Female Led Relationship

I have to admit, my sex life is pretty damn great at the moment. Not only are My Lady and I having the time of our lives with each other, we’ve been enjoying the opportunity to share this side of our lives with some “like minded” people that we have met recently. It’s been crazy and fun and exciting all at the same time.

But then, sometimes, I just wanna tell real life to go screw itself.

I understand that ML and I are more than just kinky bloggers on the internet – we are people, parents, family members. We have situations that come up that are more important than finding a new way for ML to torture me sexually. I know this, and I accept this… but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

It has been a little while since ML and I have enjoyed some serious play time together. Since we moved, we have been able to take advantage of Grandma’s babysitting services; this allowed us to have some time with no kids in the house (so we could be as loud as we wanted, wink wink) and we also found time to go to a couple of fetish meet-ups in our area (more on that later). It was something that was difficult to set up in the past, thanks to living so far away from our families and the somewhat special needs of our daughter requiring more than your garden variety babysitter. So, as you can imagine, it was a relief to not have to worry about having the kids in the house when, for instance, ML wanted to lock me in the stockade and abuse my ass with the fucking machine.

So, as you can also imagine, it was kind of a letdown when plans fell through to leave the kids at Grandma’s for Thanksgiving weekend. I’ll admit I have an issue with expectations, although I’m much better than I used to be. But when it’s been a while since My Lady and I have had time to play, and we are looking forward to a weekend of the house to ourselves… it’s hard not to feel like I’m being screwed (and not in any of the ways I was hoping for).

It just seems like whenever ML and I want to get some time in for some fun, we never quite get around to it. Our podcast is a great example: we’ve had tons of fun recording our podcast episodes, and we are so happy that they’ve become so popular with our followers. We’ve wanted to do an episode on the fetish meet-up that we went to for weeks now, but various distractions keep popping up (work schedule, kids schedule, appointments, etc.). It’s frustrating, to say the least.

Like I said, I’ve been doing a lot better with this type of thing lately… but I can’t help it when those feelings of “when again?” start to materialize. I know that I can just be patient, that we have plenty of time together – the other day, ML and I were talking about anniversary plans for years ahead, and ML said, “I think, when we hit our 20th anniversary, I’m just going to be totally wet all the time” (how great is that???) – but I don’t want to be patient. I want more of the good stuff. 🙂

So I’ve been craving something “scene-y” for the past couple of days; not really anything crazy or new, but just something intense. Acknowledging the craving is okay, because I know it’s not something I will go without for long. I’m just trying to stop myself from asking that all-too-familiar question of mine: “When?”

I often get asked by submissive (guys mostly) if I think they are doing a good job at pleasing their Mistress/Dominant partner. I honestly have to tell them, “I don’t know!” They will describe the things they do and they certainly seem pleasing to me. I even get asked for ideas on how to please their Mistress… that is the most difficult question because I am not their Dominant and everyone on this planet (and I assume on other planets lol) is different and what is pleasing to one person may not be pleasing to another – the most important thing here is communication. That’s what I’m talking about here, click to have a listen to my latest raw, unscripted Podcast.

As I said in my podcast here are a couple links to some posts I think would be helpful.

Praise & Reassurance

It’s the Little Things

A Little Tease Here, A Little Tease There

Tease Techniques

I’m sure there are other posts here, over the past almost 3 years that would be helpful. Feel free to use the search bar at the top right of the page and hopefully you can find something that will help you along on your journey. If not, send me a message and let’s chat! Thanks again for reading and listening and I look forward to hearing your thoughts so please feel free to comment!

I know it’s kinda crazy to be looking as far ahead as next year… but, honestly, can you really blame me? With as long as I’ve been waiting for an orgasm? But – and this might be even crazier – it’s not my orgasm that I’m focusing on. I’m assuming (guessing, lol) that it won’t be too far into next year before I get to cum. It’s the “after that” that’s on my mind.

For much of the past 3 years, ML and I have been working towards various things. At first, it was building up my comfort with the chastity cage so that I could spend longer time locked up for My Lady. Once I was able to go about three weeks without any problems, it showed that ML could keep me locked indefinitely if she chose to. And after suffering through over 6 months of denial, it’s pretty clear that ML can deny me for as long as it pleases her to do so.

