All posts tagged humiliation

I was asked recently what exactly I meant by “private public humiliation” and I felt the need to share what I mean here on the blog because I think a lot of Doms, subs, tops and/or bottoms would be interested in my take on this whole thing. First, let me get through the whole actual definition part of it all so everyone is well aware of what I’m talking about in general. Yes, I am sticking to the erotic nature of this because, obviously, that would be the ultimate goal here is to flick some sexual switch inside a person and get them turned on with all of this. Obviously if you want to know more about this type of psychological play please look it up. It’s a very touchy subject because it can get deep down into someone’s emotions and it can be a fine line between fun and not so fun and sometimes bordering on abuse – so lets not go there!


Erotic Humiliation is consensual psychological humiliation in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can and often does include the person being humiliated and demeaned but not always. This can be exciting for the person being humiliated or the person doing the humiliating, or for some spectator.

Public (Erotic) Humiliation is humiliation play performed in front of other people. It’s that simple, the submissive is verbally or physically humiliated in front of his or her friends, family members, or even strangers.

Private Public (Erotic) Humiliation is humiliation play that is performed in privately in a public setting, usually in front of friends, family members, or even strangers.

Now, let me get a little more in depth here. I’m not totally into humiliation or degradation, it really isn’t my thing. I do like to push boundaries and run submissive men along the edges of play, especially cagedmonkey. He very much does not like to be made to feel incompetent or stupid and definitely does not want to be degraded and talked down to. I think he has worked hard to finally build up his confidence and self esteem that doing those things to him would be detrimental. I, for one, am not about being bitchy or mean or putting someone down… however hubby and I have found that a little private humiliation or private embarrassment can be fun. You get a touch of the humiliation play without hurting one emotionally or, something I’m REALLY against, bringing some unwilling party into your play and exposing them to something that may not be at all into. What I mean is, sending your sub to Victoria’s Secret and making them tell the sale person they are looking for panties for themselves and perhaps making them expose the fact that they are in chastity. This type of play is not ok… that poor employee didn’t ask to be humiliated right along with the submissive so that is just something I am against.

I figured I’d take a minute to give you some ideas of how to privately do some public humiliation so here you go:

(Please note while I have done a lot of these things they are not all things I have done but they are ideas of things that could be done privately)

– wearing butt plug (especially out in public, doing mundane things)
– wearing a cock ring with an erection (Stay hard longer)
– masturbating in a public restroom
– going to drive thru, ordering food, then cumming on and eating it.
– wearing panties
– buying panties for himself
– wearing pantyhose
– wearing garter and stockings
– having to write degrading words on yourself/chest then where light colored shirt out
– send him to buy you feminine items (makeup, panties, bra’s, tampons)
– wearing female deodorant and/or perfume and using female bathing items
– choose his meal and order for him when eating out
– send him to the restroom while out to eat, make him edge himself and then walk back to the table hiding his erection
– have him paint your toe nails, and then have him paint his own to match
– sitting down at all times when using the toilet
– have him carry your purse when in public

– kneeling in front of you regularly, to speak to you or beg for something (including sexual things)

If you have some ideas of your own, please feel free to comment below and add them to the list. I’m so sure everyone out there would appreciate it. There really are a lot of things you can have a guy do that doesn’t expose people to your play. If you are looking for some REAL public humiliation find yourself a good space for that with like minded people – there are munches and other gatherings around all over the place and I’m positive you would find a more willing party there to get some public play out of it. Check Fetlife for events in your area!

Friday night was “date night,” our chance to get the kids out of our hair and either go out somewhere for dinner or even just go home and enjoy a house empty of children. With the kids gone, My Lady and I were excited to give our new toys from KTM a try, seeing as it’s hard to set up and use either the stockade or the fucking machine without worrying about the kids coming out of their bedroom and into the living room. With the house to ourselves, there were no such concerns, so ML and I aimed to try them out before I would be out of commission due to my elbow sugery next week (maybe….).

We fetched the toys from the bedroom closet and brought them out to the spacious living room floor. Along with the stockade and the fucking machine, we brought out the fleshlight attachment and the vac-u-lock dildo ML had purchased earlier in the week.

(Side note: I’m not completely oblivious; when the vac-u-lock dildo arrived in the mail, I was a little confused as to why it was only five inches long. Knowing that ML enjoys my significantly larger cock, I wondered why she ordered one so small. I even asked her if it was for me; she said that she didn’t want to go too big for her first try with the machine. I just wanted to point out that I’m not totally in the dark all the time.)

