emotions

All posts tagged emotions

Recently, cagedmonkey and I ended up with some extremely rare alone time and we got in some playtime. We’ve needed this time together for awhile since we moved and it just happened to work out that we got it. We both wanted to take a few minutes to explain why this time is important to us as a kinky couple as well as for each of us emotionally. It actually might help others understand why the like to do some of the things they like to do sexually. A lot of times it comes down to healing from our past. Please understand we are not professionals, we have never claimed to be, we simply have worked hard on ourselves and our relationship over the years and have learned a lot. We love to share our thoughts and views on things in hopes that it might help someone out on their journey!

In therapy there is something called “Act it Out” exercises. We have never actively done this kind of therapy but we have read about it in the past couple years and discussed it’s benefits with our therapist. Cagedmonkey and I have realized how helpful this kind of therapy can be for people who have had childhood trauma and/or abuse in whatever form. There are so many ways a kid can be screwed up by things, whether it’s physical or emotional. Most of the time, abuse survivors will hold back, hide, fear expressing their feelings or being themselves and sometimes even end up losing relationships in their lives that are important because they don’t know how to show who they really are. There are therapists out there who incorporate acting exercises into therapy sessions to help abuse survivors to come out from behind the curtain and face their fears and their feelings. That’s the simple version of it because I don’t want to turn this post into a REALLY long post on psychology. As always, if you want to know more about “Act it Out” exercises please do some googling! 🙂

I’m sure you can imagine how the whole “Act it Out” thing comes in handy in a kinky relationship. It addresses all those sexual feelings we may feel embarrassed by or afraid to admit, even to ourselves. Having a safe partner to act things out with is crucial. Whether you have a trusted sex therapist to talk to about these things or just awesome communication with your partner – either way gives you the release you may need, to work through some of the bottled up feelings and fears you have hidden away inside.

He Said: Some people might think it’s kind of crazy, how ML and I use our “mental issues” and our traumatizing pasts as part of our sex lives. I wouldn’t suggest just anyone trying it; ML and I wouldn’t go this deep without having really strong communication between us, otherwise the potential for hurting each other would be too great.

My Lady can explain to you how I fit her needs better than I can, but I’ll just say that I take great pleasure in being what she needs. As for my needs being filled, ML represents a way for me to make up for past mistakes.

To give enough background for this without getting too deep or wordy, I’ll start by saying that I spent a good part of my childhood getting away with things. I was a “mama’s boy” and the youngest in my family, which basically meant I was able to do whatever I wanted without worrying about the consequences. It’s a good thing I wasn’t too much out of control, otherwise I could have ended up in some real bad situations.

Anyway, the kink that ML and I share gives me a chance to make up for the discipline I missed. She is the firm, demanding, “mother-like” figure I needed as a child, only now she uses her control in a sexual manner.

It sounds totally fucked up… and maybe it is. Maybe it’s crazy for ML to take her anger against men out on me, or for me to look to her to make me pay for mistakes I made years ago. But we both know that it is a safe way for us to work through our issues and heal old wounds and have some damn good sex at the same time. The mental/emotional connection that we have during it makes everything so intense and amazing.

 

She Said: I’ll take a minute to get a little personal with you all to help you understand why this Domme/sub relationship we have and the things we do are so incredibly helpful for me. When I was a kid I was always put down, told I was not good enough and that I would never have anything good because I didn’t act a certain way or look a certain way. On top of that I was sexually abused as a young child so I’m sure you can imagine the demons I have hiding inside of me. I have found during this journey with my wonderful, amazing husband that I need the man that he is. I need a man who is a MAN, who can show me how he loves me for who I am and how I am and how I look. I also need a man who is willing to submit to me and let me control, at times, even the little things. I was made to feel so worthless and pointless as a kid and teenager, not to mention completely helpless by an older man. Now I get to face the fear that those things are really true about me and I get to use the kink that I enjoy to help me dig through the baggage I carry from childhood.

