I used to have this whole thing about wanting to be the one who worked and my hubby would stay home and be the house husband. That has since changed and I’ve become a hell of a lot more realistic about my life. I realized I should be the mom, the one to stay home and be with the kids. That’s what I did for 12 years and I have loved every minute if it. I wouldn’t change it. It was what was supposed to be. 

However, let me tell you about a time when I was younger and I thought, the only way I could keep a guy was to be the one who worked and supported us and he got to do whatever he wanted. Staying home, getting sex, etc. I thought, how could I guy ever leave a woman who gives him such freedom? Well when I was young I thought, I’d just keep a guy locked up in my house, all for me, for when I wanted him. 

Well yesterday, was an interesting day, I had to work and hubby was off work. Normally on his days off I would be home and we’d play or have sex all day or something but not this time. This time I had a house husband who was working hard, cutting the lawn and completing a “Honey Do” list which included some cock stroking. I kept him nice and horny during all of his sweaty work for me. I was turning myself on quite a bit while I was at work. Just thinking about him at home working hard, doing as I asked if him and then when I got home… We had some lunch and some perfectly wonderful bent over the bed, fucked from behind sex. All because I wanted it and he had to give it to me. 

It really was a fun day, tiring for hubby and we didn’t get in much play at night but we did have some good during the day play and he got to cum on my big round ass in the afternoon before the kids got home from school. 🙂

On a recent post, Collaredmichael commented the following:

Do you find the perverse desire not to [cum] -in order to continue your streak of days without? It is something I seem to be experiencing – I want to cum but I don’t want to cum.

Short answer: I used to get this feeling, but not so much anymore.

I think, at one time, I felt the desire to keep pushing my denial farther and farther. Thinking about it now, it wasn’t so much of a desire to keep pushing it for a deeper intensity; it was more of an attempt to keep the sexual connection between ML and me. Since things have gotten much more healthier between ML and me in a sexual sense, I feel no desire to force it along anymore.

That’s not to say the feeling went away completely after things got better between us. When we attempted the full year of orgasm denial, of course I wanted to keep going without cumming. But that was the point of the exercise: just how long can we go? I think ML and I found out the answer to that.

At this point, I want my orgasms to be fully controlled by ML. That means not trying to “help my denial along” by resisting an orgasm and pushing my denial further; I’m in a state of mind now where I really do want to cum, but whether I do or not depends on what she wants. It wasn’t easy for me to get to this place mentally, but the work (and play) that My Lady and I have done has helped us get here.

St writes:

I read a 3 year old post “The Ring’s the Thing”… and you mentioned that you switched back to the regular ring, because the anatomical one started to feel uncomfortable. I would love to read an update regarding this matter, please. I’m thinking of buying the Revenge, but i can’t decide which ring to choose.

Click here for the post that St is referring to.

It kinda surprised me when I found the anatomical ring to be less comfortable than the standard round one for the Revenge. I had heard good things about the anatomical ring from others, and also it’s designed specifically for comfort. So you’d think it would be the best choice, but it wasn’t for me.

But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t the best choice for everyone.

Stay with me…

Just like I wrote in this post about trying out the double ring, the comfort of the base ring is really up to the wearer. Some guys will find the anatomical ring to be a better fit than the standard one; some guys may feel better in an oval ring, while others stick with the round design. You really need to try it to see if it works for you. Just make sure you don’t end up forcing it just because someone else says it’s “the best.”

On the other hand, I do recommend getting the integrated lock option that is available on all of the Steelworxx designs!

So let me tell you a little story about how awesome my husband is when it comes to me. This story explains all of the reason I know we are the most perfect for each other. The other night we were having some pretty fantastic sex and I decided I wanted to feel my pussy squeeze down hard on CM’s big thick cock while I came. So he knelt there between my legs sliding himself in and out and, fuck, it felt so good. I started to rub my clit to help myself get to climax faster – although CM makes me cum way better. Anyway, I could feel the intensity grow as I got closer and closer to orgasm and all of a sudden CM pulled the pillow out from under my head as I hit that spot and my muscles tightened and I clenched everything. To some that might have been rude, but in that moment, he knew well enough to take the pillow away so I didn’t cause myself unnecessary pain. It was an incredibly awesome moment between us, he knows me so well and even in that moment of my orgasm he thought of me and how to make it even better for me. 