Since I already had a trial run with the machine, it was My Lady’s turn to give it a test drive. She laid down on her back while I positioned the machine between her legs (we really need a name for this thing, other than “the machine”… I’m going with Pete, considering that the name of the model is Sneaky Pete). I began at a slow pace, moving the dildo into and out of ML’s pussy while being careful to watch her to make sure there were no “aiming incidents.”

I was worried that ML might react in a “meh, it’s ok but no big deal” way, but my concerns quickly vanished when she started moaning and reached down to rub her clit. I quickened the pace a little bit, and she started to roll her hips just the tiniest bit. She was starting to enjoy it, rubbing her clit faster, pushing herself to her first machine-induced orgasm. She moaned louder as her orgasm hit, and I let the machine continue fucking her as the pleasure pulsed through her body. As her body continued to tremble, her pussy gushed and squirted as the dildo continued to drive into her pussy. I slowed down Pete as she came down from her orgasm. The smile on her face told me all I needed to know about her opinion of the using the machine.

Next, it was time to try out the stockade. ML and I adjusted the bars to fit my height, setting the waist pad to a position where I could not move my hips and locking the collar so I couldn’t move or even turn my head. It felt amazing to be locked onto it, completely unable to move or adjust my body even the slightest bit. ML had me right where she wanted me, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to prevent her from doing what she wanted to me.

My Lady took a moment to spank my exposed ass until I yelped in pain. Then I heard movement behind me. I tried to turn my head, but the collar prevented me from seeing anything behind me. ML and I had talked about my fantasy of using the fleshlight on me in the stocks, and for a moment I wondered what was taking her so long to get set up. Then, as it slowly dawned on me that ML was able to do ANYTHING, I felt the rubber cock brush against my ass cheek. “Oh God,” I thought, as it became obvious what ML was going to do.

Before I had a chance to beg ML not to, she slid the well lubed dildo into my ass. “Relax,” she said, “it’s going in whether you want it to or not. Just relax.” What choice did I have? I tried my best to relax as she pushed the cock in further, unable to hold back a moan as it slid in deeper. After a pause, with ML graciously allowing me a chance to prepare for what was going to happen, I heard the machine’s drive shaft come to life.

The fake cock slowly pulled back almost all the way out of my ass, then just as slowly stroked back into me. I grunted as I took the full length of the dildo in my ass. In and out, Pete did not stop filling my ass over and over. ML varied the pace, speeding up and slowing down randomly, preventing me from completely adjusting to what was happening. She gave me fast strokes, using the machine to pound my ass. She also gave me incredibly slow strokes, forcing me to feel every inch of the dildo as it slowly violated me.

It was a very intense experience; I had so many thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head and my body. It’s hard for me to keep the thoughts in a particular order, so I decided to just make a list of the things I remember. In no particular order, here are the things I felt and thought about as I was slowly pegged over the better part of an hour:

– I felt completely powerless. The stockade prevented me from moving or even wiggling away from the machine, and it took no rest while it was fucking me.

– I knew we had to pick up the kids at some point, but I had no idea what time it was, as the stockade’s prevented me from turning my head to see the clock. I had no idea how long I would have to endure what was happening to me.

– I felt humiliated. I will admit that when ML used a slower pace, the stimulation on my prostate felt very good. I started moaning because of the pressure building up, and ML started to chuckle, saying that I was “moaning like a little bitch wanting to be fucked.” And, to be honest, that’s how I felt. She was right.

– My cock was dripping precum non-stop. The prodding of my prostate caused my cock to leak like crazy, and I wanted to be stroked so fucking bad. But during the whole ordeal, ML only touched my cock once, squeezing a big gob of precum out of it. The rest of the time, my cock bobbed and twitched, and my hips kept trying to push forward to search for some kind of stimulation. Of course, I couldn’t even move an inch because of the waist pad.

– There was one point where I just kinda gave up and let the machine fuck me. I’m not sure if ML sensed this in me, but she turned up the machine to fuck me faster. The dildo pushed against me, and I felt my body rocking back and forth in the stocks the slightest bit. I immediately pictured what the women look like in porn movies when guys fuck them from behind, rocking them forward with their thrusts. At that moment, I realized the machine was turning me into it’s little slut, and ML was controlling all of it.

– ML came around to the front of the stocks to use my face to please her pussy, but the collar prevented her from getting a good angle. She even got on all fours in front of me and shoved her ass in my face. My mental image of this was fucking insane: Pete pegging me from behind, pushing my face forward into ML’s ass and pussy as she used me like an object. Fuck, I got so turned on. But the collar still prevented ML from getting exactly what she wanted. She ended up unlocking the collar so she could move my head around more freely.

