femdom

All posts tagged femdom

Wow! What an awesome weekend!! If you’d have asked me 5 years ago if I thought we would be doing what we’re doing right now I would have called you fucking crazy… actually even 3 years ago!! Cagedmonkey and I had a chance to get to our local munch again this past weekend and it was so much fun. We always love getting there to see friends and just laugh and enjoy some time with other people who we feel comfortable being ourselves with. We met this really great couple a month or so ago when we were still pretty new to going to the munch and they happen to have private dungeon. They’ve invited us over before but we just haven’t had a chance to make it. Well, on Saturday, they invited us and some other people from the munch over to their place for a kind of little after party. It really was just a continuation of the munch, except for the fact that there was a bit more going on than what could ever happen in a public restaurant! Hehe I know we mentioned some of this in our last podcast so you get the picture. I do want to say that even though people might think if you go to a private dungeon party or get invited over their house it’s going to be some kind of crazy sex party – it’s really not! I’m sure that may happen but I’m going to guess most of the time it’s just certain types of play. It was so much fun hanging out and some of the time I was kind of reminded of high school when you’d go hang out at in a friend’s basement sneaking beer!

Let me back up a bit though before I go on with the dungeon party. Earlier in the day grandma had come to get the kids for the night so cagedmonkey and I had the entire afternoon to spend time together. You know that meant we got in some good intense playtime. 🙂 I decided to take advantage of the time we had and I locked cagedmonkey in our steel doggy style Stockade. This time I actually used the locking collar attachment since I’d recently lined the collar with a thin layer of neoprene foam.

I really wanted him bound well and unable to move so I could try our a few of my paddles and things on him. He was so trusting and wonderful to take everything I had to give him. And trust me I gave it to him hard and non-stop for almost an hour. I used a few different paddles and the flogger and I also spent some time tickling him while he was locked up and immobile. It was so fun to watch him squirm! I took a picture in the beginning when his sexy butt was nice and red and you could just start to see the marks.

I was also giving his balls a little paddling as well, during it all. I do wish I would have gotten a picture at the end. I had decided to push him harder and in fact I decided to push him past harder to too hard. I wanted to trust that he would use his safeword and so I beat him extremely hard to see where it was that he would, in fact, ask me to stop. I really wanted to get him to his ultimate breaking point. My man took a hell of a lot of me that day… And then we ended up at the dungeon party where, well, he got beat more! At the end of our daytime session I did have to show him just how dripping wet my pussy was and have him clean it up afterwards.

The dungeon party was a ton of fun. There were about 6 couples there total but I to believe we were the only couple with a male submissive. It was all good and we got to see some others using the equipment and the different toys available and some even shared and gave us all a chance to spank their sub. That was fun! 🙂

When it was our turn, I had cagedmonkey get on the spanking bench so I could try out a few of their toys. They had floggers of many styles, paddles, whips, canes, you name it and I also brought my new wooden paddle that my friend got for me. Since I’d already worked hubby over earlier I was really just interested in trying a couple things. I was able to use a cane and then I ended his night with an extremely hard swat with my wooden paddle. 

I will say, they left some pretty spectacular marks on his ass… That stayed for days. I personally think they looked so incredibly awesome the next day…

The lines are from the cane and the big red mark there on his left cheek is from the paddle. I will say that even two days later those marks remained. It truly was a spectacular feeling letting that out and using those different things on him. It felt exhilarating! 

I told hubby next time I need to get him up on their cross… It’s a good thing we already got invited to the next party! 🙂

Very recently Cagedmonkey and I have gotten a crap load of questions, lol and while some we answered specifically to those that asked already we thought the majority could be answered in a post in case any of your were interested in this stuff too. We always encourage people to ask questions and love taking the time to answer either privately or publicly so thanks to those who have asked. We appreciate your interaction and look forward to hearing from you again!! 🙂

Q: Do you see a time in your relationship when you’ll stop chastity?

A: Interesting question… NO! haha Cagedmonkey and I have actually talked about this a lot over the years and it’s comforting to both of us, I think, that neither of us want us to quit this or ever be done with the chastity. We have talked about, even as we age and may not be able to do some of the more hardcore things , we will continue and always have the chastity part of it all.

