Marriage

Most of you should know we bought a house recently and moved, and if you don’t, where the hell have you been? 🙂 Anyway, moving and updating the house and painting and everything has been a lot of work. We’ve gotten a lot done but do have some other projects we need to work on this summer. First things first, I REALLY want my microwave installed instead of sitting in a box on my kitchen floor! So, anyway, we moved into the house last week and have been working hard to get unpacked, which is tiring and annoying. We’re just trying to get back into the swing of things while half of what we own is still packed away and we are wading through boxes on a daily basis.

While moving in last week and the week before we met some of our new neighbors! It just so happens our one neighbor right next door is a couple of kinksters, married with kids! It’s been extremely fun getting to know them, needless to say! They are a bit younger than us, she is a pretty kinky young lady and identifies as a switch (with some brattiness!) while her hubby is more on the vanilla side but they are totally getting into learning rope and exploring this whole fun world we live. 

Borrowed Image – may be subject to copyright

So we also found out that one of our couple friends that we met at the munch, and who we’ve been to a private dungeon party a couple times with, also live in the same subdivision, not too far from us. So it seems we picked the right place to live when we chose this house!

What’s really interesting is the potential with our next door neighbor. Since she’s switchy and her hubby doesn’t want her playing with men, it kinda works perfectly in my desire to play with and Domme a girl. She’s actually a cute little bbw girl too and she’s also a photographer so… There’s just really a lot of potential in both friendship and who knows what else. 

Oh! And she’s a great writer so I’m trying to see if she’d like me to set her up a blog hosted through our server on fetblogger. So maybe you guys will be reading her stories soon and perhaps seeing some of her pics!

I was asked this really great question recently so I thought I would take a minute to write here about it. I’m sure some of our readers who are in control would appreciate it. Then again, some of you in the submissive role may like to know this stuff too. 

“…doesn’t it make you feel bad sometimes when you deny your hubby for so so long? Do you ever feel guilty?”

There actually was a time, when we first started this whole chastity and longer term denial thing, that I would describe my feelings as guilt. Now that we are almost 4 years into this there are zero feelings of guilt. There doesn’t need to be any. 4 years ago my hubby asked me to take control of his sexual pleasure. He wanted me to be the one to decide if, when and how he would orgasm. I gladly accepted that role and took control over that pleasure for him. So why would I feel guilty about giving him something he wanted in the first place? That’s something us dominant types can forget sometimes… but when someone completely offers themselves to us we need to not feel guilty about accepting the responsibility.

Cagedmonkey naturally craves and needs to be controlled and I naturally crave and need to be in control. It makes us both feel fulfilled and content in our relationship and in our life. It fits us so well to accept these roles. 

So, in short, no I don’t feel bad or guilty about denying him orgasm or even keeping him locked in that steel cage and even controlling him to the point of when he gets a full erection. I love knowing that he is THAT controlled, down to something even HE can’t control! I love knowing he has a pretty constant reminder of me and the fact that I control him and he sexual organs and pleasure. It’s mine to enjoy, he gave me that. He offered me that gift and it’s one of the best things and shows such deep love and respect and, more importantly, trust. It makes me feel great, not guilty! 

ML’s last post was about the search for balance. Recently, I’ve been wanting to search for something else: intensity.

Don’t get me wrong at all – our sex life is pretty damn intense as it is. In fact, ML and I often joke about how, when other guys say that they wish they could be as lucky as I am, that they might have second thoughts once they realize just how passionate My Lady is when it comes to dominating me. Sometimes it’s a miracle that I can handle it!

So, there’s no shortage of awesome sex in our household. But there are certain things that I miss, particularly about when we first started our “rekindling.” Some examples:

– squirting: ML’s ability to squirt is still pretty impressive, but there were times where ML’s pussy would squirt like a fountain and soak the seat of my car on our date nights.

– ML’s spontaneous orgasms: I remember making eye contact with ML from across the room and watching her as she made herself cum without touching her pussy or anything, just using her imagination to get herself off. I was so turned on by that… and jealous, too!

