D/s

It started out as an innocent attempt to increase the excitement in their sex lives.

Michael and Emily had been practicing chastity for almost a year, alternating as each other’s keyholder. They enjoyed how horny being locked chastity made them, how desperate and needy they became for one another. The only problem was their conviction – they could only keep themselves locked for a week or so maximum before the desire was too strong to resist. They wanted to go longer, but they couldn’t. They turned to Sophia for help.

Sophia was a good friend of Michael and Emily, they had met through meetups and get togethers through the kink community in their area. Sophia had a husband who she also kept in chastity – Michael and Emily were always amazed at how Sophia could keep her husband locked up for months at a time. Sophia’s husband had also not had a full orgasm in over 8 months, and she had no plans on allowing him to have one any time soon.

“There’s no way I would be able to go that long without Michael’s cock inside me,” Emily once told Sophia. “I think I’d die!”

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” Sophia replied.

So, when Michael and Emily realized that they would need help taking their kink to the next level, they turned to Sophia for help. They agreed to let Sophia hold their keys for a year and be in control of when they would be unlocked and allowed to have sex with each other.

“You’re sure you want this?” Sophia asked. “If I’m in control of the both of you, I’m not going to go easy on you. In fact, I would do everything I could to make it a living hell for both of you, because that’s what I enjoy…”

“We are sure,” Michael said. “We are ready for this.”

They were not ready for this.

It only took two weeks of being locked in chastity 24/7 for Michael and Emily to realize they were in way over their heads. Michael and Emily were absolutely desperate for some sort of penetrative sex with each other, but Sophia would not allow it. She kept both of them locked up tight in their chastity belts, letting the need build slowly. Michael and Emily felt the ache growing with each passing day, but could do nothing to fulfill their desires.

After a month in chastity, Sophia had basically turned Michael and Emily into sex starved maniacs. Even just the thought of sex would cause Michael’s cock to swell and throb in his cage, and Emily could feel her pussy nearly dripping through the steel plate over her crotch. She sometimes found herself absentmindedly stroking the chastity belt, wishing she could be rubbing her pussy instead. When Michael noticed this, he would whimper to himself, wishing he could take advantage of his god-awfully horny wife.

After two months of chastity, Michael and Emily were both desperate for an orgasm. Emily found herself grinding her pussy against objects during the day, rubbing herself against the counter as she cooked or fruitlessly humping a pillow as she tried to sleep. Michael could feel his underwear brush against his cock through the bars of his chastity cage with almost every step he took. Sophia used their desperation against them during this time, upping the intensity by introducing the couple to some bondage games. Sophia would tie Michael and Emily up together chastity belt to chastity belt, and wedge her wand between the two of them. When she turned the wand on, it vibrated the steel around both of their sexes, and it didn’t take long before both Michael and Emily were frantically thrusting into each other trying to get off. But the vibration wasn’t enough to get either of them off in chastity, it only made things worse.

After three months, Michael and Emily seriously began to regret asking Sophia for her help. They had hoped that she would occasionally unlock them for some sexual contact, but Sophia had kept them locked constantly. They could plainly see that Sophia was enjoying this even more than she thought she would – having two chastity slaves to play with was even more exciting than just one! Sophia tortured Michael and Emily by inviting her husband over, letting him out of chastity, and forcing them to watch him fuck her all night long. Sophia’s husband was more than happy to participate, as Sophia allowed him to cum more times that night than he had for the entire last year combined! Emily watched as Sophia’s pussy was stretched by her husband’s cock over and over, and Michael watched as Sophia’s tits were covered in cum. Would they ever get to feel that again with each other, or would Sophia keep them locked up forever?

Sophia answered that question about a month later by telling Michael and Emily that she would be unlocking them for the first time and allowing them to have sex with each other, but it would be on her terms. Michael and Emily quickly agreed – how bad could it be if they were finally going to be able to have sex?

They had no idea how evil Sophia could be.———————————————————————

“Please!” both Emily and Michael were begging. “Please, faster! PLEEEEEASE!!!!”

Sophia was incredibly turned on by the scene playing out in front of her. She had spent weeks thinking of the perfect situation to torture Michael and Emily with their own desires, and she had finally come up with the perfect way to do so.