Q: Would you ever cuckold your husband while he is in chastity or is that something you are not into?

A: This is actually something we’ve talked about a bit. As far as the traditional (is it really traditional at all?) way of cuckolding, no, that is not something I would be willing to do. I am not really looking to have actual sex with other men. However, as we wrote in this post about, what we call, Pseudo-Cuckolding the whole idea of it is kinda hot and the little bit of jealousy of flirting with other men is a hot thing but neither of us have a desire for me to have sex with other men. Women on the other hand, that’s another story…

Q: What are your thoughts of ruined orgasm’s? do you do them, like them, hate them?

A:
Lady M – Oh I LOVE ruined orgasms and, of course, we do them! 🙂 They are really some of my favorite things in tease and denial. I absolutely LOVE when I can get CM right to the point of a ruined orgasm yet NOT give him one. That is a spot where I say I “broke it.” What that means is that I didn’t fully ruin his orgasm but his dick is all confused wondering what the fuck just happened and then I can practically use it as much as I want and he wont cum for a bit until his penis figures out it really didn’t cum! I’m totally smiling writing this and describing it!
CM – Yes, like ML said we do them and I hate them and hate how frustrating they are. I also try very hard not to have them but My Lady is extremely good at forcing them to happen whether I like it or not.

Q: Do you think chastity would work for anyone or does it take a certain relationship dynamic to make it work?

A: I think CM and I both agree on this that it takes a certain kind of person and relationship to actually enjoy chastity play. There has to be the right frame of mind, as we have said, chastity is not a lock it and leave it thing. There is work involved on both sides… unless of course being locked up and forgotten about is your thing. There is a LOT of emotional well being that needs to be considered when getting into chastity. It’s not just a steel (or plastic or resin) cage locked on your cock – there is a shit ton of mindfuckery that HAS to go along with it.

Q: “I just recently found your blog, and was wondering what your experience with the mature metal cage has been. Back in the day, we had a CB2000, but found it difficult to maintain long term chastity due to nighttime erections and swelling. Wondering if you have encountered these issues and how you dealt with it. Thanks.”

A: Mature Metal is really great, no buts about it (and, no, that’s not a paid advertisement, lol). It sounds like the problems you were having weren’t device related; nighttime erections are a pretty normal thing. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I need to do math in my head to get myself under control!

Swelling could be another issue – it could be normal attempted erections, but it also could be a sign that you need to adjust your cage measurements. If your cage is comfortable, it’s probably just that your cock wants to get hard but it can’t.

Q:  I noticed you have a long list of kinks that I absolutely love and a lot I’m curious about. Do you and your husband have any particular favorites?

A: I think our main kinks are tease, orgasm control, chastity, spanking and bondage… I mean we touch on a lot of different fetishes and kinks but those are probably most often.

Q: How is cagedmonkey enjoying his freedom since you let him cum after 10 months?

A: Oh, I’m sorry, were you under the assumption that I let cagemonkey out of his cage and left him unlocked after he got his long awaited orgasm? HAHAHA NOOOOOOO!!!!!! He was unlocked and I got what I needed, I did allow him to sleep uncaged that night but he was locked back up in the morning just like he is everyday. 🙂

 

Thank you all so much for the questions again! I love when we get a big rush of questions come in from all over the place, it’s so much fun to write about them but also it gets CM and I talking about all this stuff and keeps our communication open! Please, email, Twitter, Fetlife, where ever you contact us, please keep them coming. It’s extremely therapeutic!! 🙂

We all know that, in our relationship, I’m in charge. I decide if cagedmonkey will have sexual pleasure, when and even how he will have that pleasure. I can make him go without orgasm for a few days, a week, a year or I can even make him cum over and over in one session. I used to refer to what we did as orgasm denial but that’s not what it is, I was naive in thinking that’s all it was. I know my husband likes to be denied and I’ve known that for over 16 years but in the past 3+ years I’ve realized it’s SO much more than that. There probably are guys out there that just enjoy the orgasm denial part but it isn’t just about denial. It’s about control, orgasm control. It’s about being in control of the very deep pleasure that someone can have, it’s about controlling the existence of that pleasure. You control if they feel that feeling, when they feel it and how they feel that explosive, intense, feeling from their chest to their toes. You are in control of the most intimate of pleasure that someone can have. That’s powerful! Isn’t it? Does the thought of that power excite you? It truly is an awesome power!