ML and I talked about these things the other night, and we realized that yes, those were very intense times for our relationship. Things were new, fun, and exciting… dare I say, could it be that things have gotten… STALE?

Okay, it’s not THAT bad… sex with ML is still pretty fucking amazing. But yeah, things are less intense than they were.

After some more talking (communication, people, it works, hehe), we realized what has changed: we aren’t doing the “little lovey” things we used to do. Things like leave each other tiny love notes here and there, the “non-sexual” hugs and kisses (that eventually lead to sex, but weren’t intended for that), and other tiny gestures that feed the emotional connection of our marriage.

You see, My Lady has an interesting mental/physical connection – when she feels emotionally in tune with me, she gets really really horny… and unbelievably wet. Like, seriously, it’s like a flood in her panties. And it’s this connection that leads to those intense moments. So, we’ve decided to try to bring those feelings and those moments back… not just for more squirting and orgasms-on-demand, but because our marriage and our love truly flourishes when we focus on those things.

Of course, those other pussy-related results would be great perks, as well. 🙂

Vanilla, Kinky, Marriage, Kids – It’s a balancing act. As you know we recently started going to some munches and getting together with new friends in our kinky world, not to mention we bought a new house and our kids activities all week after school and on weekends. Life has felt much like a whirlwind and slightly like trying to balance spinning plates on poles – I’ll have to admit I’m not that great at balancing. In the one who troops and falls UP the stairs lol. I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of the little behind the scenes things that need to happen in life to make things go smoothly. 

It’s really awesome having friends and we love getting together with them and going to munches but for a bit there I really felt like so much of my time was looking for ways to get rid of the kids for the night so we could go to munches or other kinky events. I started to feel like I was missing and losing out on the family time with my husband and kids that is so very important while they are this age. It felt like every weekend we were constantly running and doing something or going somewhere. 

In the midst of kids and life and going out and getting involved in all these new fun things our kinky play together has gotten lost… again balance! It’s been extremely hard to find time for family time, kinky time, vanilla hubby/wife time, friend time… all of it. I get feelings of inadequacy when I can’t make time for it all, when I can’t find the necessary balance to fit it all in. I’m sure people have noticed that I’ve pulled back a bit, I’m not as active as I was, I’m not as chatty as I was. I’m still struggling to find what I need to make it all work and, right now, I’m trying to focus on my family, my kids, buying this house and all the little things that come along with that and getting back my kinky time with cagedmonkey. I miss it… I miss the intense tease and denial and the playtime we would have. I miss being crazy horny for each other all the time. There are things I miss that we would do more consistently. We keep trying to get in rope trial time and just the different things we enjoy about our kink. It just feels like it is constantly getting set aside because there is something else that needs to come first… Like sleep, work, kids, whatever.

Anyway, just letting you all in to where I am and how I’ve been feeling. I’m working to pull those things together and find that balance and I know I will I just feel like I suck at it right now and I’m letting every one down. 

So, My Lady and I are buying a house.

Trust me, we are surprised as to how quickly it happened, too!

ML and I have been “window shopping” for houses for a little while, fantasizing about setting up our own little playroom in an extra bedroom. But we weren’t getting all that deep into it just yet. We were eyeing a house here and there, but there weren’t many that were all that interesting… and the ones that were kept getting sold before we could even go and see them!

And so it went until yesterday, when we lined up a few houses to go see with our real estate agent. The first two were nothing special, but the last one we saw had that “feeling” to it – I remember standing in the kitchen and thinking to myself, “Yeah, I could totally live here.” On the way back home, ML and I decided to put an offer in on the house.

ML called our agent when we got in the door; she had bad news – the sellers had gotten an offer that morning and had already sent out a counter offer! I mean, seriously… does everyone just automatically want what we want?

So, missed out again, right?

Oh no… not this time.

