FemDom

We really do not get much time for play these days. Now that the kids are older and staying up later, we get very limited time alone, especially when grandma’s living situation changed and she isn’t taking the kids overnight anymore. Last week, hubby had a very rare day off work so I took half a day at work myself so we could get a little playtime in while the kids were in summer camp. I broke down and paid for them to be in half day camp so they would stop calling me at work so much. Lol

Anyway, I came home from work and immediately walked over to hubby and made him give me a kiss to welcome me home. Though, it wasn’t just any kiss… Basically I put my pussy on his face and made him lick it. 🙂 I just love walking over to him, saying nothing and just sitting in his face or at least making my point known that he is to stop what he’s doing and eat my pussy. Once I was properly welcomed home we had a little relax and eat lunch time and then I instructed him to the bedroom. As soon as we got in the bedroom I quickly tied his wrists into some rope cuffs… I do love how fast I’ve gotten at making decent cuffs with the rope. Then I tied his wrists to the top of our poster bed. He was standing there, sexy and exposed and unable to move. Just waiting for whatever it was that I would do to him.  I spent a good amount of time using my flogger on him while he stood there. He does such an amazing job taking my flogging and spanking. I also loved making him moan and try to wiggle as I ran my nails all over his body. Lightly scratching down his arms, around to his chest, down his stomach and trailing to his side’s down to his bum and then his thighs. I really do get so wet from the noises he makes. I decided then to make things a little more interesting for him so I used the wand on him while I tickled his asshole and lightly slid the tip of my finger into his tightness. I eventually instructed him to hold the wand with his thighs, between his legs while I flogged him again until his skin was a gorgeous rosy color. 

In between flogging cagedmonkey I would reach around to his caged cock and squeeze the base where rooty was so prominent. I just love the reaction I get when I grab it and stroke it behind the cage, feeling his balls get tights and tighter. It turns me on so much seeing and feeling those reactions that are almost completely involuntary. I was so turned on by everything and every sound he was making that my pussy was so incredibly wet. After about an hour of standing there taking what I wanted to give him and my pussy practically dripping down my legs, I untied him and made him lick up the delicious sloppy mess between my legs. Of course I made him take a picture just before so we could share it all with you. 🙂

You’ve probably already read the post from a few days ago where cagedmonkey mentioned I have him locked in the Steelworxx Revenge. So there is no need to get into all that. The Revenge is quite an interesting device because of the fact that it’s practically a fully enclosed device, keeping cagedmonkey from any sensation on his penis, be it clothing, bedsheets, or human touch, there is just no way to feel any of that through the Steel encasing his cock. 

I think it’s pretty amazing that I get to create this world where my hubby is virtually without his penis. I get to tease him and drive him crazy making him hornier and hornier and his cock feels nothing. Now that he’s locked in the Revenge… He’s going to have to try hard to remember the feeling of my tight wet pussy wrapped around his cock while he struggles against the steel. Even his “rooty” is different in the enclosed device, there really is no where for it to go, no bulging out between the bars. I’d imagine the pressure and aching must feel slightly different but that’s something for the experts and not my assumptions. Just wait until I torture him with sliding that cage into my hot wet pussy and he feels nothing, not even the warmth.

Now, I know he mentioned that we would be taking this round with the Revenge a little slower, kinda like when you get a new cage, we aren’t jumping right into the long term. So tonight, since it’s been pretty close to a week since I locked him in the Revenge, I had him remove the cage to make sure we had no redness or sore spots or anything that showed there were any issue. I did not see anything at all so now I will push him out about 10 days or so. I will remind anyone interested in an enclosed caged (not sure if this is just the case with steel or all enclosed) that there is a smell associated with the immediate removal of the cage, even after only a week, which included daily washing. Not a huge deal, just know you can’t take it out and play with your toy right away like you can with the Jail Bird. It definitely needs a quick wash. 