Speaking of orgasm control and, control and power in general. The other morning cagedmonkey and I had a pretty hot moment. I was kissing him goodbye in the morning, as I do everyday, and I happened to reach up and grab him near the throat. I felt that twinge in my crotch and was instantly turned on. I grabbed a little harder, squeezed and tightened my grip around his throat as I kissed him. I felt and heard him let out such a delicious moan. I felt my pussy quiver and get all warm between my legs. I love the way that feels!

Immediately I got this incredible urge. It was the urge to make cagedmonkey cum… But not just make him cum in the “normal” way.  As I felt him there, in my hands, holding his very existence in my grip, I wanted to control it all. I wanted to feel the control I had over his entire body in that moment, his breath, his orgasm, his pleasure, his pain… his everything. I could almost see it in that split second, I wanted to have him laying beneath me, under me, while I was riding his cock, choking him while I make him cum nice and deep in my warm wet pussy.
I have no idea why that came over me in those few seconds but it did and it turned me on so completely. The amazing powerful feeling! Anyway, I just wanted to share with you because often I get asked what it is about all this that turns me on or any woman and for a dominate chick it really does come down to the power and control… That is the exciting part!

Alone adult time is something of a Hot commodity around here, now that hubby is working early ass mornings and the kids are getting older and staying up later. Getting that precious time together to do all those deliciously kinky things we want to do doesn’t come easy. Well, today just so happens to be one of those extremely rare times where we get about a full hour of complete alone time together. Now that our daughter goes to school for a small part of the day and cagedmonkey has the day off we are taking full advantage of having the house to ourselves.

I honestly have no clue what is in store for hubby this morning but I’ve had this desire burning inside me for months. This desire to tie him down and make him my little slut. This desire to completely dominate him sexually and use him and make him feel what it is to be my bitch. I want to spank him until he’s whimpering, I want him bound, unable to move, unable to squirm or wiggle away from from whatever I want him to endure.

I really just have this want inside me to take him and use him, all of him, for my pleasure. Using him, taking him, spanking him, pegging him until I just don’t have anything left in me and he’s left there whimpering, after being forced to take it all.

Ah well… It is only an hour so we will have to see what comes of it but, trust me, none of that precious time will be taken for granted. It will be used very wisely! One thing I know for sure id’s that he will NOT be enjoying an orgasm in any of this! 🙂

Last night I decided to see how long Cagedmonkey could stand being in the bondage sack while being tortured in his cage. I got him in it and strapped down and I took the vibrating cock ring, stretched it around his cage and turned it on high speed.

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He was almost instantly bulging out of his cage, I had to be careful putting the cock ring on so I didn’t pinch skin against the bars. I loved hearing him start moaning and I could see him trying to struggle in the sack but he really could not move while strapped in there.

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I left him like that for a good hour, periodically unzipping the zippers on his chest to pinch and pull his nipples. Grabbing the post on his cage to pull and push it in all directions, moving rooty around. I’d even gotten to the point of snuggling in to go to sleep. I was totally prepared to go to sleep and leave the vibrator to wear itself out – I’d just fully charged it before that with my phone charger! 🙂

I made sure, before I got comfortable, that I could trust hubby to use his safeword if he had to. I wasn’t sure with his sensory and elbow issues if he could truly stay in the sack all night. Once he assured me, I was able to relax. A little while later, I’m not positive when because I know I had fallen asleep, I heard him calling me. I know he didn’t want to but he had to use his safeword. We found that restraining him with the bed straps is doable for him to sleep but keeping him long term confined in the bondage sack isn’t going to work for a couple of reasons.

I’m glad we tried this and I’m glad I got in at least a good hour of cock torture. It was fun and made my pussy so wet. It was amazing to see that look in his eye while I was leaned over him tightening the straps down. That “I’m completely helpless” look that turns me on so much!