ML and I decided that we wanted this house. So we said, “screw that ‘counter offer’ noise, we’re buying this house.” We called the real estate agent back and told her to put in an offer – hey, if it ain’t sold yet, it ain’t sold!

We knew it was a race against time – if the other buyer accepted the counter offer, it didn’t matter if we offered the moon. We weren’t going to get into a bidding war, however – if they countered our offer, we were ready to walk away. So we put our offer in, and waited…

… we waited about five minutes before we got a call back.

Offer accepted!

That wasn’t the only deal that went down yesterday: during our celebratory sex, I really wanted to cum. So ML said she’d allow me to, but my next orgasm would have to be in our new house. Of course, I took the deal.

According to our signed offer, closing is in 60 days…

Assuming that My Lady doesn’t get the urge to unlock me later tonight (and there’s no reason to think that she will), tomorrow will make it 3 full weeks into 2017… three full weeks that I have been locked in the Jailbird, day and night. Three full weeks of my cock throbbing and struggling inside the bars of my chastity cage. Three full weeks of troubled sleep thanks to unattainable nighttime erections.

Three full weeks of nothing anywhere near this.

Three full weeks of realizing that I look pretty damn sexy with my cock locked in chastity.

The “longest lockup” benchmark for me is quickly approaching, and this time around it seems as though ML is perfectly content to let it continue. I, of course, am getting really desperate… but there is a not-so-small part of me that actually enjoys the idea of being driven even further insane by my need for a simple erection. In fact, I can’t deny or ignore the fact that my cock slowly fills my cage whenever I think about it.

Now, there is NO way I’d be able to handle being locked up over a span of multiple months. I really do need the freedom of getting hard and fucking ML (at least occasionally), and I know ML feels the same. I was actually surprised this time around that we’ve gone so long – two days ago was the first time ML and I didn’t have penetrative sex on our anniversary. As horrible as that sounds, though, it didn’t feel out of the ordinary at all.

This is who we are now. This is our love; this is our marriage – my wife keeps my cock locked in a steel chastity cage for as long as she wants, uses my cock for her pleasure, and teases and denies me orgasms until she wants me to experience that pleasure. It’s amazing, and it couldn’t be any more perfect for either of us. I need this, and My Lady needs it just as much. 

That doesn’t make waiting weeks for a full erection any easier, though.

It’s a new year once again! Time can go by so damn quick sometimes – it seems like just yesterday ML and I were thinking about what was in store for us in 2016. I thought it would be fun to see what we got right and what we got wrong.

Let’s see…

…we’ll be moving into a new house…

Yeah, that didn’t happen. Instead of settling in, putting down roots, and building a new house for ourselves (with an extra bedroom set aside for a playroom); we ended up moving out-of-state (AGAIN), into an apartment (AGAIN), for a new job (AGAIN). We’re in a much better situation now, though… and we got a really nice new bed out of it, too!

…adding some exciting new features to our blog…

Something we were right about! This year we started recording our podcast, which turned out to be even more awesome than we expected. We’ve received great feedback from many of our readers/followers, and we have a ton of fun doing it!

… My Lady is going to deny me orgasms for the entire year…

You can’t say that we didn’t try. And it’s not like ML let me off easy – going 299 days without an orgasm is extremely difficult, with or without her near-constant teasing driving me insane. I doubt we will be trying another major denial period anytime soon; the ideal wasn’t easy for ML, either. Then again, we don’t really expect to plan out my denial periods too much, so who really knows if we’ll end up doing it again?

One thing that 2016 has taught us is that no matter how certain you are about something, you can never fully know what’s in store. My Lady and I learned a while ago that trying to predict the future is a waste of time. We live without expectations. What will we find in 2017? What will we be doing? Where will we be this time next year? I have no fucking idea… but My Lady and I will have fun getting there. 🙂

Have a happy and horny new year!

I have to admit, my sex life is pretty damn great at the moment. Not only are My Lady and I having the time of our lives with each other, we’ve been enjoying the opportunity to share this side of our lives with some “like minded” people that we have met recently. It’s been crazy and fun and exciting all at the same time.

