long term chastity

All posts tagged long term chastity

I know it’s kinda crazy to be looking as far ahead as next year… but, honestly, can you really blame me? With as long as I’ve been waiting for an orgasm? But – and this might be even crazier – it’s not my orgasm that I’m focusing on. I’m assuming (guessing, lol) that it won’t be too far into next year before I get to cum. It’s the “after that” that’s on my mind.

For much of the past 3 years, ML and I have been working towards various things. At first, it was building up my comfort with the chastity cage so that I could spend longer time locked up for My Lady. Once I was able to go about three weeks without any problems, it showed that ML could keep me locked indefinitely if she chose to. And after suffering through over 6 months of denial, it’s pretty clear that ML can deny me for as long as it pleases her to do so.

ML and I have worked very hard to get to the point where she was fully in control of my sexuality and not held back by any physical limits. Now that we’ve gotten to that point, what’s next for us?

After ML allows me my next orgasm (if? Dear Lord, I hope it’s not if!), I expect us to move to a simpler arrangement – no scheduling, no “shooting for” chastity/denial sessions… even no Maybe Days. If ML wants me locked, I stay locked until she wants my cock free. If she wants to deny me, I don’t get to cum until she lets me. It could be days, weeks, months, etc. for either chastity or orgasm denial.

Since “whatever ML chooses” isn’t really a goal (it’s more just fun, which is much more awesomer), ML and I decided on some other things to work toward. We each had a list, and – not surprisingly – they were very similar. One thing that we both agree on is that we want to try some more bondage exploration. ML really wants to learn how to tie me up good and tight, and I really want her to. We’ve also received some bondage toys recently (and purchased some, too… we aren’t total freeloaders, lol), which we will be reviewing soon.

Even though (in my “desperate-to-cum” state) I’m looking ahead to next year already, I’m sure we’ll start exploring our new goals sooner than that. The question will be whether or not I can handle the intense domination that is sure to come… or if it really matters to My Lady at all. 🙂

I haven’t had a full night’s sleep for the past three nights. I’ve woken up at 4 am each night with an extremely painful cage-strangled erection, and the only way to calm myself down is to get out of bed and do something to take my mind off it. I try to lay in bed and relax – think about boring things, do math in my head, etc. – but nothing works. The pressure of my erection starts to ache, which is kind of a turn on for me, which keeps my erection from calming down… there’s no escaping the problem at that point.

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Maximum rootage.

The worst part is that I’m suffering through all these aches and pains, and I’m nowhere near getting the pressure relief of being unlocked that I so desperately need. It’s only been a little over a week since My Lady locked me up tight in the Jailbird, and the intensity of the ache feels like it’s been a month. And I have more than a month to go before I’m released!

I can tell ML is enjoying making me feel this way. She relishes the idea that it is her that makes my cock ache the way it does, and that thoughts of her are what keep it going strong. She’s been ultra horny over the past week (time-of-the-month or not, she’s feeling it bad!), teasing me just a little bit extra and getting off on it a lot bit extra. She’s even having sex dreams pretty much on a nightly basis now… I thought that was my thing!

I feel the energy building between us quickly and strongly. We’ve been talking a little bit about our desires, and when our horny feelings get really intense, we both start to want the same things. I’m not entirely sure, but I feel us moving towards a possible intense kink scene if this buildup continues. Come to think of it, we don’t have any plans this weekend. Who knows what ML has been dreaming up for me this past week…

(Taking a small break from the group sex weekend posts…. Don’t worry, the rest of the weekend will be posted)

I have to admit, I haven’t been the best sub I can be lately. I’ve been serving My Lady, being a good boy and satisfying her whenever and however she wishes, but I haven’t been submitting fully and completely to her. I’ve been wanting too much, and I’ve been making my wants known just a little too often.

There’s a difference between sharing my fantasies with My Lady, and telling her what I’d like her to do to me. I’m usually pretty good at avoiding the whole “top from the bottom” thing, but I’m far from perfect. My attitude has been contributing to some of ML’s down mood over the past week or so because she is afraid she is disappointing me. I shouldn’t be disappointed about anything because I shouldn’t be expecting anything.

Why am I having such trouble submitting? I’m almost sure it’s because of ML’s chastity plans for me – she wants to keep me locked 24/7 until Christmas. Forget having to go 2 months without an orgasm; I’m going to go 2 months without have a single full erection. And, honestly, that scares me.