ML and I have worked very hard to get to the point where she was fully in control of my sexuality and not held back by any physical limits. Now that we’ve gotten to that point, what’s next for us?

After ML allows me my next orgasm (if? Dear Lord, I hope it’s not if!), I expect us to move to a simpler arrangement – no scheduling, no “shooting for” chastity/denial sessions… even no Maybe Days. If ML wants me locked, I stay locked until she wants my cock free. If she wants to deny me, I don’t get to cum until she lets me. It could be days, weeks, months, etc. for either chastity or orgasm denial.

Since “whatever ML chooses” isn’t really a goal (it’s more just fun, which is much more awesomer), ML and I decided on some other things to work toward. We each had a list, and – not surprisingly – they were very similar. One thing that we both agree on is that we want to try some more bondage exploration. ML really wants to learn how to tie me up good and tight, and I really want her to. We’ve also received some bondage toys recently (and purchased some, too… we aren’t total freeloaders, lol), which we will be reviewing soon.

Even though (in my “desperate-to-cum” state) I’m looking ahead to next year already, I’m sure we’ll start exploring our new goals sooner than that. The question will be whether or not I can handle the intense domination that is sure to come… or if it really matters to My Lady at all. 🙂

Literal answer to rhetorical question alert!

chas·ti·ty
ˈCHastədē/
noun
the state or practice of refraining sexual intercourse.

As I was putting my cage on after shaving yesterday, I started thinking about exactly what this is that ML and I are doing. It’s easy to call it “chastity” but is it really that?

As you can see from the definition above (thank you, Google), chastity usually involves less (or perhaps even no) sex. Since ML began locking my cock in a cage, we’ve been have more – and BETTER – sex than ever. That’s like the opposite of chastity!

My Lady is in complete control of when and how much sex we have. And keeping my cock locked up all to herself gets her pretty damn horny, so we end up having sex pretty often. The cage doesn’t even stop her from having my cock when she wants it – she will have sex with even even while I’m caged, and she loves every minute of torturing me like that.

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You cannot imagine how frustrating it is to feel her warm wet pussy on my cock, yet I’m still unable to get hard. My cock certainly tries, but always fails. ML has has many orgasms on my caged cock as I throb helplessly against the steel. It often feels like I could cum, but it’s only wishful thinking. I’m left as frustrated as ever, often with a painfully full cage as ML drifts off into blissful post-orgasmic sleep.

So, we will continue to call it “chastity,” even though it’s something different at the heart if it. It’s not about refraining from sex; if anything, it drives us to want it more. For us, it’s about control. ML controls me sexually, not just my orgasms but even my erections. She will have sex with me when she wants, whether she allows me to have a erection or not.

Ok maybe not an actual bondage bed but we recently went furniture shopping for our new apartment and I found a bed I just had to have.

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I couldn’t help but think how amazing it would be to have him bound spread eagle to this bed. I just had to talk him into getting it (it didn’t really take much talking into lol). There are just so many possibilities with this bed. Also the nightstands have usb ports and outlet plugs right in them so I certainly won’t need an extension cord for the wand anymore haha.

(First off, apologies for the lack of posting lately; it’s been very busy here at the LMnC household getting ready for the upcoming move)

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It’s so interesting how chastity has changed my life.

I never thought that seeing dents in my cock would make me feel sexy, but they do. I love the look of the marks that my chastity cage leaves on me after I take it off. It reminds me that, even though I might be unlocked, My Lady still owns my cock. She still controls it, whether it’s free from confinement or underneath steel bars. The effect is still there.

It was truly fortunate that My Lady found chastity and decided to give it a try. That decision changed so many things in our lives for the better – our sex life improved, along with our emotional bonds with each other. It’s a part of our lives that we would never take away.

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It kind of reminds me of my chastity tattoo. It has become one of my favorites that I have, for that reason – it symbolizes the choice I made to turn control of my sexuality over to ML. She chose the design, she chose the location, and I accepted it… and it couldn’t have been more perfect.

It’s so perfect, sometimes I think to myself: were we destined for this? Is this exactly how we were meant to be with each other? Were we fortunate, or was this situation blissfully unavoidable?