But then, sometimes, I just wanna tell real life to go screw itself.

I understand that ML and I are more than just kinky bloggers on the internet – we are people, parents, family members. We have situations that come up that are more important than finding a new way for ML to torture me sexually. I know this, and I accept this… but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

It has been a little while since ML and I have enjoyed some serious play time together. Since we moved, we have been able to take advantage of Grandma’s babysitting services; this allowed us to have some time with no kids in the house (so we could be as loud as we wanted, wink wink) and we also found time to go to a couple of fetish meet-ups in our area (more on that later). It was something that was difficult to set up in the past, thanks to living so far away from our families and the somewhat special needs of our daughter requiring more than your garden variety babysitter. So, as you can imagine, it was a relief to not have to worry about having the kids in the house when, for instance, ML wanted to lock me in the stockade and abuse my ass with the fucking machine.

So, as you can also imagine, it was kind of a letdown when plans fell through to leave the kids at Grandma’s for Thanksgiving weekend. I’ll admit I have an issue with expectations, although I’m much better than I used to be. But when it’s been a while since My Lady and I have had time to play, and we are looking forward to a weekend of the house to ourselves… it’s hard not to feel like I’m being screwed (and not in any of the ways I was hoping for).

It just seems like whenever ML and I want to get some time in for some fun, we never quite get around to it. Our podcast is a great example: we’ve had tons of fun recording our podcast episodes, and we are so happy that they’ve become so popular with our followers. We’ve wanted to do an episode on the fetish meet-up that we went to for weeks now, but various distractions keep popping up (work schedule, kids schedule, appointments, etc.). It’s frustrating, to say the least.

Like I said, I’ve been doing a lot better with this type of thing lately… but I can’t help it when those feelings of “when again?” start to materialize. I know that I can just be patient, that we have plenty of time together – the other day, ML and I were talking about anniversary plans for years ahead, and ML said, “I think, when we hit our 20th anniversary, I’m just going to be totally wet all the time” (how great is that???) – but I don’t want to be patient. I want more of the good stuff. 🙂

So I’ve been craving something “scene-y” for the past couple of days; not really anything crazy or new, but just something intense. Acknowledging the craving is okay, because I know it’s not something I will go without for long. I’m just trying to stop myself from asking that all-too-familiar question of mine: “When?”

A couple of weeks ago cagedmonkey and I had the pleasure of being part of and officiating a kinky wedding for a couple of our best friends. It was a very small home ceremony but do you really need more than just a few people to witness such an amazing thing between two people? We loved every minute of being part of this with them. Our evening started off with dinner and just your everyday hanging out while a couple friends arrived and we got the kids to bed. This beautiful ceremony was celebrated by our Mistress and slave couple, cagedmonkey and I and another Domme and her sub husband. We all had a few drinks but not too much that we were sloshed! At about midnight or so – just to make sure the kids were good and asleep! – our lovely couple went to get dressed in their ceremony clothing. Mistress was dressed in a lovely red lace baby doll style top and her slave bride wearing a beautiful white wedding dress, with “Bride” panties and some gorgeous heels. He was put together by the Domme friend who helped with his make up, did his hair and got his tiara in place – we wouldn’t want his Mistress to see the bride before the wedding, would we? Before we began cagedmonkey and the sub husband were told to remove their clothes and us ladies stayed dressed. The ceremony began with the couple standing facing each other while cagedmonkey addressed them and there is no way that I can describe the heartfelt and very funny words he used, so I decided to just copy and paste the bulk of his words here in this post. I’ve obviously took the names out of it and replaced them with “Mistress” and “slave.” 🙂

We gather here today to celebrate the joining of “Mistress” and “slave” in kinky matrimony. The love and sexual connection that these two share is something that should be cherished in today’s world, where “kinky” is no longer specific enough.The fact that a man who enjoys being dominated and feminized can find a woman who desires her very own she-male slut bride is a true blessing in this life.