Tonight was a little rough on CM because even though he was temporarily out of the confines of the cage, I still refused to touch his cock. Just because we are doing inspections every so often certainly doesn’t mean the spirit of not feeling anything for a few weeks isn’t there. I loved hearing the frustration in his choice when he realized I wasn’t going to touch his cock, which immediately went from soft to rock hard within about a minute or so of removing the cage. I do love how it sounds when he’s so incredibly frustrated from the horniness and it’s all because of me. I know he loves it too. And maybe that’s what makes it even more exciting! 🙂

I used to have this whole thing about wanting to be the one who worked and my hubby would stay home and be the house husband. That has since changed and I’ve become a hell of a lot more realistic about my life. I realized I should be the mom, the one to stay home and be with the kids. That’s what I did for 12 years and I have loved every minute if it. I wouldn’t change it. It was what was supposed to be. 

However, let me tell you about a time when I was younger and I thought, the only way I could keep a guy was to be the one who worked and supported us and he got to do whatever he wanted. Staying home, getting sex, etc. I thought, how could I guy ever leave a woman who gives him such freedom? Well when I was young I thought, I’d just keep a guy locked up in my house, all for me, for when I wanted him. 

Well yesterday, was an interesting day, I had to work and hubby was off work. Normally on his days off I would be home and we’d play or have sex all day or something but not this time. This time I had a house husband who was working hard, cutting the lawn and completing a “Honey Do” list which included some cock stroking. I kept him nice and horny during all of his sweaty work for me. I was turning myself on quite a bit while I was at work. Just thinking about him at home working hard, doing as I asked if him and then when I got home… We had some lunch and some perfectly wonderful bent over the bed, fucked from behind sex. All because I wanted it and he had to give it to me. 

It really was a fun day, tiring for hubby and we didn’t get in much play at night but we did have some good during the day play and he got to cum on my big round ass in the afternoon before the kids got home from school. 🙂

I was asked this really great question recently so I thought I would take a minute to write here about it. I’m sure some of our readers who are in control would appreciate it. Then again, some of you in the submissive role may like to know this stuff too. 

“…doesn’t it make you feel bad sometimes when you deny your hubby for so so long? Do you ever feel guilty?”

There actually was a time, when we first started this whole chastity and longer term denial thing, that I would describe my feelings as guilt. Now that we are almost 4 years into this there are zero feelings of guilt. There doesn’t need to be any. 4 years ago my hubby asked me to take control of his sexual pleasure. He wanted me to be the one to decide if, when and how he would orgasm. I gladly accepted that role and took control over that pleasure for him. So why would I feel guilty about giving him something he wanted in the first place? That’s something us dominant types can forget sometimes… but when someone completely offers themselves to us we need to not feel guilty about accepting the responsibility.

Cagedmonkey naturally craves and needs to be controlled and I naturally crave and need to be in control. It makes us both feel fulfilled and content in our relationship and in our life. It fits us so well to accept these roles. 

So, in short, no I don’t feel bad or guilty about denying him orgasm or even keeping him locked in that steel cage and even controlling him to the point of when he gets a full erection. I love knowing that he is THAT controlled, down to something even HE can’t control! I love knowing he has a pretty constant reminder of me and the fact that I control him and he sexual organs and pleasure. It’s mine to enjoy, he gave me that. He offered me that gift and it’s one of the best things and shows such deep love and respect and, more importantly, trust. It makes me feel great, not guilty! 

Ugh… NO!!!

I recently got, yet another, email about locking up a guy. I get them pretty often but just about every time I get one, I need to respond with something along the lines of you can’t just lock up a guys cock and throw away the key. I do want to mention, I know there could be a guy or two out there that does actually want to be locked up, have the key thrown away and their dick completely unused and forgotten about. As a matter of fact, I have such a boy, who’s key I hold, that enjoys the fact that there is nothing he can do or say to get his key back or get his cock unlocked… ever. There is really no use for his puny little cock. That is something that is few and far between and even in his circumstance, I STILL keep him mentally teased and reminded of his predicament every so often.