Sophia was sure to restrain both Michael and Emily before removing their chastity devices. After being locked up for so long, it was frustrating to not be able to touch themselves, but being unlocked was enough of a release… for now. Sophia had placed Emily in her steel stockade on her hands and knees in doggy-style position, complete with a locking collar and waistpad to hold her in place. She was strapped down tight to the waistpad so that she couldn’t move her hips even the slightest inch. Michael was on his knees behind Emily, with his hands cuffed and attached to the ceiling above him. His predicament was what Sophia considered to be her masterpiece.

Michael’s balls were held in a tight grip by Sophia’s fucking machine, pulled slightly down and away from his body. There was not much discomfort when the arm of the fucking machine was pushed forward, but he felt the pain of being tugged when the fucking machine cycled backwards. This prevented Michael from thrusting into Emily’s pussy out of synch with the rhythm of the fucking machine. Sophia had also rigged the fucking machine with a firm backrest that caused the fucking machine to push Michael forward, forcing his cock into Emily’s pussy with each thrust. Essentially, Sophia had turned Michael into a flesh-and-blood fucking machine, able to easily control him with the turn of a dial. Michael would fuck Emily at the pace Sophia wanted, regardless of how fast or slow either of them wanted him to.

Of course, Sophia had no intention of allowing Michael to fuck Emily hard and fast, like both of them so badly craved. In fact, Sophia had set the fucking machine for the slowest speed possible at the moment, causing Michael’s cock to sink into Emily’s pussy at an excrutiatingly slow pace. Each thrust of his cock took at least five seconds to plunge fully into Emily’s pussy, and another five seconds to pull out. After only a few minutes of this slow fucking torture, Emily began to try to move her hips back onto Michael’s cock. The stockade held her in place, but she couldn’t help but try. Sophia was getting very wet watching Emily’s futile attempts at impaling herself on Michael’s hard cock. Emily’s body was moving on its own accord, her shoulders hunching back and forth trying to get any type of movement going, but her pussy didn’t move an inch back or forth. Soon, Emily was wailing loudly, her entire body trembling as she could not contain her frustration any more.

Michael found very quickly that the pain of having his balls pulled was not bearable enough for him to fuck Emily in the way he wanted. He certainly tried, but could only manage an inch or two of penetration before he needed to pull away. Even if he could take the pain, having his balls pulled in that way would definitely prevent him from having the orgasm he so badly needed. Michael could only slouch against his restraints, taking only what the machine was giving him, silently begging for the machine to speed up so he could cum. Occasionally, his hips would involuntarily thrust forward in a fit of uncontrolled desire, causing him to yelp out in pain as the machine pulled his balls forcefully.

As Sophia had promised, Michael and Emily were in hell. They wanted nothing more but to have crazy hot hard fucking sex with each other; Sophia had put them so close to what they so desperately needed, but she wouldn’t give it to them. She only tempted them with it in the worst way possible. Michael and Emily reached their breaking point within minutes of each other, both of them crying out and begging Sophia to make the torture end. Tears were streaming down Emily’s face as she couldn’t take it any longer, and Michael had gone limp and was reduced to a broken mess of sexually tortured flesh.

But Sophia let the torture continue.

Sophia watched as Michael and Emily went through stages of frantic frustration, to deflated acceptance of their fate, and back again. Each time she could see the moment of change: their bodies shaking back and forth trying to gain some control of their situation, and then sagging lifelessly in their restraints. They would shout, cry, scream, wail, and then fall silent as Michael’s cock mindlessly penetrated Emily’s pussy over and over.

But Sophia let the torture continue.

Sophia watched the couple, rubbing and teasing her wet pussy as she enjoyed the scene. She wanted to draw it out so that Michael and Emily would be forced to watch her have a massive orgasm while they were teased mercilessly. She let her pleasure build and build, her moans getting louder and louder. As it became clear that she was about to cum, Michael and Emily couldn’t help but stare as Sophia brought herself to a huge, screaming orgasm.

Sophia was surprised by the strength of her orgasm – she was enjoying torturing the couple a hell of a lot more than she thought she would, and her orgasm was fueled by the intense feeling of power she felt in the moment. Even her orgasm was killing them, and that made it even more sweeter.

Once Sophia had come down from her orgasm, she reached for the control for the fucking machine. She looked directly into Michael and Emily’s eyes as she turned up the speed. Both Michael and Emily cried out in response to the increased pleasure.

