Orgasm Denial

With a new year comes new year’s resolutions… although I really don’t believe in the concept. Why do you have to wait until the next year to make a change in your life? Why not start now? What good is waiting for an arbitrary date to pass to start improving yourself?

What was I talking about?

Ok, so anyways…

Independent of New Years, I have decided to eat a little better and try to get myself in shape. After all, I am getting older; if there is a time to get in shape, it’s now. ML is helping me with a meal plan and an exercise routine, as well. There is one part of me, however, that has gotten out of shape and diet or gym workout will help me with.

Simply put, my cum muscles have gotten weak.

Contrary to how it may seem, ML likes to see me cum – you’d think that a woman who keeps her husband in chastity and controls his orgasms wouldn’t be all that concerned with it, but she really does like it. She likes to pump it out of me, knowing that she got me so horny and so turned on for it to happen. I, of course, like it as well – because it happens so infrequently, the sight of my cock squirting cum all over ML’s boobs/ass/wherever she allows me to is a beautiful thing.

Unfortunately, since we have begun our chastity and orgasm denial lifestyle, the force of my orgasms have gradually declined. What was once a forceful spurt has slowly weakened over time to just a tiny dribble. My orgasms themselves are still intense; sometimes as intense as ever, depending on the teasing and/or lead-up to it. It’s just the physical reaction that has subsided.

At first, I was worried that it was a volume problem, but I don’t think that’s the case. Drinking lots and lots of water does help, but I’ve found that there isn’t an actual decrease in volume; after my orgasm, there is plenty of cum that drips out of my cock (or that ML squeezes out with her talented fingers). The cum is there, I’m just not strong enough to shoot it out.

Although I could go ahead and use the “well, my cock is so damn huge that it’s too far for the cum to travel” excuse, I’d rather be realistic and see the problem for what it is: my cum muscles have weakened with orgasm denial. To be honest, this isn’t all that surprising; you may remember recently that I went over 3/4 of a year without using those muscles. Imagine if you sat in a wheelchair for 9 months, then you tried to go out and run the 100 meter dash… that’s kind of the situation I’m up against.

So, the solution is strength reconditoning. There are no cum muscle rehab programs that I am aware of, and as much as I would like ML to put me on an “orgasm exercise regimen,” I would seriously miss the teasing and orgasm denial. What I need is a plan that works for us. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
1) PC muscle exercises when locked (or unlocked). For the unsciencey readers out there, the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles are the muscles that make you ejaculate (sort of… please don’t flood the comments section with Wikipedia proving I’m wrong, I’m going for simplicity here). You squeeze these muscles when you act as if you are trying to stop yourself from peeing (again, simplicity). These are the muscles that have gotten weak for me. I have been doing these exercises, but not regularly enough to make an impact.

2) More frequent edging and/or ruined orgasms when unlocked. I can’t believe I’m actually asking for this, but it’s true: although PC muscles are a good exercise, the most effective one would probably be frequent regular orgasms. That’s most likely not happening any time soon, so I’m guessing the next best thing would be more edges or ruined orgasms. The muscles aren’t utilized as they would be in a full-on cum, but it’s better than nothing.

I really would like to improve this situation. It would be pretty interesting for ML to tease me during long denial periods with videos of my own cock shooting cum all over her gorgeous titties. I have a lot of work to do to get there, but it’s an excellent goal to visualize. ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s a new year once again! Time can go by so damn quick sometimes – it seems like just yesterday ML and I were thinking about what was in store for us in 2016. I thought it would be fun to see what we got right and what we got wrong.

Let’s see…

…we’ll be moving into a new house…

Yeah, that didn’t happen. Instead of settling in, putting down roots, and building a new house for ourselves (with an extra bedroom set aside for a playroom); we ended up moving out-of-state (AGAIN), into an apartment (AGAIN), for a new job (AGAIN). We’re in a much better situation now, though… and we got a really nice new bed out of it, too!

…adding some exciting new features to our blog…

Something we were right about! This year we started recording our podcast, which turned out to be even more awesome than we expected. We’ve received great feedback from many of our readers/followers, and we have a ton of fun doing it!

… My Lady is going to deny me orgasms for the entire year…

You can’t say that we didn’t try. And it’s not like ML let me off easy – going 299 days without an orgasm is extremely difficult, with or without her near-constant teasing driving me insane. I doubt we will be trying another major denial period anytime soon; the ideal wasn’t easy for ML, either. Then again, we don’t really expect to plan out my denial periods too much, so who really knows if we’ll end up doing it again?

