I was asked this really great question recently so I thought I would take a minute to write here about it. I’m sure some of our readers who are in control would appreciate it. Then again, some of you in the submissive role may like to know this stuff too.
“…doesn’t it make you feel bad sometimes when you deny your hubby for so so long? Do you ever feel guilty?”
There actually was a time, when we first started this whole chastity and longer term denial thing, that I would describe my feelings as guilt. Now that we are almost 4 years into this there are zero feelings of guilt. There doesn’t need to be any. 4 years ago my hubby asked me to take control of his sexual pleasure. He wanted me to be the one to decide if, when and how he would orgasm. I gladly accepted that role and took control over that pleasure for him. So why would I feel guilty about giving him something he wanted in the first place? That’s something us dominant types can forget sometimes… but when someone completely offers themselves to us we need to not feel guilty about accepting the responsibility.
Cagedmonkey naturally craves and needs to be controlled and I naturally crave and need to be in control. It makes us both feel fulfilled and content in our relationship and in our life. It fits us so well to accept these roles.
So, in short, no I don’t feel bad or guilty about denying him orgasm or even keeping him locked in that steel cage and even controlling him to the point of when he gets a full erection. I love knowing that he is THAT controlled, down to something even HE can’t control! I love knowing he has a pretty constant reminder of me and the fact that I control him and he sexual organs and pleasure. It’s mine to enjoy, he gave me that. He offered me that gift and it’s one of the best things and shows such deep love and respect and, more importantly, trust. It makes me feel great, not guilty!
I’ve spent the last few days teasing, stroking, using and edging cagedmonkey’s achy cock. As you know I have told him that he won’t be cumming until we are in our new house!! Hehe
I’ve had a lot of fun having him unlocked, at night, the past few days. The night before last I think I stroked and edged him close to a hour. He went from wriggling around and moaning to pretty much passing out on me. It was actually such a great feeling that I was doing that to him. I was taking him to a place that he couldn’t escape from. Such an amazing amount of power to get someone to that point. At least that is how it feels to me. I really do love the power and control that I have over cagedmonkey sexually. It drives me, gives me passion and propose.
I’m SO lucky to have him and that he enjoys the tease and denial and the level of intense control I have over his sexual bits!
We all know that, in our relationship, I’m in charge. I decide if cagedmonkey will have sexual pleasure, when and even how he will have that pleasure. I can make him go without orgasm for a few days, a week, a year or I can even make him cum over and over in one session. I used to refer to what we did as orgasm denial but that’s not what it is, I was naive in thinking that’s all it was. I know my husband likes to be denied and I’ve known that for over 16 years but in the past 3+ years I’ve realized it’s SO much more than that. There probably are guys out there that just enjoy the orgasm denial part but it isn’t just about denial. It’s about control, orgasm control. It’s about being in control of the very deep pleasure that someone can have, it’s about controlling the existence of that pleasure. You control if they feel that feeling, when they feel it and how they feel that explosive, intense, feeling from their chest to their toes. You are in control of the most intimate of pleasure that someone can have. That’s powerful! Isn’t it? Does the thought of that power excite you? It truly is an awesome power!
Speaking of orgasm control and, control and power in general. The other morning cagedmonkey and I had a pretty hot moment. I was kissing him goodbye in the morning, as I do everyday, and I happened to reach up and grab him near the throat. I felt that twinge in my crotch and was instantly turned on. I grabbed a little harder, squeezed and tightened my grip around his throat as I kissed him. I felt and heard him let out such a delicious moan. I felt my pussy quiver and get all warm between my legs. I love the way that feels!
Immediately I got this incredible urge. It was the urge to make cagedmonkey cum… But not just make him cum in the “normal” way. As I felt him there, in my hands, holding his very existence in my grip, I wanted to control it all. I wanted to feel the control I had over his entire body in that moment, his breath, his orgasm, his pleasure, his pain… his everything. I could almost see it in that split second, I wanted to have him laying beneath me, under me, while I was riding his cock, choking him while I make him cum nice and deep in my warm wet pussy.
I have no idea why that came over me in those few seconds but it did and it turned me on so completely. The amazing powerful feeling! Anyway, I just wanted to share with you because often I get asked what it is about all this that turns me on or any woman and for a dominate chick it really does come down to the power and control… That is the exciting part!
