FemDom

Cagedmonkey and I have our 15 year wedding anniversary coming up soon and the kids will be with grandma the whole weekend. I decided that would be the perfect time to get in lots of playtime but I wanted to get in some practice before beforehand. So last weekend we spent Saturday night playing with some rope. I didn’t get the book out this time, I just did it from memory and really liked how it turned out.

I tried a couple different ties, as you can see in the above picture. I really liked the one on his left leg holding his calf to his thigh. I did learn that when I do that tie again I will move it up his thigh so that it holds his leg a bit tighter and he’s really bound and can’t pull his lower leg away. I also liked how I had his wrist rope cuffs attached to his legs so he was kinda in a hog tie-ish position. 

I did like how his right ankle was tied as well but I think that would be better suited to tying him to something rather than to himself like that. Once I had him bound like this I had so much fun with him. He was in the best position to have his cock and balls tickled! I pulled his cock back behind him and used my hands and theft wand on his sensitive spot to tease, tickle and torture his cock… He was such a drippy mess and it was so fun to force the fluid out of him. I did edge him that way quite a few times too and allllllllllllllmost ruined him but I decided I was going to save that for another time hehe 🙂

We recently got gifted a couple things and I went shopping for some new toys to play with. I figured, why not start off this brand new year with some new toys? 

Some of these are not completely new but we did get more rope which gives us a lot more opportunity for new trying positions. We are looking forward to trying cagedmonkey in some predicament positions. Also the flogger itself is not a new thing but now I’ve got two and they are braided so I’m sure there will be a different feeling going on when I use those! The anal hook and Wartenberg wheel are completely new which I’m sure will only add to the freshness that is too come. 

Have you used any of these before and would you like to share your experience as either the giver or receiver? We would love to hear from you! 🙂

Last night cagedmonkey and I finally got that night alone. We knew it was coming so actually, earlier in the day, we started some extra control and CM was to ask to use the bathroom (by the end if the night he was really begging haha) and what he should wear, how much coffee/water/alcohol he was allowed, etc. I also tasked him with making us special dinner after the kids left with grandma. He made a very delicious steak with sauteed fresh mushrooms and onions and parmesan couscous. It was amazingly delicious! I needed way more mushrooms!

It always feels good to control more of him when I feel ignored and disobeyed by my own children haha. Anyway, it was munch night so before we left I had cagedmonkey locked in his cage and his collar. 

For the actual munch he was dressed in our Monkey in a Cage blog t-shirt because it’s always fun to advertise the blog. We met up with our kinky friends for some drinks (lots of drinks hehe) and lots of laughing, licks and fun. I had my big ass blue margarita of course!

There were so many people there and some newbies and we just had a wonderful time. After munch we came home and visited with the neighbors for a bit since they had some kinky friends over for game night. That was a whole other bunch of fun and lots of boobs hehe. 

After we left the neighbors we came home and played around a little and I made sure cagedmonkey gave me exactly what I needed. Apparently, after teasing him and playing with him some this past week, I needed it bad! It’s nice sometimes to have the alcohol involved sex where he can last a little longer and I can cum a lot harder. I had him fuck me so nice and hard and long. I was kinda laying on my side and he just grabbed a hold of my hip and side and fucked me so good. Oh my goodness, it felt amazing and I came so hard and loud. I haven’t cum that loud in a while and this morning I even woke up with very sore muscles and a sore throat and voice. Cagedmonkey was denied again from Thanksgiving and must have been very turned on after all the girls licking each other and boobs flying out throughout the evening and how loud I was during sex that he exploded a big load of hot cum in my pussy. It seriously was incredible!

I wasn’t quite finished with CM after that, though. We cuddled up all spoon-like and we still had some extreme horniness hanging around and when I felt his still-hard cock against my ass I just reached back and took him and shoved his cock in my asshole and made him fuck my ass, no lube, no nothing, until I had another screamingly good orgasm. I guess I just needed to get fucked and fucked good and hard. I love how I have a big man who gives me whatever I need when I need and want it. He never questions when I tell him he’s going to please me, in whatever way I want him to. I seriously love our relationship and our sex. 

When we woke up this morning, a little later than normal, we had some good snuggle time without having to listen to the kids bickering in the other room. It was so nice to get up and have a quiet morning together. Again, cagedmonkey was to cook for me and, of course, he didn’t just cook, he cooked for me naked!