“OH MY GOD!!!!” Emily screamed as Michael fucked her harder and faster. Michael was grunting loudly as the machine forced his cock into Emily’s tight wet pussy. They both were racing towards an orgasm they had been desperately needing for so long. The machine pounded Michael’s cock into Emily’s pussy as they were both ready to cum…

Suddenly, Sophia cut the machine off on an outstroke, leaving just the tip of Michael’s cock inside Emily’s pussy.

“AAAAAAAAAH!” Emily shouted in horror, as her pussy began to spasm. “NOOOOOO!” Emily shoved herself back, desperate to get Michael’s cock back inside her as her pussy suffered through a ruined orgasm. Her pussy lips sucked at the head of Michael’s cock, trying to pull him in so that she could experience some sort of pleasure from this long-denied orgasm, but it was no use.

Michael had thrown his head back, ready to fill Emily’s pussy with a load of cum when the machine stopped. “UGGGGHHHHH?!?!” was all he could manage as he looked down at his cock just barely in Emily’s pussy. He watched as her pussy pulsed around the head of his cock, and he felt himself falling over the edge. He tried to hold back, knowing how frustrating a ruined orgasm would be after all of this. He gritted his teeth, squeezing hard and trying to hold his load in…

The pressure and need to cum was just too much; Michael’s ability to hold back failed, and Emily’s greedy pussy ended up bringing Michael off, his cock twitched through a ruined orgasm. His cum spilled out of his cock and into Emily’s pussy. Emily felt Michael’s cock pulsing, and she knew that he, too, was suffering through a ruined orgasm. Each of them was cumming, yet neither of them were able to fully enjoy it. Emily cried once again as she felt the ache building in her pussy once again.

“I hope you enjoyed fucking each other and your orgasms, because once Michael gets soft enough, you’ll both be going right back into your chastity cages…. I’m not through with you guys just yet. If you think this has been intense, wait until you see what I have in store for you for the rest of the year…”

We recently got gifted a couple things and I went shopping for some new toys to play with. I figured, why not start off this brand new year with some new toys? 

Some of these are not completely new but we did get more rope which gives us a lot more opportunity for new trying positions. We are looking forward to trying cagedmonkey in some predicament positions. Also the flogger itself is not a new thing but now I’ve got two and they are braided so I’m sure there will be a different feeling going on when I use those! The anal hook and Wartenberg wheel are completely new which I’m sure will only add to the freshness that is too come. 

Have you used any of these before and would you like to share your experience as either the giver or receiver? We would love to hear from you! 🙂

We really do not get much time for play these days. Now that the kids are older and staying up later, we get very limited time alone, especially when grandma’s living situation changed and she isn’t taking the kids overnight anymore. Last week, hubby had a very rare day off work so I took half a day at work myself so we could get a little playtime in while the kids were in summer camp. I broke down and paid for them to be in half day camp so they would stop calling me at work so much. Lol

Anyway, I came home from work and immediately walked over to hubby and made him give me a kiss to welcome me home. Though, it wasn’t just any kiss… Basically I put my pussy on his face and made him lick it. 🙂 I just love walking over to him, saying nothing and just sitting in his face or at least making my point known that he is to stop what he’s doing and eat my pussy. Once I was properly welcomed home we had a little relax and eat lunch time and then I instructed him to the bedroom. As soon as we got in the bedroom I quickly tied his wrists into some rope cuffs… I do love how fast I’ve gotten at making decent cuffs with the rope. Then I tied his wrists to the top of our poster bed. He was standing there, sexy and exposed and unable to move. Just waiting for whatever it was that I would do to him.  I spent a good amount of time using my flogger on him while he stood there. He does such an amazing job taking my flogging and spanking. I also loved making him moan and try to wiggle as I ran my nails all over his body. Lightly scratching down his arms, around to his chest, down his stomach and trailing to his side’s down to his bum and then his thighs. I really do get so wet from the noises he makes. I decided then to make things a little more interesting for him so I used the wand on him while I tickled his asshole and lightly slid the tip of my finger into his tightness. I eventually instructed him to hold the wand with his thighs, between his legs while I flogged him again until his skin was a gorgeous rosy color. 