There is a new ridiculous hoax floating around on Facebook, claiming something along the lines that you can have a microchip planted into your partners penis and get a cellphone notification that would tell you if he were cheating on you. At first I giggled and was like what a dumb thing to start passing around the internet and then I actually felt sad that there are probably people out there that feel they might have a need for that. If they do feel that way they probably should not be in the current relationship they are in, just sayin’!
Then I got to thinking – what if there actually was something similar to this that a keyholder could use? That certainly gives new meaning to chastity and /or orgasm control. Do you think you would like the idea of a microchip in the penis to detect chastity or denial or do you prefer the chastity cage? For me, I definitely like the cage. I love how it looks and I love that it is completely a physical reminder that I own that. I get to see it, he gets to see it and feel it. It is so much more than just holding off the orgasm, a chastity cage is gives you the feeling of control and not just the mental part of it. It’s not just about knowing I control orgasms. I love that chastity is so much more than that. I control orgasms, erections, and all sexual pleasure. The cage is such a hot reminder of that.
I even wonder what my husband would think about something like this – I do think that he agrees that the cage is something spectacular that has added such a deepness to our relationship. Even if there was no orgasm control associated with it, I still think that chastity and that sense of control that I have really is what it’s all about. I really think he would agree with that – I’m sure he will comment since he has no clue that I’m even writing this post and will likely have some thoughts when he reads it. lol
I’m interested in your thoughts, too. Do you use a cage for orgasm control or for control in general? Are you just on the honor system? Would you prefer something like a microchip that would alert your keyholder of any time you cheated?
Finally! After the crazy week with the trip to the ER, Monkey in a Cage is back with another episode of the podcast! Sorry it’s taken a little extra long. If you follow us on Soundcloud.com you already got the notification that we posted a new podcast.
In this latest episode I interview cagedmonkey about how he actually manages to hold off having an orgasm while being denied almost 9 months and still being allowed PIV (that’s penis in vagina) sex. We hope you enjoy and please feel free to let us know what you want to hear about in the future.
You would think with that kind of title that I would have set myself an alarm and edged cagedmonkey all through the night. However, instead I made HIM edge himself, all night long… in my pussy! I unlocked him last night to tease him and get myself as much of him as I could since he’s leaving today on an overnight business trip. I gave him a pretty good teasing and edging but sitting between his legs on the bed and stroking him and making him watch ass he came so close to exploding over 8 months of cum on my huge boobs. I gave him an awfully nice tittie fuck (sorry guys, no pics!) And then I made him “sex me” as we’ve so loving started calling it. I just love how it feels when his big thick cock stretches my tight pussy. I love how it feels when he slides out and gives me those looooooong thrusts, pressing deep into my warm softness. It doesn’t even bother me one bit that he can only manage a few thrusts before he needs to stop and get himself under control before he cums without permission. It makes me feel good, actually, that I’ve gotten him to that point. I have teased, edged, tortured and denied him so much that he’s super sensitive and just ready to explode any minute. At one point when I made him edge a little further than he wanted (by humping back up at him) and I giggled as I said “aww I’m so mean to you.” Truth is, I know I’m not mean, I know this is what he wants, what I want, what WE want and I absolutely love it and get such a happy, joyful feeling from seeing his frustration. I have no idea why I love to see a man so frustrated at my hand but I do, I love it intensely. 🙂
Once we were done doing the sexing thing, we said it was time for bed. I had plans though, since he’s going to be gone and I won’t have time to physically play with him I decided he had to be edged all night. I certainly wasn’t going to wake up and do it so I required him to wake up through the night, get himself hard and use my pussy (while I was asleep or not) to edge himself, over and over again, all night long. I don’t know how many times it was that he woke up to spoon me and slide that horny hard cock in my pussy but I do remember how it felt. I admit, I loved being woken up to my pussy being stretched and feeling his cock running against my g-spot. I’m not even tired this morning from it, I thought I would be but I’m not. Which means I’m more likely to do something like this again in the future.
Cagedmonkey may be going away for the night on business but that doesn’t mean I won’t be sending along a few things to help him remember who owns and controls his sexual pleasure. Not to mention, I’ll be overloading his inbox with sexy pictures and reminders of how much I love him, want him, desire him and love to tease and deny him.
