Female Led Relationship

Last night cagedmonkey and I finally got that night alone. We knew it was coming so actually, earlier in the day, we started some extra control and CM was to ask to use the bathroom (by the end if the night he was really begging haha) and what he should wear, how much coffee/water/alcohol he was allowed, etc. I also tasked him with making us special dinner after the kids left with grandma. He made a very delicious steak with sauteed fresh mushrooms and onions and parmesan couscous. It was amazingly delicious! I needed way more mushrooms!

It always feels good to control more of him when I feel ignored and disobeyed by my own children haha. Anyway, it was munch night so before we left I had cagedmonkey locked in his cage and his collar. 

For the actual munch he was dressed in our Monkey in a Cage blog t-shirt because it’s always fun to advertise the blog. We met up with our kinky friends for some drinks (lots of drinks hehe) and lots of laughing, licks and fun. I had my big ass blue margarita of course!

There were so many people there and some newbies and we just had a wonderful time. After munch we came home and visited with the neighbors for a bit since they had some kinky friends over for game night. That was a whole other bunch of fun and lots of boobs hehe. 

After we left the neighbors we came home and played around a little and I made sure cagedmonkey gave me exactly what I needed. Apparently, after teasing him and playing with him some this past week, I needed it bad! It’s nice sometimes to have the alcohol involved sex where he can last a little longer and I can cum a lot harder. I had him fuck me so nice and hard and long. I was kinda laying on my side and he just grabbed a hold of my hip and side and fucked me so good. Oh my goodness, it felt amazing and I came so hard and loud. I haven’t cum that loud in a while and this morning I even woke up with very sore muscles and a sore throat and voice. Cagedmonkey was denied again from Thanksgiving and must have been very turned on after all the girls licking each other and boobs flying out throughout the evening and how loud I was during sex that he exploded a big load of hot cum in my pussy. It seriously was incredible!

I wasn’t quite finished with CM after that, though. We cuddled up all spoon-like and we still had some extreme horniness hanging around and when I felt his still-hard cock against my ass I just reached back and took him and shoved his cock in my asshole and made him fuck my ass, no lube, no nothing, until I had another screamingly good orgasm. I guess I just needed to get fucked and fucked good and hard. I love how I have a big man who gives me whatever I need when I need and want it. He never questions when I tell him he’s going to please me, in whatever way I want him to. I seriously love our relationship and our sex. 

When we woke up this morning, a little later than normal, we had some good snuggle time without having to listen to the kids bickering in the other room. It was so nice to get up and have a quiet morning together. Again, cagedmonkey was to cook for me and, of course, he didn’t just cook, he cooked for me naked!

I did have to mess with him a bit while he was cooking… Because why not? Makes it a bit more fun! 🙂 I kept smacking his adorable ass and giving his cock a stroke, or four, while he was standing there. But, wow did he ever make some amazing eggs and hash browns! 

I know it doesn’t seem like much but it means a lot to me when he cooks and the two of us can sit and enjoy an uninterrupted meal together. We even got to go out and run some errands today together and it was wonderful just having this time. It’s not 100% about sex when we have time alone… That part is amazing but it’s about being more focused on each other and giving ourselves to each other more deeply and fully. 

I realized this morning that I’m starting to feel my mood sink. We got a bit busy coming up to the holidays and some of my control turned way less sexual. The house is hard to keep up with when both of us are working and the kid’s are here, there and everywhere. My control has been a lot more clean this, do this, do that, this kid needs to be here or picked up at this time, type of stuff. While, yes, I love being in charge of everything, I also very much enjoy being in charge sexually and there hasn’t been much time for sexual control. Let alone, after working and coming home to cook and clean and run kids places, the energy level is depleted.

