I just wrote about the type of dominant I am. I know I’m pretty good at what I do but, I’m human and I’m not perfect. I try my best to keep all of the boys happy, teased, horny and frustrated as well as focused on goals, overcoming life’s obstacles and bettering themselves. 🙂 I love when they take the opportunity to let me know in words or even gifts that they appreciate me and love what I do for them.
I just took this quiz called “What type of Mistress are you?” First of all I’m not a mistress at all. I am also not a Goddess, Princess or whatever other titles people may go by. I’m a dominant woman and I think there is a difference there. Before I go on with my post here are my results:
Congratulations, you are a very Sensual & Sexual Mistress.
You will use your submissive for your own enjoyment. If your submissive enjoys himself, that is OK, but you will use his body for your own pleasure. You pleasure comes first. You are not out to cause undue pain in your submissive but you realize that some is required for him to stay in line.
You enjoy being in control and you enjoy the pleasure you can take from your submissive. His body is for your use first and foremost.You have a healthy attituded toward sex. You enjoy men, but when you are in control, you will enjoy yourself first and then let him enjoy himself. You would not be a Mistress if your submissive did not also enjoy it. You are a Mistress because both of you enjoy the feelings of letting go and exploring each other.
So, let me start off by telling you I changed the wording in there to read “submissive” because I, in no way, have a slave for a subby hubby, which it suggested. With that said, most of that is pretty accurate about yours truly. I very much use my hubby to satisfy me first and then maybe, just maybe, he gets some, though that’s few and far between these days. I would say I actually do enjoy inflicting some pain because of the reaction it causes. I would also strongly argue that I would, in fact, be a “mistress” or Dominant woman because that’s just who I am. I may not be to the extent that I am if he didn’t enjoy it but that’s why we’re together. We are each other’s perfect compliment.
If you read the earlier posts here you’ll know that way back 15 years ago we had a Tease & Denial Yahoo group. Our little group had over 600 members and each and every one of them called me Ms. Aggressive. Even back then I knew I was not a mistress. Looking back I realize, 15yrs so, I was a very involved and very attentive Dom. We had chats, emails, tasks, pics, video and even audio. Not nearly as easy as we do now with smartphones and cameras at the touch of a finger, but we had it. I will say, I was much younger and inexperienced and didn’t have loads of information available in an instant like we do now. Being so young and naive cagedmonkey and I didn’t have a sense of priority or realize a contract between us may have been a good thing. As I mentioned I was very attentive and involved which meant a lot of time was consumed teasing other men and denying them when in reality the focus should have been on my monkey boy. Eventually we’d gotten married, moved, started fertility treatments to have kids and away went the Yahoo group.
What is my point in all that? I guess my point is that I’ve always been a very involved, attentive and playful Dom. I’m still that way now with my hubby and any other subby boys I may take on. I get to know them deep down, I create personalized goals and tasks for them, I keep track of them individually and build a meaningful relationship with them. It is not the same relationship I have with my husband but it definitely has depth and meaning, support and caring, rewards and punishments similar to my marriage. I do genuinely begin to care for them and what goes on in their lives.
There are some Doms or mistresses that require money for such services – probably a lot for something similar to the attention I give – but that isn’t what I do. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it, by any means, it’s just not what I do. I like to be the dominant, attentive, involved, cocktease that I am for them. If I receive something for it, gift cards or homemade gifts or anything, I want it to be because I’m awesome at what I do. I want it to be because they appreciate me and not because I require it. I want them to want to show me they care about me, appreciate me and are devoted to me. It pleases me ever so much.
I think it’s important that a submissive know what they need as a submissive. It’s important that a Dom know what they need. I always say how communication it’s important because, IT IS! If you are looking for a generic D/s or M/s relationship where you get the same tasks and goals as any other person who buys them, awesome, that’s easy. If you are looking for an actual relationship, you can’t just sign into Fetlife and meet someone who calls themselves a mistress and expect them to know how to handle you.
The few boys I currently dominate, besides my number one subby hubby, I’ve gotten to know. A couple are in chastity and I hold their keys, those boys are also long distance subs so our interaction is limited to online, email, text messages, etc. All of my boys are required to follow my rules, complete my tasks and accept and complete my punishments. I get to know my boys and I take the time to make their experience very personal. I give them time with me, I support them and encourage them to become better men for their wives or partners or future ones. I strive to keep them healthy and functioning at their best in all they do. I will say that I have some very good subs and, most of the time, they keep me very pleased. I do hope that I do the same for them. I’m actually, publicly going to require that my boys take a minute to reply to this post and write a “review” or testimonial of sorts. I want you boys to really think about what it is I do for you and how it makes you feel. If you’d rather do it anonymously let me know and I’ll post it.