When I am dominating my hubby and controlling him I feel like I am being listened to. When I tell him (politely yet demanding) to do something and he says “Yes, ma’am,” I feel important and worthwhile. I feel like I have something to give, like what I say and do means something. When I control him, even the little things, it makes me feel more powerful than that little girl who sat there being told she would never amount to anything because she wasn’t pretty enough or thin enough. I feel more powerful than the child who was beaten because she “couldn’t do anything right,” because she “didn’t clean that right,” and would never get a husband because she’s “too fat.” Yes, seriously I was told those things and so many other horrible things you may wonder why in the fuck I even still talk to my mother. After the welts she left on my back from not doing things just the way she wanted them done.

This is sexual side of things makes me feel even more powerful. After feeling so completely helpless as a child by this older man in my life, you can only imagine the feelings I have and the emotions inside that come from dominating a man sexually. How it feels to force HIM to do things he maybe doesn’t want to do, to force HIM to take what I give him and make HIM feel completely helpless because of me. I get off so very much on feeling that power, of making him take things from me and causing that reaction in him. Those moans, those whimpers and the begging and pleading with me, the one who is controlling his pain or his pleasure. It’s ME who’s got this big strong man where I want him forcing him to endure whatever I want because in that moment, I’m the stronger one. I’m the more powerful one. Perhaps not physically stronger but mentally and emotionally, I’m the one with all the power. I say what happens and when it stops. It fuels me and gives me back what was ripped from away from me as a child. My identity, my life, taken away when I was so small. In those few moments when I’m grabbing my husbands throat and making him do what I want, or making him feel what I want him to feel, it gives me back the power of myself.

 

I hope by both of us writing this out for you guys helps you get to know us a little bit better and helps you when you worry about some of the things you may like sexually. It’s ok to like them and it’s perfectly fine to Act it Out with someone safe!

Cagedmonkey and I don’t normally talk about the specifics when we bring up how important communication is in a relationship. I just wanted to describe one thing that he and I both say often because we remember what it felt like, up until 2 years ago (this month), when we fixed this whole union.

We often say things like “I’m so glad I can say (sexual) things like that to you now” or “I’m so happy we can show each other how horny we are for each other now” or “I’m so grateful we went through all that to be where we are now.” It’s not bringing up the past, it’s not resentment, it’s quite simply appreciation for the mess that our relationship was and the work we went through for the past two years – and will continue to go through – to clean up the mess, the fear, the anger and the resentments.

It’s almost liberating and makes us feel so good to say “thank God we went through that” so we know it is a place neither of us wants to be again. Sometimes old feelings come up, past behaviors or situations and each of us has gotten anxious at one time or another. The difference now is, right away, we speak up and take care of the worry. We both love where our intimacy is, we love loving each other and we aren’t taking that for granted anymore!

Communication truly is an amazing thing! If I can offer one bit of advice to anyone it would be to be honest with your spouse about your feelings, wants and desires. Even if you don’t understand them or why you are feeling them. Just get them out there because NO one knows what you’re feeling or how to support you if you don’t tell them.

Today was supposed to be cagedmonkey’s surgery, for the second time. If you’ve been reading you know how that turned out. A lot has happened this week, actually a lot has happened to us in the past two weeks, some good, some bad. We’ve actually managed to get in a little play and sexy teasy time even though, emotionally, things have been up and down.

It all started with finding out cagedmonkey had ridiculously high blood pressure and him ending up in the emergency room. Since that time we’ve cancelled and rescheduled and cancelled his surgery again. We’ve had him at the cardiologist, started him on two meds and scheduled him for loads of testing to try to find out the cause of his high blood pressure. Wish us luck there, the doctors are semi confused!

We’ve had to put our almost 15 year old cat to sleep. She was an amazing girl. CM found her when she was 3 weeks old, half dead, behind his work. He brought her home to me and when we took her to the vet we were told, “don’t get too attached, there’s no way she’s going to make it!” I nursed her back to health and Ha! She proved them wrong and lived a long healthy 15 years. Nah nah! She was our first “baby,” together so it’s been pretty hard on both of us. I’m so happy that cagedmonkey got to hold her and tell her we loved her as she drifted off to heaven.
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Now, not only did we experience disappointment and heartache, we did get some happy moments! We got to take care of hubby’s blood pressure so he didn’t have a stroke on the operating table. He started meds which seem to really be helping his blood pressure and his numbers are looking way better! We also got to celebrate our little guy’s 7th birthday yesterday. It turned out to be an awesome day for all of us. We had fun birthday shopping, having dinner and some frozen yogurt. After such a long day the kids even decided to hold off on birthday cake until today so we still get a little more celebration tonight!