One thing that 2016 has taught us is that no matter how certain you are about something, you can never fully know what’s in store. My Lady and I learned a while ago that trying to predict the future is a waste of time. We live without expectations. What will we find in 2017? What will we be doing? Where will we be this time next year? I have no fucking idea… but My Lady and I will have fun getting there. ๐Ÿ™‚

Have a happy and horny new year!

My brain is smiling at you!

I thought I would write a quick post about my ct scan results. We’ve had a lot of people ask and rather than having to keep answering individually, I’ll do it here! So, the answer is, NOTHING! No, really, there are no masses or anything significant, physically, wrong with my brain. Which is good news in itself but annoying that now the doctor is sending me to a neurologist to do some more investigation. I, unfortunately, can’t get in to see the neurologist until late January but if they felt something was really wrong then I assume they’d be rushing an appointment. I’m just glad it wasn’t something big and it seems like it’s more than likely one of the many things wrong with me that no one can explain haha. 

Now, as for the whole doctor ordered denial thing… Well, screw that! haha I do not handle denial well, however, I am being extra careful not to have those mega intense orgasms with the wand. I’m also taking a more aware approach and really paying attention if I’m holding my breath during orgasm and making sure that I breathe! Thanks to Mrs. Fever for her comment and letting me know I’m not alone in many of the things I’m experiencing in my life. It was actually nice to hear someone else deals with pain on a regular basis, yet still does what they can to function in their kink! 

Also, a big thank you so much to everyone who has written and checked in on me! I appreciate you all so much! 

My wife attacked me last night. Seriously… there’s no better way to describe it.

My Lady’s pent up horny reached a boiling point last night; she had endured her doctor-mandated orgasm denial for long enough, and she was going to get what she wanted from me.

I should have seen it coming the night before: ML took advantage of me being unlocked and had me fuck her nice and hard, both from behind and standing against the wall. She wanted it so badly, she didn’t want to have to be careful – she allowed me to cum in her pussy if I promised not to stop until she was done. Nowadays, with my chance of having an orgasm on any given day is a complete mystery, I’m not turning that deal down. It felt so good to just let loose on her, I almost ended up cumming twice before she was finished.

But she wasn’t finished. All she did was prime her need.

Last night, we were just about ready to go to sleep – TV off, covers up, ready for bed. Then, it all started with an innocent snuggle. My Lady moaned as my naked butt rubbed against her, and her hands were quickly feeling my body up and down. She squeezed me tighter against her, and I could feel her hunger rising quickly. A moment later, ML was pulling the covers off of me, rolling me onto my back, and straddling my hips.

Was the fact that my cock was locked in steel going to stop her from getting what she needed? Hell no! Her soaking wet pussy slid down onto my caged cock, taking me inside her with absolutely no difficulty. Apparently, over time ML has gotten used to fucking me with my cage on; she rode me almost as if I wasn’t wearing it. She pushed herself down onto me, taking my cage in just about as deep as possible, with her clit rubbing against the post of the base ring.

Fucking ML with the cage on has got to be the absolute worst torture ever. My cock struggles and pushes against the cage, eager to feel ML’s warm wet pussy wrapped around it. But I can only feel it where the skin is exposed. The incomplete sensation actually makes my cock try to get even harder, as an attempt to find that missing pleasure. Meanwhile, the steel doesn’t yield at all, and I am left with an incredibly full and painful cage that feels like it might rip my balls off my body.

Add to this the maddening sensation of feeling like I might just cum at any minute, and it makes the suffering that much more unbearable. When my cock fills the cage to capacity (and more), it starts to bulge out between the bars of the cage. Sometimes, just by horrible chance, one of the most sensitive parts of my cock is helplessly exposed:

All of the sensation of ML’s pussy feels like it’s concentrated on that one spot. It’s so intense that it often feels like I am as close as I can be to orgasm without cumming – only to find out that, as ML keeps riding me, I can inch even closer as the moments go by. It’s like having an edge dragged out constantly over the course of minutes, often as ML is enjoying orgasm after orgasm on my poor aching cock.