In between flogging cagedmonkey I would reach around to his caged cock and squeeze the base where rooty was so prominent. I just love the reaction I get when I grab it and stroke it behind the cage, feeling his balls get tights and tighter. It turns me on so much seeing and feeling those reactions that are almost completely involuntary. I was so turned on by everything and every sound he was making that my pussy was so incredibly wet. After about an hour of standing there taking what I wanted to give him and my pussy practically dripping down my legs, I untied him and made him lick up the delicious sloppy mess between my legs. Of course I made him take a picture just before so we could share it all with you. 🙂

You’ve probably already read the post from a few days ago where cagedmonkey mentioned I have him locked in the Steelworxx Revenge. So there is no need to get into all that. The Revenge is quite an interesting device because of the fact that it’s practically a fully enclosed device, keeping cagedmonkey from any sensation on his penis, be it clothing, bedsheets, or human touch, there is just no way to feel any of that through the Steel encasing his cock. 

I think it’s pretty amazing that I get to create this world where my hubby is virtually without his penis. I get to tease him and drive him crazy making him hornier and hornier and his cock feels nothing. Now that he’s locked in the Revenge… He’s going to have to try hard to remember the feeling of my tight wet pussy wrapped around his cock while he struggles against the steel. Even his “rooty” is different in the enclosed device, there really is no where for it to go, no bulging out between the bars. I’d imagine the pressure and aching must feel slightly different but that’s something for the experts and not my assumptions. Just wait until I torture him with sliding that cage into my hot wet pussy and he feels nothing, not even the warmth.

Now, I know he mentioned that we would be taking this round with the Revenge a little slower, kinda like when you get a new cage, we aren’t jumping right into the long term. So tonight, since it’s been pretty close to a week since I locked him in the Revenge, I had him remove the cage to make sure we had no redness or sore spots or anything that showed there were any issue. I did not see anything at all so now I will push him out about 10 days or so. I will remind anyone interested in an enclosed caged (not sure if this is just the case with steel or all enclosed) that there is a smell associated with the immediate removal of the cage, even after only a week, which included daily washing. Not a huge deal, just know you can’t take it out and play with your toy right away like you can with the Jail Bird. It definitely needs a quick wash. 

Tonight was a little rough on CM because even though he was temporarily out of the confines of the cage, I still refused to touch his cock. Just because we are doing inspections every so often certainly doesn’t mean the spirit of not feeling anything for a few weeks isn’t there. I loved hearing the frustration in his choice when he realized I wasn’t going to touch his cock, which immediately went from soft to rock hard within about a minute or so of removing the cage. I do love how it sounds when he’s so incredibly frustrated from the horniness and it’s all because of me. I know he loves it too. And maybe that’s what makes it even more exciting! 🙂

I used to have this whole thing about wanting to be the one who worked and my hubby would stay home and be the house husband. That has since changed and I’ve become a hell of a lot more realistic about my life. I realized I should be the mom, the one to stay home and be with the kids. That’s what I did for 12 years and I have loved every minute if it. I wouldn’t change it. It was what was supposed to be. 

However, let me tell you about a time when I was younger and I thought, the only way I could keep a guy was to be the one who worked and supported us and he got to do whatever he wanted. Staying home, getting sex, etc. I thought, how could I guy ever leave a woman who gives him such freedom? Well when I was young I thought, I’d just keep a guy locked up in my house, all for me, for when I wanted him. 

Well yesterday, was an interesting day, I had to work and hubby was off work. Normally on his days off I would be home and we’d play or have sex all day or something but not this time. This time I had a house husband who was working hard, cutting the lawn and completing a “Honey Do” list which included some cock stroking. I kept him nice and horny during all of his sweaty work for me. I was turning myself on quite a bit while I was at work. Just thinking about him at home working hard, doing as I asked if him and then when I got home… We had some lunch and some perfectly wonderful bent over the bed, fucked from behind sex. All because I wanted it and he had to give it to me. 

It really was a fun day, tiring for hubby and we didn’t get in much play at night but we did have some good during the day play and he got to cum on my big round ass in the afternoon before the kids got home from school. 🙂

Ugh… NO!!!

I recently got, yet another, email about locking up a guy. I get them pretty often but just about every time I get one, I need to respond with something along the lines of you can’t just lock up a guys cock and throw away the key. I do want to mention, I know there could be a guy or two out there that does actually want to be locked up, have the key thrown away and their dick completely unused and forgotten about. As a matter of fact, I have such a boy, who’s key I hold, that enjoys the fact that there is nothing he can do or say to get his key back or get his cock unlocked… ever. There is really no use for his puny little cock. That is something that is few and far between and even in his circumstance, I STILL keep him mentally teased and reminded of his predicament every so often.

