17 comments on “HELP NEEDED!!! Advice for a Lost Kajira in the Gorean Lifestyle

  1. I would have to say that yes she has been abandoned. Her Master took advantage of the situation. A woman who was looking for something. But also was not available completely. Once she was he had to walk away. He is probably not available and this is his way of protecting herself. There are people that can help. But she would have to walk away from the structure he put in place. At this point it was fake and not to help her but to protect him and keep her from finding out he was not what he said.

  2. I have had some experience with Gor. I had a friend who was sold into slavery by her Gorean mother. She was abused in ways you can’t imagine.
    Almost every other Gorean female I talked to has told me horror stories about it. I have seen women cry and lament over the way they were treated. It sounds good at first. Release of all responsibility, do only what you are told with only your “Master” to report to. It has almost nothing to do with BDSM as we know it. There is NO consent. Women are property and are treated as such. odd are, the so called “Master” would tire of her and trade her to some other man for something better, younger, or richer.
    If I were this woman, I would count my blessings and try to find a REAL Master who understand what is to own a slave, to protect her, defend her, help her to grow in a loving relationship. yes, there are nice guys in Gor, but there are far more that are not so nice. After all, they will be scorned if the don’t treat their slaves like dirt.
    My advice… Get out! Find a nice BDSM Master who will treat you like a human being instead of property.

    Mistress Ivey

    • I appreciate your comment, Ms Ivey – do you feel this Master has abandoned her? Not speaking to her since January? Deleting his email account?

    • I concur with Mistress Ivey. Unfortunately the kink world is full of people who don’t know the difference between the lifestyle and domestic violence (physical or emotional). Owning a submissive/slave/kajira is a serious business and is not to be taken lightly. Another person is voluntarily putting their wellbeing in your hands. In spite of the D/s factor it is a relationship of trust and respect. This woman has been taken advantage of and been abused at a time when she was vulnerable.

      Yes she has been abandoned, and that is a good thing in the long run. I recommend some counselling to assist her in becoming whole again and grounded. Then if the D/s lifestyle is something that she wants to pursue, she can move forward from a position of personal power.

      Mistress Liberty.

  3. I don’t have much experience with the Gorean lifestyle, but what contact I have had as left me with a very bad impression. Too many red flags are thrown up by the entire concept.

    In the case here I would say she’s been abandoned by someone who read some really, really bad fantasy books and tried to live them out. I also think Angel is right, she was being played by on online “Master” who ran when things began to become real.

    Mistress Ivey is right, she would be better off going to a munch and meeting someone real who can fulfill her needs.

    • Thank you bill for your comment. My post really isn’t about her choice in the lifestyle… She needs and craves what she needs… The help I want for her is simply whether or not people feel she is being abandoned or perhaps tested by this Master. From what she tells me, he really has been a good guy and her tasks and rules I’ve seen have all been about her being a better person.

      She’s just lost and doesn’t know if she should continue to wait for him or move on and consider him gone from her life.

      • With respect if he were a ‘good guy’ he would not have abandoned her! Genuine things happen in people’s lives that mean that they move in and out of the kink world. I get that. But have the decency to be open and honest with those you are interacting with. it is not respectful, or ethical to just disappear. What if he died? She needs to move on for her own well being.

        Mistress Liberty.

      • Mistress Liberty,
        I agree with you totally! I don’t think any good dominant, male or female, would just go silent for months – I don’t care which lifestyle you are living. It’s mentally damaging to a sub that have so much of themselves and was so devoted and trusting!

  4. Comments about Gor aside, that is NOT NOT NOT a Master. He is/was a wannabe using a woman in an emotionally charged time. She needs to break away from him and seek solace elsewhere. Go to munches, meet people, make new friends and perhaps find a protector as she navigates these waters…

      • I will say I am glad she has you and Monkey. I can understand her plight. Online relationsips are so easy, almost too easy, to fake.

        Speaking from personal experience, I met a guy online and shortly after, he vanished with no explanation. I remember watching, waiting, and hoping he would come back. He did, with the explanation that the military called him away. I was never so happy to see anyone come back.

        Rambling aside, some people online are real, just as some are not. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.

  5. Take the kink out of it and you get:

    1 “Her online boyfriend with whom she has internet sex but has never met has gone dark after hinting he would.

    2. “She has been putting her sexual energy into an online relationship.”

    Put the kink back in and you get

    3. “Gorean lifestyle. Good or bad?”

    I would say that

    1. She has been dumped.

    2. If she hasn’t been dumped, she should dump him because she should look for D/s in the real world for a zillion reasons.

    3. She should look for the real world connection with a dominant man first, and assess his particular local sub culture when she finds him.

  6. I would say she’s been abandoned. Perhaps there’s a reasonable explanation, perhaps not.

    However, considering she was never collared by him, he does not “own” her. Therefore, as hard as it will be, she should move past him. She should let go of the rituals/rules he made for her, and focus on herself, and her own healing.

    What she does in the future as far as another Gorean master, or any type of master, needs to be her choice and if she’s letting the “Daemon Lover”* influence her choices, then she will not be able to move forward entirely.



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