KeyHolder

Over the past couple weeks cagedmonkey and I have been talking a lot about his orgasm denial. When we started this whole denial thing 15 years ago, the longest we ever made it was one month denied. Usually the tease and denial lasted a short time from one play session to hours or days. It was so hard to get to that point back then. Since we started with male chastity over 2 years ago, denying him comes a little easier.

Hubby and I have learned something over the past two years. While there are some things we totally are not interested in, there are some things that are well, interesting to look at or think and fantasize about. Maybe we will never try them but we’ve learned that we can never say never, simply because there have been things we’ve tried and been like “whoa that was awesome, no idea why I like it but I do” and there have also been things that we were like “nope didn’t like that and never doing that again.”

When it comes to hubby’s orgasm denial, two years ago we never thought we’d make it to one month let alone the 3 or 4 we get to now. Our conversations recently have gone on to talking about 6 months to a year of orgasm denial. We have actually talked a lot about if we really think that we could do one year. Really the discussion is whether I could make it denying him for an entire year. He really has no choice in the matter. Two and a half years ago my husband ask me to take complete control sexually. I gladly took control of when and if he receives any sexual pleasure and if, when and how he will orgasm. So it basically comes down to, if I choose to deny him for a year, he will be denied for a year.

One of the things I made quite clear to him was that I could probably pretty easily keep him denied orgasm for a year but there was absolutely no way in hell I could keep him locked in a device that long without having him. I told him I NEED him, NEED his cock and NEED the connection of intimacy with him. I can manage to lock him 24/7 for about a month but I struggle by the end. That is something I will say never about… I will NEVER keep him locked in a device unused for a year. I know for a fact I could never.

So denial of orgasm for a year I can totally see happening and we are going to spend 2016 trying to get there but I will be unlocking and using him for my pleasure as often as I damn well please! 🙂

What about you? Do you think you could be denied for 6 months? A year? Do you think you could deny your guy his orgasm that long? Do you think your keyholder could keep you denied that long?

I just think this is the sexiest thing… My beautiful subby hubby locked up in a steel cock cage for me. It really doesn’t get any better than this.

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In other news… I’m extremely horny and I’m going to masturbate, probably multiple times today, because I am not locked in a cage and I can! 🙂

Yesterday, cagedmonkey got out of the shower and came out into the living room in his tshirt and underwear. While I think it’s super sexy, I had to point out that he needed to be careful. He happened to be wearing a pair of white microfiber boxers and, well, they hug in just the right places!
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I do love catching a glimpse of his cage like that but we also need to be careful of stuff like that so the kids don’t. It’s awesome seeing him locked up, for me.

A little while ago we took a small break from, “you’ll be locked XX long…” and “you won’t cum for XX days…” and things got very relaxed and unknown and, dare I say, UNFRUSTRATING. It was ok and it was nice not to have to plan things out for a bit but it also made me realize I actually enjoy planning things out. I enjoy knowing what I will be doing next and, even if I decide to change things along the way, having a basic plan for things makes things more comfortable for me and cagedmonkey (I think). A few weeks ago I decided that, as a couple doing the male chastity thing, we needed some good intense D/s feelings. I wanted cagedmonkey to feel a deep sense of my control. With the relaxed unknown there also seemed to be less feeling of control.

To put that sense of control back in full force, I decided to keep cagedmonkey locked 24/7 in his Jail Bird with zero release. I figured a good month would get him in the proper, super horny and submissive mindset. Well it certainly has not taken that long to get his dick to understand as he wrote. I actually love that he is back to being full time horny as fuck and dripping precum!

Not only did I feel we needed some cage time without parole but I knew with the relaxed attitude and everything else going on (ie. Job searching, moving, etc) that the dominance and intensity level were sinking. I think we’ve both felt it. I mean, we both know who’s in charge, but the servicing and pleasing me part was quickly becoming nonexistent. I know why I backed down from the domination and it’s because cagedmonkey was already stressed out enough and, I feared, pushing him might cause some pretty bitchy behavior. I don’t like bitchy behavior.