Add to that the fact that I can never decide if I actually WANT to cum at this point or not…

I’ve found out in the past that I can have an orgasm while caged; I’ve also found out how excruciating it is to have an orgasm while caged. All of this is running through my head while I’m nearly dying from caged edging torture, and I start to think just how bad an orgasm can be at this point… is it as bad as I remember? Is it as bad as this? Does it really even matter? How much sexual torture can I stand?

All of this, while ML is soaking my cock (and the bedsheets below me) with her pussy juices.

So yeah, I was whimpering and moaning, wanting the torture to end but not wanting it to end, wanting to cum but not wanting to cum… all of this turns My Lady on even more (the whimpering, especially). More shuddering orgasms, more of her pussy squeezing and gripping my cock, more pussy juices soaking my balls…

It’s a miracle that we even got to sleep last night.

Speaking of, My Lady wouldn’t let me go to sleep until she took care of one last thing – she took her dripping wet pussy and rubbed it all over my body and face, covering me with her juices. I could feel it all over me – on my chest, on my chin… I could feel and smell it everywhere. I breathed in her delicious scent as I laid down and tried to get to sleep.

Did I say it was a mircale that I was able to fall asleep last night?

No, seriously, the doctor said I’m not allowed to orgasm until we figure out what’s going on.

And yes, I really do have a medical diagnosis code G44.82 for my sex headaches. The doctor is looking into them by doing a CT scan of my head, to start. This will at least give us something to look at and see if there is anything that obvious going on. A CT scan of the head is able to show if there is swelling, fluid in the cranial area, or any masses or abnormalities of the soft tissues. I would be getting a ct scan with contrast off the bat but I am extremely allergic to the iodine contrast dye  used so they are starting off with a plain scan. I have my appointment for that this coming Wednesday, December 7th. This really is something she is taking seriously because I do not have a history of migraines, none of my medications have changed in over 10 years, I don’t have trouble with my sinuses and this is a very new thing.  She showed a little concern as well well I mentioned a few other tid bits and said we would wait to see what the ct scan showed. 

The doctor has prescribed me some prescription strength ibuprofen and no orgasms until we get the CT scan done, radiologist reads it and we find out if there is anything going on. I’m not exactly excited about the fact that I don’t get to have orgasms but it’s not terrible timing as I just started monthly cycle anyway so at least part of the time without orgasms is tolerable. I guess I’ll just have to find fun ways to torture and tease cagedmonkey while I am unable to have my own orgasms. And don’t think I’m going to be generously handing out orgasms to any of the boys I have in chastity right now… If I can’t orgasm, no one gets to orgasm!

Anyway, just keeping you all in the loop about what’s going on and how things are progressing along. I welcome any and all prayers during this. It’s actually been quite an awful week for me emotionally. Even though I can rationally tell myself it’s gotta be nothing, I can’t help but have my crazy anxiety brain flying off the deep end wondering “what if…” 

Yes, that’s right. I’m doing one of those holiday posts with a stupid holiday theme.

Obligatory turkey picture.

Okay, so my post isn’t going to be THAT bad. The reason I usually hate holiday posts is because it always seems so forced. But, honestly, I was thinking about writing something like this last weekend… why not wait until it actually makes sense? ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s hard to write a “Things I’m Thankful For” list without having it sound like bragging, but fuck it. I’ll give it a try.

Cagedmonkey’s Thanksgiving Thankful List

1) I’m thankful that I got to cum in 2016. It may seem like a shallow thing to be thankful for, but I dare you to  say that after you’ve given up on the idea of having an orgasm for an entire year. I was ready to go the for all of 2016 without cumming, mainly because I knew that ML would hold me to it if it was her desire to go that long. Thankfully, she changed her mind after just under 10 months of denial.  I’ve been allowed a few orgasms since then, but ML has been denying me for about a week or two. Ironically, I’m more horny now than I’ve been all year…

2) I’m thankful to have a partner who shares my kinks and sexual desires. After being exposed to so many people in the kink scene over the past month (exposed meaning both “meeting” and “standing in front of while wearing nothing but my chastity cage”), I’ve come to realize that my situation is actually extremely unique. I managed to find a woman who perfectly matches my sexual needs and shares my fantasies… and luckiest of all, I happened to be married to her! The discoveries that My Lady and I have made (and continue to make) about ourselves and our relationship show us just how perfect we are for each other. On top of all that, she’s fucking sexy as hell and her pussy feels great on my cock… I couldn’t ask for more! Not everyone gets to experience this type of thing, and I’m very grateful for sharing my life with her.