Male chastity with a spouse or partner, however, is usually not about not having sex or not having to “deal” with your guy once he’s locked up. If anything, it might be more work when you’ve got someone under lock and key. I’ve written about this plenty of times and I’ve even done a podcast on it. When you get a guy to give up control of his most intimate parts, he’s also giving you an incredible amount of trust. He’s trusting that you won’t lock up his dick and forget about it. He needs to know that you enjoy having him locked up as much as he enjoys being locked up for you. He may have a constant physical reminder of who owns his cock but there definitely needs to be some consistent mental reminders. Especially those amazing mindfucks that cause him to press and struggle against the cage, aching to be released. 

I really can’t stress enough about how important it is to give attention to the one you control. Your words, alone, can have a huge impact on how their time in chastity will be. When I say you need to give attention, I’m not necessarily talking about constant physical attention. I do think there needs to be some of that as well but, more than that, the mental side of things will certainly keep your guy from getting lonely. One of the most important things to remember, when locking up a guy, is that it’s going to be work. You do not want them getting lonely and feeling sexually forgotten about. I’m pretty sure I even have a blog post here with lots of ideas of how to keep your guy mentally mindfucked and well teased while locked up. Look around a bit.

Wow! What an awesome weekend!! If you’d have asked me 5 years ago if I thought we would be doing what we’re doing right now I would have called you fucking crazy… actually even 3 years ago!! Cagedmonkey and I had a chance to get to our local munch again this past weekend and it was so much fun. We always love getting there to see friends and just laugh and enjoy some time with other people who we feel comfortable being ourselves with. We met this really great couple a month or so ago when we were still pretty new to going to the munch and they happen to have private dungeon. They’ve invited us over before but we just haven’t had a chance to make it. Well, on Saturday, they invited us and some other people from the munch over to their place for a kind of little after party. It really was just a continuation of the munch, except for the fact that there was a bit more going on than what could ever happen in a public restaurant! Hehe I know we mentioned some of this in our last podcast so you get the picture. I do want to say that even though people might think if you go to a private dungeon party or get invited over their house it’s going to be some kind of crazy sex party – it’s really not! I’m sure that may happen but I’m going to guess most of the time it’s just certain types of play. It was so much fun hanging out and some of the time I was kind of reminded of high school when you’d go hang out at in a friend’s basement sneaking beer!

Let me back up a bit though before I go on with the dungeon party. Earlier in the day grandma had come to get the kids for the night so cagedmonkey and I had the entire afternoon to spend time together. You know that meant we got in some good intense playtime. 🙂 I decided to take advantage of the time we had and I locked cagedmonkey in our steel doggy style Stockade. This time I actually used the locking collar attachment since I’d recently lined the collar with a thin layer of neoprene foam.

I really wanted him bound well and unable to move so I could try our a few of my paddles and things on him. He was so trusting and wonderful to take everything I had to give him. And trust me I gave it to him hard and non-stop for almost an hour. I used a few different paddles and the flogger and I also spent some time tickling him while he was locked up and immobile. It was so fun to watch him squirm! I took a picture in the beginning when his sexy butt was nice and red and you could just start to see the marks.

I was also giving his balls a little paddling as well, during it all. I do wish I would have gotten a picture at the end. I had decided to push him harder and in fact I decided to push him past harder to too hard. I wanted to trust that he would use his safeword and so I beat him extremely hard to see where it was that he would, in fact, ask me to stop. I really wanted to get him to his ultimate breaking point. My man took a hell of a lot of me that day… And then we ended up at the dungeon party where, well, he got beat more! At the end of our daytime session I did have to show him just how dripping wet my pussy was and have him clean it up afterwards.

The dungeon party was a ton of fun. There were about 6 couples there total but I to believe we were the only couple with a male submissive. It was all good and we got to see some others using the equipment and the different toys available and some even shared and gave us all a chance to spank their sub. That was fun! 🙂

When it was our turn, I had cagedmonkey get on the spanking bench so I could try out a few of their toys. They had floggers of many styles, paddles, whips, canes, you name it and I also brought my new wooden paddle that my friend got for me. Since I’d already worked hubby over earlier I was really just interested in trying a couple things. I was able to use a cane and then I ended his night with an extremely hard swat with my wooden paddle. 