When I get thoughts like these, I can’t help but think of my “chastity scar.”

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That right there, is where the base ring of my chastity cage sits. It’s very faint, but you can see the skin is raised very slightly and barely discolored. It’s not a major injury or anything, it doesn’t even hurt or cause discomfort. It’s the result of my fairly large cock struggling against the bars and ring of my chastity cage. I never really expected it to happen, but now it’s a part of me.

It’s funny how chastity has changed me – from the “in the moment” feelings, to the changes I hoped would occur, and even those changes that I never could have expected. It’s also amazing how pretty much all of these changes are for the better.

I just thought this was something fun to share. Every day when cagedmonkey gets dressed and gets himself socks, he opens the dresser drawer and finds a lovely little reminder of who he belongs to. A few little things inside the sock drawer as a way to remember who controls his sexual pleasure, who controls his cock, who keeps it locked up in a cage to use when she pleases. I think it’s nice that, not only does he have his Jail Bird on every day to remind him, he also gets that unspoken visual treat, knowing he wears that collar for me and is plugged whenever I want him to be
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So today is Valentine’s Day, and it’s been far from the best of days. ML and I woke up to some family drama – nothing too terrible and not involving our immediate family, but serious nonetheless. And it kinda went downhill from there, culminating in a burst water pipe thanks to a week of mega-freezing temperatures.

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If the ceiling fell in, it wouldn't be a surprise.

It’s been a rough day. I’ve already started working on getting drunk, and I doubt ML will be far behind me. It’s just one of those days that you want to be over and move on from.

It’s funny, though… it’s still Valentine’s Day, and we both found time in our horrible day to show our love for each other. I am really blessed to be married to a woman like her: someone who can make me smile on even the worst days. Someone who I know is on my side, no matter how bad things get. Someone who is a partner in parenting, a partner in love, and a partner in life.

If this sounds like this post is turning into one of those “I love my wife so much,” corny, romantic, Valentine’s Day posts… well, you’re right. Got a problem with that? Didn’t think so.

Wishing a VERY Valentine’s Day to everyone out there – for the few hours that are left, anyway. I hope that no matter how bad things get, that you look ahead with open eyes, open arms, and an open heart.

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Insert incredibly cute Valentine's Day photo here.

This past weekend was quite an intense experience. ML and I both agreed that we were craving some D/s play time, so we decided to turn my three day weekend into a “full submission” weekend. I will admit that the concept of multi-day play was more difficult than I expected – the degree of my submission seemed to wane slightly as the weekend went on, however I do feel that having the kids around the house contributed to this also.

Friday started off pretty much as you’d expect from reading ML’s rules – I spent a few minutes pleasing My Lady’s pussy with my tongue before it was time to get up and get the kids ready for school. My cock was aching in its cage as she softly moaned, obviously in no immediate hurry. She didn’t even demand and orgasm from me… sometimes that’s even more frustrating for me: the fact that she can cum anytime she wants, but sometimes chooses not to (meanwhile, I’m desperate to cum, but have no choice but not to).

When it was time for me to wake up – or, should I say, when My Lady allowed me to get out of bed – I was immediately started on my water-drinking program. ML instructed me to drink two large cups of water with breakfast (quickly reaching half of my minimum quota in only one meal), and to follow that with a cup of coffee. I could already see that she had plans to test the limits of my bladder, and that those limits would be tested very quickly.

I finished my drinks as ML did homeschool work with our daughter. As I sat watching TV, I received a text message from none other than ML:

Go in the bathroom right now and unlock yourself, stroke that big thick cock of mine to three edges. Then come out and drink another cup of water.

I was happy to be unlocked, but I was also extremely frustrated after the three edges. The worst thing, though, was standing in the bathroom and feeling the urge to pee starting to build, yet not being able to relieve myself. By the time I finished my third cup of water, I could feel the need to go getting even stronger.

I snuck at text message to ML, asking if her “subby hubby” could use the rest room, and got the following response:

You can go when I get back.

Before I was able to ask, ML called to me from the other room and said that she was going out to run some errands with our daughter. “How long will you be gone?” I asked.

