All posts tagged help

Do you know anything about the Gorean lifestyle and/or kajira? I recently had a long time friend confide in me that she was into this lifestyle. I don’t know much about it but from what I gather (this is very little reading and listening to her) it is very similar to a Master/slave relationship in the bdsm world. Rules to follow, she is the masters property and is not allowed to question, etc. Over the past few days we’ve been chatting about this and it seems she’s been a very very good girl. I would be so proud if she were my submissive! She’s very obedient and devoted.

Anyway, the reason I’m writing this post is to reach out to ask if my readers, their friends and anyone else you might know to give this poor girl some advice. She is a kajira in distress and is spiraling down fast. Here is her story – if you have questions, please ask and I will get answers!

I’m a kajira. I met a gorean Master online. He started training me, as I was brand new. I was also going through a divorce. I followed every rule I was given and He is a very dominant man. Everything was decided by Him. He told me that there would come a time He would need to leave me alone for a while, that after the divorce I would need that time, it was for the best. Last I heard from Him was January 16 and now His email no longer works, as of yesterday. I’m lost, sick to my stomach. I’ve remained devoted and faithful, following every rule. have I been abandoned? He would post how much He hated hearing about a kajira being abandoned, but I wasn’t collared yet. Before He stopped communicating, He’d told me He’d picked out my collar that I would wear the rest of my life. I fell in love with this man. Now I feel broken.

Ladies and gents, I need some serious help for this girl. She hasn’t heard from her Master in almost 6 months. Has she been abandoned? Does she give up waiting to see if he will again contact her? She’s so devoted and faithful to the lifestyle that she has continued to follow her rules and report to him and even continued to ask permission for everything – all without response from him all these months. She is not allowed to speak to other men (to ask another Master for advice), according to her rules, unless they are approved by her Master, but does she even have a Master anymore? She desperately needs advice! Please, I am asking you for help and for you to share this post to help this girl. She is one of my best friends and she trusted me with telling me about her living this lifestyle.

We got an email the other day and I’ve been going over and over it in my head and chatting with cagedmonkey about how to respond… Honestly, I don’t know! So I wanted to post it here and give all of our amazing readers a chance to share their opinions and offer their advice. I know this subject often comes up on the Chastity Forums and there are many different stories told and suggestions offered. Please take a moment and comment if you have something to add. 🙂

Frank wrote and asked:

I have been reading your blog for about a year and have really enjoyed it. I’m a fifty something who wishes he’d learned about chastity 30 years ago. Survivor of prostate cancer who had a radical prostectomy and now can not get an erection. Sex life is almost non-existent. Married for 37 years but wife not into BDSM. She is very vanilla. Might get her to tie me up once a year. Any suggestions?

Thanks, Frank, for being a loyal reader! I appreciate your email and I wanted to respond here. This is a pretty common subject. Since I really do not have any magic words or advice as to how to get someone’s partner into BDSM or chastity… I will just tell you that the things that helped me the most were honesty, communication (the why is big for me), non-judgemental listening and most of all… Time!

For me I freaked out at first – which I know there is a post around here about it somewhere – but after months of my own reading and research and lots of communication, without feeling pressured, I was able to see that the chastity part of it all had nothing to do with hubby not wanting me or not wanting sex with me but everything to do with control and tons more sex and sexual energy between us!

So there is my “advice” if you want to call it that. I do hope that some of our readers will share their story about how they got started or brought up the subject with their partners.

I wish you luck and encourage you to continue to be open and honest with your wife.