I do have a certain someone who’s a different case, not in chastity and who is local. That’s an entirely different dynamic altogether. Hubby and I pretty much Dom him together, though I am dominant to them all. I love it, it boosts my self esteem knowing how I help them, support them and give them that piece in their lives they may feel is missing.
Anyway, I’m glad I’m the Domme that I am, I’m blessed with a hubby who understands and supports me having these boys. It’s work, but I always prioritize my family and my number one locked up subby boy but I love every minute of it. Thank you to hubby and all my boys for fulfilling me and keeping me pleased like the good boys you are.
Oh my goodness, my girl knows me so well! Thank you “Queen Victoria,” as I like to call her, for the very special gift.
My sweet girl sent me this awesome little bell as a Christmas gift. She really does know that something so cute and little would tickle me. I just love it and I could totally see a dominant woman using something like this to train a guy with different sounds. One sound to get her something, one sound to come eat her pussy and yet another to fuck her. It really could be a lot of fun.
Anyway, thank you my sweet dear, I love this precious and thoughtful little gift very much!
I feel so very rushed this morning. I hate that, because normally I’m the completely prepared one with the lists and schedules and order in all I do. Not today though, I forgot to set the alarm, so instead I was woken up by a six year old handsome face asking if it was ok for him to wake up now. I looked at the clock and leapt out of bed because it was already time for him to be getting on the bus. Crap! Late for the bus means shoving something to eat in his face while throwing together a completely unhealthy lunch, sticking my naked feet in my boots with my pajamas on and driving him to school so he’s there on time.
Thank God I wasn’t naked describes it well, because flying out of bed like a crazy woman boobs flying would not have been a good thing haha. Usually when hubby is home for the night and sleeping in the same bed I’m so eager to sleep naked with him. I love feeling his skin against mine, it’s so sensual and feels so perfect against mine. It’s one of the most comforting places in the world.
If you read my last post you can tell that obviously life got in the way, which tends to happen more often than not, and things didn’t go as I’d hoped. It’s ok, I’m not devastated because I was needed. My sweet little guy was up hacking a lung almost all night so I was in and out of his room trying to help him. His stupid coughing made him throw up and really it was just a big fat turn off. So, as Tom Allen says to me often, kids are the ultimate arousal destroyer. I love my kids to the ends of the earth, I would die for them and I don’t blame them or get angry when my dreams for a hot sexy night don’t go as I hope.
I know we will have other nights, so many nights. We are not in a rush and not heading for a finish line. We enjoy this everyday, all day and will continue to for as long as we like. I hope that’s a long time because I do love it so very much. I love having my hubby locked up in his steel cage, horny and aching for me in every way. Is there really anything better than being completely and utterly desired, ladies?
At the moment I have cagedmonkey in the bedroom restrained to the bed. There are so many things I want to use him for and do to him. He’s unlocked and plugged and can do nothing about me coming in the room and teasing, tormenting, using and abusing him. Before I restrained him to the bed he had specific instructions to take a shower and prepare my big sexy cock for me. He was to get it all shaved nice as well as send me some pics that I asked for. He was told to edge himself in particular ways and take pictures of it for me. Such a good boy doing all those things I demanded of him.
Once he was finished showering he was told to go to the bedroom – he knows anytime he is in there he is to be naked – he forgot! Not really forgot but he needed clothes because of the kids and just didn’t think to take them off to nap but that’s not obeying the rules so my big sexy boy has a punishment in his future. I can’t wait to get my paddle on his beautiful ass. Speaking of his ass, I was sure to whisper in his ear about all the wonderful things I want to do to his ass later tonight while I have him cuffed to the bed. How I want to force him to gag on my strap on while he wets it down for me to fuck him with. I really can’t wait to see him face down, helpless and vulnerable on the bed, waiting and wondering how I’m going to treat him.
It’s no surprise, really, because I’ve already told him how I want him tied down tight to use as a fuck hole. To treat his ass like a slutty little whore. To use and abused him till he hurts to walk. I want to fuck him good and hard and for a long time. I want to hear him crying and begging me to stop.
