The longest we’ve made it in tease and denial is one month in our 14 years together and I just have to ask myself why? Cagedmonkey has been denied orgasm for 3 weeks now. This is the third or fourth time, since we got into this whole chastity thing, where we’ve gotten to the 3-4 week mark. I realized something last night as we were having a little sexy sex time.
Yesterday morning was a particularly mind fucking morning. I just love tucking hubby in and whispering all kinds of crazy, dirty, naughty things in his ear while I grind on him and have an orgasm. It really just drives him completely bonkers. What was worse yesterday morning was that I unlocked him, rubbed my wet pussy on his ass while I held his rock hard erection in my hand against the bed. I did those little teases often throughout the day yesterday, even used his cock a few times and then by last night he’s was highly hair trigger aroused. So much so that he could barely look me in the eye without almost cumming. Let alone moving while his cock was in my pussy.
I could see in his face how truly and completely frustrated he was, it looked almost painful. That’s when I started to notice my Dominant Keyholder feelings going from “haha this is funny” to “oh no my poor baby” and feeling bad and sorry for cagedmonkey. I kept thinking to myself maybe I should just let him cum. That was exactly when I realized THAT is the whole reason we don’t make it past a month. I start to see the real, not funny anymore frustration and my brain automatically wants to switch to “making him feel better” mode.
The best part about this whole chastity thing is that our communication is super fantastic. So last night I needed to have a conversation with hubby about this. When we first started out we had to work together just to get past the first couple days and then weeks but after talking last night we realized we are at a spot where we need to work together again to get over this hurdle.
We talked about what I felt I needed to be ok with pushing him further. Obviously I’m having emotional/psychological issues with it. We came to the conclusion that, not during teasing or denial, but after I really need to hear that he actually likes that I denied him. I need praise and encouragement to know that I’m not really hurting him or doing something that will cause him to resent me or have anger toward me. I know I have some abandonment issues so that helps when we are trying to figure out what I need. I need to know that deep down he IS enjoying our play and what I put him through (or at least loves to hate it and wants to not want it haha) and that I’m not going to push him away and make him leave me. Yes, to the “normals” that might sound crazy but buried somewhere in my brain that is the root of my loss of confidence.
I’m just glad we can talk and work these things out to make our game the most fun it can be. Communication is key in any relationship but even more so in chastity, tease and denial our any kinky relationship.