I did have to mess with him a bit while he was cooking… Because why not? Makes it a bit more fun! 🙂 I kept smacking his adorable ass and giving his cock a stroke, or four, while he was standing there. But, wow did he ever make some amazing eggs and hash browns! 

I know it doesn’t seem like much but it means a lot to me when he cooks and the two of us can sit and enjoy an uninterrupted meal together. We even got to go out and run some errands today together and it was wonderful just having this time. It’s not 100% about sex when we have time alone… That part is amazing but it’s about being more focused on each other and giving ourselves to each other more deeply and fully. 

I realized this morning that I’m starting to feel my mood sink. We got a bit busy coming up to the holidays and some of my control turned way less sexual. The house is hard to keep up with when both of us are working and the kid’s are here, there and everywhere. My control has been a lot more clean this, do this, do that, this kid needs to be here or picked up at this time, type of stuff. While, yes, I love being in charge of everything, I also very much enjoy being in charge sexually and there hasn’t been much time for sexual control. Let alone, after working and coming home to cook and clean and run kids places, the energy level is depleted.

This morning I was sitting here after doing some cleaning and realized that I’m feeling a strong need to Domme cagedmonkey. I texted him this morning and told him, “I need to feel some power over you, I need you to be vulnerable to me. I need to feel you shuddering and whimpering beneath me.” Yeah so that’s where I’m at right now. I’m sitting on the couch fantasizing about him being bound in a vulnerable position where I can do whatever I want to him. Where I can play with whatever part of him I want, make him feel what I want. It could be good, amazing, teasing feelings or maybe I want to give him a little discomfort. I can feel my chest get tight when I think about being a little aggressive and rough with him, that’s how I know I need it… Not just want it! I want to feel him powerless and vulnerable to my touch. I really to want and need to feel him whimpering and begging because he knows I’m controlling every sensation he’s having. I need to feel that change in his body when he realizes there is no use trying to hold out. I am fantasizing about him being tired and used and “done” but I just pick up his head and make him eat my pussy more anyway. 

I want and need a good intense powerful night with my hubby. I’m going to ask, again, if Grandma can take the kids this weekend. I asked her a few days ago but she never got back to me about it. 

We really do not get much time for play these days. Now that the kids are older and staying up later, we get very limited time alone, especially when grandma’s living situation changed and she isn’t taking the kids overnight anymore. Last week, hubby had a very rare day off work so I took half a day at work myself so we could get a little playtime in while the kids were in summer camp. I broke down and paid for them to be in half day camp so they would stop calling me at work so much. Lol

Anyway, I came home from work and immediately walked over to hubby and made him give me a kiss to welcome me home. Though, it wasn’t just any kiss… Basically I put my pussy on his face and made him lick it. 🙂 I just love walking over to him, saying nothing and just sitting in his face or at least making my point known that he is to stop what he’s doing and eat my pussy. Once I was properly welcomed home we had a little relax and eat lunch time and then I instructed him to the bedroom. As soon as we got in the bedroom I quickly tied his wrists into some rope cuffs… I do love how fast I’ve gotten at making decent cuffs with the rope. Then I tied his wrists to the top of our poster bed. He was standing there, sexy and exposed and unable to move. Just waiting for whatever it was that I would do to him.  I spent a good amount of time using my flogger on him while he stood there. He does such an amazing job taking my flogging and spanking. I also loved making him moan and try to wiggle as I ran my nails all over his body. Lightly scratching down his arms, around to his chest, down his stomach and trailing to his side’s down to his bum and then his thighs. I really do get so wet from the noises he makes. I decided then to make things a little more interesting for him so I used the wand on him while I tickled his asshole and lightly slid the tip of my finger into his tightness. I eventually instructed him to hold the wand with his thighs, between his legs while I flogged him again until his skin was a gorgeous rosy color. 