Male chastity with a spouse or partner, however, is usually not about not having sex or not having to “deal” with your guy once he’s locked up. If anything, it might be more work when you’ve got someone under lock and key. I’ve written about this plenty of times and I’ve even done a podcast on it. When you get a guy to give up control of his most intimate parts, he’s also giving you an incredible amount of trust. He’s trusting that you won’t lock up his dick and forget about it. He needs to know that you enjoy having him locked up as much as he enjoys being locked up for you. He may have a constant physical reminder of who owns his cock but there definitely needs to be some consistent mental reminders. Especially those amazing mindfucks that cause him to press and struggle against the cage, aching to be released. 

I really can’t stress enough about how important it is to give attention to the one you control. Your words, alone, can have a huge impact on how their time in chastity will be. When I say you need to give attention, I’m not necessarily talking about constant physical attention. I do think there needs to be some of that as well but, more than that, the mental side of things will certainly keep your guy from getting lonely. One of the most important things to remember, when locking up a guy, is that it’s going to be work. You do not want them getting lonely and feeling sexually forgotten about. I’m pretty sure I even have a blog post here with lots of ideas of how to keep your guy mentally mindfucked and well teased while locked up. Look around a bit.

My Lady has already shared her experience of our first “dungeon party” – there’s not much more for me to add, considering I only participated for a few minutes at most. It was my first time being caned, though, which was pretty intense.

It was really fun being at the party; ML and I had a great time. I must admit, though, that at first I felt really out of place there. I don’t have a lot of experience with “impact play” and most of the people there were pretty well versed in the scene… at the very least, they knew the names of all the implements.

I was enjoying watching the scenes at the party, but I was also starting to have feelings of inadequacy – I felt that I wasn’t able to take as much punishment as I should. The fact that I was only able to hang in there for a few short moments while others stayed in scenes for twenty minutes or more fed into these fears even more.

This has always been a big problem of mine: comparing myself to others even when there is no need to, and feeling as though I don’t measure up. I end up worrying about unimportant things and psyching myself out. Because, when it comes down to it, does it really matter if someone else can take a spanking for longer that I can?

I finally decided to think positively about my experience: I tried something new, something that ML really enjoyed, and I did my best to serve her. I was proud of myself for what I was able to do.

Then I saw the pics of my ass… and I realized that I actually did take a good beating. 🙂

Even though it was a small amount of time, apparently it was really intense – that pic of my reddened ass was pretty impressive! And those marks are still hanging around days after ML used the cane on me. Hell, even just being able to say “My Lady caned me” is something to be proud of, in my opinion!

It ended up being a great experience: ML really enjoyed the lasting marks she made, and I was able to feel the lingering soreness in my ass… which helped me remember and actually turned me on. I’m actually excited to try it again, to see if I can push myself just a little bit farther… maybe give My Lady a chance to give me a few more “memories” to enjoy.

Wow! What an awesome weekend!! If you’d have asked me 5 years ago if I thought we would be doing what we’re doing right now I would have called you fucking crazy… actually even 3 years ago!! Cagedmonkey and I had a chance to get to our local munch again this past weekend and it was so much fun. We always love getting there to see friends and just laugh and enjoy some time with other people who we feel comfortable being ourselves with. We met this really great couple a month or so ago when we were still pretty new to going to the munch and they happen to have private dungeon. They’ve invited us over before but we just haven’t had a chance to make it. Well, on Saturday, they invited us and some other people from the munch over to their place for a kind of little after party. It really was just a continuation of the munch, except for the fact that there was a bit more going on than what could ever happen in a public restaurant! Hehe I know we mentioned some of this in our last podcast so you get the picture. I do want to say that even though people might think if you go to a private dungeon party or get invited over their house it’s going to be some kind of crazy sex party – it’s really not! I’m sure that may happen but I’m going to guess most of the time it’s just certain types of play. It was so much fun hanging out and some of the time I was kind of reminded of high school when you’d go hang out at in a friend’s basement sneaking beer!