This morning I was sitting here after doing some cleaning and realized that I’m feeling a strong need to Domme cagedmonkey. I texted him this morning and told him, “I need to feel some power over you, I need you to be vulnerable to me. I need to feel you shuddering and whimpering beneath me.” Yeah so that’s where I’m at right now. I’m sitting on the couch fantasizing about him being bound in a vulnerable position where I can do whatever I want to him. Where I can play with whatever part of him I want, make him feel what I want. It could be good, amazing, teasing feelings or maybe I want to give him a little discomfort. I can feel my chest get tight when I think about being a little aggressive and rough with him, that’s how I know I need it… Not just want it! I want to feel him powerless and vulnerable to my touch. I really to want and need to feel him whimpering and begging because he knows I’m controlling every sensation he’s having. I need to feel that change in his body when he realizes there is no use trying to hold out. I am fantasizing about him being tired and used and “done” but I just pick up his head and make him eat my pussy more anyway. 

I want and need a good intense powerful night with my hubby. I’m going to ask, again, if Grandma can take the kids this weekend. I asked her a few days ago but she never got back to me about it. 

There once was a man who was unable to have an erection. It wasn’t for a lack of trying or ability; rather, it was for lack of opportunity. You see, this man could not get his dick hard because there was a steel cage locked around his penis at all times.

This steel cage prevented any and all erections, even the most intense and most frantic of them. No matter how strongly out how often he was sexually aroused – which was very strongly and extremely often, thanks to his beautiful and sexy dominating wife – he was not able to have a full and complete erection.

Oh, there were plenty of attempts: any time his wife would tease or tempt him with words or actions, his penis would try as much as it could to get hard. The steel cage would only allow the slightest growth, however, before squeezing back and holding him fast. He would be left throbbing in his cage, desperate for the littlest experience of sexuality, the most basic sexual ability that nearly almost ask men enjoyed but he was denied.

Orgasms were completely out of the question – unable to even get a hardon, orgasms were nowhere near the realm of possibilities. His focus wasn’t on his orgasms, despite the fact that he couldn’t remember the last time he had one. His desire was centered completely around his penis, the need to get hard, and the denial of the chance to do so.

Why on Earth would the woman want to keep her husband’s penis locked in a metal cage? Not only would it be impossible for him to get a full erection, but it would also render his penis inaccessible to her. Lucky for her, the man was very talented at pleasing his wife by other means, ways that did not involve the use of his penis. Not only that, but the woman also get pleasure from the sheer power and control she felt when her husband was desperate for an erection, but could not have one because she was keeping him locked.

The man had nobody to blame but himself, for it was him who asked his wife to use the chastity cage in the first place. It was also him that suggested the lengthy bit of chastity that he was now forced to endure. “Surely,” he thought, “she will not be able to keep me locked up very much longer than we’ve done in the past… she had difficulty reaching 3 weeks in earlier attempts.” But three weeks came and went, with no sign of wavering or weakening from his wife.

And, at four weeks, it was the same: not only was his wife happy keeping her husband in constant chastity, she was enthused by his frustration to continue even further.

This was like nothing he has ever experienced before. His penis felt as if it were constantly crying out to him for just a moment of freedom, just a second of time to experience the full arousal that has already been denied for so long. But he could do nothing about it, except wait and suffer.

His wife joked around as the days went by, contemplating pushing him farther and farther. How long would this go on? “I”m not even sure,” she replied. “We’ll just have to see.”

And so he waited. He waited for the erection he so desperately wanted and needed, with no idea of when the ordeal would end. He would eventually be able to get fully hard, but only when his wife would allow it. It would have to be soon, it couldn’t go on forever.

At least, that’s what he told himself…

We’ve all heard the term “trophy wife” before… You know, the eye candy guys wear on their arm showing off the hot wife they have or whatever that’s about. Well I’d like to take a minute to talk about why I feel like I have a “Trophy Husband.” I’m not referring to the fact that I think he’s hot ass hell or has a sexy body or even a big dick… I’m referring to the fact that he’s an amazing man and husband. 

I’m a challenging wife. I’m controlling and dominant, I’m hurting and broken, I’m complicated and confusing, I’m funny and exciting and it takes a very strong man to be my partner and husband. My husband is my trophy husband because I won when God brought him into my life. When I’m physically hurting, he gets it, he helps and tries his best to make me rest. He rubs my back or hip or whatever and tries to make it feel better. When I’m depressed he doesn’t try to fix it but rather asks questions just to listen. On the flip side of all that, when I’m feeling horny he’s there to satisfy my needs. If I’m feeling devious or want to take out frustration, he’s there to take what I’m looking to give. If I’m feeling vulnerable and scared he reassures me and let’s me know the he is mine and no one else’s. If I’m feeling weak and in need of that powerful in-control feeling he offers himself for me to completely control. 