In between flogging cagedmonkey I would reach around to his caged cock and squeeze the base where rooty was so prominent. I just love the reaction I get when I grab it and stroke it behind the cage, feeling his balls get tights and tighter. It turns me on so much seeing and feeling those reactions that are almost completely involuntary. I was so turned on by everything and every sound he was making that my pussy was so incredibly wet. After about an hour of standing there taking what I wanted to give him and my pussy practically dripping down my legs, I untied him and made him lick up the delicious sloppy mess between my legs. Of course I made him take a picture just before so we could share it all with you. 🙂

You’ve probably already read the post from a few days ago where cagedmonkey mentioned I have him locked in the Steelworxx Revenge. So there is no need to get into all that. The Revenge is quite an interesting device because of the fact that it’s practically a fully enclosed device, keeping cagedmonkey from any sensation on his penis, be it clothing, bedsheets, or human touch, there is just no way to feel any of that through the Steel encasing his cock. 

I think it’s pretty amazing that I get to create this world where my hubby is virtually without his penis. I get to tease him and drive him crazy making him hornier and hornier and his cock feels nothing. Now that he’s locked in the Revenge… He’s going to have to try hard to remember the feeling of my tight wet pussy wrapped around his cock while he struggles against the steel. Even his “rooty” is different in the enclosed device, there really is no where for it to go, no bulging out between the bars. I’d imagine the pressure and aching must feel slightly different but that’s something for the experts and not my assumptions. Just wait until I torture him with sliding that cage into my hot wet pussy and he feels nothing, not even the warmth.

Now, I know he mentioned that we would be taking this round with the Revenge a little slower, kinda like when you get a new cage, we aren’t jumping right into the long term. So tonight, since it’s been pretty close to a week since I locked him in the Revenge, I had him remove the cage to make sure we had no redness or sore spots or anything that showed there were any issue. I did not see anything at all so now I will push him out about 10 days or so. I will remind anyone interested in an enclosed caged (not sure if this is just the case with steel or all enclosed) that there is a smell associated with the immediate removal of the cage, even after only a week, which included daily washing. Not a huge deal, just know you can’t take it out and play with your toy right away like you can with the Jail Bird. It definitely needs a quick wash. 

Tonight was a little rough on CM because even though he was temporarily out of the confines of the cage, I still refused to touch his cock. Just because we are doing inspections every so often certainly doesn’t mean the spirit of not feeling anything for a few weeks isn’t there. I loved hearing the frustration in his choice when he realized I wasn’t going to touch his cock, which immediately went from soft to rock hard within about a minute or so of removing the cage. I do love how it sounds when he’s so incredibly frustrated from the horniness and it’s all because of me. I know he loves it too. And maybe that’s what makes it even more exciting! 🙂

I used to have this whole thing about wanting to be the one who worked and my hubby would stay home and be the house husband. That has since changed and I’ve become a hell of a lot more realistic about my life. I realized I should be the mom, the one to stay home and be with the kids. That’s what I did for 12 years and I have loved every minute if it. I wouldn’t change it. It was what was supposed to be. 

However, let me tell you about a time when I was younger and I thought, the only way I could keep a guy was to be the one who worked and supported us and he got to do whatever he wanted. Staying home, getting sex, etc. I thought, how could I guy ever leave a woman who gives him such freedom? Well when I was young I thought, I’d just keep a guy locked up in my house, all for me, for when I wanted him. 

Well yesterday, was an interesting day, I had to work and hubby was off work. Normally on his days off I would be home and we’d play or have sex all day or something but not this time. This time I had a house husband who was working hard, cutting the lawn and completing a “Honey Do” list which included some cock stroking. I kept him nice and horny during all of his sweaty work for me. I was turning myself on quite a bit while I was at work. Just thinking about him at home working hard, doing as I asked if him and then when I got home… We had some lunch and some perfectly wonderful bent over the bed, fucked from behind sex. All because I wanted it and he had to give it to me. 

It really was a fun day, tiring for hubby and we didn’t get in much play at night but we did have some good during the day play and he got to cum on my big round ass in the afternoon before the kids got home from school. 🙂

I was asked this really great question recently so I thought I would take a minute to write here about it. I’m sure some of our readers who are in control would appreciate it. Then again, some of you in the submissive role may like to know this stuff too. 

“…doesn’t it make you feel bad sometimes when you deny your hubby for so so long? Do you ever feel guilty?”

There actually was a time, when we first started this whole chastity and longer term denial thing, that I would describe my feelings as guilt. Now that we are almost 4 years into this there are zero feelings of guilt. There doesn’t need to be any. 4 years ago my hubby asked me to take control of his sexual pleasure. He wanted me to be the one to decide if, when and how he would orgasm. I gladly accepted that role and took control over that pleasure for him. So why would I feel guilty about giving him something he wanted in the first place? That’s something us dominant types can forget sometimes… but when someone completely offers themselves to us we need to not feel guilty about accepting the responsibility.