Let me back up a bit though before I go on with the dungeon party. Earlier in the day grandma had come to get the kids for the night so cagedmonkey and I had the entire afternoon to spend time together. You know that meant we got in some good intense playtime. 🙂 I decided to take advantage of the time we had and I locked cagedmonkey in our steel doggy style Stockade. This time I actually used the locking collar attachment since I’d recently lined the collar with a thin layer of neoprene foam.

I really wanted him bound well and unable to move so I could try our a few of my paddles and things on him. He was so trusting and wonderful to take everything I had to give him. And trust me I gave it to him hard and non-stop for almost an hour. I used a few different paddles and the flogger and I also spent some time tickling him while he was locked up and immobile. It was so fun to watch him squirm! I took a picture in the beginning when his sexy butt was nice and red and you could just start to see the marks.

I was also giving his balls a little paddling as well, during it all. I do wish I would have gotten a picture at the end. I had decided to push him harder and in fact I decided to push him past harder to too hard. I wanted to trust that he would use his safeword and so I beat him extremely hard to see where it was that he would, in fact, ask me to stop. I really wanted to get him to his ultimate breaking point. My man took a hell of a lot of me that day… And then we ended up at the dungeon party where, well, he got beat more! At the end of our daytime session I did have to show him just how dripping wet my pussy was and have him clean it up afterwards.

The dungeon party was a ton of fun. There were about 6 couples there total but I to believe we were the only couple with a male submissive. It was all good and we got to see some others using the equipment and the different toys available and some even shared and gave us all a chance to spank their sub. That was fun! 🙂

When it was our turn, I had cagedmonkey get on the spanking bench so I could try out a few of their toys. They had floggers of many styles, paddles, whips, canes, you name it and I also brought my new wooden paddle that my friend got for me. Since I’d already worked hubby over earlier I was really just interested in trying a couple things. I was able to use a cane and then I ended his night with an extremely hard swat with my wooden paddle. 

I will say, they left some pretty spectacular marks on his ass… That stayed for days. I personally think they looked so incredibly awesome the next day…

The lines are from the cane and the big red mark there on his left cheek is from the paddle. I will say that even two days later those marks remained. It truly was a spectacular feeling letting that out and using those different things on him. It felt exhilarating! 

I told hubby next time I need to get him up on their cross… It’s a good thing we already got invited to the next party! 🙂

A little bit of a late Christmas post but we do hope that you all had a fantastic Christmas. We had a great time seeing family on Christmas Eve and enjoying a yummy dinner and gifts. Then we spent Christmas day at home as a family in jammies all day playing with new toys and, yesterday, our little Christmas-time was extended when we dropped the kids off to grandma’s so we could go out with a friend.

I think the kids were happy with all their new toys and hubby and I got things for each other that are more for both of us so that’s awesome. I did end up getting an amazing kinky gift too from our friend. Such an incredible, handcrafted piece and I am thoroughly impressed with it and so grateful to have been given this extremely thoughtful gift. I just love it so much and… It’s BLUE (and kind of silver looking)!!!

I completely love it and I can not wait to try it out. The handle is so perfect and it’s curved just right and fits in my hand. The wood is exquisite and so smooth. I fondled that thing all night and didn’t feel a single flaw. Not a bump or rough spot anywhere on it. It really is an amazing piece of work. I would have loved to try it out last night but just didn’t have the right opportunity. 🙂 

We love that we have gotten to share another year with you. Again, we hope you all had an awesome Christmas and hope you have a fantastic New Year!! 