I know you have all been patiently waiting for our next Podcast installment – that sounds weird! lol Anyway, here it is!!! Episode 2 is now available for your listening pleasure! I really think you will enjoy it as much as we loved answering your questions! Thanks so much to everyone for the great feedback from our last podcast and for the wonderful questions to answer!
We would LOVE to hear from you again but for now, I’ll shut up and let you listen! You can click to download or listen now!
As much as I would love to, I couldn’t possibly write about every time I tease cagedmonkey or every little thing we do. If I did I would have so many little micro posts on this blog haha. That’s one reason I like having Twitter, because we get to tweet out those sexy little tid bits!
So, I’m not going to get into the difficulties, again, about staying in someone else’s house and trying to be invisible so you don’t disrupt their life too much – I’m sure some of you get it. I do want to stress that, even in this situation, tease and a sense of control for both us, it’s still extremely important. We don’t have much opportunity but I try to find those little amounts that we do have and sneak in a tease here or there. Sometimes I send him up to play video games alone and keep the kids busy on a project just so I can do things like this – to remind him who’s in control. It also drives home the incredible horniness he has from being teased and denied for a almost 150 days!
Ladies ask me all the time about how I keep him teased and what can they do so that their guy isn’t just locked up and forgotten about – because that’s the worst thing that could happen. Honestly, Ladies and gents, it’s the little things that keep it going and keep it fun. Just like it’s the little things in marriage, and we work everyday to keep that going… Having a guy in chastity or just controlling his orgasm without a cage is still work but it’s the fun kind of work! 🙂
I was talking to a friend about this stuff this morning too. He only wishes I had him locked in a cage, teased and denied for 150 days haha. But we talked about some of those little things and how they are needed to keep things going good! Even a quick grab of the cage and balls is a helpful reminder of who they belong to! 🙂
Although I’m craving a good bondage and torture session (that’s for another post lol) these little reminders I give him help remind me that he is mine. He wears that cage for me, he submits to me because he is a strong man who loves me and trusts me. I feel like I am the lucky one to have such an amazing submissive man as my hubby who gives me his everything if, when and how I ask.
The other evening before bed, cagedmonkey and I snuck in a little play time. I stroked him and teased him and edged his cock. I love seeing that anguish on his face, that deep need for release as I stroke his cock closer and closer, only to stop and leave him unfulfilled.
I know he misses having an orgasm and I know he is extremely horny after over 4 months of denial. I felt so bad and awfully devious the other night that I decided to let him get himself good and hard and stroke his cock. I even let him stroke to an orgasm… Unfortunately, it wasn’t HIS orgasm he was stroking to. I allowed him to stroke his cock, while I looked right into his eyes and masturbated myself to an awesome orgasm.
I forced him to continue looking at me the whole time and he was not allowed to stop stroking until I was finished and satisfied. In other words, I came three times while I forced him to keeping stroking and watching me cum, over and over.
Since we moved cagedmonkey has been in and out of his new Jail Bird. Something about it is just not as comfortable as the original… Though since the moving truck incident, we can’t seem to locate the original JB! It’s quite frustrating to say the least. So the other night I had hubby unlock himself and we slept together without the steel pressing into me. Which, honestly, I don’t mind and actually like because I know he’s locked up for me, when he is.
The next morning I woke up to the most beautiful, sexy sight. I got up and went to the bathroom and as I walked out cagedmonkey was uncovered just enough that his sexiness practically took my breath away. I couldn’t, obviously, share the whole picture but when you wake up to this kind of thing, it’s hard not to take advantage of it!
I straddled hubby and pushed my big boobies together in his face and as he took them in his hands and mouth I slowly slid his hard cock between my pussy lips teasing him. He was so hard and aching to be inside me. I heard him moan into my breasts as I moved my hips back and forth. Then I lifted myself up just enough to position him at my warm, wet opening and slid him slowly into my tightness. I rode him slowly and methodically, teasing him as I enjoyed feeling his big thick cock inside me.
We rolled over and he began thrusting into me, he knew he wasn’t allowed to cum and tried hard to hold off. He’d stop thrusting just as he got to the edge, except the last time, as I started to orgasm myself. I was there ready to squeeze his cock with my strong muscles but I just needed another thrust… Just one more! So I pushed my hips up at him to get that extra thrust which was one too many for him and caused him to ruin an orgasm inside me. I couldn’t help myself, I giggled and said, “oops, Did I just ruin that orgasm for you?” 🙂