Wife Led Marriage

image

That’s only fair, right? I get to tie up cagedmonkey and then open (torture) him as a present to me on his birthday?!?! Hehe

Happy birthday to my amazing subby hubby! I love you and our life together more than any words could explain. You have given and continue to give me everything I need mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually and that is a huge gift.

Tonight I have us booked a 2 room suite at an indoor waterpark for a family fun night away to celebrate CM’s birthday. I hope it turns out to be an amazing day!

(First off, apologies for the lack of posting lately; it’s been very busy here at the LMnC household getting ready for the upcoming move)

image

It’s so interesting how chastity has changed my life.

I never thought that seeing dents in my cock would make me feel sexy, but they do. I love the look of the marks that my chastity cage leaves on me after I take it off. It reminds me that, even though I might be unlocked, My Lady still owns my cock. She still controls it, whether it’s free from confinement or underneath steel bars. The effect is still there.

It was truly fortunate that My Lady found chastity and decided to give it a try. That decision changed so many things in our lives for the better – our sex life improved, along with our emotional bonds with each other. It’s a part of our lives that we would never take away.

image

It kind of reminds me of my chastity tattoo. It has become one of my favorites that I have, for that reason – it symbolizes the choice I made to turn control of my sexuality over to ML. She chose the design, she chose the location, and I accepted it… and it couldn’t have been more perfect.

It’s so perfect, sometimes I think to myself: were we destined for this? Is this exactly how we were meant to be with each other? Were we fortunate, or was this situation blissfully unavoidable?

When I get thoughts like these, I can’t help but think of my “chastity scar.”

image

That right there, is where the base ring of my chastity cage sits. It’s very faint, but you can see the skin is raised very slightly and barely discolored. It’s not a major injury or anything, it doesn’t even hurt or cause discomfort. It’s the result of my fairly large cock struggling against the bars and ring of my chastity cage. I never really expected it to happen, but now it’s a part of me.

It’s funny how chastity has changed me – from the “in the moment” feelings, to the changes I hoped would occur, and even those changes that I never could have expected. It’s also amazing how pretty much all of these changes are for the better.

So today is Valentine’s Day, and it’s been far from the best of days. ML and I woke up to some family drama – nothing too terrible and not involving our immediate family, but serious nonetheless. And it kinda went downhill from there, culminating in a burst water pipe thanks to a week of mega-freezing temperatures.

image

If the ceiling fell in, it wouldn't be a surprise.

It’s been a rough day. I’ve already started working on getting drunk, and I doubt ML will be far behind me. It’s just one of those days that you want to be over and move on from.

It’s funny, though… it’s still Valentine’s Day, and we both found time in our horrible day to show our love for each other. I am really blessed to be married to a woman like her: someone who can make me smile on even the worst days. Someone who I know is on my side, no matter how bad things get. Someone who is a partner in parenting, a partner in love, and a partner in life.

If this sounds like this post is turning into one of those “I love my wife so much,” corny, romantic, Valentine’s Day posts… well, you’re right. Got a problem with that? Didn’t think so.

Wishing a VERY Valentine’s Day to everyone out there – for the few hours that are left, anyway. I hope that no matter how bad things get, that you look ahead with open eyes, open arms, and an open heart.

image

Insert incredibly cute Valentine's Day photo here.

This past weekend was quite an intense experience. ML and I both agreed that we were craving some D/s play time, so we decided to turn my three day weekend into a “full submission” weekend. I will admit that the concept of multi-day play was more difficult than I expected – the degree of my submission seemed to wane slightly as the weekend went on, however I do feel that having the kids around the house contributed to this also.

Friday started off pretty much as you’d expect from reading ML’s rules – I spent a few minutes pleasing My Lady’s pussy with my tongue before it was time to get up and get the kids ready for school. My cock was aching in its cage as she softly moaned, obviously in no immediate hurry. She didn’t even demand and orgasm from me… sometimes that’s even more frustrating for me: the fact that she can cum anytime she wants, but sometimes chooses not to (meanwhile, I’m desperate to cum, but have no choice but not to).