When facing such a long lockup, I naturally want to have one last whatever-it-is that I want. In the past (both childhood and in our marriage), if something didn’t happen on a regular basis, there was a chance that it would be forgotten/phased out/etc. My mind thinks that if I have to wait that long (or, for some activities that we haven’t done for a while, even longer than a few months), will ML be interested? Has she already lost interest in some things that have faded from view? Are there things that we’ve done once and I’ve enjoyed, but will never happen again just because “it’s not something we do anymore”?

I hate these questions, because I hate not having the answers. But the beauty of submitting is that I don’t need the answers to these questions. All I need to know is that I belong to My Lady, and she wants what she wants. The answers to those questions are irrelevant if my focus is on her pleasure and fulfilling her desires.

Cleaning up the mail box so here is a potpourri of Mail Chastity questions I’ve received. It might end up being a little bit of a longer post. Sorry for the delay in answering any of your questions!

Chris writes:

“I follow your blog some time now. I realy like it.
I plan to buy a steelworkxx looker 1. I am looking for advice on the cockring. I read that people sleep better with a normal ring than with the anatomical ring. The anatomical ring would give a burning/biting feeling. Do you have experience with both of them? What would be your advice?”

I think that the difference between an anatomical ring and a regular one is really a matter of preference. I’ve heard guys swear by its comfort, but I didn’t like it when I wore mine with the Revenge. The curvature at the bottom never seemed to find a comfortable place, and it just didn’t feel right. Now I use just the regular straight ring with the Revenge, and everything feels fine.

My best advice would be to go with what suits you best. If you’re uncomfortable with the anatomical ring, I wouldn’t try to gut it out just because other people do better with it. Try out the regular ring and see how it feels, and then go with whichever is better.

A gentleman from FetLife asks:

“Does chastity hurt as the denial sets in?”

I’m going to answer this in two parts, because it’s a more complicated question than you might realize.

Physically, chastity shouldn’t “hurt” over time as the denial continues. A proper fitting cage with proper hygiene won’t cause any skin irritations; as far as blue balls go, I would consider that more tenderness than actual pain. Yes, they are more sensitive to your normal daily jostling, but it’s not a constant source of discomfort.

Mentally, it definitely comes and goes. During long denial periods I can go from being super psyched (“I’m going to be denied orgasm for three months? That’s crazy!”) to wanting it to end (“I’m not going to have an orgasm for the rest of the summer? That’s HORRIBLE!”). It’s during these times when I’m desperate for relief that it really, truly hurts me when ML says no. After all, the feeling is real; at that moment, I really do want to be done with being denied. It can be a major downer when it seems like she isn’t acknowledging my feelings for release.

At these times, it’s important for me to remind myself that she is acknowleding these feelings… however, she also knows that I crave the feelings that come with absolute submission to her. If she gave in to my needs before she truly wanted to, yes I would get the instant gratification of orgasm, but it would be tainted by later feelings of guilt.

So yes, there is emotional pain that comes with orgasm denial and chastity… but in my opinion, it’s definintely worth suffering through for the intense sexual connection that both My Lady and I get out of it.

What type of device do you prefer?

My personal favorite is the Jailbird. I like the open-style cages the best, because it just looks better in my opinion. I have nothing against the closed-style devices, but ones like the Revenge are a little too “hardcore” for my liking. They require much more stringent upkeep and cleaning practices. Plus, I really do like the way it looks when my cock bulges against the bars of the JB, like it wants to get out so bad that’s it’s trying to break through the steel. 🙂

Can chastity completely remove a desire or ability to orgasm?

Quite the opposite, I’d say! It’s possible to lose the desire to orgasm while in chastity, but I think that would have to do with a mental/psychological issue rather than the chastity itself. Normally, the longer you are locked up and/or denied, the more intense the need for release gets.

With that said, a man’s orgasm may be weakened slightly from long term orgasm denial. The muscles that contract during orgasm may atrophy after a long time of not being used. This would pass after the muscles are re-strengthened (i.e. after you cum lots and lots). I found that you can reduce this effect by doing kegel exercises on a regular basis.

Can chastity be used to modify someone to orgasm by verbal command?

I don’t think that chastity can be used as behavior modification in that way. I’m guessing the only way to achieve that would be through some sort of hypnosis – which I don’t recommend, only because I have absolutely no experience with it, and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for fucking up some guy’s mind so they can’t ever cum again unless he hears the word “watermelon.”

Are there health risks to long term chastity?

Other than possible skin irritations from not having a proper fit, or perhaps injury from laying on the cage the wrong way or something like that, I don’t think there are serious health risks to long term chastity. There is some evidence that orgasm denial is related to a slight increase in prostate problems, but there is also contradictory evidence that says the opposite.