So the other day, now that hubby’s new job and our new home is settled, I felt it was time to bring back the aggressive, domination. I started using cagedmonkey for my pleasure all day long and utterly frustrating him. His cage was pushing hard away from his body and his cock struggling so hard against the confines of his Jail Bird. I restrained him to the bed and visited very often using his face, caged cock and any other part of his body to get myself off. He was left there all day covered in my cum. He ultimately broke the cuffs that day, so we will have to get another pair that are comfortable enough for him to sleep in and for long term.

It’s been fun bringing back my dominance and letting out my aggressively horny self. I love the way he looks at me when I grab him and take him and get forceful and aggressive. That “holy shit I love this” look in his eye as I do things to him and make him please me just the way I want to be pleased.

I can’t get enough and I look forward to letting more of my natural aggressiveness take over in the coming weeks. I’ve got powerful cravings for power and control and dominance. Hubby has a week off at the end of July, too and I plan to take advantage of his time off work. 🙂

The other day I wrote about how I was taking a break from setting a “Maybe Day” for cagedmonkey. I got quite a few comments on the post, all of them kind of referring to the same thing, so I thought I should clarify a few things. I don’t want there to be any mistake about who is in control at any point in our relationship. However, a relationship is about two people and you need to do the things that work for each person so that emotionally and physically there is fulfillment.

Let’s back up some and get a little more personal. Cagedmonkey has allowed me to explain a few things about his childhood so you all understand him a little more. When hubby was a child his mom was very much a “don’t rock the boat” type person and he was more on the high strung side. As a way to avoid confrontation (or hubby having a temper tantrum lol) his mother would say things like “maybe later” or “we’ll see” never really giving him a straight answer. She didn’t want to be the one to tell him “No,” because he might get upset. It was sort of drilled into him that those “maybe’s” and “we’ll see’s” always meant no. Cagedmonkey is also the type of guy that needs to know that SOMETHING is definitely going to happen or not happen and SOME kind of time frame that it is going to happen or not happen in. Even if that time frame is “Yes, you WILL cum 3 more times in 2015” that gives him something to depend on. Whether or not he cums 9 times or only the 3 he has something to hold on to. He was pushed off by his mother and it felt like he was lied to so much as a child as a way to appease him that now as an adult he really does need to have something he can count on to ease his anxiety.

So, as I said, I got a few comments on my last post, like this one from one of my favorite ladies…

Mistress Marie said:

I love that you are changing this as this is how it really should be, you in full control with CM being clueless to know what your thoughts are on when he will cum. I think this is great because any day can be maybe day this way and he will never know.

I wanted to make sure that I addressed these comments because they make it seem like giving Cagedmonkey a “maybe day” is somehow taking away my control. This is entirely not true. I am in full control of his orgasms and sexual pleasure and I can give him and orgasm or not whenever and however I please. He is always clueless as to when I may make him cum. Heck, sometimes I’m clueless because it might creep up on me that I want him to! 🙂 Just because he has a maybe day does not mean I am stuck denying him until a certain date. I could give him a maybe date of July 4th and make him cum 5 mins later. The maybe day is a comforting thing for his anxiety and can be a challenge for me and him at times too.  Our last maybe date was set out at 6 months from his last orgasm. I wanted to try to push him (and myself) to 6 months of denial. I obviously didnt make it but that was MY choice because, after all, I am in control and I made the decision to allow him to cum – which was more for my pleasure than his. I didnt do it for him, I did it because I missed feeling him explode inside me. I missed feeling his body as he was cumming. I missed seeing his face and watching him enjoy that orgasm.