When it was time for me to wake up – or, should I say, when My Lady allowed me to get out of bed – I was immediately started on my water-drinking program. ML instructed me to drink two large cups of water with breakfast (quickly reaching half of my minimum quota in only one meal), and to follow that with a cup of coffee. I could already see that she had plans to test the limits of my bladder, and that those limits would be tested very quickly.

I finished my drinks as ML did homeschool work with our daughter. As I sat watching TV, I received a text message from none other than ML:

Go in the bathroom right now and unlock yourself, stroke that big thick cock of mine to three edges. Then come out and drink another cup of water.

I was happy to be unlocked, but I was also extremely frustrated after the three edges. The worst thing, though, was standing in the bathroom and feeling the urge to pee starting to build, yet not being able to relieve myself. By the time I finished my third cup of water, I could feel the need to go getting even stronger.

I snuck at text message to ML, asking if her “subby hubby” could use the rest room, and got the following response:

You can go when I get back.

Before I was able to ask, ML called to me from the other room and said that she was going out to run some errands with our daughter. “How long will you be gone?” I asked.

“I’m not sure,” she replied with a wicked smile. I squirmed on the couch just a bit, and she chuckled. She leaned down to give me a kiss, and whispered in my ear, “I want you to edge that cock every fifteen minutes while I’m gone.” Then she reached down and gave my hardening cock a squeeze before she was off and out the door.

It didn’t take me long to go from handing it ok to being somewhat uncomfortable with the need to go pee. The combination of a full bladder and the repeated edging were taking its toll on my ability to manage my “needs.” About 45 minutes after ML left, I got another text from her:

I hope you are still drinking your water. I’d hate to come home and find out you weren’t following my instructions. 🙂

Her command was clear. Her intentions, not so much. Did she want me to have to piss in my pants? To have to sit in it and wait for her to come home so I could clean myself and properly relieve myself? I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer, so instead I asked how long it would be until she got back.

I got no response.

So I sat there – slowly progressing towards agony as my bladder screamed for relief, continuing to make the problem worse by drinking more water, and increasing the building pressure with repeated edges… and it was all because it was exactly what My Lady wanted from me. I waited another hour, checking the driveway, waiting for her to come home. I could think of nothing else but when would she get home. I’m sure this is precisely what she wanted me to be thinking.

Just as I was about to give up on holding it in, ML ‘s car pulled into the driveway. I was so happy to see her so I could use the bathroom. Of course, she took her sweet time exiting the car and walking up to the house, pushing me just a little farther. When she came in the house, I begged her to use the restroom. Mercifully, she allowed me to. It was such a relief to be able to pee after needing to go so badly for so long.

A knock on the door broke me out of my “ahhhhhhhh” moment. My Lady called to me through the door. “Three more edges before you come out, darling,” she said, “and plug your ass, as well… if you are a good boy, I might let you take it out before bed.”

Click here for part 2! 🙂

Brace yourselves. Today is Friday, and I’m not at work.

I know… crazy, right?

I actually have a three day weekend, which is pretty amazing. Part of my plans include being lazy, playing lots of video games (there’s a Super Mario Maker level bouncing around in my head, and I’ve only just begun exploring the Fallout 4 wasteland), but a good portion of my weekend will be spent submitting to My Lady.

ML and I haven’t had a “deep submission” day in a little while, and today we are jumping in with a full weekend’s worth of it. I’m actually very excited about it; it’s a very intense experience to submit completely to ML, and I’m sure it will become more and more intense over multiple days. This will actually be our first “multi-day” play session – the last time we wanted to do something like this, it was unexpectedly interrupted. God willing, we won’t have to deal with anything like that this time around.

ML and I are going to really up the ante on how much control she has over me this weekend – I will be following her instructions on when and what to eat and drink, be subjected to bathroom limits at her discretion, endure any teasing, and perform and sexual servitude that she requires.