3) I’m thankful for where I am in my life. Yeah, the real life emotional crap. For a while, there was a lot of uncertainty in my life. Things were going well, but it always seemed like there was something out of place that was preventing everything from clicking. But now, over the past few months, it seems like that’s changing. I have a loving wife, a wonderful family, a job I truly enjoy, and a community that I feel I fit in with. With all of the uncertainty that the future now brings with it, it feels good to have a sense of balance and know that my family and I can make it through anything life throws at us.

4) I’m thankful for these.

Obligatory huge tits pic.

You didn’t think I’d leave you without a pic of ML’s beautiful big titties, did you?

Happy Thanksgiving!

I used to think that sex before bed was the most amazing thing. Don’t get me wrong, it still is awesome, you make the sweet sweet love, have fantastic orgasms and fall asleep in each other’s arms, right? Well, not exactly! See, in our relationship sex is different, still awesome as hell, but different. Let me describe for you the way it works now, with a husband locked in chastity.

We head to bed and start running hands all over each other, kissing, licking, groping. Getting each other turned on and even more horny. Then, as my hand slides down my husbands chest and stomach, I feel that harness start near his pubic bone and then… that hard steel ring and cage encasing a cock that is trying to burst out. As much as I would love to feel that cock inside me right that second, there is a delay as we try to get his cock out of the cage so I have can it and feel him. The struggle is real people haha! Once he is out of the cage and we do manage to have sex, I am usually the only one who cums… Then we roll over and go to sleep, me satisfied and him laying there frustrated and more horny.  which in itself is a pretty fantastic thing but it’s not like it is in a traditional relationship.

I used to think that having sex and going to bed with my husband was so awesome but what I’ve realized over the past little bit is that not having that connection with him after sex makes me feel lonely and wanting, almost.  Trust me, I’m totally not complaining about having any kind of sex lol we have sex, period, and that is amazing. What I’m getting at is that I have found that morning sex is incredible for me! It really invigorates me and gets me going and starts my day in an amazing way. We wake up, we have super awesome sex and then I get to spend about 45 mins with him before he leaves for work. It just leaves me with such amazing feelings in the morning, and sometimes I’ve left even more horny too!  it’s like getting my morning coffee injection! LoL

Anyway, I just find it interesting, as I get older, how things change. How the way I feel about things changes. I love having any kind of sexual intimacy with my husband and being able to have that continued connection with him. It certainly helps after intense scenes so I don’t have Domme drop and it helps in general to have that connection. 

Do any of you (or your wives/girlfriends) feel that way? Have you noticed things like this too?

We all know that, in our relationship, I’m in charge. I decide if cagedmonkey will have sexual pleasure, when and even how he will have that pleasure. I can make him go without orgasm for a few days, a week, a year or I can even make him cum over and over in one session. I used to refer to what we did as orgasm denial but that’s not what it is, I was naive in thinking that’s all it was. I know my husband likes to be denied and I’ve known that for over 16 years but in the past 3+ years I’ve realized it’s SO much more than that. There probably are guys out there that just enjoy the orgasm denial part but it isn’t just about denial. It’s about control, orgasm control. It’s about being in control of the very deep pleasure that someone can have, it’s about controlling the existence of that pleasure. You control if they feel that feeling, when they feel it and how they feel that explosive, intense, feeling from their chest to their toes. You are in control of the most intimate of pleasure that someone can have. That’s powerful! Isn’t it? Does the thought of that power excite you? It truly is an awesome power!

Speaking of orgasm control and, control and power in general. The other morning cagedmonkey and I had a pretty hot moment. I was kissing him goodbye in the morning, as I do everyday, and I happened to reach up and grab him near the throat. I felt that twinge in my crotch and was instantly turned on. I grabbed a little harder, squeezed and tightened my grip around his throat as I kissed him. I felt and heard him let out such a delicious moan. I felt my pussy quiver and get all warm between my legs. I love the way that feels!

Immediately I got this incredible urge. It was the urge to make cagedmonkey cum… But not just make him cum in the “normal” way.  As I felt him there, in my hands, holding his very existence in my grip, I wanted to control it all. I wanted to feel the control I had over his entire body in that moment, his breath, his orgasm, his pleasure, his pain… his everything. I could almost see it in that split second, I wanted to have him laying beneath me, under me, while I was riding his cock, choking him while I make him cum nice and deep in my warm wet pussy.
I have no idea why that came over me in those few seconds but it did and it turned me on so completely. The amazing powerful feeling! Anyway, I just wanted to share with you because often I get asked what it is about all this that turns me on or any woman and for a dominate chick it really does come down to the power and control… That is the exciting part!