Since I told Cagedmonkey about needing the break he’s been very anxious, asking a lot of questions, making sure I’m not just pushing him off. He really was having trouble with the way things were up in the air. He really needs something solid to hold on to to function properly. I love that I know this about my hubby and while I did the up in the air thing on purpose to test out if he could handle it, I found a way to help him emotionally while leaving me to not deal with a maybe date. In other words, I found a loop hole of sorts to ease his anxiety. lol

I have decided instead of a maybe day where I’m trying to deny him until a certain date or time frame that I would simply give him an idea of what to expect for the time being. I explained to him that he could expect to be locked everyday, especially on his work days. He could expect to be denied but likely not more than a week or two and if I was enjoying myself and felt it would go longer I would tell him. He could also expect to be teased and tormented daily. I certainly do enjoy the build up of horny and I love that week to ten day point where it is at a high. That’s why at the moment his denial probably wouldn’t be much past that. I also told him he could fully expect that I could unlock him, use him and make him cum at any time during any of this. This seemed to go over very well and he seems to be much more calm about things and had stopped obsessing over when and how long, etc. Of course, this really is how it is EVERY day but it seemed to REALLY help to have me actually say the words and explain it out right to him. All of those things have been understood since we started all this but I think hearing them and seeing them written helped to give him that thing he needs to depend on and hold on to. He knows that I wont just tell him “we’ll see” and then not having something happen one way or the other. Cagedmonkey is just not that guy when we’re having sex and he asks “please may I cum, ma’am?” who can be told “maybe, baby.” He really needs a “yes, but not right now” or a “No, not tonight” answer.

I hope this helps clarify why we need to have a maybe day. Even if it kind of has no meaning (unless we are using it as a challenge for both of us) because, I control everything about his sexual pleasure anyway, it helps him mentally to know I’m not going to flake out on him like his mom would often do.

 

 

The other day, after I allowed cagedmonkey to cum, we had a chat about what I had planned going forward.

It’s amazing to think that we are coming up on 2 years that I’ve been fully controlling hubby’s orgasms and sexual pleasure. Our actual chastity device wearing didn’t begin until October 2013 but it was June of that year that he asked me to take full control. We’ve been into tease and orgasm denial our entire relationship – that’s over 15 years! – but never to the extent that we are now. It was much shorter before, hours, days and the longest we had ever give over the years was a month. Now we hardly blink if I’ve kept him denied of orgasm for 3 months.

This last period of denial (which was actually 106 days, I think) was the longest I’ve had him denied. Getting to 3 months was actually pretty easy once it got there though it was almost excruciating for me to go the next two weeks or so that I made it. I was aching to feel him cum inside me. To feel his body shudder as he had that first orgasm after being denied so long. I truly missed how it felt to have that with him. It’s one thing to have sex or make love and not have him explode into me and it’s completely another to share that amazing feeling as we are cumming together in the high of sexual pleasure.

So, I told cagedmonkey that I wanted to take a break. For a second he looked at me, very sad, thinking I wanted to stop chastity and orgasm denial altogether. That wasn’t it at all! I comforted my confused boy and explained that I wanted a break from “Maybe day” and from pushing him and myself to go longer and longer in his denial. This decision had nothing at all to do with his chastity. As a matter of fact, I love that and he will be without his device very rarely for probably the rest of our lives. 🙂

I don’t know if cagedmonkey is still confused about what I mean but I have had to explain a couple times. What I want is to control his orgasms, which I already do. That doesn’t mean I’m going to have him out of his cage, fucking him every day, making him cum. It means I’m going to decide moment to moment if I want that or if I want to deny him. I could literally not feel it one minute and yet another be like, “oh fuck baby cum in me!” I guess it might depend on how physically turned on I am, how emotionally turned on I am our how deliciously evil I’m feeling.

That’s really where I’m at right now. I don’t want to have to deny him, I don’t want to have to make him cum. I want to just control it moment to moment and if I feel like denying him for a week or 3, so be it. I just don’t want the set periods of time right now. I need a break from constantly pushing further and further.

I think this will ultimately be fun but also I think it’s already a bit frustrating for him. Like I said I’m not sure if he thought taking a break from denial meant that he’d cum every time we had sex or that HE’D get to choose when. That’s not it at all, I’m not handing him back control of his sexual pleasure at all. I’m just liberating myself from set periods of time that I have to try to do or fear disappointing him or myself because I didn’t make it to the time frame I was hoping.