This could end up being very intense. Both ML and I agree that this type of living would never work for us permanently, but as a limited-time play session it could be very fun to explore the potential of this arrangement.

Looking ahead to the looming start of my next period of orgasm denial – longer than I have ever been denied, longer than I ever thought I would be – has got me thinking about a few things. I’ve been thinking about the difference between what I want vs. what I need, as well as what it means to truly submit to My Lady.

Many of our readers out there (and ML, as well!) would agree that it is not easy being ML’s sub: it is not easy to be locked in chastity, it is not easy to be teased so intensely, and it is not easy to be held in strict orgasm denial throughout it all. She is a special and unique keyholder, and it takes a special and unique level of commitment and determination to endure her treatment. I’ve been questioning my level of commitment to submitting to ML lately, mainly because of certain aspects of our initial chastity agreement.

Way back when we started living this chastity lifestyle (over… 2 years ago? Holy shit, it was over two years ago!), we crafted a chastity agreement that allowed us both to have input on how our FLR would take shape. The spirit of that agreement guides every aspect of our D/s dynamic, even if we don’t follow each and every clause to the letter (for example, it’s been a long time since we’ve written in our communication book, only because we’ve grown to be so comfortable communicating with each other directly). One of the clauses that ML has been very gracious to uphold has been the use of the “Maybe Day.”

To explain the Maybe Day clause quick and simple: ML gives me a date when she plans to let me cum next, and will let me know if she decides to push me significantly past that date. She can choose whatever date she wishes, and can choose to extend it for any reason, but she is required to let me know when it will be or how much longer I will have to wait.

Looking back on it, I wanted to put that clause in our agreement because of my trust issues. When things were difficult between ML and me, there was never any telling when our next sexual encounter would be. I was scared that ML’s interest might fade once again if there was no date to hold her accountable. I needed even just a small guarantee that I wasn’t going to be left and forgotten about. I wasn’t ready for such an open-ended situation.

I think I’m ready for that now.

Over the past two years, I can’t remember too many nights where ML and I weren’t sexual in some way with each other. I even recently posted about how just a knowing glance across the room can be our way of “having sex.” The level of passion is certainly there, and it’s stronger than it’s ever been. I don’t think I need to be worried that ML will lose sexual interest in me anymore. I probably have to be more worried about ML driving me insane with TOO MUCH sexual attention!

With My Lady’s agreement, I would like to do away with the concept of Maybe Day for good. I realize that this opens me up for denial periods longer than I’d ever expect with absolutely no warning whatever, but I am ready to submit to her that deeply.

(This post is the first that ML will be hearing of these thoughts, so I am very curious to see what her reaction is. Wish me luck!)

There was an excellent comment on my last post that was absolutely spot on, and perfectly describes one of the best things about male chastity.

chastityfemdom writes:

now that we have PIV so much less, when it happens (or rather when Mistress R lets it happen) we both enjoy it a lot more than we used to, when it was just an ‘everyday’ thing. Guy’s who don’t live this way really don’t appreciate how good it feels to be inside a nice wet pussy, or how it feels to hear ‘I want you to cum inside me’.

Thanks for the comment, Rob! And yes, I 100% agree with you!

When I’ve been locked up for a good amount of time, the feeling of My Lady’s warm wet pussy squeezing and gripping my hard cock is just fucking amazing. That’s not to say it doesn’t always feel great – because it does – but it’s a little extra special when I’ve been denied for so long.

It’s almost like tasting your first dessert after you’ve been on a strict diet for weeks. Sure, a brownie is a nice treat no matter what day of the week you eat it, but it’s beyond delicious if you haven’t had one for quite some time.

So, yes, male chastity is about submission and control and all of those things we talk about… but one of the bonuses of male chastity is that first taste of sex when you’ve been on a “pussy diet” for so long.

I ran across this article on Yahoo and it started me thinking that ML and I must seem like a huge outlier. I mean, we are probably as content as we’ve ever been in our marriage, and we very often – in fact, regularly – go more than a week without having sex.