I’ve written before about the “roller coaster of life” and this is just more on that bumpy road. Life has ups and downs, sometimes for us, those all cram themselves into a very short time but we survive and come out stronger on the other side. And now this weekend (our weekend is Sunday/Monday) cagedmonkey and I hope to get in some playtime. I must say I’m absolutely loving how touchy-feely, crazy-for-me, horny hubby is. I’m walking around with super wet panties because he can’t keep his hands off of me. I love hearing how horny he is, how bad he needs and wants to cum, how he wishes he could drop to his knees and please me! Mmm, deliciousness!

I just want to thank the “Chastity Gods” that found a way to bring this into our lives because without it, I think, we both would fall into a depression, our intimacy would suffer and ultimately our lacking sex life would cause huge amounts of resentment in our relationship – oh wait, been there and done that! Yeah… I’m so glad we found this amazing way to keep things fresh and hot, even during these emotional roller coaster rides that we certainly did not get in line for!

I was a little disappointed with how our lost weekend went. I was really looking forward to having every aspect of my life controlled by ML (at least, what was possible, due to child interruptions). Work stuff doesn’t usually affect me at home, as I’m usually good with “leaving it at the office,” but this ended up being a particularly bad day.

One thing I will say is that the bits of control that we were able to do really comforted me and calmed me down. It wasn’t so much a sexual thing because my horny had been ruined by “dude’s bleeding to death” as ML put it. I can’t even really describe it all that well. Wearing the collar, serving My Lady, and following her instructions… it all just made me feel at peace.

I think it’s because that’s who I really am at heart. I really was made to be ML’s subby hubby, and nothing makes me feel better than filling that role. When I’m submitting to her, I feel like I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. And although it might not fix everything about a bad day, it will always be that bright spot in my life that I can turn to.

The word comes with such a negative connotation attached – objectification. You know what they say: Sexual attraction is superficial, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Love is emotional, it doesn’t require physical chemistry.

With all due respect to whoever agrees with this… are you fucking crazy?

Before we even began living our current chastity lifestyle, My Lady and I made a decision to take steps to improve our marriage. One of those steps included acknowledging that it’s okay for us to be hot and horny for each other. We both agreed that physical intimacy is pretty much a requirement in a healthy marriage, not just a fringe benefit. As part of this acknowledgement, we realized that it’s okay for each of us to see the other as what most people wold consider calling “sex objects.” I’ll explain.

I love my wife with all my heart. She is a wonderful, beautiful person who just gets me on an unspoken emotional and spiritual level. Having her in my life has allowed me to grow in ways I never thought I could. She is the best mother I could ever hope my children would have, and she does the most amazing things for my family.

With all of that said… she has a great set of tits and a sexy fucking ass that makes me drool. 🙂

But here’s my point – the fact that I check out her ass every time she leaves the room, or fantasize about fucking her huge titties whenever I see her cleavage, doesn’t take away from the fact that I love her soul. It only enhances it. It’s not like I have a certain amount of “love points” that I have to distribute between caring for my wife as a person and wanting to pound her pussy until she can’t walk straight. It’s another dimension of my love for her.

The reason I bring this up is that I had to remind ML about this the other day. We’ve been going through an awesome emotional connection time lately, where everything just feels perfect. We can feel the energy between us even when we are just sitting in the same room together. But I noticed that over the last few days, ML seemed to be over-accentuating our emotional connection. I asked her why that was.

She responded by telling me that she was having strong fantasies about tying me up and teasing me, feeling my cock struggle in the cage, and control me sexually in every way. Um…. so what’s the problem? (Hehe). She was trying to balance out those feelings of objectifying me with emotional rationalization. She explained it best with this text message, after I asked her why she wasn’t telling me about these thoughts:

Sometimes I feel like that’s all I’m telling you.. it’s true but I don’t want you to feel like I’m objectifying you constantly.