I don’t feel like eye candy should be the definition of a Trophy spouse… I feel like someone who is willing to give their all to their partner and complimenting their needs and wants and desires is the true trophy and that’s what we should be so willing to show off. Cagedmonkey truly is my trophy husband and I love “wearing him on my arm and showing him off.” 

On Friday I decided to send cagedmonkey a few pictures while he was at work. I wanted him ready for the weekend. I had already planned out some interesting tasks for him while at work and on his way home. So it started out in the morning as I was getting dressed. I sent him pictures of way I was wearing, I thought you all would love to see, as well.

I figured, since I had my nails done in a pretty pink that my outfit might as well match. First I sent him a picture to show him what panties I picked out.

Then I knew he would love to see my large breasts so I sent him a picture of the bra I decided to wear.

I knew if I kept sending him pictures of myself that he would get more and more horny for me. Seeing me in my bra and panties is such a tease for him. I sent one last picture to show him the shirt I was wearing. I knew this one would really get to him because… Well, you look and let me know what you think!

I also gave him a task to take a very specific picture for me while he was at work. Then on his way home he was to unlock – because I had plans to use him later – and he was to get my cock hard and take a picture. Then he was instructed to keep it hard the whole way home in the car, so that I could feel it (and tease it) when he got home. After sending him the pictures, and giving him task instructions, I knew he would have no problem whatsoever getting himself hard. When he got home I took a few moments to stroke him, edge him and tease him. It was a wonderful evening, teasing him and increasing his frustration by denying him any release. 

This morning… We dropped the kids off to spend the night at grandma’s house… I wonder what fun we be in store for cagedmonkey with no kids in the house for the night!?

You’ve probably already read the post from a few days ago where cagedmonkey mentioned I have him locked in the Steelworxx Revenge. So there is no need to get into all that. The Revenge is quite an interesting device because of the fact that it’s practically a fully enclosed device, keeping cagedmonkey from any sensation on his penis, be it clothing, bedsheets, or human touch, there is just no way to feel any of that through the Steel encasing his cock. 

I think it’s pretty amazing that I get to create this world where my hubby is virtually without his penis. I get to tease him and drive him crazy making him hornier and hornier and his cock feels nothing. Now that he’s locked in the Revenge… He’s going to have to try hard to remember the feeling of my tight wet pussy wrapped around his cock while he struggles against the steel. Even his “rooty” is different in the enclosed device, there really is no where for it to go, no bulging out between the bars. I’d imagine the pressure and aching must feel slightly different but that’s something for the experts and not my assumptions. Just wait until I torture him with sliding that cage into my hot wet pussy and he feels nothing, not even the warmth.

Now, I know he mentioned that we would be taking this round with the Revenge a little slower, kinda like when you get a new cage, we aren’t jumping right into the long term. So tonight, since it’s been pretty close to a week since I locked him in the Revenge, I had him remove the cage to make sure we had no redness or sore spots or anything that showed there were any issue. I did not see anything at all so now I will push him out about 10 days or so. I will remind anyone interested in an enclosed caged (not sure if this is just the case with steel or all enclosed) that there is a smell associated with the immediate removal of the cage, even after only a week, which included daily washing. Not a huge deal, just know you can’t take it out and play with your toy right away like you can with the Jail Bird. It definitely needs a quick wash. 

Tonight was a little rough on CM because even though he was temporarily out of the confines of the cage, I still refused to touch his cock. Just because we are doing inspections every so often certainly doesn’t mean the spirit of not feeling anything for a few weeks isn’t there. I loved hearing the frustration in his choice when he realized I wasn’t going to touch his cock, which immediately went from soft to rock hard within about a minute or so of removing the cage. I do love how it sounds when he’s so incredibly frustrated from the horniness and it’s all because of me. I know he loves it too. And maybe that’s what makes it even more exciting! 🙂

I used to have this whole thing about wanting to be the one who worked and my hubby would stay home and be the house husband. That has since changed and I’ve become a hell of a lot more realistic about my life. I realized I should be the mom, the one to stay home and be with the kids. That’s what I did for 12 years and I have loved every minute if it. I wouldn’t change it. It was what was supposed to be. 

