right now… If I can’t orgasm, no one gets to orgasm!

Anyway, just keeping you all in the loop about what’s going on and how things are progressing along. I welcome any and all prayers during this. It’s actually been quite an awful week for me emotionally. Even though I can rationally tell myself it’s gotta be nothing, I can’t help but have my crazy anxiety brain flying off the deep end wondering “what if…” 

I used to think that sex before bed was the most amazing thing. Don’t get me wrong, it still is awesome, you make the sweet sweet love, have fantastic orgasms and fall asleep in each other’s arms, right? Well, not exactly! See, in our relationship sex is different, still awesome as hell, but different. Let me describe for you the way it works now, with a husband locked in chastity.

We head to bed and start running hands all over each other, kissing, licking, groping. Getting each other turned on and even more horny. Then, as my hand slides down my husbands chest and stomach, I feel that harness start near his pubic bone and then… that hard steel ring and cage encasing a cock that is trying to burst out. As much as I would love to feel that cock inside me right that second, there is a delay as we try to get his cock out of the cage so I have can it and feel him. The struggle is real people haha! Once he is out of the cage and we do manage to have sex, I am usually the only one who cums… Then we roll over and go to sleep, me satisfied and him laying there frustrated and more horny.  which in itself is a pretty fantastic thing but it’s not like it is in a traditional relationship.

I used to think that having sex and going to bed with my husband was so awesome but what I’ve realized over the past little bit is that not having that connection with him after sex makes me feel lonely and wanting, almost.  Trust me, I’m totally not complaining about having any kind of sex lol we have sex, period, and that is amazing. What I’m getting at is that I have found that morning sex is incredible for me! It really invigorates me and gets me going and starts my day in an amazing way. We wake up, we have super awesome sex and then I get to spend about 45 mins with him before he leaves for work. It just leaves me with such amazing feelings in the morning, and sometimes I’ve left even more horny too!  it’s like getting my morning coffee injection! LoL

Anyway, I just find it interesting, as I get older, how things change. How the way I feel about things changes. I love having any kind of sexual intimacy with my husband and being able to have that continued connection with him. It certainly helps after intense scenes so I don’t have Domme drop and it helps in general to have that connection. 

Do any of you (or your wives/girlfriends) feel that way? Have you noticed things like this too?