“I’m not sure,” she replied with a wicked smile. I squirmed on the couch just a bit, and she chuckled. She leaned down to give me a kiss, and whispered in my ear, “I want you to edge that cock every fifteen minutes while I’m gone.” Then she reached down and gave my hardening cock a squeeze before she was off and out the door.

It didn’t take me long to go from handing it ok to being somewhat uncomfortable with the need to go pee. The combination of a full bladder and the repeated edging were taking its toll on my ability to manage my “needs.” About 45 minutes after ML left, I got another text from her:

I hope you are still drinking your water. I’d hate to come home and find out you weren’t following my instructions. 🙂

Her command was clear. Her intentions, not so much. Did she want me to have to piss in my pants? To have to sit in it and wait for her to come home so I could clean myself and properly relieve myself? I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer, so instead I asked how long it would be until she got back.

I got no response.

So I sat there – slowly progressing towards agony as my bladder screamed for relief, continuing to make the problem worse by drinking more water, and increasing the building pressure with repeated edges… and it was all because it was exactly what My Lady wanted from me. I waited another hour, checking the driveway, waiting for her to come home. I could think of nothing else but when would she get home. I’m sure this is precisely what she wanted me to be thinking.

Just as I was about to give up on holding it in, ML ‘s car pulled into the driveway. I was so happy to see her so I could use the bathroom. Of course, she took her sweet time exiting the car and walking up to the house, pushing me just a little farther. When she came in the house, I begged her to use the restroom. Mercifully, she allowed me to. It was such a relief to be able to pee after needing to go so badly for so long.

A knock on the door broke me out of my “ahhhhhhhh” moment. My Lady called to me through the door. “Three more edges before you come out, darling,” she said, “and plug your ass, as well… if you are a good boy, I might let you take it out before bed.”

Click here for part 2! 🙂

This weekend cagedmonkey and I have discussed and agreed that it will be a full submission weekend. We’ve had full submission days and weekend before but not to the level I am planning to take this one. I have written a list of rules that he will follow. If he forgets or does not follow one of the rules, he will be earning demerits, so to speak. For each rule that goes unfollowed, at any time, I will mark it down. For every mark he has on Sunday evening he will receive 1 swat with my paddle. Mmmm cannot wait to spank that sexy little ass, even if he has no demerits! 🙂

Starting today, cagedmonkey will do anything I ask him to without question. It may be as simple as getting me a drink to following me in the other room, eating my pussy and giving me and orgasm. I have complied a list of rules that I want followed. Some of these things we already do but not to the extent we are doing them this weekend. It’s not that easy to have these kinds of rules in place everyday with young children in the house. This weekend it is required he find a way to follow each and every rule.

Here is my rule list:
1. No matter what I ask or tell him he must answer with “Yes, ma’am” without question or comment.

2. Every morning, he is to wake me, kiss my lips tell me “Good Morning, Ma’am” and then eat my pussy before we get out of bed.

3. He is required to drink 64oz of water each day – plus anything else I tell him to drink or that he asks to, when I tell him to.

4. He is to only use the bathroom when I allow him to. He may ask to use it but he must ask in a way that is pleasing to me. (Ex. May your loving subby hubby use the bathroom now?)

5. He is to kiss me and then ask anytime he needs or wants to leave a room. (Ex. May I go to the kitchen and….)

6. He is to eat what and when I tell him to eat and if he wants something other than that he must ask appropriately.

7. He will be required to wear the small or large nJoy butt plug any time I tell him to, for however long I tell him to.

8. He will be caged, uncaged, stroked, etc at my discretion and will stop what he is doing immediately and go do what ever I tell him when I tell him.

I’m sure there are a few little things here or there that we already do that I haven’t added to this list. I wrote this list here so we both know what to expect from each other and we know exactly what rules I will be enforcing and keep track of for punishment.

Plus it’s a bonus that I get to share these with all of you. I hope that you guys get a chance sometime to have your own full submission weekend… Or even a day. It’s so lovely to feel so powerful. Like CM mentioned in his last post, it’s not a way we could live constantly everyday because I would feel like I was waaaaaaay too micromanaging but I do love these periodic times we get to explore and enjoy this!

Thank you to everyone commenting, emailing and following along! 2016 sure is going to be an exciting time for all of us! 🙂