All posts for the month July, 2015

Tonight Cagedmonkey and I have been enjoying a few drinks. Ok, well, I’ve been making him drink a lot more than me and he’s pretty drunk haha. I mean how could he turn me down when I’m making him take shots like this?
It’s really cute how he gets. He gets extremely submissive. Especially when, all night, I’ve been making him periodically drop to his knees and eat my pussy, or I’ve been climbing up on the couch rubbing my wet dripping pussy all over his face. I’ve squirted on him a few times too tonight, so he’s sitting here naked, drunk, covered in my pussy juices and locked in his cage. Even I can smell me on him, just sitting next to him.
Soon it will be time to take him to the bedroom and there we will see what other fun things we can get up to. 🙂

Right now cagedmonkey is getting his entire back tattooed and I’m sitting here watching. It’s a pretty involved tattoo but it has a lot of meaning for him in particular. It’s something he put together and he’s wanted for a long time. I’m proud of him for going through with this and getting this tattoo.
Granted this particular design has much more meaning for him personally than it does me, or anyone else for that matter, but I still love the meaning. Just like our chastity Lock and Key tattoos mean so very much to us or our matching cross tattoos. Each of those mean something to us both and to us individually.
Anyway… Not sure how much playtime there will be the next few days but I’m sure whatever there is we will certainly write about it. Last night was quite a lovely night but it deserves it’s very own post! 🙂

Cleaning up the mail box so here is a potpourri of Mail Chastity questions I’ve received. It might end up being a little bit of a longer post. Sorry for the delay in answering any of your questions!

Chris writes:

“I follow your blog some time now. I realy like it.
I plan to buy a steelworkxx looker 1. I am looking for advice on the cockring. I read that people sleep better with a normal ring than with the anatomical ring. The anatomical ring would give a burning/biting feeling. Do you have experience with both of them? What would be your advice?”

I think that the difference between an anatomical ring and a regular one is really a matter of preference. I’ve heard guys swear by its comfort, but I didn’t like it when I wore mine with the Revenge. The curvature at the bottom never seemed to find a comfortable place, and it just didn’t feel right. Now I use just the regular straight ring with the Revenge, and everything feels fine.

My best advice would be to go with what suits you best. If you’re uncomfortable with the anatomical ring, I wouldn’t try to gut it out just because other people do better with it. Try out the regular ring and see how it feels, and then go with whichever is better.

A gentleman from FetLife asks:

“Does chastity hurt as the denial sets in?”

I’m going to answer this in two parts, because it’s a more complicated question than you might realize.

Physically, chastity shouldn’t “hurt” over time as the denial continues. A proper fitting cage with proper hygiene won’t cause any skin irritations; as far as blue balls go, I would consider that more tenderness than actual pain. Yes, they are more sensitive to your normal daily jostling, but it’s not a constant source of discomfort.

Mentally, it definitely comes and goes. During long denial periods I can go from being super psyched (“I’m going to be denied orgasm for three months? That’s crazy!”) to wanting it to end (“I’m not going to have an orgasm for the rest of the summer? That’s HORRIBLE!”). It’s during these times when I’m desperate for relief that it really, truly hurts me when ML says no. After all, the feeling is real; at that moment, I really do want to be done with being denied. It can be a major downer when it seems like she isn’t acknowledging my feelings for release.

At these times, it’s important for me to remind myself that she is acknowleding these feelings… however, she also knows that I crave the feelings that come with absolute submission to her. If she gave in to my needs before she truly wanted to, yes I would get the instant gratification of orgasm, but it would be tainted by later feelings of guilt.

So yes, there is emotional pain that comes with orgasm denial and chastity… but in my opinion, it’s definintely worth suffering through for the intense sexual connection that both My Lady and I get out of it.

What type of device do you prefer?

My personal favorite is the Jailbird. I like the open-style cages the best, because it just looks better in my opinion. I have nothing against the closed-style devices, but ones like the Revenge are a little too “hardcore” for my liking. They require much more stringent upkeep and cleaning practices. Plus, I really do like the way it looks when my cock bulges against the bars of the JB, like it wants to get out so bad that’s it’s trying to break through the steel. 🙂

Can chastity completely remove a desire or ability to orgasm?