That’s what I love the most about having an attentive husband. He knows exactly how to please me and make me feel fantastic sexually and even emotionally. Do I think it’s the cage and denial that make him that way? No, because all of this has come after I let him cum a few times in the past few days. He’s like that because he loves me and genuinely cares about my pleasure.

Anyway, I know this isn’t a super long post but it’s one of those things I think people should know. Those little things you do in your relationship really do make her feel thought of, feel special, feel cared for and that her pleasure is important. 

I want to thank everyone for all of their love and support in response to my last post. It means a lot to me to know all of you out there are pulling for me. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get back to the chastity, orgasm denial, and the crazy horniness that goes along with it.

I don’t know if it was the stress of the new house prep combined with the health issues, but My Lady allowed me to have an orgasm before we moved in to the new house… it could have also been that she wanted me to fill her pussy up with cum, can’t really be sure. I’m not the type to question the reason why I’m allowed to have my first orgasm in about 3 months, I’ll just take it and run with it.

After that first cum, ML gave me a treat and had me masturbate next to her in bed. I can’t remember the last time I actually stroked myself to orgasm… that’s seriously not an exaggeration, it’s been so long that I can’t even guess when it last happened.

It was nice, but to be honest, it feels a LOT better when ML strokes me now… and it’s even better when I’m fucking her. Yep, her pussy is definitely the best!

So, um, yeah… not really sure how to approach this subject on a sex/chastity/orgasm denial blog, but I promised to be real and talk about everything, so….

I found out today that I’m sick. Not just “cough and cold” sick; I’m talking about “there’s a not-so-small chance I may end up needing an organ transplant” sick.

Yeah, no, seriously.

Now, don’t go freaking out – I did enough of that this afternoon for all of us put together. I haven’t even talked to my doctor yet, although I know enough about lab tests to understand the situation I’m in. It’s not really worth going into the details, except to say that:

  1. It’s serious.
  2. It needs to be addressed right away.
  3. I’m not dead yet. 🙂

That’s the thing… I’m not “symptomatic” sick, which is a blessing. I have a chance to handle this and, while not getting myself back to perfect health, keep myself at the decent level of health I’m currently at. Although, not being symptomatic keeps my horniness from not cumming for three months from going away… which is another blessing, I guess.

So, seriously… relax. I’m not going anywhere just yet. I’m still the horny, desperate, orgasm denied monkey I’ve been for the last few years. And My Lady and I are going to do everything we can to keep it that way.

For those who follow us on Twitter, you may have seen ML’s excitement over the arrival of the Revenge’s new lockset in the mail. Her excitement is pretty well justified – it’s been almost two years since I’ve worn the closed-style chastity cage. Although it doesn’t really matter how My Lady keeps me in chastity, it is always nice to have options. Also, it really is a beautiful device, very sexy and stylish.

ML didn’t waste time with getting my cock back in the Revenge – I’ll be wearing it for most (if not all) of the weekend. ML thought it would be best to have me wear it at home, just in case I needed to get used to it again. It’s not much of a different feeling compared to the Jailbird – both are stainless steel cages locked around my cock and balls, after all – but it is a different device than I’m used to wearing lately. Better to get acclimated while I’m at home than at work.

I said it’s not much different, but it is a different feeling: while my cock tends to bulge around the bars of the Jailbird when I get hard in the cage, the Revenge compresses me all around and gives no ground. It’s just a little bit more claustrophobic, a little bit more compete constriction.

I asked ML today if she feels any different about having me in the Revenge as opposed to the Jailbird, whether she likes me bulging out of the cage or being squeezed by the steel. She said that it is different: the Jailbird is more of a tease, letting me feel what I can’t have; the Revenge is about frustration, isolating me from what I truly need. She did say that she doesn’t really prefer one over the other, thoughl both give her control over my cock, just in different ways.

This weekend should be a very frustrating reintroduction to the Revenge. ML is excited to see and hear what it feels like when I get one of my strong “rooty” erections in the Revenge, and she is also interested in exploring her new love of caged sex with the smooth steel inside her pussy.

I get asked this a lot: what does it feel like to wear a chastity device? Does it always feel weird? Does it ever get comfortable? How is it possible to live a normal life when your cock and balls are locked into a steel cage?

Well, it’s sort of like any other new thing: it takes some getting used to, but it becomes normal after a while. It’s almost like a piece of jewelry that you need to get used to wearing… except that it’s padlocked to your junk.