However, let me tell you about a time when I was younger and I thought, the only way I could keep a guy was to be the one who worked and supported us and he got to do whatever he wanted. Staying home, getting sex, etc. I thought, how could I guy ever leave a woman who gives him such freedom? Well when I was young I thought, I’d just keep a guy locked up in my house, all for me, for when I wanted him. 

Well yesterday, was an interesting day, I had to work and hubby was off work. Normally on his days off I would be home and we’d play or have sex all day or something but not this time. This time I had a house husband who was working hard, cutting the lawn and completing a “Honey Do” list which included some cock stroking. I kept him nice and horny during all of his sweaty work for me. I was turning myself on quite a bit while I was at work. Just thinking about him at home working hard, doing as I asked if him and then when I got home… We had some lunch and some perfectly wonderful bent over the bed, fucked from behind sex. All because I wanted it and he had to give it to me. 

It really was a fun day, tiring for hubby and we didn’t get in much play at night but we did have some good during the day play and he got to cum on my big round ass in the afternoon before the kids got home from school. 🙂

Assuming that My Lady doesn’t get the urge to unlock me later tonight (and there’s no reason to think that she will), tomorrow will make it 3 full weeks into 2017… three full weeks that I have been locked in the Jailbird, day and night. Three full weeks of my cock throbbing and struggling inside the bars of my chastity cage. Three full weeks of troubled sleep thanks to unattainable nighttime erections.

Three full weeks of nothing anywhere near this.

Three full weeks of realizing that I look pretty damn sexy with my cock locked in chastity.

The “longest lockup” benchmark for me is quickly approaching, and this time around it seems as though ML is perfectly content to let it continue. I, of course, am getting really desperate… but there is a not-so-small part of me that actually enjoys the idea of being driven even further insane by my need for a simple erection. In fact, I can’t deny or ignore the fact that my cock slowly fills my cage whenever I think about it.

Now, there is NO way I’d be able to handle being locked up over a span of multiple months. I really do need the freedom of getting hard and fucking ML (at least occasionally), and I know ML feels the same. I was actually surprised this time around that we’ve gone so long – two days ago was the first time ML and I didn’t have penetrative sex on our anniversary. As horrible as that sounds, though, it didn’t feel out of the ordinary at all.

This is who we are now. This is our love; this is our marriage – my wife keeps my cock locked in a steel chastity cage for as long as she wants, uses my cock for her pleasure, and teases and denies me orgasms until she wants me to experience that pleasure. It’s amazing, and it couldn’t be any more perfect for either of us. I need this, and My Lady needs it just as much. 

That doesn’t make waiting weeks for a full erection any easier, though.

I talk with a lot of submissive guys and girls, and they contact to me for a variety of reasons. I enjoy each and every one of them, but if I’m being completely honest, some of the submissives I talk with could easily be tagged with the description “strong-willed.” I know these subs can be difficult to Dom/me at times. I secretly enjoy, just a little bit, the determination these subs have. Yes, they can be stubborn and difficult, and they will state their cases whenever they can, but they certainly have passion. Strong-willed submissives can be exhausting, that’s for sure. But they also tend to grow into very obedient people with the right direction. When they learn to channel that determination, they take healthy risks — they learn to work through failure and keep trying. There’s a lot to love about strong willed submissives, us Dominants just need to learn how to survive them.

I thought I would take a few minutes to talk about some things that may be helpful for a Dom/me when they find they have themselves a strong-willed submissive!

Strong-willed subs are known for their power struggles. If they find an opening, they pounce. Routines and rules provide a great foundation (they take some of the guesswork out of the day), but they can be particularly helpful for strong-willed submissives. Try not to go nuts and overwhelm them with hundreds of rules and expectations. You can’t avoid every possible power struggle along the way, but a list of rules and expectations can help avoid some of the daily power struggles that wear on your nerves.