I will say, they left some pretty spectacular marks on his ass… That stayed for days. I personally think they looked so incredibly awesome the next day…

The lines are from the cane and the big red mark there on his left cheek is from the paddle. I will say that even two days later those marks remained. It truly was a spectacular feeling letting that out and using those different things on him. It felt exhilarating! 

I told hubby next time I need to get him up on their cross… It’s a good thing we already got invited to the next party! 🙂

I talk with a lot of submissive guys and girls, and they contact to me for a variety of reasons. I enjoy each and every one of them, but if I’m being completely honest, some of the submissives I talk with could easily be tagged with the description “strong-willed.” I know these subs can be difficult to Dom/me at times. I secretly enjoy, just a little bit, the determination these subs have. Yes, they can be stubborn and difficult, and they will state their cases whenever they can, but they certainly have passion. Strong-willed submissives can be exhausting, that’s for sure. But they also tend to grow into very obedient people with the right direction. When they learn to channel that determination, they take healthy risks — they learn to work through failure and keep trying. There’s a lot to love about strong willed submissives, us Dominants just need to learn how to survive them.

I thought I would take a few minutes to talk about some things that may be helpful for a Dom/me when they find they have themselves a strong-willed submissive!

Strong-willed subs are known for their power struggles. If they find an opening, they pounce. Routines and rules provide a great foundation (they take some of the guesswork out of the day), but they can be particularly helpful for strong-willed submissives. Try not to go nuts and overwhelm them with hundreds of rules and expectations. You can’t avoid every possible power struggle along the way, but a list of rules and expectations can help avoid some of the daily power struggles that wear on your nerves.

Strong-willed subs are often doers by default. If it seems like your submissive is always learning the hard way, that’s because he/she probably learns best by trial and error. Strong-willed subs have big ideas, and they may prefer to test their ideas or try telling you about them – this may seem like topping from the bottom but it can be done correctly using communication. If your sub follows the rules (ie: you must tell me any and all fantasies without assumption that they will be fulfilled), is there really any harm in letting them tell you about their fantasies? I find that many power struggles emerge between strong-willed subs and their partners because the subs have very strong opinions, and they tend to stick to them. You do have to set realistic rules and expectations, and you do have to follow through on those.

It’s extremely important to listen carefully.
Given that tenacious submissives tend to have a lot of very strong opinions and prefer to share those opinions often, Dom/mes can start ignoring them at times. It can be exhausting, and sometimes you just don’t want to debate why your rules are your rules. It’s important to listen. Sharing their ideas and opinions is how strong-willed subs work through things. If they appear stubborn at times, it’s because they have strong beliefs and integrity. They want to share that with you. Listen to your submissive and empathize. Help them channel that stubbornness into a positive. So your sub really wants to be dressed in certain types of clothing? Teach them how to research the pros and cons and engage in a healthy give-and-take on the matter instead of simply stating their need over and over again. No one likes whining and nagging. They might not get to wear those frilly pink panties, because it’s not something you are into, but at least they will feel heard and learn some important communication skills in the process. This is also an opportunity for a Dominant partner to compromise and even if you aren’t into a specific kink they are maybe you can negotiate a way to help fulfill that desire for them. Perhaps you don’t like them wearing feminine clothing but know they would like to try it… so you require them to wear them under their clothing whenever they are not around you. It’s a great reminder of who is in control… taps into their kink and doesn’t bother you in the least! 🙂

One of the things I find we need to ask ourselves is:
Are you being an intentional Dominant?
I like to think of being a Dominant in three ways:

Automatic: the stuff you do constantly and without thinking, like letting them know you are thinking about them, teasing them mentally and sexually, making sure they have and are following rules, praising behavior, etc.

Reactive: providing discipline and correcting behavior, giving after-care, fulfilling fantasies

Proactive: the stuff you really think about and plan ahead for, like an intense bondage, pegging or spanking scene.

Now ask yourself and be honest: How much time do you spend a week on proactive stuff — like really thinking about what it is you want your submissive to experience, and then putting together a plan to make it happen? That’s the first step to becoming a more intentional Dom/me.

The next thing to think about is focus. How often are we giving our subs our full and undivided attention? Do we listen to their fantasies with our whole heart? Do we set aside specific times each day to be fully and intentionally present?

A little bit of a late Christmas post but we do hope that you all had a fantastic Christmas. We had a great time seeing family on Christmas Eve and enjoying a yummy dinner and gifts. Then we spent Christmas day at home as a family in jammies all day playing with new toys and, yesterday, our little Christmas-time was extended when we dropped the kids off to grandma’s so we could go out with a friend.