If you couldn’t tell, I’ve very horny so I need to cum. I need to cum so bad and even though I’m on my period at the moment I still get to use my wand and cum anytime I like. So I went in the bedroom, locked the door and was using my wand against my pad and fuck did it feel good… then I felt a little pinch… but oh God it felt so fucking good and I came so hard. I wanted to cum again and even thought about it but the pinching… what the fuck was pinching me? Ugghhhhhhh my Pussy wanted another orgasm, but ouch, what the fuck!? I had to turn off the wand and adjust things down yonder and found that my pad had flipped at the top and the sticky was sticking to my freaking sensitive girlie parts! Ouchie! Haha
That certainly didn’t put a dent in my horny, in fact it might have made it worse! Hubby is home all night and I plan to get out all of this sexual aggression by using his body for what I want, how I want it. Fuck I’m horny!
Last night, My Lady and I were spending some time together on the couch before I had to leave for work. I was laying down and ML was laying on top of me. It was insanely comfortable; so comfortable, in fact, that I had to set the alarm on my phone just in case we fell asleep. And we did just that, snoozing for about an hour or so. I set the alarm early enough so I wouldn’t need to scramble to get ready for work. It turned out that I would need to anyway, only because ML found another use for that extra time.
After I got dressed, ML motioned for me to kneel in front of her on the couch. I knelt before her and she began touching my body, running her hands underneath my shirt and caressing my chest. Her fingertips found my nipples and began teasing them with her delicate touch. I couldn’t hold back the sounds of pleasure, and I moaned into ML’s mouth as she leaned down to kiss me. This very often fuels ML’s dominance over me, and this time was no different.
My Lady pushed me down onto the floor, straddled my body, and virtually attacked me in all ways sexually. She kissed my roughly, sucking my tongue deep into her mouth until I could feel the slightly painful tug on my stretched out tongue. She shoved hers deep into my mouth until I nearly gagged. She bit my lip gently, drawing startled yelps from me and driving her further into her sexual frenzy. She was unstoppable, and I didn’t want her to stop!
It felt incredible. I experienced so many conflicting feelings – I was excited that ML was so damn turned on. I was surprised each time she turned up the intensity, and a little shocked each time she caused me a little bit of pain. And I was also somewhat scared of what she would do to me next.
But most of all, I felt like I was being used. My Lady has this sexual energy that she needed to release, and I was her target. It wasn’t about pleasing me, teasing me, or even causing me pain or pleasure. It was about her getting what she needed, and using me to get it. Without even noticing it, I started moaning, “Oh God yes, please use me!” It felt so good to be her sexual plaything and nothing else in that moment.
After ML released the energy she needed to and began to come down from her sexual high, she turned to “cuddle mode” and held me tight against her body. I could feel the change in her body as she transitioned to aftercare. What wasn’t so clear was who needed the aftercare – although she was holding me and telling me she was there for me, I could sense that ML was a little intimidated by her behavior. I made sure to tell her that I was okay, and that it was an amazing experience. I wanted her to know that she did nothing wrong by using me like that. I didn’t want the feelings of guilt that bring on her domme drop to creep in.
And it seemed to work. 🙂 ML was able to avoid the domme drop that sometimes follows an intense scene like that, and her excitement has only grown since then. She told me this morning that hearing me almost beg for her to use me drove her crazy and made her want to use me more.
I can sense her confidence and power growing, even as I sit next to her on the couch. I feel it radiating from her. She has me home all night long tonight, and I can’t even imagine where her newfound intensity will take us.
If any of my friends from high school were to read this post they’d be shaking their heads in total agreement. When I was younger I always joked about how I was a gay guy in a chicks body. To be honest, I wasn’t joking, it’s how I felt then and how I’m finally feeling again. I’m finding this part of me again as cagedmonkey and I explore our desires. In recent years, I’ve spent a long time suppressing the “gay guy” and being the woman in me, the mom, the wife, the proper lady everyone told me I was supposed to be. I might say, for a bit there, I kinda became a prude. A married woman with kids certainly couldn’t be aggressive, kinky, into bdsm and have a filthy trucker mouth when it came to sex, right? Wrong! I am who I am and I need to be who I am. I’m much happier and hornier.
Don’t think for a second I meant for this post to get all mushy, I certainly didn’t but I had to get that out. I hope it makes the next part sexy and much more meaningful. Those of you following on Twitter know I’ve had some very aggressively dominant days the past few days. I’ve unlocked and pretty much attacked hubby sexually and last night was no different. I’ve been very focused on his nipples, pinching, pulling, twisting and biting them. Not to mention the rest of his sexy body, I love touching him, feeling his skin under my fingertips, smelling him, tasting him.