A couple of weeks ago cagedmonkey and I had the pleasure of being part of and officiating a kinky wedding for a couple of our best friends. It was a very small home ceremony but do you really need more than just a few people to witness such an amazing thing between two people? We loved every minute of being part of this with them. Our evening started off with dinner and just your everyday hanging out while a couple friends arrived and we got the kids to bed. This beautiful ceremony was celebrated by our Mistress and slave couple, cagedmonkey and I and another Domme and her sub husband. We all had a few drinks but not too much that we were sloshed! At about midnight or so – just to make sure the kids were good and asleep! – our lovely couple went to get dressed in their ceremony clothing. Mistress was dressed in a lovely red lace baby doll style top and her slave bride wearing a beautiful white wedding dress, with “Bride” panties and some gorgeous heels. He was put together by the Domme friend who helped with his make up, did his hair and got his tiara in place – we wouldn’t want his Mistress to see the bride before the wedding, would we? Before we began cagedmonkey and the sub husband were told to remove their clothes and us ladies stayed dressed. The ceremony began with the couple standing facing each other while cagedmonkey addressed them and there is no way that I can describe the heartfelt and very funny words he used, so I decided to just copy and paste the bulk of his words here in this post. I’ve obviously took the names out of it and replaced them with “Mistress” and “slave.” 🙂

We gather here today to celebrate the joining of “Mistress” and “slave” in kinky matrimony. The love and sexual connection that these two share is something that should be cherished in today’s world, where “kinky” is no longer specific enough.The fact that a man who enjoys being dominated and feminized can find a woman who desires her very own she-male slut bride is a true blessing in this life.

It is a slave’s mission to show devotion to his mistress, and to serve her from head to toe. It is a slave’s mission to make his mistress feel beautiful from head to toe, and to service all of her needs at a moment’s notice no matter what the situation. In order to show his commitment and devotion, “slave” will now worship the feet of “Mistress” until she feels truly adored and satisfied.

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A slave must give himself fully to his mistress. He must sacrifice himself for the sake of his mistress’s desires, no matter how painful or difficult that sacrifice must be. As a gift for his new mistress, “slave” will now present himself to “Mistress” for a full and thorough spanking.

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The responsibilities in a D/s relationship do not lie with the submissive alone; the dominant must control the submissive in an appropriate way. A mistress must keep her slave, hold him as her own, and control him in a way that the slave ultimately needs. To show her willingness to control in this way, “Mistress” will now plug “slave’s” ass and take her control over him to a “deeper” level.

And now, it is time for the exchanging of vows:

“slave” – Do you promise to give yourself to “Mistress”, to dress as her slutty she-male bride whenever she wants, to subject yourself to every filthy desire she may have, to serve her needs in any way she requires, for as long as you both shall live?

“Mistress” – Do you promise to take “Slave” as your personal love slave, to use him sexually in ways even he cannot imagine, to force him to wear slutty woman’s clothing whenever you wish, to show him the fullness of your control over him whenever he needs to feel it, for as long as you both shall live?

With the unofficial power invested in me, by nobody in particular, I now pronounce you “Mistress” and “Slave.”

…You may now milk the slut-bride.

It truly was a beautiful night, and I don’t even think you can see, in the picture, how dark those marks are from the spanking he received. There were three things Mistress used to give him his beating. She used her crop (which I know you can see a good mark from it in the picture above), the quirt whip and the wooden paddle her slave so generously handmade for her with love.

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The slave bride was plugged with a rather large jeweled plug, it was so pretty when his Mistress spread his ass and presented it to the guests. During the exchanging of the vows our couple exchanged some jewelry that really had a lot of special meaning for them. After such a long night the “you may now milk the bride” didn’t go as planned. I believe the slave bride was awfully tired and mixed with the alcohol not a whole lot was happening. The overall night was amazing though and it didn’t even matter about that. We were completely blessed to be able to share this with our friends and we want to wish them so many more years together, forever, to enjoy this life!!