I think the kids were happy with all their new toys and hubby and I got things for each other that are more for both of us so that’s awesome. I did end up getting an amazing kinky gift too from our friend. Such an incredible, handcrafted piece and I am thoroughly impressed with it and so grateful to have been given this extremely thoughtful gift. I just love it so much and… It’s BLUE (and kind of silver looking)!!!

I completely love it and I can not wait to try it out. The handle is so perfect and it’s curved just right and fits in my hand. The wood is exquisite and so smooth. I fondled that thing all night and didn’t feel a single flaw. Not a bump or rough spot anywhere on it. It really is an amazing piece of work. I would have loved to try it out last night but just didn’t have the right opportunity. 🙂 

We love that we have gotten to share another year with you. Again, we hope you all had an awesome Christmas and hope you have a fantastic New Year!! 

I was asked recently what exactly I meant by “private public humiliation” and I felt the need to share what I mean here on the blog because I think a lot of Doms, subs, tops and/or bottoms would be interested in my take on this whole thing. First, let me get through the whole actual definition part of it all so everyone is well aware of what I’m talking about in general. Yes, I am sticking to the erotic nature of this because, obviously, that would be the ultimate goal here is to flick some sexual switch inside a person and get them turned on with all of this. Obviously if you want to know more about this type of psychological play please look it up. It’s a very touchy subject because it can get deep down into someone’s emotions and it can be a fine line between fun and not so fun and sometimes bordering on abuse – so lets not go there!

Definitions:

Erotic Humiliation is consensual psychological humiliation in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can and often does include the person being humiliated and demeaned but not always. This can be exciting for the person being humiliated or the person doing the humiliating, or for some spectator.

Public (Erotic) Humiliation is humiliation play performed in front of other people. It’s that simple, the submissive is verbally or physically humiliated in front of his or her friends, family members, or even strangers.

Private Public (Erotic) Humiliation is humiliation play that is performed in privately in a public setting, usually in front of friends, family members, or even strangers.

Now, let me get a little more in depth here. I’m not totally into humiliation or degradation, it really isn’t my thing. I do like to push boundaries and run submissive men along the edges of play, especially cagedmonkey. He very much does not like to be made to feel incompetent or stupid and definitely does not want to be degraded and talked down to. I think he has worked hard to finally build up his confidence and self esteem that doing those things to him would be detrimental. I, for one, am not about being bitchy or mean or putting someone down… however hubby and I have found that a little private humiliation or private embarrassment can be fun. You get a touch of the humiliation play without hurting one emotionally or, something I’m REALLY against, bringing some unwilling party into your play and exposing them to something that may not be at all into. What I mean is, sending your sub to Victoria’s Secret and making them tell the sale person they are looking for panties for themselves and perhaps making them expose the fact that they are in chastity. This type of play is not ok… that poor employee didn’t ask to be humiliated right along with the submissive so that is just something I am against.

I figured I’d take a minute to give you some ideas of how to privately do some public humiliation so here you go:

(Please note while I have done a lot of these things they are not all things I have done but they are ideas of things that could be done privately)

– wearing butt plug (especially out in public, doing mundane things)
– wearing a cock ring with an erection (Stay hard longer)
– masturbating in a public restroom
– going to drive thru, ordering food, then cumming on and eating it.
– wearing panties
– buying panties for himself
– wearing pantyhose
– wearing garter and stockings
– having to write degrading words on yourself/chest then where light colored shirt out
– send him to buy you feminine items (makeup, panties, bra’s, tampons)
– wearing female deodorant and/or perfume and using female bathing items
– choose his meal and order for him when eating out
– send him to the restroom while out to eat, make him edge himself and then walk back to the table hiding his erection
– have him paint your toe nails, and then have him paint his own to match
– sitting down at all times when using the toilet
– have him carry your purse when in public

– kneeling in front of you regularly, to speak to you or beg for something (including sexual things)

If you have some ideas of your own, please feel free to comment below and add them to the list. I’m so sure everyone out there would appreciate it. There really are a lot of things you can have a guy do that doesn’t expose people to your play. If you are looking for some REAL public humiliation find yourself a good space for that with like minded people – there are munches and other gatherings around all over the place and I’m positive you would find a more willing party there to get some public play out of it. Check Fetlife for events in your area!