I’m going to enjoy this and, when will we set a time again? I have no idea but I’m sure it won’t be too long because I do love that build up of horny while getting that denial going, trust me! 🙂

It’s amazing to think how far we’ve come. I remember starting out with male chastity and being so turned on by it I could barely keep him locked for days at a time. Let alone weeks or months like we do now. I wasn’t able, back then, to even deny him that long because I just NEEDED it. I needed to feel him inside me filling me up, exploding his warmth deep into me. I really love it. I love that feeling of his cock throbbing and pulsing with each spurt of his cum.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s any easier or I’m not turned on by keeping my husband in a chastity device and controlling his orgasms. It’s just as bad and I need him just as much. The difference is I think we both enjoy the thrill much more now that comes from the longer term denial. The intense horny feelings inside that grow and grow and never seem to stop growing. I think we both enjoy the sexual pull between us, that constant want and desire to be with each other, to do for one another, to please the other.

Yesterday I was chatting with someone who told me they were basically climbing out of their skin by the time they were locked 3 or 4 days. It got me thinking… How long had it been now for cagedmonkey? I counted the days, 80. It’s been 80 horny, frustrating, intensely sexual days and I’d barely noticed the actual time involved. I’d only known that it’d been awhile and fuck I’ve been frustrated but, yeah, it’s been 80… Well over 80 now… days since I’ve allowed my husband to have an orgasm.

I will say that some part of me is not happy with this arrangement lol I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday about how I didn’t want to do this anymore. But it was short lived after having a good chat with cagedmonkey. He did express that he wanted to cum so bad that if I was looking for support in not letting him that he wasn’t able to give it. He would only be able to encourage me to let him cum. LoL He’s so cute when he’s this horny.

I guess when he starts to get comfortable with his horny level and I’m not seeing the frustration, it feels like I’m not good enough at my job. My job is to tease and frustrate the living hell out of him, to make him so horny he’s asking and begging to cum. During these longer term lock ups every so often we get to these plateaus and that’s when we need some intense tease our domination session to kick that horny in the ass and ramp it up a bit more.

I need know what I’m doing is working. I need to know what I’m doing is worth it. I need to know I’m worth it.

I hate those times when I feel disconnected from cagedmonkey. This past week or so of him being sick is apparently getting to me. I had to stop yesterday and sit down and talk to him because I could feel myself overanalyzing, worrying and wondering. Not about anything in particular, because I don’t truly have any weird signs but just overall about the lack of connection. So rather than do the normal “woman” thing when I started to feel that, I went right to cagedmonkey to tell him these, in a way, irrational feelings I was having.

What I normally would do is just hold it in, push the feelings aside and not really acknowledge or deal with them. I learned the hard way that doing those things is nothing more than the perfect way for me to spiral emotionally out of control and to start fabricating a million different reasons as to why he doesn’t love me. Rationally, I know this is ridiculous but emotionally and hormonally, I’m a woman. We are built this way.

Anyway I sat down yesterday morning with cagedmonkey and told him I was feeling disconnected. We talked about why I might be feeling that and without the physical love between us, I think a little ptsd was kicking in. I am so busy and getting worn from taking care of him while he’s been sick, the kids, the house and realized that no one is taking care of me. I started to miss the feeling of being wanted, cared for, desired physically. Not that I need him to do things for me, but I do like that he wants to. With him being sick those “I’m going to do this for her because it’s helpful and she will know I’m thinking of her and focused on her” things don’t happen. Those “hey honey I set up your coffee maker to brew for the morning so you don’t have to” little things that make me feel like he wants to see me smile and swoon aren’t there. Anyway, without those things I started to get those “I’ll just have do it all myself” feelings again and I knew those were not ok feelings, he’s sick and I don’t have to do it all myself. Those things will be back, his dick is still locked in a cage for me and when I can get back to teasing him properly everyday and using him for my pleasure everything will be back to normal.