Quite the opposite, I’d say! It’s possible to lose the desire to orgasm while in chastity, but I think that would have to do with a mental/psychological issue rather than the chastity itself. Normally, the longer you are locked up and/or denied, the more intense the need for release gets.

With that said, a man’s orgasm may be weakened slightly from long term orgasm denial. The muscles that contract during orgasm may atrophy after a long time of not being used. This would pass after the muscles are re-strengthened (i.e. after you cum lots and lots). I found that you can reduce this effect by doing kegel exercises on a regular basis.

Can chastity be used to modify someone to orgasm by verbal command?

I don’t think that chastity can be used as behavior modification in that way. I’m guessing the only way to achieve that would be through some sort of hypnosis – which I don’t recommend, only because I have absolutely no experience with it, and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for fucking up some guy’s mind so they can’t ever cum again unless he hears the word “watermelon.”

Are there health risks to long term chastity?

Other than possible skin irritations from not having a proper fit, or perhaps injury from laying on the cage the wrong way or something like that, I don’t think there are serious health risks to long term chastity. There is some evidence that orgasm denial is related to a slight increase in prostate problems, but there is also contradictory evidence that says the opposite.

Does chastity affect testicle size long term?

I haven’t experienced any increase in testicle size, at least not permanent – (perhaps during a long denial they may feel or seem swollen, but it’s not a lasting effect. What I have experienced, to quite a degree, is some stretching of my scrotum. I’m naturally a “low hanger,” but after wearing a chastity device for so long – and the repeated erection attempts that often come with longer denials – my balls hang a bit lower than they used to. It’s not a major problem; it’s not like I sit on them on accident or that they drop into the toiler water when I use the bathroom or anything like that. But I guess I would consider that a “side effect” of long term chastity.

Thank you again for all of your questions. Please feel free to write and ask us anything!

ML has decided that she will be using the “no look, no touch” rules for at least the next two weeks whenever I am unlocked. This involves restraining me any time I am out of the cage so that I cannot touch myself, and blindfolding me so that I cannot see my cock. This means that by the time mid-August rolls around, it will be six long weeks since I saw my fully erect cock last. As a little extra mental dig, she has mentioned that she plans to take many pics and vids of my cock as she teases me. She may or may not let me see them, which means that readers of our blog as well as our Twitter followers may see my cock a lot more than I will get to.

This apparently won’t be the first thing our followers know more about than I do. But I’ll get to that soon enough.

ML started tonight off by having me lay on the floor, cuffing my hands above my head around the leg of the side table, and blindfolding me. She then began attending to the task of freeing my cock from its steel prison for the first time in a month. I could feel myself get hard almost instantly after I was unlocked. It felt so wonderful just to be able to get full and hard; the simple things are the most pleasant when you’ve been denied of them for so long. ML began gently cleaning my cock with a wet towel, giving me playful strokes and teases as she cleaned me. I was moaning and rolling on the floor within seconds. Her touch was absolutely incredible. Once I was well cleaned, she applied some lotion to my shaft – “to make sure the skin stays in good condition while it’s locked up,” ML explained. I didn’t give a fuck what excuse she made up, mainly because she was stroking my cock for the first time in weeks. She was edging me with almost no effort at all as I thrusted up into her hand, unable to control my body as my lust and need burned hotter by the moment.

My Lady stopped stroking me abruptly; she needed to give me enough time to get soft so she could get me locked up again. It took quite a while for my erection to subside… apparently, after nearly a month of not being able to get hard, my cock didn’t want to give up on it so quickly! Eventually, my cock softened enough to allow ML to stuff me into the cage.

I felt ML put the cage back on, fighting the rapidly swelling flesh as she got the security screw in place. She took the blindfold off of me and told me to look. I peeked down at my cock, and as sure as I expected, I was locked up again – my first of many missed chances to see myself hard.

“Well?” My Lady asked. I shrugged and was about to tell her that I wished I could have seen myself hard before getting locked up again, but she interrupted me. “Look again,” she said.

I looked down again at my caged cock, same as it was…. only this time, I saw it.
It wasn’t the Jailbird!