We were recently asked a bunch of questions from a guy on Fetlife and they were such wonderful questions that I knew we had to take the time to answer them here. Since there are so many, we will be breaking them up over a couple Mail Chastity posts. We are also doing this because some are aimed at me, being the one in control and some to cagedmonkey, being the one controlled and locked in chastity.

Please feel free to ask us anything you like, we really do love interacting with our readers and answering questions. Any questions are ok from general to personal. What would you like to know?

A gentleman from Fetlife asks:

What is it like to have that control over a man?

The best way I can describe this feeling is that it feels powerful. Emotionally I feel strong, empowered, important, wanted, desired and needed. Physically I feel this tingling sensation, this warm rush comes over me and the feelings of power flow through my body. My heart beats a little faster and it’s almost like I can feel my blood pumping through my veins. Sometimes it’s even a bit overwhelming and I have to stop myself and back up for a second or two.

We’ve only been doing this, at this intensity level, for a couple years and only recently have I allowed my natural aggressiveness come out so it can still get overwhelming for me at times. But, cagedmonkey and I both say, this isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon so we have plenty of time to enjoy this I the time that is right for us.

How long did it take to train him to withhold orgasm…because you do allow him sex, right?

First of all, yes, I do allow him sex. Our “sex” happens daily but it’s not the same sex we had before chastity. It’s much more intimate and meaningful and doesn’t necessarily include intercourse. Sometimes we have intercourse. Sometimes we have intercourse, daily. It just depends on what is happening or how I’m feeling because I’m in control of our sexual pleasure.

As for training, there wasn’t much actual training other than practice. Orgasm denial was something cagedmonkey experimented with before he and I met and it’s something we’ve played with the entire 15 years we’ve been together. The past two years there has been a lot of edging and denial and I think, over time, he gets better and better at recognizing his orgasm and where the edge is and he’s learned that feeling of going too far.

I do think a man could be trained in time, with repeated edging and denial, to be able to hold off longer and longer. Denial also makes holding off that much harder. It’s a bit of a double edged sword but possible.

I hope this helped answer his questions and if any of our Dom/Domme readers would like to add their thoughts, please feel free to leave a comment!

I realized today that I’m pretty grateful that my hubby and I work so well together. That our sexual needs and desires perfectly compliment each other. I thanked cagedmonkey today, I thanked him for being everything that I need and for allowing me to be everything that I am with him.

I can be a very aggressive person, if you’ve been reading along, I think we’ve established that. I get rough, I grab, squeeze, scratch, bite, pinch, pull and take what I want. I enjoy letting go and naturally letting my aggression take over, I love feeling my hand around his throat, under his chin or grabbing his face as I pull him in and kiss him very deep, hard and forcibly.

I love how powerful it feels to push him up against the wall, to pinch his nipple before I slide my hand up and hold him there by the throat. I love how it feels to move him exactly where I want him to kiss him or make him suck my titties or I shove his face in my pussy. I love that feeling of making him do exactly what I want him to do and I love when there is hungry, horny, aggression behind it.

No I am not like that all the time nor do I or would I enjoy it all the time… But there are those times when I, quite literally, get off on that powerful feeling.

Just another fantasy story that I thought deserved to be shared on the blog! 🙂

So Long on the Edge of Orgasm
by: CagedMonkey

I’ve never been more sexually tortured in my entire life.

For the past God-knows-how-long…. hours?… I’ve been locked on all fours in the stockade while the fucking machine s l o w l y stroked my cock, driving me crazy and keeping me on edge but not quite giving me enough stimulation to cum. My body trembles as my hips try in vain to thrust forward to get the stimulation I need, but the waist pad holds me snugly in place. I can’t move my hips an inch forward, or even backward to escape the constant stimulation. At this moment, I’m not even sure if I want the machine to make me cum or just stop stroking me and stop the torture. The one thing that is certain is I won’t get either option.

I’ve been here for so long on the edge of orgasm, and the tension has tired me so much that I’m nearly falling asleep from fatigue. Only the machine won’t let me rest, the torment doesn’t stop. Every time my brain tried to turn off, it snaps back to its incredible need for release.

