We were recently asked a bunch of questions from a guy on Fetlife and they were such wonderful questions that I knew we had to take the time to answer them here. Since there are so many, we will be breaking them up over a couple Mail Chastity posts. We are also doing this because some are aimed at me, being the one in control and some to cagedmonkey, being the one controlled and locked in chastity.
Please feel free to ask us anything you like, we really do love interacting with our readers and answering questions. Any questions are ok from general to personal. What would you like to know?
A gentleman from Fetlife asks:
What is it like to have that control over a man?
The best way I can describe this feeling is that it feels powerful. Emotionally I feel strong, empowered, important, wanted, desired and needed. Physically I feel this tingling sensation, this warm rush comes over me and the feelings of power flow through my body. My heart beats a little faster and it’s almost like I can feel my blood pumping through my veins. Sometimes it’s even a bit overwhelming and I have to stop myself and back up for a second or two.
We’ve only been doing this, at this intensity level, for a couple years and only recently have I allowed my natural aggressiveness come out so it can still get overwhelming for me at times. But, cagedmonkey and I both say, this isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon so we have plenty of time to enjoy this I the time that is right for us.
How long did it take to train him to withhold orgasm…because you do allow him sex, right?
First of all, yes, I do allow him sex. Our “sex” happens daily but it’s not the same sex we had before chastity. It’s much more intimate and meaningful and doesn’t necessarily include intercourse. Sometimes we have intercourse. Sometimes we have intercourse, daily. It just depends on what is happening or how I’m feeling because I’m in control of our sexual pleasure.
As for training, there wasn’t much actual training other than practice. Orgasm denial was something cagedmonkey experimented with before he and I met and it’s something we’ve played with the entire 15 years we’ve been together. The past two years there has been a lot of edging and denial and I think, over time, he gets better and better at recognizing his orgasm and where the edge is and he’s learned that feeling of going too far.
I do think a man could be trained in time, with repeated edging and denial, to be able to hold off longer and longer. Denial also makes holding off that much harder. It’s a bit of a double edged sword but possible.
I hope this helped answer his questions and if any of our Dom/Domme readers would like to add their thoughts, please feel free to leave a comment!