I should be more accurate and say “it wasn’t the Jailbird I’m used to wearing,” because it was a Jailbird, except it was different. This one had a second crossbar about midway down the shaft, and the base ring was a double instead of the usual single. My Lady surprised me with a new cage! My Lady explained that this JB was also smalled width-wise, so my cock would have even less room than I’ve been used to in the past. She also hopes that the double ring will help alleviate some of the “pulling away” issues I have when I am extremely aroused while wearing the cage.


Surprise! Although I suspect most readers/followers aren’t THAT surprised, as ML mentioned that she’s been talking about ordering this new cage on Twitter for a while now, unbeknownst to me. So, screw all of you for hiding it from me.  🙂

As far as the cage goes, comfort-wise… it’s different. It’s not bad or anything, but I can definitely sense a difference between the two models. I can feel that the cage section is narrower, and I think I can feel the double ring when I walk. It doesn’t hurt, but I’m aware of it. It’s not like the old JB, which on occasions I forgot whether or not I was wearing it (I usually was). Adjusting myself is also a slight challenge, as the new crossbar is right where I would normall grab for leverage.

With all of that said, I am the person who can’t continue walking if I have a fuzzy in my sock, so I’m pretty sure I will asjust to the new cage as time passes.

ML is extremely determined to keep me locked up for the entire month. Previous attempts at lengthy 24/7’s usually ended at about 3 weeks or so, which is where we are right now. Although she has been pushing herself lately (and denying herself, in a sense), she really wants to keep me locked up and frustrated for the entire month.

When My Lady gets very turned on, her sexual aggression reaches what would best be described as “turbo-charged” status. The control she has over me turns her on so much, which feeds her aggression, which pushes the limits of her control over me even further. This cycle continues going round and round until she reaches horny maniac critical mass. And when she can’t hold back any more, she unleashes her sexual fury on me.

Last night, ML and I were sitting watching TV, and we started getting kissy and touchy like we usually do before I have to go to work. ML eventualy made it to her favorite position, straddling my body and kneeling high over me, pushing my body down into the couch. I looked into her eyes and I could see it building in her. Her entire body shuddered and she moaned as her body pressed into mine. I groaned, loving the feeling of being compressed by her weight. Then I felt her body change, tensing up as the desire to take me overwhelmed her.

She lifted herself up and looked down at me. Before I could say anything, she reached down and grabbed my face and forced me to kiss her. It was a rough, animalistic kiss; her tongue darted deep into my mouth, attacking me from every angle. Her hands squeezed my chin and cheeks, forcing my mouth open as she shoved her tongue into my mouth. I wasn’t even kissing her back; instead, I was simply being kissed by her. I had no choice but to be taken by her lips and tongue… not that I would have resisted if I could have.

As My Lady forced her kisses on me, she began to grind her hips into my lap. Soon, I was moaning and whimpering into her mouth, wanting so badly to be free of my cage and inside her warm wet pussy. My moans turned ML on even more, and she growled as she grabbed my head and shook me against the back of the couch. She was like some sort of feral sexual monster, let loose and attacking her prey. I was helpless, and it felt so great.

Eventually, the energy was too much for My Lady to deal with, and she had to climb off of me to rest and catch her breath. I was no better off; I, too, was out of breath, as well as throbbing in my cage. We just sat and held each other for a few minutes as we recovered from the moment. I was almost totally limp, I was just “there.” It felt very sub-spacey, although I don’t think either of us were fully there. It was damn close, though.

After a few moments, we were able to talk to each other again. We shared lots of “wow”s and “oh my god”s and “what the fuck was that”s, but I let ML know that it was all a good thing. Sometimes, when ML reaches this level of aggression and lets loose on me, she gets worried afterwards that the things she did went too far. This often will lead to dom drop for her. As we talked, I made sure that ML understood that I want her to be like that. I want her to be as agressive as she wants to. I want her to act and not think. I don’t want her to be holding back in the moment, thinking if what she wants to do is right. If she wants to do it, I want her to do it…. and I mean anything. We always talk things over after an intense scene; if something that she tries doesn’t work for us, we can work it out afterwards. And, I always have my safeword as a last resort in the moment.

