In a way men have it easy when it comes to emotions… they are simple minded and I definitely mean that as a compliment. It’s so complicated being a woman and being emotionally and hormonally driven. Women have to over-think everything and talk the hell out of something. Many times a guy just takes things as they are and goes with it and accepts it… they aren’t sitting there reading into or analyzing this, that or the other thing. It’s so annoying sometimes being a woman.
I’m guilty of this as I’m sure a few women are:
We have to go an over think things and create stuff in our heads we’re getting upset over when there was nothing even remotely close to that to begin with. Really, he just hit a couple extra traffic lights on the way home, chill out!
Let’s think of it this way, a wife does something that hurts her husband. She realizes she was hurtful, apologizes, he accepts the apology and he never thinks of it again. Done, overwith in his mind, yay!
Now, a guy does something that hurts his wife. Remember a woman is emotionally and hormonally charged, so her husband may realize his part in it and apologize, great! Yeah it’s not over yet! A woman may continue to analyze, relive it over and over again in her head and try to figure it out. It lingers there, eating away at her unless every angle her mind is coming up with is addressed.
So I made this analogy the other day to describe the way a wife’s mind may handle a situation. Yeah, I can get confusing sometimes but hopefully you get my point here. This comes out of my mouth much better in conversation. Ok I imagine you have an area rug over your hardwood floor. The “something” that was done is sitting there on top. An apology busts it into a bunch of pieces, yay! Now all we need to do is get a garbage bag and pick everything we can up off the rug. The mess is cleaned up, right?
As a woman we know there are smaller bits that couldn’t get picked up by hand and they are then swept under that rug. We know, over time, that walking on that rug will eventually move those bits out from under the rug… great more of the same shit needs to be cleaned up. Some women are able to communicate that these feelings of hurt are creeping back up again to bother her and a husband can then apologize again or reassure her. Fantastic, now we’ve gotten out the vacuum cleaner and sucked up those remaining bits. Now it’s done, right?
Now using the vacuum has sucked up those left over tiny bits that were swept under the rug but in the meantime has spread microscopic dust particles of hurt into the air. What will eventually happen over time is every so often a dust particle will land on a woman’s emotions. It will give that twinge of hurt again. So you see, that one hurt can linger for a woman until you’ve gotten out the air purifier and rid her of every single dust particle.
A hurt women will need to be told and shown, likely multiple times over a period of time, that her hubby is sorry for the same transgression. A woman will likely need to be reminded of how sorry her hubby is for that hurt. Look at it this way… if you manage to get through the vacuuming it’s a hubby’s job to then keep spraying the Endust or Pledge to keep the dust from settling.
I guess what I’m trying to say is… don’t hurt your wife because it’s a hell of a lot more work and time to “apologize” than its worth. One single hurt can turn into years of this roller coaster. Some couples never make it back to the station together, they unbuckle their lap belts and just jump out. Or, if they do make it back, they hold onto those screams that should have come out on the loop-the-loop and they turn into resentment… then have you really made it back at all?
Remember, if you hurt your wife, you’ve just gotten on one hell of a roller coaster ride and because she’s worth it (or you probably wouldn’t have married her) you’ll hold on for dear life and do everything she needs to purify the air.
***please note: I’m not a professional, my ramblings do not necessarily represent every woman or situation… it’s just my opinion and experience as a woman and knowing women.