That’s so sweet of her. 🙂

The thing is, though, that I enjoy being objectified by her. Not all the time of course… I do need emotional support from my wife, as well. But it makes me feel good to know that sometimes she just can’t help but get turned on when thinking off me in a sexual way. In short, I like knowing that I make her pussy wet. [pic, for those of you who are into that sort of thing] 😉

My Lady has had some emotional troubles lately, as women have been known to do during that time of the month (AMMIRITE GUYS?!? *crickets*….. what?). She’s worried about doing the wrong thing and driving me away from her. Considering the staggering amount of loss she has had to deal with over the past six months, you can’t blame her for expecting it to continue. And it’s very important that I tell her this one thing:

Quit worrying about stupid shit. 🙂

Ok, calm down everyone, that’s a joke. I’m not that big of an ass. My point is that she doesn’t have to worry about doing something to push me away, because everything she does lately only brings us closer together.

Putting all the sexual stuff side (briefly; this isn’t going to be a 100% gooey emotional post, I promise), she is a wonderful wife and mother. She takes care of our family like nobody else could. She helps me feel better after a really bad day at work. She handles the kids so much better than I do. She really is the glue that holds us all together. I couldn’t ask for anything more from her.

Speaking of asking for things from her (now it’s time for the sexual stuff)… I know that, from time to time, she worries about whether or not she’s doing the right thing with our chastity/OD lifestyle. She’s afraid of me resenting her for withholding my orgasms from me. But when she locks my cock in a cage, teases me until I’m on the edge of tears, and doesn’t let me cum for weeks on end, it just gets me more hooked on her. I don’t get upset about it; I feel I should be thanking her instead!

You know, it’s funny how our brains are on the same wavelength so often. Just the other day, I was talking to someone about how happy I am with my life. I didn’t get into details because this person hasn’t been read in on the “secret lives” we live, but the feeling also applies to my sex life – it’s the best it has ever been, EVER.

Over a year ago, I asked ML for this life – for her to control my entire sexuality. I wanted this. And, to be honest, it’s been more amazing than I could ever fantasize about, because I’m living it with the woman I love. I love what she does, and I love that she gets off on it, too! Anything and everything she does makes me want her even more.

Ok, so this pretty much was a gooey emotional post, but I couldn’t help it. 🙂

The other night cagedmonkey and I had an unexpected Switch night. I’m sure you want me to get into and describe all the forced cock sucking till my eyes watered, hair pulling, spanking, deep ass fucking till I was thanking him and asking for it harder, deeper and faster but really I’m going to gloss over that. 🙂 Awww, sorry, don’t cry too much. Maybe cagedmonkey will post again later with more thoughts and descriptions of how he bent me over and fucked me like a little slut. However, I’m just going to mention what a fantastic boy I have who, even in a switch, ultimately followed his Lady’s rules and did NOT have an orgasm. Ahhh, such a good boy!

Our switch happened only a very short time before hubby had to head out the door to work. When I say a short time, it actually means he left about 5 mins late because he was busy with his dick shoved deep in my ass instead of getting dressed. What that means is that I got fucked and called a slut and then he got up, got dressed and left. No time for aftercare – which neither one of us thought about what-so-ever.

About 30 mins after he left… I felt it. I felt that familiar, “oh fuck I’m sinking” feeling. My shoulders dropped and rolled forward, my head tilted down and my smile faded. I could feel my body and my emotions slipping. The amazing amount of horny I had in me was flowing right out of me. Awwww crap! I texted him and told him what was happening. The exchange went like this:

Me: I can feel myself slipping. I can feel that I’m getting emotional.

Him: I’m sorry baby, I’m here when you need to talk.

Me: I’ll be ok, I can just feel it happening, starting to feel that depression feeling. I feel like I could just cry at any second. Keep thinking about my dad and I’m lonely.

**a few minutes pass – he is at work after all*

Him: OH FUCK!
Him: DAMN IT!
Him: I’m such an asshole
Him: I’m so sorry baby!