Then again, that’s by design. In fact, our chastity lifestyle has caused us to redefine what “sex” is for us. Of course, PIV-intercourse counts, but there is so much more that we do that ends up making the whole “cock & pussy” thing almost a minimal part of our sex life.

image

Damn fucking good, but still minimal.

Take this morning, for example. ML and I woke up a little late, so we were rushing around a little bit getting me ready for work… but I still had time to kneel in front of her to show my submission to her. And she uses that time to tease me with her beautiful tits, making me want them but also making me wait until she was ready for me to have them. It was a small moment, but it have both of us a sexual charge that lasted well into the day.

image

Wouldn't this keep you horny all day long?

My Lady and I “have sex” in so many ways. We can do an intense domination scene with bondage and pegging, or just simple snuggling and kissing in bed…. it’s all sex for us. Even just a simple smile and a knowing glance can have that sexual edge to it. (And yes… I just did it, and it was great!)

So, I guess we actually have sex more than once a week. In fact, we are pretty much having sex with each other all throughout the day. That still makes us an outlier, though… incredibly happy, in spite of all the sex we have. 🙂

One of the things I am asked often is Do I or why don’t I have cagedmonkey shave completely or dress in panties or [insert sissy/feminization reference here]? The simple answer is: I don’t want him to.

The more complex answer is something interesting I’ve been realizing slowly about myself. Over the last couple years, traveling along this kinky road, I’ve often analyzed my reasons for liking certain sexual things. Sometimes I’ve given up on analyzing some stuff because there is no rhyme or reason why that thing turns me on. Most things, however, I can link to a good event or even a trauma (mostly traumas!) in my past and that act is simply helping me work through the emotional baggage from the past.

I’m not going to get into my childhood traumas but simply put, I was sexually abused by a man early in life and, as you can imagine it left that little girl very vulnerable and helpless. So, for me and my complex answer as to why I don’t want some sissy, feminine guy for a submissive husband, it’s simply that I get off on controlling a man. Knowing that this man who could on the outside obviously take care of anything he needed to but is submissive to me, kneels before me and is locked in a chastity cage for me and is controlled sexually by me.

For me, it’s more of a turn on to control the big strong man and to have myself a submissive man for a husband.

(Taking a small break from the group sex weekend posts…. Don’t worry, the rest of the weekend will be posted)

I have to admit, I haven’t been the best sub I can be lately. I’ve been serving My Lady, being a good boy and satisfying her whenever and however she wishes, but I haven’t been submitting fully and completely to her. I’ve been wanting too much, and I’ve been making my wants known just a little too often.

There’s a difference between sharing my fantasies with My Lady, and telling her what I’d like her to do to me. I’m usually pretty good at avoiding the whole “top from the bottom” thing, but I’m far from perfect. My attitude has been contributing to some of ML’s down mood over the past week or so because she is afraid she is disappointing me. I shouldn’t be disappointed about anything because I shouldn’t be expecting anything.

Why am I having such trouble submitting? I’m almost sure it’s because of ML’s chastity plans for me – she wants to keep me locked 24/7 until Christmas. Forget having to go 2 months without an orgasm; I’m going to go 2 months without have a single full erection. And, honestly, that scares me.

When facing such a long lockup, I naturally want to have one last whatever-it-is that I want. In the past (both childhood and in our marriage), if something didn’t happen on a regular basis, there was a chance that it would be forgotten/phased out/etc. My mind thinks that if I have to wait that long (or, for some activities that we haven’t done for a while, even longer than a few months), will ML be interested? Has she already lost interest in some things that have faded from view? Are there things that we’ve done once and I’ve enjoyed, but will never happen again just because “it’s not something we do anymore”?

I hate these questions, because I hate not having the answers. But the beauty of submitting is that I don’t need the answers to these questions. All I need to know is that I belong to My Lady, and she wants what she wants. The answers to those questions are irrelevant if my focus is on her pleasure and fulfilling her desires.