One thing I loved was, after the ceremony, I was able to try out the crop (it’s a bit more sturdy than mine!) and the quirt whip. The quirt was amazing and I totally want one! 🙂 The Domme friend also had a good time lining up her sub husband and the bride next to each other and going at their bottoms with the crop and the quirt again. Us ladies got quite the chuckle out of them as they stood there squirming from her swatting their asses. We had a wonderful time, met some fantastic new friends and enjoyed sharing in the love of this couple. Thank you for allowing us to be part of it!! We love you!!

I was asked recently what exactly I meant by “private public humiliation” and I felt the need to share what I mean here on the blog because I think a lot of Doms, subs, tops and/or bottoms would be interested in my take on this whole thing. First, let me get through the whole actual definition part of it all so everyone is well aware of what I’m talking about in general. Yes, I am sticking to the erotic nature of this because, obviously, that would be the ultimate goal here is to flick some sexual switch inside a person and get them turned on with all of this. Obviously if you want to know more about this type of psychological play please look it up. It’s a very touchy subject because it can get deep down into someone’s emotions and it can be a fine line between fun and not so fun and sometimes bordering on abuse – so lets not go there!

Definitions:

Erotic Humiliation is consensual psychological humiliation in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can and often does include the person being humiliated and demeaned but not always. This can be exciting for the person being humiliated or the person doing the humiliating, or for some spectator.

Public (Erotic) Humiliation is humiliation play performed in front of other people. It’s that simple, the submissive is verbally or physically humiliated in front of his or her friends, family members, or even strangers.

Private Public (Erotic) Humiliation is humiliation play that is performed in privately in a public setting, usually in front of friends, family members, or even strangers.

Now, let me get a little more in depth here. I’m not totally into humiliation or degradation, it really isn’t my thing. I do like to push boundaries and run submissive men along the edges of play, especially cagedmonkey. He very much does not like to be made to feel incompetent or stupid and definitely does not want to be degraded and talked down to. I think he has worked hard to finally build up his confidence and self esteem that doing those things to him would be detrimental. I, for one, am not about being bitchy or mean or putting someone down… however hubby and I have found that a little private humiliation or private embarrassment can be fun. You get a touch of the humiliation play without hurting one emotionally or, something I’m REALLY against, bringing some unwilling party into your play and exposing them to something that may not be at all into. What I mean is, sending your sub to Victoria’s Secret and making them tell the sale person they are looking for panties for themselves and perhaps making them expose the fact that they are in chastity. This type of play is not ok… that poor employee didn’t ask to be humiliated right along with the submissive so that is just something I am against.

I figured I’d take a minute to give you some ideas of how to privately do some public humiliation so here you go:

(Please note while I have done a lot of these things they are not all things I have done but they are ideas of things that could be done privately)

– wearing butt plug (especially out in public, doing mundane things)
– wearing a cock ring with an erection (Stay hard longer)
– masturbating in a public restroom
– going to drive thru, ordering food, then cumming on and eating it.
– wearing panties
– buying panties for himself
– wearing pantyhose
– wearing garter and stockings
– having to write degrading words on yourself/chest then where light colored shirt out
– send him to buy you feminine items (makeup, panties, bra’s, tampons)
– wearing female deodorant and/or perfume and using female bathing items
– choose his meal and order for him when eating out
– send him to the restroom while out to eat, make him edge himself and then walk back to the table hiding his erection
– have him paint your toe nails, and then have him paint his own to match
– sitting down at all times when using the toilet
– have him carry your purse when in public

– kneeling in front of you regularly, to speak to you or beg for something (including sexual things)

If you have some ideas of your own, please feel free to comment below and add them to the list. I’m so sure everyone out there would appreciate it. There really are a lot of things you can have a guy do that doesn’t expose people to your play. If you are looking for some REAL public humiliation find yourself a good space for that with like minded people – there are munches and other gatherings around all over the place and I’m positive you would find a more willing party there to get some public play out of it. Check Fetlife for events in your area!