Me: WTF? Are you sorry for, what did you do now?

Him: I didn’t give you aftercare

BOOM! There it was… I didn’t get my aftercare. Mind you it was never a thought in my mind to have it. I’m a big bad dominant woman, I don’t need that shit! HA! I found out that even the big bad dominant needs, even just a little, aftercare sometimes. Especially after a switch when the roles are touching on the emotions and pains from childhood. I never even realized I would need that. Like I said, I’m me, I’m the one in control… yeah, sometimes my emotions have control over me.

The past few days have been a bit down, a bit off, a bit depressed and a lot NOT horny. I’ve been crying off an on, thinking about the fact that I lost 6 members of my family in the past 6 months. It would have been my father’s birthday on Tuesday, my Aunt’s was a few days ago, the holidays are coming up. I got feeling of worthlessness, sadness, loneliness and a bunch of other ‘ness’s. It hasn’t been a fun couple days.

This morning I was feeling a bit better and gave myself a boost by giving cagedmonkey some delicious nipple torture and got my pussy quivering. 🙂 Yeah… it’s that easy. A little nipple pain, some yummy whimpering and it kicks my horny back in. I’m by no means back where I was but, tonight is date night… haha I’m sure I’ll get my fill of making his nipples good and sore tonight.

In a way men have it easy when it comes to emotions… they are simple minded and I definitely mean that as a compliment. It’s so complicated being a woman and being emotionally and hormonally driven. Women have to over-think everything and talk the hell out of something. Many times a guy just takes things as they are and goes with it and accepts it… they aren’t sitting there reading into or analyzing this, that or the other thing. It’s so annoying sometimes being a woman.

I’m guilty of this as I’m sure a few women are:
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We have to go an over think things and create stuff in our heads we’re getting upset over when there was nothing even remotely close to that to begin with. Really, he just hit a couple extra traffic lights on the way home, chill out!

Let’s think of it this way, a wife does something that hurts her husband. She realizes she was hurtful, apologizes, he accepts the apology and he never thinks of it again. Done, overwith in his mind, yay!

Now, a guy does something that hurts his wife. Remember a woman is emotionally and hormonally charged, so her husband may realize his part in it and apologize, great! Yeah it’s not over yet! A woman may continue to analyze, relive it over and over again in her head and try to figure it out. It lingers there, eating away at her unless every angle her mind is coming up with is addressed.
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So I made this analogy the other day to describe the way a wife’s mind may handle a situation. Yeah, I can get confusing sometimes but hopefully you get my point here. This comes out of my mouth much better in conversation. Ok I imagine you have an area rug over your hardwood floor. The “something” that was done is sitting there on top. An apology busts it into a bunch of pieces, yay! Now all we need to do is get a garbage bag and pick everything we can up off the rug. The mess is cleaned up, right?

NOT!

As a woman we know there are smaller bits that couldn’t get picked up by hand and they are then swept under that rug. We know, over time, that walking on that rug will eventually move those bits out from under the rug… great more of the same shit needs to be cleaned up. Some women are able to communicate that these feelings of hurt are creeping back up again to bother her and a husband can then apologize again or reassure her. Fantastic, now we’ve gotten out the vacuum cleaner and sucked up those remaining bits. Now it’s done, right?

NOT!

Now using the vacuum has sucked up those left over tiny bits that were swept under the rug but in the meantime has spread microscopic dust particles of hurt into the air. What will eventually happen over time is every so often a dust particle will land on a woman’s emotions. It will give that twinge of hurt again. So you see, that one hurt can linger for a woman until you’ve gotten out the air purifier and rid her of every single dust particle.

A hurt women will need to be told and shown, likely multiple times over a period of time, that her hubby is sorry for the same transgression. A woman will likely need to be reminded of how sorry her hubby is for that hurt. Look at it this way… if you manage to get through the vacuuming it’s a hubby’s job to then keep spraying the Endust or Pledge to keep the dust from settling.