Suddenly, I’m jolted fully awake by the sound of the collar of the stockade being unlocked. I know what this means, you’ve done this before. Some of the times you’ve woken up to apply lube to the fleshlight, you simply masturbate yourself to sleep. I’m forced to listen to your moans of pleasure, unable to see you because the collar prevents me from turning my head or looking up at the bed. Those times you leave me locked where I am, barely speaking to me as you make it possible to continue my ordeal.

This time, I know you want more. Unlocking the collar means you want me to move my head. You stand in front of me, holding your pussy in front of my face. I need no further instructions. I begin licking you, tasting your dripping wet pussy as you rub it all over my face. You grab my head and pull me into your pussy further, grinding your hips against me. Then I feel something different, something that hasn’t happened during the other times you’ve used my face to get off.

The machine has begun moving faster.

I moan loudly into your pussy, gasping between licks as the machine strokes me faster. I want to push against the machine, thrusting harder as it drains the cum from my tortured body. My breath quickens as I realize the machine is going to make me….

… the machine stops, just moments before I cum.

I groan in frustration, vibrating your horny pussy and triggering a deep orgasm in you. Your hips grind against my face as I sob into your pussy, wishing that you would end this horrible/incredible experience, one way or another. But I feel you applying the lube once again, and the machine begins stroking me once again, even slower than before. You kiss me on the cheek as you lock the collar shut once again.

“Enjoy,” you whisper before you climb up on the bed and leave me on the floor again. Soon, I hear your soft moans as the bed begins to squeak; I moan and sob quietly as you rub yourself to sleep once again, leaving me only to endure until you decide I’ve had enough…

Since giving my girlie sub,Lizzy the task of looking up predicament bondage she’s started to fantasize about it. One of my subs requirements is to share their fantasies with me. This is one that got me extremely hot, including the aftercare, so, I had to share it here!

Here is her story: Deep Breaths

Deep breaths, I tell myself, deep steady breaths. My legs are tied together, rotated so the tops of my feet are touching. I hold them in the air, unaided, barely keeping them up high enough so the strings attached to my ankles don’t pull on the nipple clamps they’re attached to. My core burns, pulling pathetic whimpers from my throat. I am thankful for the bar I can rest my legs on, just low enough to painfully pull on my nipples but high enough so if my legs give out, I don’t seriously hurt myself. I decide to lower my legs. With a loud groan and a high pitched squeal, I rest my core but stretch my nipples a good inch or two. My chest heaves with my breath as I try to adjust.

My arms begin to shake above my head. They’re tied together and connected to a counter weight, so if I lower them the dildo right above my mouth will lower into the O-ring holding my mouth open and choke me. A small sob escapes me as the dildo falls with my arms. My muscles may get a break, but I don’t.

“You’ve gotten a lot stronger since we started doing this,” My Lady remarks conversationally from her chair next to me. The only response I can give is a strained, choked, muffled wail. She laughs lightly as she rises. “You know, you’ve done so well today, keeping yourself taut for so long, I think you deserve a reward.”

She moves behind my legs where trying to look at her is a horrid strain on my eyes. I just stare at the ceiling instead, waiting. “You’ll only get your reward if you keep your legs and arms up though,” the condition is delivered in her happy singsong voice. I try to say, “Yes Ma’am,” but what comes out is more of a guttural noise than anything else. Obediently, I lift my legs and arms back up despite my screaming muscles. That’s when I hear the sound of the Hitachi. I am more motivated to keep myself taught than ever in this moment. It has been a month since my last orgasm and I will do almost anything to earn one.

When the vibrator touches me I can’t stop the screams and pleads flying from my throat, scrambled and turned into senseless noise by the gag. My legs fall for a moment, pulling my nipples suddenly and causing the vibrator to be removed. Almost sobbing, I pull my legs back into the air, praying for the strength to keep them aloft. The vibrator returns, only this time with a sleeve. The attachment slips into my vagina and presses against my g-spot and clit. Bucking and thrashing, I struggle to keep my limbs up. I want this so bad. I NEED this! I scream in my head.