When My Lady lets loose her aggression on me, it is a beautiful and powerful experience. I want her to know that I want her to let the animal in her out and take me as her prey. There really is nothing else like it.

In the grand scheme of things 3 weeks doesn’t seem like much but that’s where cagedmonkey is in the 24/7 wearing of his Jail Bird. We usually get here and I’m the one dying to take him out. It seems my stamina is getting a little better, though, today in horny as hell and I really want to rip that thing off of him and ride him raw. Haha 🙂

He’s been begging an awful lot and it’s damn sexy I must say. Really wants out of that cage. In sure it doesn’t help that I’m almost constantly getting him hard whether we are together or not. If we aren’t I send him naughty pics and I just love that he’s been so incredibly drippy lately. I miss him telling me how he gushed precum on the way to work.

Anyway, I’m contemplating taking him out this weekend and giving him a bit of a surprise! Especially since he’s off work all week next week. I know we will find time to have some playtime fun!

We were recently asked a bunch of questions from a guy on Fetlife and they were such wonderful questions that I knew we had to take the time to answer them here. Since there are so many, we will be breaking them up over a couple Mail Chastity posts. We are also doing this because some are aimed at me, being the one in control and some to cagedmonkey, being the one controlled and locked in chastity.

Please feel free to ask us anything you like, we really do love interacting with our readers and answering questions. Any questions are ok from general to personal. What would you like to know?

A gentleman from Fetlife asks:

What is it like to have that control over a man?

The best way I can describe this feeling is that it feels powerful. Emotionally I feel strong, empowered, important, wanted, desired and needed. Physically I feel this tingling sensation, this warm rush comes over me and the feelings of power flow through my body. My heart beats a little faster and it’s almost like I can feel my blood pumping through my veins. Sometimes it’s even a bit overwhelming and I have to stop myself and back up for a second or two.

We’ve only been doing this, at this intensity level, for a couple years and only recently have I allowed my natural aggressiveness come out so it can still get overwhelming for me at times. But, cagedmonkey and I both say, this isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon so we have plenty of time to enjoy this I the time that is right for us.

How long did it take to train him to withhold orgasm…because you do allow him sex, right?

First of all, yes, I do allow him sex. Our “sex” happens daily but it’s not the same sex we had before chastity. It’s much more intimate and meaningful and doesn’t necessarily include intercourse. Sometimes we have intercourse. Sometimes we have intercourse, daily. It just depends on what is happening or how I’m feeling because I’m in control of our sexual pleasure.

As for training, there wasn’t much actual training other than practice. Orgasm denial was something cagedmonkey experimented with before he and I met and it’s something we’ve played with the entire 15 years we’ve been together. The past two years there has been a lot of edging and denial and I think, over time, he gets better and better at recognizing his orgasm and where the edge is and he’s learned that feeling of going too far.

I do think a man could be trained in time, with repeated edging and denial, to be able to hold off longer and longer. Denial also makes holding off that much harder. It’s a bit of a double edged sword but possible.

I hope this helped answer his questions and if any of our Dom/Domme readers would like to add their thoughts, please feel free to leave a comment!

Yesterday, cagedmonkey got out of the shower and came out into the living room in his tshirt and underwear. While I think it’s super sexy, I had to point out that he needed to be careful. He happened to be wearing a pair of white microfiber boxers and, well, they hug in just the right places!
I do love catching a glimpse of his cage like that but we also need to be careful of stuff like that so the kids don’t. It’s awesome seeing him locked up, for me.

A little while ago we took a small break from, “you’ll be locked XX long…” and “you won’t cum for XX days…” and things got very relaxed and unknown and, dare I say, UNFRUSTRATING. It was ok and it was nice not to have to plan things out for a bit but it also made me realize I actually enjoy planning things out. I enjoy knowing what I will be doing next and, even if I decide to change things along the way, having a basic plan for things makes things more comfortable for me and cagedmonkey (I think). A few weeks ago I decided that, as a couple doing the male chastity thing, we needed some good intense D/s feelings. I wanted cagedmonkey to feel a deep sense of my control. With the relaxed unknown there also seemed to be less feeling of control.