I guess what I’m trying to say is… don’t hurt your wife because it’s a hell of a lot more work and time to “apologize” than its worth. One single hurt can turn into years of this roller coaster. Some couples never make it back to the station together, they unbuckle their lap belts and just jump out. Or, if they do make it back, they hold onto those screams that should have come out on the loop-the-loop and they turn into resentment… then have you really made it back at all?

Remember, if you hurt your wife, you’ve just gotten on one hell of a roller coaster ride and because she’s worth it (or you probably wouldn’t have married her) you’ll hold on for dear life and do everything she needs to purify the air.

***please note: I’m not a professional, my ramblings do not necessarily represent every woman or situation… it’s just my opinion and experience as a woman and knowing women.

cagedmonkey: You hear stories here and there about guys who are locked in chastity long term, how they get so frustrated that they break down in tears. Yeah, right, I thought. I might get a little desperate, but it’s not going to be so bad to make me start crying. Well, I must admit that I was wayyyyyyy wrong.

ML called an audible today and deviated from her “progression plan” and instead left me unlocked for a good portion of the day. No rest for the weary, however; she stopped me multiple times during the day and told me to go somewhere private and stroke myself for the four minutes that her plan called for, obviously no cumming but also no stopping during those four minutes. Sometimes she would come and watch me if the kids were occupied, otherwise I was on the honor system. I somehow managed to keep my honor intact throughout all of this, but it really frustrated me deeply.

My body just did not want to accept that, even though I was going through all of the familiar motions of masturbation that had been so habitual in the past, I would not be experiencing the slowly-becoming-unfamiliar climax. It was difficult to refrain from cheating. SERIOUSLY. I wanted to cum. I needed to cum. And I was doing the one thing that my body was so used to doing in order to cum. But I wasn’t going to cum.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If this happened once, it would have been bad enough. This happened at least six times during the day. I was a puddle of frustrated goo when ML instructed me to put the Jailbird back on. Once my cage was back on, she straddled me and began to rub her wet pussy against the imprisoned cock. She began to moan louder and louder, and I knew she was about to cum.

Then I completely lost it.

I began squirming and whimpering; it felt like she was taking my orgasm away from me (which was incorrect… she always owned it from the beginning). She leaned in close and asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t cum. I did the only thing I could do. I started to cry. ML looked down and saw me sobbing, and something must have flipped a switch inside her because she immediately stood up and SHOVED her soaked pussy into my face. She covered my whole face with her pussy lips. I continued to whimper and cry, only this time right into her pussy. Amazingly, this triggered a HUGE orgasm for ML; she humped against me even harder, looking into my troubled eyes and taking every ounce of pleasure I could hope for and used it for herself. I could feel myself breaking, and she was playing with the pieces and having the time of her life.

As she came down, she could see that I was really in trouble. She looked at me with love and tenderness, and she asked me the perfect question for the situation: she asked if I needed to use my safeword. She did care, she was concerned that I was okay. And I was SOOOOO tempted to use it. I even asked her to promise that if I said it that I could cum, and she agreed. But I didn’t use it – I wasn’t in danger, I wasn’t in unbearable pain, I wasn’t scared or any of the other reasons I told myself I would only use my safeword for. My torment was not to end tonight.

My Lady was wonderful. She held me tight for some sweet aftercare. Then, I suddenly got this urge, this unyielding urge to service her. I gently pushed her back and began to lick her pussy like a madman, rubbing my tongue and chin all over her dripping pussy. She moaned and writhed on the couch as she came hard, but I wasn’t done and neither was she. She took my hand and guided it to her pussy, and I slid two fingers deep inside her. She gasped as a wave of pleasure hit her. I used my fingers on her firmly, but not roughly, and extremely deep. After just a few seconds, she thrusted her hips as high as she could off the couch and let out a powerful grunt. She was cumming harder than I had ever seen her cum before, and it wasn’t stopping. Her hips met the couch again, but her body continues to shake as the massive orgasm plowed through her body. Her attempts to keep quiet began to fail as her moans grew louder and louder until they blended together into a high pitched squeal. My God, I was in heaven. If I couldn’t cum, at least I could experience taking a part of giving My Lady an orgasm that was more than big enough for the both of us.