Strong-willed subs are often doers by default. If it seems like your submissive is always learning the hard way, that’s because he/she probably learns best by trial and error. Strong-willed subs have big ideas, and they may prefer to test their ideas or try telling you about them – this may seem like topping from the bottom but it can be done correctly using communication. If your sub follows the rules (ie: you must tell me any and all fantasies without assumption that they will be fulfilled), is there really any harm in letting them tell you about their fantasies? I find that many power struggles emerge between strong-willed subs and their partners because the subs have very strong opinions, and they tend to stick to them. You do have to set realistic rules and expectations, and you do have to follow through on those.

It’s extremely important to listen carefully.
Given that tenacious submissives tend to have a lot of very strong opinions and prefer to share those opinions often, Dom/mes can start ignoring them at times. It can be exhausting, and sometimes you just don’t want to debate why your rules are your rules. It’s important to listen. Sharing their ideas and opinions is how strong-willed subs work through things. If they appear stubborn at times, it’s because they have strong beliefs and integrity. They want to share that with you. Listen to your submissive and empathize. Help them channel that stubbornness into a positive. So your sub really wants to be dressed in certain types of clothing? Teach them how to research the pros and cons and engage in a healthy give-and-take on the matter instead of simply stating their need over and over again. No one likes whining and nagging. They might not get to wear those frilly pink panties, because it’s not something you are into, but at least they will feel heard and learn some important communication skills in the process. This is also an opportunity for a Dominant partner to compromise and even if you aren’t into a specific kink they are maybe you can negotiate a way to help fulfill that desire for them. Perhaps you don’t like them wearing feminine clothing but know they would like to try it… so you require them to wear them under their clothing whenever they are not around you. It’s a great reminder of who is in control… taps into their kink and doesn’t bother you in the least! 🙂

One of the things I find we need to ask ourselves is:
Are you being an intentional Dominant?
I like to think of being a Dominant in three ways:

Automatic: the stuff you do constantly and without thinking, like letting them know you are thinking about them, teasing them mentally and sexually, making sure they have and are following rules, praising behavior, etc.

Reactive: providing discipline and correcting behavior, giving after-care, fulfilling fantasies

Proactive: the stuff you really think about and plan ahead for, like an intense bondage, pegging or spanking scene.

Now ask yourself and be honest: How much time do you spend a week on proactive stuff — like really thinking about what it is you want your submissive to experience, and then putting together a plan to make it happen? That’s the first step to becoming a more intentional Dom/me.

The next thing to think about is focus. How often are we giving our subs our full and undivided attention? Do we listen to their fantasies with our whole heart? Do we set aside specific times each day to be fully and intentionally present?

It’s a new year once again! Time can go by so damn quick sometimes – it seems like just yesterday ML and I were thinking about what was in store for us in 2016. I thought it would be fun to see what we got right and what we got wrong.

Let’s see…

…we’ll be moving into a new house…

Yeah, that didn’t happen. Instead of settling in, putting down roots, and building a new house for ourselves (with an extra bedroom set aside for a playroom); we ended up moving out-of-state (AGAIN), into an apartment (AGAIN), for a new job (AGAIN). We’re in a much better situation now, though… and we got a really nice new bed out of it, too!

…adding some exciting new features to our blog…

Something we were right about! This year we started recording our podcast, which turned out to be even more awesome than we expected. We’ve received great feedback from many of our readers/followers, and we have a ton of fun doing it!

… My Lady is going to deny me orgasms for the entire year…

You can’t say that we didn’t try. And it’s not like ML let me off easy – going 299 days without an orgasm is extremely difficult, with or without her near-constant teasing driving me insane. I doubt we will be trying another major denial period anytime soon; the ideal wasn’t easy for ML, either. Then again, we don’t really expect to plan out my denial periods too much, so who really knows if we’ll end up doing it again?

One thing that 2016 has taught us is that no matter how certain you are about something, you can never fully know what’s in store. My Lady and I learned a while ago that trying to predict the future is a waste of time. We live without expectations. What will we find in 2017? What will we be doing? Where will we be this time next year? I have no fucking idea… but My Lady and I will have fun getting there. 🙂

Have a happy and horny new year!