8 comments on “Not Caring For Sharing: Setting Boundaries

  1. No mystery here, who really likes to share? I wonder how realistic this is in terms of maintaining a certain level of intimacy? There invariably will come a day when people choose to play and hubby finds he has adapted to someone else and rather likes it and maybe one day even better than you. Impossible you think or unlikely? I am a shrink and I see plenty of psychic damage from what started out as “fun”. It’s one thing to have online interaction with others but in person this takes one to a different playing field, one that may never be able to find one’s way back from.

    • Michele Rubin,

      Thank you for your comment. I have to agree that physical play can change people. Cagedmonkey and I know we could never do the cuckold thing by definition.

  2. Some time ago (a year? two? three?), Mrs. Twisted and I got involved in a serious discussion about ‘other people’ and limits/boundaries. I’m not quite sure how it started but the gist of it was that she was having an issue relating to the discovery that the idea of her fucking someone else was a turn on for her. As it turned out, her issue was *not* with that particular idea per se, but rather with the mistaken notion that “what was good for the goose was good for the gander”- she was somehow under the impression that *my* limits required total reciprocity on *her* part, IOW, she felt that she needed to adjust her limits to the notion of me being free to fuck other women and she was absolutely *not* OK with that idea, and it was hindering her ability to enjoy the eroticism of the scenario. Apparently, she was having some difficulty reconciling that the ‘power exchange’ and her being ‘in control’ did not require her to be ‘fair’.

    Once we got it straightened out that she was under no obligation to consider reciprocity, it freed her mind to enjoy the pleasure and amusement of that type of scene.

    Frankly, I’m not quite sure why she had the problem in the first place, as the whole dynamic of the F/m power exchange is predicated on the *woman* being in control and *NOT* being “fair”…maybe she just wasn’t quite completely grasping that notion…

    • FWIW, not being fair isn’t always an easy thing for us KHers. We might be in control but sometimes the unfairness can feel like we are being mean and who likes to be mean? Well… Ok some out there do but for a lot of us that part doesn’t come easily.

  3. I totally understand where you are coming from, as much as cuckold fantasies agree with me, they only work in the abstract. I know the reality is more than I could handle. Hope your reaction has passed now.

    • Oh yes, talking about it, figuring out the cause was like instantly lifting the pain from my body!

      Ok really it took about a day to not hurt but emotionally and physically I feel much better, thank you!

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