When she finally collapsed into the couch, she was exhausted. We looked at each other with amazement. What the fuck??? Did ML just have the best orgasm of her life because she made me break down and cry in frustration? It was undeniable – she got off on my suffering.

It was an incredible night, like nothing I had ever experienced before. Maybe Day cannot get here fast enough. I am still in dire need of an orgasm. My suffering gets worse every day as My Lady enjoys the control she wields over it. This is what I asked for. This is what the fantasy of enforced chastity is all about. And I wouldn’t change a damn thing. Because I know when I finally am allowed to have an orgasm, it will not be a decision that My Lady will take lightly. I will be truly deserving of such a gift.

Read Part 2 of He Said, She Said: The Breaking Point to experience it from ML’s point of view!

Lady M: I’m sure you’ve already read Cagedmonkey’s take on last night in the Part 1 post. Wow! Last night was something else! Cagedmonkey and I got the kids to bed and relaxed a little watching some How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. I just loved cuddling on the couch with his arm across my chest. It makes me feel so safe, so comfortable and so loved. <3

I'm not going to repeat everything he wrote so I'll jump to the part where I was straddling him on the couch. After teasing him so much all day long he was already gasping as I lifted a leg to sit on him. I started to circle my hips, rubbing my pussy over his caged cock and he was moaning and started those super hot whimpering sounds. It was absolutely driving me mad in the pit of my stomach and I could feel my pussy juices gushing out between my freshly shaved lips. I was feeling it so deep that I couldn't help myself and I stood up on the couch and started fucking his face right into the back of the couch. I pushed my hips forward hard over and over smashing his nose into my clit forcing my juices into his mouth as I came so fucking hard. Hearing him moan, whimper and even sobbing with his face buried in my pussy was overwhelmingly arousing. I completely loved feeling and hearing him get to his breaking point. Knowing he was there only fueled my desire to fuck his face more and I kept going, kept pushing him past his breaking point.

What an incredible feeling! Though even with my euphoric feelings I could see that my poor cagedmonkey was really in distress. I had to do the right thing. I had to ask if he needed his safeword. I assured him I would not be disappointed if he used it. I assured him that I would respect his decision, he needs to feel safe and know he can trust me. The guy has not only been denied orgasm for almost 3 months but daily he has had to deal with my relentless teasing and sometimes very very very intense teasing. I've discovered recently that I am a very intense person to handle, I'm aggressive and I do not have a "light" version when it comes to cagedmonkey. I'm lucky to have a man who is able to handle such an aggressive cock tease. He did choose not to use his safeword and I did have a feeling of pride for him because he wasn't in danger or anything like that. Just emotionally crushed.

Once he was able to calm down, I held him for a bit, comforting him with his head on my chest (something else that turns me on!). Just rubbing his head, telling him I loved him, that he could do this, and that he was so strong etc. As I talked to him he began to sob more as he shoved his face into my chest trying to hide the fact that I had tortured him to tears. I just let him know he was safe and it was ok to let it out. I love him so incredibly much and he needs to know he is loved, cared for and respected.

I'm not sure if it was him feeling that love and feeling cared for but he suddenly pushed made back on to the couch and dove into my pussy. He was rubbing his face in it, licking, sucking, moaning, whimpering, gasping for air and good Lord turning me on even more. I just had to have more orgasms. I just had to feel it again… but this time, I don't know, I was extremely turned on by his emotional state that I had one of the most powerful orgasms I've ever had. I bucked my hips toward the ceiling, my entire body was shaking, my thighs squeezed tightly around his head and I exploded a big gush of gooey cum from my pussy.

It was a fucking incredible orgasm! I literally couldn't walk straight after. I was stumbling and couldn't focus, it was a drunk feeling. I could barely speak even. Just an intense, intense orgasm. 😀

I thoroughly love having my husband in chastity & being in control of his orgasms because our sex life is no longer focused on him getting off. It's no longer focused on the vaginal sex. Our sex life has evolved into a much greater physical and emotional thing. An all over mind and body experience!

Something I wish I could explain well enough or even compare to something so others could get even a small idea of what this feels like.