Somehow, despite myself, despite the burning pain in my body, I last. Somehow, I make it to screaming orgasm. Lights flash behind my eyes and I feel liquid gushing from me. The vibrator remains on and in me for a minute after I am finished, My Lady chuckling as I twitch around it and fall limp. I feel like my limbs are made of lead and I’m flying far away from my body. All too soon, the climb to orgasm begins again, forcing me to lift my legs for better access and pleasure. Right before I hit another, the vibrator is taken away. “Don’t get greedy now sweet little thing,” I swear I can hear her smile in her words. Without stimulation, I fall limp again, feeling like a rag doll. As I faintly feel fingers untying the ropes around my ankles, I close my eyes and allow myself to rest.

The pain of removing the clamps brings me back to myself with a short shout and fast whimpers. The dildo already gone, my arms untied, my legs resting on the floor, the only thing left was the gag. It left my mouth with trails of saliva clinging to it. My head is pulled into My Lady’s lap and I instinctually move to please her. Confusion muddied my cloudy mind as she told me no and moved my face away to rest on her thigh. Have I done something wrong? I speculate as I turn to look up at her. I love to please her, to make her cum. I couldn’t fathom why she’d stop me.
“You are much too tired. Rest sweet girl, you can thank me later,” she softly explains, stroking my hair. I nod weakly, my head barely moving. We sit there for a while, silent. With a kiss to my forehead, she pulls a pillow under my head as she rises. The way she looked there, the light behind her head like a halo, she looked like a Goddess. “Be right back,” reassures the Goddess above me. Smiling, I give another incremental nod and close my eyes, slipping into sleep.

She returns with water and chocolate. “Do you want some water?” she asks, sitting next to me again. I open my mouth and give a soft “Ahh,” prompting a giggle from her. A straw is placed on my lips and I drink my fill. Water runs in the background. I perk up slightly, glancing between My Lady and the doorway. “I thought after all that you could use a bath,” she explains, rubbing my side and back gently, “A nice warm bath sound okay?” I smile dopily at her. I am loved, warm, and safe and cared for.

I can’t wait to repay her.

Thank you my sweet Lizzy girl for the amazing story and for being such a good girl sharing it with me and ultimately our readers. 🙂

I could write out some long descriptive post about what this is but it’s been done so I will mostly borrow the words written on the Predicament Bondage Wiki page. If you want a little more information or read into the different uses you could check there. I plan to only talk about the bits of predicament bondage that intrigue me. Perhaps as I do more of my own research I’ll get more interested in other uses – you know how research and time tend to expand my interests a bit once fantasy gets involved.

So, one of the reasons this came up is because both hubby and my girlie sub Lizzy are kinda the same. They both have a thing with being put into difficult situations. So I had both of them do some research on different types of predicament bondage. Lizzy was to look up the general sense and cagedmonkey was to look up Asymmetrical Bondage. Both of which put your sub in a difficult position.

So what exactly is Predicament Bondage? Predicament bondage is the art of restraining a person in such a way that there is a limited number of positions in which they can be, each of which are so uncomfortable that they are forced to shift their weight or position. Upon doing so, they place themselves in another equally uncomfortable position. It basically causes a sub to have to choose or alternate between the two positions, each of which carry their own pain. The default position is typically intended to cause muscle fatigue, such as standing on tiptoe. If they get too fatigued they have another option to choose which is usually a more physically painful position, for example letting themselves lower their weight and stand regularly while forcing a rope attached to their genitals to pull taut and cause pain.

One of the intriguing parts of predicament bondage is how it could be used in orgasm denial. Imagine hearing your dominant say, “you can cum but you’ll have to move up on to your tip toes to position the wand correctly and as you do that the rope will cause pain to your nipples.” Or something to that effect anyway. After being denied for days, weeks, months, are you willing to cause yourself pain to have that desperately wanted orgasm?

The sadistic side of me gets such a thrill thinking about watching someone try that. Giggling as I hear them grunt and moan. Agonizing over the decision. Such sadistic fun! 🙂

Another interesting but type of bondage is asymmetrical bondage which is more about causing a submissive’s body to become confused and off balance. It is when the body is bound in an asymmetric way, as in one leg bound bent up and the other straight. There isn’t a whole lot out there on this, that we’ve found, but we at least get the idea. When you bind the body in this way it throws the brain off since most of your body moves or works in symmetry. It’s an interesting concept anyway and we are still looking into it more and more.