24 comments on “He Said, She Said: The Breaking Point (Part 1)

  1. Wow! This is staggering! And good for you that you were able to not use your safe word. How long have now been without an orgasm?

  2. This is amazing. My heart goes out to you as I know this had to be sooooo hard for you but I am glad you worked through it. It is a beautiful thing when you can be so vulnerable and connected and share that together. I am glad you didn’t use your safeword though. You are very strong to keep surrendering to her control. Looking forward to what happens next. And LM I love how you comforted him and cared for him while he was so vulnerable. Great job as a wife and Dominant.

    • Marie, thank you for the compliment. It is so important that a sub or slave, even, know they are loved, cared for and respected.

      I pushed him to that point – and got off on doing it hehe – but as his wife and Dominant his safety and well being are my responsibility. I’ll never give him a reason not to trust me or my love for him.

      I’m so proud of him for hanging in there. I’m a very difficult Domme to handle… apparently! (I’ve broken more than just my hubby emotionally – had a couple potential trainees but they ran instead of trusting or even talking to me about it, oh well)

      • I couldn’t agree more. The relationship my David was in before me was very bad. He was beaten quite badly with no aftercare and just treated like a doormat and brainwashed too. I changed all of that and with me he knows a real M/s and how loving and caring a Mistress can be even if I am a strict one. He is my most cherished possession so I want him to feel safe and loved even while being used. It’s so important.

      • EXACTLY! I love how you said “I want him to feel safe and loved even while being used.” It is so very very important. Being such good dominant we could easily manipulate and cause real emotional damage. Any D/s or M/s relationship has to be built on trust, respect and care for each other.


      • [i](…had a couple potential trainees but they ran instead of trusting or even talking to me about it, oh well)[/i]

        Damn, it’s too bad Mrs. Twisted and I are so far away. Your reply to my previous comment got me a little wound up…exciting to think about, but, unfortunately, not likely to happen…

      • It is too bad Twisted! I could have so much fun πŸ™‚
        Perhaps it’s time to write out MY fantasy in a post! It might get you boys all kinds of tight in the cages!

    • Thank you for the compliment. ML is excellent at providing me aftercare and showing me that she does care for me and want the best for me. She may put me through some very difficult trials, but because of the aftercare ML provides, I know that she understands how difficult it is for me. She sympathizes with me, but she’s not going to let me get off easy (pun intended?). She’s going to make me earn it.

      How great is that? πŸ™‚

  3. You don’t know me and I’m a relatively new follower. I’ve been lurking around BDSM circles for a few years now and I want to both applaud you and voice some concerns that my read of this raised.

    There should never, ever, be shame in using a safeword, or asking that the “play” stop, be it for a scene, or for a relationship. If something is distressing and damaging on a real level, then there is no loss of face to stay “stop, I need time to figure out how I feel” or “stop, I need this to end.”

    Likewise, I’m very hesitant to put praise on someone for not using it. I can see where it could be seen as a sign of trust but that is also where deep thinking needs to occur as to exactly ~why~ a safeword wasn’t used. Was it because it wasn’t needed (good) or because the submissive feared for the consequence of using it (bad)?

    My primary thought is this: Intense emotional feelings from Dom/sub play/life can be found over and over again. But it only takes once, one time, one miscue, one misread, one misread sign, and permanent damage is done. Relationships are ended. Trust is violated.

    I can’t shake my own concerns that when the CM was moved to tears, LM first derived her own pleasure from his distress, and ~then~ saw to his comfort. I’m certain I’m reading this wrong, or that my newness to your blog shows in that the relationship you have is one where the Domme’s pleasure comes first, above all else. I believe the error must be on my part.

    I wish you both well, regardless. Any couple able to find passion and kink after kids is clearly doing something ~right~ which is why my concerns hit me so hard when I read these two posts.

    • Thank you so much for your comment and perhaps cm will have his own thoughts but I’m going to quite simply say that everything we do/did is consensual. He gets off on being pushed to the brink and then being pushed further. He’s knows very well he can use his SW without judgement and has in the past. He knows I get off on hearing him whimper. Our communication is at a level where he has told me this is what he wants from me, his Wife/Domme… to be used, abused and disregarded. I just happen to enjoy what it does to him when I do.

      However, he was probably fine and I’m the one who was starting to hurt emotionally seeing him that way, which is why I reminded him of his SW. I never want him to push himself too far because he’s trying to punish himself for something. I decide what he gets punished for and how that will happen.

      Hope that helps and makes sense. It was all in the scene and never true abuse of power by me. πŸ™‚ I cannot do that to the man I love.

    • I understand your concerns; I admit it might be a little worrying for someone to hear about how much ML loves to watch me suffer. But, due to our intensive communication, both of us know that every step of the way is consensual for both of us. ML knows that if she feels I can’t handle something she can call an end to it, and I know that if something is too intense for me I can safeword without fear of being ridiculed or penalized (and the rules are the same when the parties are reversed when we switch on those rare occasions).

      The praise for not using my SW comes from the fact that ML knows that I want/need to be pushed, that I can take a lot more punishment than I think I can and it’s exciting to find that out. My personal rules for using my SW are that I only use it if I am in danger, if I don’t feel safe, or if I am in truly unbearable pain. If it’s a situation where I just *want* something to end, that’s not good enough. If I took the easy way out and safeworded at the first instant I wanted orgasm, I would have never gotten past a month! Not only would I be cheating ML out of the control I have submitted to, I would be cheating myself out of the amazing intense experience that chastity and orgasm denial has become.

      You raise a very good point, however – a submissive needs to trust the dominant enough to be able to use the safeword and not be penalized for its use, and the dominant in turn needs to trust the submissive to use the safeword when needed. If either of those lines of trust are violated, the potential for injury (physical or emotional) is a real danger.

      • Thank you both for your candor, and your openmindedness to a different opinion. I meant no offense and in fact wrote partly just to express the impressions of someone new to your blog.

        For good or ill, there is a Dom near us who has a favorite line: “What are you going to do? Use your safeword like a fake submissive?” For his play, the SW is something you beat out of a submissive, not something you respect. Having spent time consoling and counseling his broken “toys”, I hope my reaction is at least understandable.

        What I’m learning as I explore this unique side to BDSM is that the fantasy and the reality so often collide that it is sometimes hard for the outside observer to know if all parties really are consenting to the level of “abuse” being doled out (quotations used because we know that it’s not true abuse if all parties give informed free consent). The lines are far more murky with this than with other activities within BDSM.

        And I admit, I’m a soft hand when it comes to that. As I said, I would prefer to have to recreate a scene than to rebuild a relationship so I tend to be much more likely to back up and restart later than to push. That’s just me though.

      • We welcome and appreciate all opinions and other points of view. If everyone agreed with us it would be weird.

        We are not experts, we merely share our real life activities, exploration and experience. And have a hell of a lot of fun doing it!

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