I remember when ML and I first got married, I was very much aware of my wedding ring when I was wearing it. I’d play with it, fiddle with it, and I could feel it between my fingers. I wasn’t used to it, so it felt really weird. But now, after more than 13 years of marriage, wearing it is more normal to me than not wearing it is.

Obviously, I haven’t been wearing the chastity cage for 13 years (although, sometimes, it seems like it’s that long between erections!). But I have been wearing it for a decent amount of time – it’s getting close to 4 years of being in chastity, going to work wearing my device, sleeping with it on, etc. It’s part of my normal routine now.

In fact, it feels different now when I’m not wearing it rather than when I am. Now, I’m surprised when I reach down to adjust myself and I don’t feel the hard steel of the Jailbird. I’m reflexively careful when I wrestle or snuggle with the kids, automatically trying to avoid an awkward explanation. Sometimes I even surprise myself when I go to use the bathroom and I find myself uncaged, completely forgetting that My Lady had unlocked me earlier that day. I’m just so used to being in chastity for ML, I hardly ever give it a second thought.

That’s not to say that wearing the chastity cage is always as comfortable as can be. There are times when I get so hard and full in the cage that it’s almost painful. Sometimes I get woken up in the middle of the night by my cock fighting a losing battle against the steel bars locked around it, and the only way I can get back to sleep is by reading or playing games on my phone until my cock calms down.


See how badly I’m bulging against the bars in that pic… doesn’t look all that comfortable, does it? Honestly, it’s not… but it really is worth it. It’s worth the time getting used to it in order to wear the cage for My Lady, to be able to be locked and kept for her. It doesn’t start out natural, but it becomes natural.

I was asked this really great question recently so I thought I would take a minute to write here about it. I’m sure some of our readers who are in control would appreciate it. Then again, some of you in the submissive role may like to know this stuff too. 

“…doesn’t it make you feel bad sometimes when you deny your hubby for so so long? Do you ever feel guilty?”

There actually was a time, when we first started this whole chastity and longer term denial thing, that I would describe my feelings as guilt. Now that we are almost 4 years into this there are zero feelings of guilt. There doesn’t need to be any. 4 years ago my hubby asked me to take control of his sexual pleasure. He wanted me to be the one to decide if, when and how he would orgasm. I gladly accepted that role and took control over that pleasure for him. So why would I feel guilty about giving him something he wanted in the first place? That’s something us dominant types can forget sometimes… but when someone completely offers themselves to us we need to not feel guilty about accepting the responsibility.

Cagedmonkey naturally craves and needs to be controlled and I naturally crave and need to be in control. It makes us both feel fulfilled and content in our relationship and in our life. It fits us so well to accept these roles. 

So, in short, no I don’t feel bad or guilty about denying him orgasm or even keeping him locked in that steel cage and even controlling him to the point of when he gets a full erection. I love knowing that he is THAT controlled, down to something even HE can’t control! I love knowing he has a pretty constant reminder of me and the fact that I control him and he sexual organs and pleasure. It’s mine to enjoy, he gave me that. He offered me that gift and it’s one of the best things and shows such deep love and respect and, more importantly, trust. It makes me feel great, not guilty! 

A lot of readers/followers ask me how I manage not to cum immediately during sex when I’m being denied orgasm. It’s not that easy, and to be perfectly honest, I’m really not good at it at all. I’m not sure if it’s the denial that makes me more sensitive and ready, or if it’s just the fact that ML’s pussy feels that amazingly good; either way, I can’t manage more than five or six good thrusts before I need to stop.

It’s too bad it’s not as simple as looping a gif!

There are a couple of positions where I can kinda avoid cumming right away, but other than that, it happens VERY quickly. I’m really lucky that ML isn’t disappointed by my performance… in fact, she takes it as a compliment. As she should: either she’s doing a great job teasing me, or her pussy is doing a great job getting me off!

Sometimes, though, I wish that I could flick a switch and not be so “hair-triggered.” There are times where I know ML wants a good pounding, and I feel bad when I’m not able to provide. The other night, ML got me dunk enough where I couldn’t cum and she took advantage of it by using my cock hard… the only problem being that I can’t remember it! Although I’m glad she got her “fill” of my non-cumming cock, I wish I could remember what it was like.