It is a slave’s mission to show devotion to his mistress, and to serve her from head to toe. It is a slave’s mission to make his mistress feel beautiful from head to toe, and to service all of her needs at a moment’s notice no matter what the situation. In order to show his commitment and devotion, “slave” will now worship the feet of “Mistress” until she feels truly adored and satisfied.

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A slave must give himself fully to his mistress. He must sacrifice himself for the sake of his mistress’s desires, no matter how painful or difficult that sacrifice must be. As a gift for his new mistress, “slave” will now present himself to “Mistress” for a full and thorough spanking.

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The responsibilities in a D/s relationship do not lie with the submissive alone; the dominant must control the submissive in an appropriate way. A mistress must keep her slave, hold him as her own, and control him in a way that the slave ultimately needs. To show her willingness to control in this way, “Mistress” will now plug “slave’s” ass and take her control over him to a “deeper” level.

And now, it is time for the exchanging of vows:

“slave” – Do you promise to give yourself to “Mistress”, to dress as her slutty she-male bride whenever she wants, to subject yourself to every filthy desire she may have, to serve her needs in any way she requires, for as long as you both shall live?

“Mistress” – Do you promise to take “Slave” as your personal love slave, to use him sexually in ways even he cannot imagine, to force him to wear slutty woman’s clothing whenever you wish, to show him the fullness of your control over him whenever he needs to feel it, for as long as you both shall live?

With the unofficial power invested in me, by nobody in particular, I now pronounce you “Mistress” and “Slave.”

…You may now milk the slut-bride.

It truly was a beautiful night, and I don’t even think you can see, in the picture, how dark those marks are from the spanking he received. There were three things Mistress used to give him his beating. She used her crop (which I know you can see a good mark from it in the picture above), the quirt whip and the wooden paddle her slave so generously handmade for her with love.

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The slave bride was plugged with a rather large jeweled plug, it was so pretty when his Mistress spread his ass and presented it to the guests. During the exchanging of the vows our couple exchanged some jewelry that really had a lot of special meaning for them. After such a long night the “you may now milk the bride” didn’t go as planned. I believe the slave bride was awfully tired and mixed with the alcohol not a whole lot was happening. The overall night was amazing though and it didn’t even matter about that. We were completely blessed to be able to share this with our friends and we want to wish them so many more years together, forever, to enjoy this life!!

One thing I loved was, after the ceremony, I was able to try out the crop (it’s a bit more sturdy than mine!) and the quirt whip. The quirt was amazing and I totally want one! 🙂 The Domme friend also had a good time lining up her sub husband and the bride next to each other and going at their bottoms with the crop and the quirt again. Us ladies got quite the chuckle out of them as they stood there squirming from her swatting their asses. We had a wonderful time, met some fantastic new friends and enjoyed sharing in the love of this couple. Thank you for allowing us to be part of it!! We love you!!

I realized today means quite a bit to me. November 21, 2013 has such a depth for me and I realized it when I was looking back at those silly memory things on Facebook. It means more than the day cagedmonkey handed me the keys to his chastity cage and asked that I take control of the most intimate parts of himself. That day, in itself, was such a beautiful moment, him kneeling in front of me and telling me that nothing would make him happier than for me to accept the keys and take full control. I do wish I could remember those exact words but the moment sticks in my mind anyway. 

However, wearing a chastity device, a removable device, is one thing but agreeing to be permanently marked, showing your devotion and submission and your love is something completely deeper. Today, three years ago, I took cagedmonkey to get his Chastity tattoo and I absolutely love that he has given himself completely to me. I am his and he is mine, we belong to each other and with each other. I can feel it every time I touch his skin. Almost 17 years later and it still feels electric. It’s comforting feeling his arms around me. 

Thank you, my darling subby hubby, for being mine and not being afraid to make it permanent and forever. I will forever wear your key as you wear my lock!