How long was it into the new year until you had your first orgasm? I had to wait 299 days.

As teased earlier this week on Twitter, ML brought to an end our long run of orgasm denial and gave me my first orgasm of 2016. I was WELL passed the point of wanting to be done with it, but ML finally reached the endpoint for her. And, of course, the thing that EVERYONE wants to know is, “How did it feel?” Well, it felt pretty much just as I expected it would…

Pro tip: if a guy who describes their first orgasm after months and months of denial as being this massively explosive sexual experience, gushing gallons and gallons of cum all over the place… there’s a decent chance he’s full of it.
Don’t get me wrong: it was nearly ten months since my last orgasm, so obviously it couldn’t be bad. But usually the first orgasm after a long denial is sort of mellow – it can be underwhelming if you are expecting something bigger.

The second, third, and fourth ones are MUCH better. ๐Ÿ˜‰

My Lady has some difficulty after allowing me to cum – she was wrestling with feelings of failure. We were trying to go the entire year without an orgasm for me, and we didn’t make it. There were a few people who felt the same way when ML was talking about it on Twitter – “Keep pushing, you can make it!” was a popular response. “Don’t give up, you’ve gone so far!” was another. But I don’t think it’s a failure at all.

Yes, we set out to do a year of denial… but anything we’ve ever done in our chastity/orgasm denial play has always been done with the concept of “if we aren’t having fun, then we won’t do it” attached to it. And for the past couple of weeks, the denial was becoming less fun and more work. Although ML was having fun teasing me, she was tired of waiting for some good, hard fucking from me (instead having to settle for slow, careful sex).

So, My Lady decided to let me cum. She didn’t break down, she didn’t lose her nerve… she decided. And, deep down, that’s what we both want: for her to decide.

I bet you expected to see this post from Cagedmonkey, huh? Well, too bad, it’s from me. We are just about at the tenth month of this year long orgasm denial which, in itself, is pretty amazing. I’m pretty proud of myself for getting this far through this. So toward the end of last year, when we talked about this whole year long denial we always said if I wanted to stop for any reason we would. If it ever wasn’t fun anymore, or we weren’t enjoying it, we would stop. There is no way I would take something like that lightly or just decide on a whim that I was done.

For about the last month I’ve had off and on feelings about this whole year of denial thing. I’ve thought a lot about if I want to continue. It’s taken me about a month to finally get to a point where I knew I needed to actually make a decision. I noticed, recently, that when I thought about the denial, I’d almost start feeling down about it. Even more recently, thinking about sex was making me feel horny and, yes, excited but also I felt down… I’d start to feel blah and almost not want to have sex. Not that I didn’t want to but that feeling was there. I had to ask myself, why? Well, that why is because sex, for me, was not feeling satisfying. I wasn’t feeling fulfilled after. Yes, I get to cum and get pleased like crazy all the time but for some reason not seeing and feeling CM satisfied (especially inside me) is not giving me what I need. There is some part of our intimacy missing and it’s that moment when we are both in an intensely sexy moment, feeling that amazing feeling that I’m missing. In a way I feel sort of let down and maybe kind of lacking because I’m not getting his satisfaction. It’s so weird, I know, but that’s how it is.

I guess it’s difficult to explain how hard it is to keep someone denied for so long when you’re sexual with them on a daily basis. Sex, for me right now, just feels incomplete. I feel like I’m left hanging and really I am not one who enjoys denial or frustration. As much as I love denying him and frustrating him, I do still love seeing his satisfaction. It makes me feel good and like I’m doing something right. Like I said, it’s weird and hard to explain but it’s just what it is.

Someone asked earlier today, when I was telling them about all this, what is so important about the 12 months? What made us decide to do it? Honestly, there isn’t anything all that important about it. It was just something to try after trying so many other things lol. We really just wanted to see if we could do it, I guess. Other than I know I could do it, the past 10 months has helped me see that I actually do need to see and feel CM satisfied, at least once in a while! 

So, give it a couple days and then feel free to ask CM how it feels to cum after being teased and denied his orgasm for about ten months! Haha ๐Ÿ™‚ I guess he’ll know, at some point, I’m going to tell him to cum after he reads this!