– ML sat on the couch and put her feet up on my back as she watched tv… OMGWTF???? That was when it hit me that this wasn’t going to be some quickie fun play… ML was going to leave me there for as long as she wanted to. It was at this point that I started to beg her to please stop. She said, “No way… I suggest you start liking it because it’s going to be a while before you’re done.” I nearly began to cry after that comment. That’s when it really started to feel like I was being raped. The slow deliberate pace of the thrusting was an even bigger mindfuck.

– I came very close to safewording, but not because of the pegging… my hands were starting to go numb! That, plus I was concerned about my elbow being stressed for so long… rightly concerned, as it turned out, because my elbow was stiff and sore for quite some time after being let out. After my recovery, we need to work on finding a better position for me in the stockade, one that I can be put in for as long as ML wants me there so there.

All in all, it was quite an amazing experience. It’s one of those “I’d definitely do it again… Just not this weekend” things. My ass is still sore from the rough treatment I received, but I’ll admit it’s a type of sore that turns me on. The next time (who knows if/when that will be), I wonder if My Lady will take her turn in pegging me in the stocks!

Yesterday I wrote about my craving for Dominance. The craving to create a scene where cagedmonkey was on the very submissive side of things. I wrote about wanting to basically use and abuse him… dare I say, to fulfill a lighter version of a “Rape Fantasy.”

For our wonderful followers pleasure I thought I would describe how the 4 hours of alone time in the house went. I really do feel like it’s worth hearing about. For us it was pretty deep Dom/sub stuff, humiliation and forceful sexual things. I do hope you enjoy and I assure you one hundred percent that I am not exaggerating our sex scenes or telling you fantasies.

Our morning started very early cagedmonkey got home from work while I was getting the kids up, fed and out to their day camp. While I was gone I left him with instructions. He was to prepare the bedroom, the bed restraints, get my wand ready and make sure a few select toys were available to me when I got back. He was also to be waiting for me downstairs, naked.

I walked back in the door and my good boy was sitting on the couch – wearing nothing but his Jail Bird. So damn sexy, was my first thought. I’d already explained to hubby how “hungry” I was for him. So walking in the door seeing him like that made me that much hungrier for him. I stripped down to nothing but a black tank top and straddled him on the couch and got him going a bit by grabbing his face and forcefully kissing him, by licking his lips like he was some yummy lollipop. Once I felt myself get past that point… that point of need, I told him it was time to go upstairs.

First thing I did was instruct him to lay face down on the bed, it’s not like I needed access to a caged up cock. This was all about me taking him, using him and abusing him, I had no use for his cock. I tied him down tight spread eagle on the bed.
Once he was tied down I spent a good time with my paddle against his sexy little ass! Oh good Lord did I ever get turned on spanking him. I literally pooled under me and was actively dripping from my wet pussy.
I realize that I like spanking him a lot, like a whole lot! I just had no idea I liked it so much that it would cause my pussy to pour out under me while doing it. It is something I really need to do much more! I just loved the noises he was making, the moans and whimper as I smacked the paddle against his cheeks. I spanked him progressively harder, all over his ass. I spanked both cheeks, and also spread his ass apart and swatted his actual asshole and just for good measure I gave his exposed balls a light tap.

After I got his ass a nice gorgeous rosy red, I started to use a prostate massager on him while I used my magic wand to vibrate his balls and cage. The combination of anal stimulation and vibration had him moaning. I just love when he moans! While doing that I could feel myself enjoying the powerful feelings. I was really getting into it the more sounds he made. I continued swatting him with my hands as I was stimulating his senses. All of these sensations had him writhing on the bed (as much as the restraints would allow).

I felt so aroused and knew it was time to take what I wanted. Plus I figured while his ass was stinging, it would be a great time to get my strap-on. I strapped my lower half in and grabbed, what we call the “Pearl” attachment – it is a pearl blue, not obnoxiously huge non-phallic rubber probe, so somewhat soft. Before I started in on his ass, I made him get pearl ready so I could use it on him. I walked around the end of the bed, held pearl at the base and demanded he suck it. I fucked his mouth with it over and over while he drooled spit down his chin and all over the bed. I kept sliding it in and out forcing him to gag over and over on my strap-on. Once I felt he’d gagged enough I climbed up on the bed and positioned myself behind him. I made sure to use lots of lube and I began by slowly making love to him, but very soon I realized I could not get the leverage I wanted. I said “oh fuck this,” and yanked pearl from the strap-on and began using it by hand. I was fucking him hard and deep with it, pushing it in as far as it would go. Cagedmonkey was moaning and squirming and, was I ever getting turned on by the sounds I was making come out of him. Soon, he began to moan louder, especially because I started talking dirty to him, telling him what a little slut he was.