The good thing about communicating is that simply telling him and acknowledging that I was feeling that way made a huge difference for me in my emotional state. Communicating also brings him into my head and he is then able to give what he can to help me not feel the way I do. If he never knows what silly irrational thoughts I’m having, how can he show me or tell me they are silly irrational thoughts? I rob him of the opportunity to adjust his behavior and to support me. It’s as if I am going to battle, alone, in my own head. It’s better to have someone there fighting with you and for you.

My love, my protector, the guardian of my heart and soul… my knight in literal shining armor 🙂

Over the past few days I have been teasing and teasing cagedmonkey and not really giving him much of a break at all. Once he’s this horny I do love to continuously drive him completely bonkers. He’s so hair trigger horny that he gets instantly hard if he’s not in his cage and he easily gets “rooty” if he is in it.

Since he’s been off work the past couple days, and I’m due to start my period, I decided to have him unlocked so I can tease and use him at any moment without having to remove his Jail Bird. His teasing has been everything from being forced to please me with his hands and mouth, to being forced to watch me please myself, my stroking him to the edge over and over and/or ruining an attempted orgasm and even me riding him or having him please me with his cock.
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It’s been quite a couple of frustrating days for him, I’m sure. Pushing him more and more each day has gotten me thinking. I want to drive him deeper and deeper into his submission and push his level of horniness. I mean, I am making him go 6 months without an orgasm but he’s still getting the satisfaction of feeling my pussy, my mouth or my hand. I started to wonder today how deep he’d go if he couldn’t see or touch his own cock for a few weeks of this denial period.

So my plan is to give him a good dose of “No look, No touch” in the Revenge for a couple weeks. Now when it comes to the Revenge I don’t like the whole hygiene part of leaving him locked 24/7 so I will be working maintenance into his wear. The maintenance will consist of me removing the tube portion of the cage to clean him, however, cagedmonkey will be cuffed and blindfolded during it.
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It should be an interesting couple of weeks, seeing just how ridiculously achy and horny I can get him. I figure while he is locked up for the next couple weeks in the Revenge and I won’t have use of his cock, I’ll be using “Adam” quite a bit on myself and using my new strapon, that I love, on him often. Sure hope his ass is ready to be used more than it ever has.

I’m looking forward to the moaning, whimpering and begging to come in the next week or so.

Yesterday, when cagedmonkey got home from work, I had him take off his cage before bed. He’s so sensitive after about 7 weeks of denial and even the blankets were teasing him. I had him sleep without his Jail Bird so I could have access to him at any time. I certainly took advantage of that while he was trying to sleep. I did make it quite difficult for him.

Every so often I would go visit him in the bedroom and he’d get woken up by me stroking his cock. He sleeps with a sleep mask on because it’s too bright in our room so it’s a bonus he’s basically blindfolded. I would stroke him nice and hard and then walk out. One time I stroked him to just before the edge, I gave him a hard squeeze around his shaft and licked him right across his lips. I didn’t say a word and just walked out. I could hear him moaning and cursing as I was leaving.

I did that a few more times through the day and when it was time to wake up, I got completely naked and woke him up by climbing on the bed and straddling him. I pressed my naked body against his, our warm skin touching on every possible part. I felt his cock hardening beneath me. I smiled at him an awfully devious smirk and said “ooo little man is ready to wake up.” Cagedmonkey was no where near awake so he could only sputter out moans and groans as I slowly slid my nipples up and down his chest.

I lifted my hips and slid him inside me, filling me up so full. I just love the feeling of his big cock filling my pussy, stretching it so perfectly. It’s a feeling I can not get enough of sometimes. I used him like a ride-on sex toy, sliding myself up and down his shaft getting his cock all sloppy and creamy. When I was finished with him, I climbed off of him, grabbed my clothes and as I started to get dressed I simply said, “time to wake up!”