Cagedmonkey naturally craves and needs to be controlled and I naturally crave and need to be in control. It makes us both feel fulfilled and content in our relationship and in our life. It fits us so well to accept these roles. 

So, in short, no I don’t feel bad or guilty about denying him orgasm or even keeping him locked in that steel cage and even controlling him to the point of when he gets a full erection. I love knowing that he is THAT controlled, down to something even HE can’t control! I love knowing he has a pretty constant reminder of me and the fact that I control him and he sexual organs and pleasure. It’s mine to enjoy, he gave me that. He offered me that gift and it’s one of the best things and shows such deep love and respect and, more importantly, trust. It makes me feel great, not guilty! 

Ugh… NO!!!

I recently got, yet another, email about locking up a guy. I get them pretty often but just about every time I get one, I need to respond with something along the lines of you can’t just lock up a guys cock and throw away the key. I do want to mention, I know there could be a guy or two out there that does actually want to be locked up, have the key thrown away and their dick completely unused and forgotten about. As a matter of fact, I have such a boy, who’s key I hold, that enjoys the fact that there is nothing he can do or say to get his key back or get his cock unlocked… ever. There is really no use for his puny little cock. That is something that is few and far between and even in his circumstance, I STILL keep him mentally teased and reminded of his predicament every so often.

Male chastity with a spouse or partner, however, is usually not about not having sex or not having to “deal” with your guy once he’s locked up. If anything, it might be more work when you’ve got someone under lock and key. I’ve written about this plenty of times and I’ve even done a podcast on it. When you get a guy to give up control of his most intimate parts, he’s also giving you an incredible amount of trust. He’s trusting that you won’t lock up his dick and forget about it. He needs to know that you enjoy having him locked up as much as he enjoys being locked up for you. He may have a constant physical reminder of who owns his cock but there definitely needs to be some consistent mental reminders. Especially those amazing mindfucks that cause him to press and struggle against the cage, aching to be released. 

I really can’t stress enough about how important it is to give attention to the one you control. Your words, alone, can have a huge impact on how their time in chastity will be. When I say you need to give attention, I’m not necessarily talking about constant physical attention. I do think there needs to be some of that as well but, more than that, the mental side of things will certainly keep your guy from getting lonely. One of the most important things to remember, when locking up a guy, is that it’s going to be work. You do not want them getting lonely and feeling sexually forgotten about. I’m pretty sure I even have a blog post here with lots of ideas of how to keep your guy mentally mindfucked and well teased while locked up. Look around a bit.

My Lady has already shared her experience of our first “dungeon party” – there’s not much more for me to add, considering I only participated for a few minutes at most. It was my first time being caned, though, which was pretty intense.

It was really fun being at the party; ML and I had a great time. I must admit, though, that at first I felt really out of place there. I don’t have a lot of experience with “impact play” and most of the people there were pretty well versed in the scene… at the very least, they knew the names of all the implements.

I was enjoying watching the scenes at the party, but I was also starting to have feelings of inadequacy – I felt that I wasn’t able to take as much punishment as I should. The fact that I was only able to hang in there for a few short moments while others stayed in scenes for twenty minutes or more fed into these fears even more.

This has always been a big problem of mine: comparing myself to others even when there is no need to, and feeling as though I don’t measure up. I end up worrying about unimportant things and psyching myself out. Because, when it comes down to it, does it really matter if someone else can take a spanking for longer that I can?

I finally decided to think positively about my experience: I tried something new, something that ML really enjoyed, and I did my best to serve her. I was proud of myself for what I was able to do.

Then I saw the pics of my ass… and I realized that I actually did take a good beating. 🙂

Even though it was a small amount of time, apparently it was really intense – that pic of my reddened ass was pretty impressive! And those marks are still hanging around days after ML used the cane on me. Hell, even just being able to say “My Lady caned me” is something to be proud of, in my opinion!

It ended up being a great experience: ML really enjoyed the lasting marks she made, and I was able to feel the lingering soreness in my ass… which helped me remember and actually turned me on. I’m actually excited to try it again, to see if I can push myself just a little bit farther… maybe give My Lady a chance to give me a few more “memories” to enjoy.