When I felt like his ass was taking pearl way too easy I told him I thought it was time for something bigger. I went to our closet and got another one of our attachments, this one was a large, ribbed, bronze dildo – MUCH larger, still rubber but a little more firm. He knew that one was going to fill him up and maybe even hurt if i used it on him. He begged me not to, but I just continued walking to him. I stood right at the end of the bed in front of his face and lifted up his chin. I looked down at him, directly into his eyes, and said, “Suck it, bitch,” and I shoved it into his mouth. I fucked his face with it, forcing it down his throat and making him gag heavily on it. When he tried to swallow all of the saliva that was dripping off the dildo, I told him he didn’t have permission to swallow and I continued fucking his mouth. The spit was running down his chin as I continued to make him choke on the huge dildo.
Then I positioned myself behind him once again. He was begging and pleading with me again not to fuck him with it, but I simply did not respond. I slathered that big thing with lube and slowly pushed it into his ass, deeper and then a little deeper. I then began fucking him with it, slowly at first and picking up the pace as I kept going. It wasn’t to long before I was pounding his ass with the dildo, hard and fast as deep as it would go. He was screaming, no and being me to stop. After a few minutes of this torture I felt his body just fall limp on the bed. This didn’t stop me from fucking him, however, I continued to rape his body like a rag doll. The whole time I was calling him dirty names – asking if he liked being fucked like a filthy slut, telling him that I loved punishing his “dirty whore ass”, etc. It was an extremely powerful feeling!

I wasn’t quite done with him at that point. I untied his ankles and demanded he get on his knees and told him if he wanted me to stop so bad he had to show me. I forced him to rock himself back into me and fuck himself with the dildo. I can only imagine how humiliating it must have been being forced to fuck himself with the one thing he is hating! Making him do that gave me an even bigger sense of power. I’m sure I must have giggled out loud at my excitement… making him do that because I told him to. He really is a good subby hubby who takes what I give him.

When I was finally done, I decided it was my turn. I untied him and laid back on the bed and demanded that he lick my pussy to an orgasm. He happily followed my instructions, slurping up my sopping wet pussy and licking me to two loud orgasms. Then I rolled over on my belly and positioned my wand on my clit while I pushed my ass back against his face, forcing his tongue deep into my quivering asshole. I came a couple more times that way, loud and forcefully until I couldn’t take anymore. I rolled over and laid back, exhausted yet satisfied. Cagedmonkey sat there, abused and terribly frustrated.

I write this blog based on our experiences, feelings and general knowledge. I’m not a professional nor do I claim to be an expert. I do know that there are some feelings and emotions in this lifestyle that are pretty common. You don’t have to be a Domme or a Keyholder, all you have to be is a partner to someone who has fantasies.
In our contract, cagedmonkey and I are both required to share any and all fantasies with each other. No matter how crazy, absurd or off the wall they may seem. We are also required to listen to each others fantasies without judgement and with open-mindedness (is that a word?). There are two ways we can respond to fantasies, enthusiastically: “Ooo, damn baby that sounds great I want to try that!” Or accepting: “well, that’s interesting. I don’t think that’s something I’d be into, at least not right now but it is interesting.” This is when we can ask questions, see what the reasoning is behind the fantasy, spanking? humiliation? pain? etc and maybe see if there is even some aspect of it we might like to explore.

One thing someone can start to feel, when hearing your partners fantasies, is responsible. We instantly feel like we HAVE to fulfill said fantasies. We start to feel intimidated by the fantasies thinking we will never measure up. Well I’m here to set the record straight… just because someone has a fantasy does not mean it needs to be fulfilled or that they even want it fulfilled. Not everything can be done but the thought of some things is enough to get a guy to struggle against those cage bars! 🙂

There are several ways to handle a fantasy. Some are like, “Woohoo! I want to do that right now!” Others are like, “well, let’s look in to how to do that right but it sounds awesome so let’s explore.” Some might be like, “I’m not sure I’m into all of that but I did like __________ and I would love to try that part.” And still others are like, “Holy shit you cray cray in the hay hay!” Those fantasies may be better off left as a fantasy inside your nutty little head. Haha however that’s not to say those “head fantasies” cannot be used later to mindfuck your partner.

My point in all of this (mostly to the newer Keyholder or partner in charge) is to remind everyone that we are not at all responsible for fulfilling fantasies. We certainly can, and will I’m sure, but it is in no way a requirement of any relationship. They can be just as fun fulfilled as they are talked about.

So now… what are your fantasies? I’m putting out a request, I’d love to hear one of your favorite fantasies that has been fulfilled, that you wish was fulfilled or that is just a really hot thought in your head.

Please leave a comment or send us an email! 🙂