To put that sense of control back in full force, I decided to keep cagedmonkey locked 24/7 in his Jail Bird with zero release. I figured a good month would get him in the proper, super horny and submissive mindset. Well it certainly has not taken that long to get his dick to understand as he wrote. I actually love that he is back to being full time horny as fuck and dripping precum!

Not only did I feel we needed some cage time without parole but I knew with the relaxed attitude and everything else going on (ie. Job searching, moving, etc) that the dominance and intensity level were sinking. I think we’ve both felt it. I mean, we both know who’s in charge, but the servicing and pleasing me part was quickly becoming nonexistent. I know why I backed down from the domination and it’s because cagedmonkey was already stressed out enough and, I feared, pushing him might cause some pretty bitchy behavior. I don’t like bitchy behavior.

So the other day, now that hubby’s new job and our new home is settled, I felt it was time to bring back the aggressive, domination. I started using cagedmonkey for my pleasure all day long and utterly frustrating him. His cage was pushing hard away from his body and his cock struggling so hard against the confines of his Jail Bird. I restrained him to the bed and visited very often using his face, caged cock and any other part of his body to get myself off. He was left there all day covered in my cum. He ultimately broke the cuffs that day, so we will have to get another pair that are comfortable enough for him to sleep in and for long term.

It’s been fun bringing back my dominance and letting out my aggressively horny self. I love the way he looks at me when I grab him and take him and get forceful and aggressive. That “holy shit I love this” look in his eye as I do things to him and make him please me just the way I want to be pleased.

I can’t get enough and I look forward to letting more of my natural aggressiveness take over in the coming weeks. I’ve got powerful cravings for power and control and dominance. Hubby has a week off at the end of July, too and I plan to take advantage of his time off work. 🙂

It’s been over two weeks now of 24/7 lockup in the JB and I’m going through the usual “difficult feels” that hit me around this time. Not only does it get rough on me mentally at this point, but it’s no picnic physically either! My Lady has taken the opportunity of having my cock caged to tickle and tease it through the bars from time to time, and I can definitely feel the sensitivity to touch increasing. Sometimes, all it takes is a brush of her fingers before I feel myself start to swell inside the cage. And once that process statrs, it’s almost impossible to stop it.

This past weekend, I had a very painful bout of “morning wood,” as it were. ML and I were snuggling throughout the night, and I woke up extremely aroused. I’ve been getting this for the past week or so, so I wasn’t surpised by it happening. I was surprised by how much it hurt this time around. Over the past couple of years of living the chastity lifestyle, it was never this bad. It felt like the cage was crushing my cock, as well as tugging hard on my sack. It was rough, to put it lightly.

I did my best to relax myself by taking deep breaths, and I tried to help with my circulation by squeezing the muscles in my legs to increase the blood flow to those areas… yes, I’m a big nerd for knowing these types of things work; yes, they usually do work pretty well. But this night, my stubborn cock was having none of it. It was almost as if I was stuck in a self-perpetuating circle: the tightness of the cage around my cock was giving me the sensation of being squeezed, which of course is usually a good thing when taking into account how tight my wife’s pussy gets when she’s horny and wants to be fucked. This squeezing sensation gets my cock throbbing and swelling even more, pressing harder against the cage. This makes the cage feel even tighter, which starts the cycle all over again.

Basically, once it gets to this point, I’m fucked unless I can somehow break the cycle.

I ended up laying in bed, curled in a pained half-ball, surfing the internet on my phone because I had nothing else to distract me. After about ten minutes of reading boring news stories and sports updates, I finally felt the death grip of the cage on my cock begin to loosen just the slightest bit; it was another fifteen minutes until I was finally comfortable enough to try sleeping again. I turned my phone off, rolled over, and tried to get back to sleep. It was much easier without the crushing pressure on my poor locked up cock, however now I had to deal with the issue of my cock gushing precum all over the bedsheets. Although, after being denied for months on end in the past, this is a situation that I’ve become very familiar with.

It’s funny to think about how much my life has changed with chastity, considering now that sleeping in a bed soaked with precum is the least of my problems.