Does chastity affect testicle size long term?

I haven’t experienced any increase in testicle size, at least not permanent – (perhaps during a long denial they may feel or seem swollen, but it’s not a lasting effect. What I have experienced, to quite a degree, is some stretching of my scrotum. I’m naturally a “low hanger,” but after wearing a chastity device for so long – and the repeated erection attempts that often come with longer denials – my balls hang a bit lower than they used to. It’s not a major problem; it’s not like I sit on them on accident or that they drop into the toiler water when I use the bathroom or anything like that. But I guess I would consider that a “side effect” of long term chastity.

Thank you again for all of your questions. Please feel free to write and ask us anything!

ML is extremely determined to keep me locked up for the entire month. Previous attempts at lengthy 24/7’s usually ended at about 3 weeks or so, which is where we are right now. Although she has been pushing herself lately (and denying herself, in a sense), she really wants to keep me locked up and frustrated for the entire month.

When My Lady gets very turned on, her sexual aggression reaches what would best be described as “turbo-charged” status. The control she has over me turns her on so much, which feeds her aggression, which pushes the limits of her control over me even further. This cycle continues going round and round until she reaches horny maniac critical mass. And when she can’t hold back any more, she unleashes her sexual fury on me.

Last night, ML and I were sitting watching TV, and we started getting kissy and touchy like we usually do before I have to go to work. ML eventualy made it to her favorite position, straddling my body and kneeling high over me, pushing my body down into the couch. I looked into her eyes and I could see it building in her. Her entire body shuddered and she moaned as her body pressed into mine. I groaned, loving the feeling of being compressed by her weight. Then I felt her body change, tensing up as the desire to take me overwhelmed her.

She lifted herself up and looked down at me. Before I could say anything, she reached down and grabbed my face and forced me to kiss her. It was a rough, animalistic kiss; her tongue darted deep into my mouth, attacking me from every angle. Her hands squeezed my chin and cheeks, forcing my mouth open as she shoved her tongue into my mouth. I wasn’t even kissing her back; instead, I was simply being kissed by her. I had no choice but to be taken by her lips and tongue… not that I would have resisted if I could have.

As My Lady forced her kisses on me, she began to grind her hips into my lap. Soon, I was moaning and whimpering into her mouth, wanting so badly to be free of my cage and inside her warm wet pussy. My moans turned ML on even more, and she growled as she grabbed my head and shook me against the back of the couch. She was like some sort of feral sexual monster, let loose and attacking her prey. I was helpless, and it felt so great.

Eventually, the energy was too much for My Lady to deal with, and she had to climb off of me to rest and catch her breath. I was no better off; I, too, was out of breath, as well as throbbing in my cage. We just sat and held each other for a few minutes as we recovered from the moment. I was almost totally limp, I was just “there.” It felt very sub-spacey, although I don’t think either of us were fully there. It was damn close, though.

After a few moments, we were able to talk to each other again. We shared lots of “wow”s and “oh my god”s and “what the fuck was that”s, but I let ML know that it was all a good thing. Sometimes, when ML reaches this level of aggression and lets loose on me, she gets worried afterwards that the things she did went too far. This often will lead to dom drop for her. As we talked, I made sure that ML understood that I want her to be like that. I want her to be as agressive as she wants to. I want her to act and not think. I don’t want her to be holding back in the moment, thinking if what she wants to do is right. If she wants to do it, I want her to do it…. and I mean anything. We always talk things over after an intense scene; if something that she tries doesn’t work for us, we can work it out afterwards. And, I always have my safeword as a last resort in the moment.

When My Lady lets loose her aggression on me, it is a beautiful and powerful experience. I want her to know that I want her to let the animal in her out and take me as her prey. There really is nothing else like it.

In the grand scheme of things 3 weeks doesn’t seem like much but that’s where cagedmonkey is in the 24/7 wearing of his Jail Bird. We usually get here and I’m the one dying to take him out. It seems my stamina is getting a little better, though, today in horny as hell and I really want to rip that thing off of him and ride him raw. Haha 🙂

He’s been begging an awful lot and it’s damn sexy I must say. Really wants out of that cage. In sure it doesn’t help that I’m almost constantly getting him hard whether we are together or not. If we aren’t I send him naughty pics and I just love that he’s been so incredibly drippy lately. I miss him telling me how he gushed precum on the way to work.

Anyway, I’m contemplating taking him out this weekend and giving him a bit of a surprise! Especially since he’s off work all week next week. I know we will find time to have some playtime fun!