Last night, after the kids went to bed, cagedmonkey walked back into the living room. I was sitting on the couch with my legs spread enough to give him room. I motioned to him to come over and kneel between my legs. While he knelt there in front of me I unbuttoned his shorts, slid down his boxers to expose my beautiful little man encased in that sexy steel cage. I loosened the screw and removed the cage while hubby knelt, hands clasped behind his back like the good boy he is. Once I removed his cage, his cock was responding within seconds. I slid my hands up under his shirt to trace my fingers over his lock tattoo, up over his stomach and to his nipples. I lifted his shirt off exposing the rest of his body to me. Preparing it for my touch, to be my plaything, my toy to use and use well, however I wanted. I sat back to look at my property while I slowly removed my shirt. As I did I could see hubby eyes widen seeing my big beasts right in front of him. I bet his mouth was watering.
I reached down, wrapped my hand around and stroked his cock, looking him deep in the eyes, until he was fully erect and rock hard. I pushed his chin back to expose his neck, I kissed, licked and sucked on his neck while continuing to stroke him. He moaned, oh God did he moan. Fuck it sounds so good when he does, it makes my chest flutter and I practically lose my breath. The more he moaned the more turned on I got, the more turned on I got the faster I stroked and the rougher and deeper I kissed him. I pushed him back so he was sitting on his feet, I slid off the front of the couch to straddle his lap. I could feel the extreme wetness between my legs as I was making him do exactly what I wanted. Still stroking his cock I scooped up my beasts one at a time with my other hand. I took one finger from the same hand, put it under his chin to pull him in and said “suck those titties like my good boy.”
I started to forcefully kiss him again, deep and hard, pinching his nipples, so hard in fact that I pushed him back onto the carpet. I ended up between his bent legs and my beasts resting on either side of his cock. Just then I reached up to pinch his nipples again, as I did it squished my large breasts around his cock and I moved myself up and down slightly along his body to tittie fuck him while playing with his nipples. Fuck the moans got louder, the whimpers started too. Oh it was fueling my aggressive fire.
Being there between his legs like that, in the way a guy is normally with a woman, I felt this urge. I felt like I wanted to be above him, taking him, hard. I know I love to feel like I do in that position. I love to feel that “in charge” feeling a guy must have in that position. Don’t get me wrong, I love my big tits and getting my pussy serviced so I don’t want to be a guy, I just want and need that big powerful feeling. I got so turned on, his big hard cock laying there in front of me, I just grabbed him and sucked his cock hard into my mouth. Kneeling between his legs as he lay there on on his back with his hands under him, unable to move, I felt so powerful. I felt like I could have him and do anything I wanted to him. I practically went crazy sucking his cock so hard and fast, licking his entire shaft, his balls, sliding up licking his stomach, neck and face. Having almost no regard for him just using his body how I wanted, how I needed to.
At one point, as I was sucking his cock between his legs and they were getting in my way… I grabbed his kneess and pushed his legs up over my shoulders, his calves laying down my back. I grabbed around the outside of his thighs and put my hands on the front of his hips and just pulled him to me. My big tits still alongside his cock I tucked my chin and took his entire length in my mouth. I pulled his hips toward me and sucked his cock deep, hard and fast. I could take him so far in my throat so easily in that position and I have no idea why. There he was unable to do much of anything but accept the aggressive rough sexual acts he was experiencing. I loved that I was in total control of his body in that position. Fuck, it was so damn hot and I was turning myself on so much during it that I almost forgot to deny him. Oh my god the noises coming out of my man were ridiculously sexy. His moans and whimpers and squeals just increase my desire to have him and take him.
The part that got me was that I realized I needed to stop because he was begging me to be careful in his moans. I was so into sucking his cock in that position I had to stop abruptly so I didn’t push him over the edge. I just stopped, stood up between his legs, said “fuck, that was awesome,” wiped my hand across my mouth and reached out my hand to help him up. That was it, it just ended like that, I truly felt like I had just used him for my pleasure and was done, thank you very much, have a nice day! 🙂
I think it’s so damn hot that My Lady can squirt. It is such an extreme, visual expression of ML’s reaction to my touch. Also, her orgasms that follow it are usually very strong, and she gets very vocal when she cums. The smell of her juices is amazing and turns me on like nothing else.
During the past week, My Lady has had a strong craving to have my cock as often as she can. This works well for me, because after having my cock locked up for almost 3 weeks, I am definitely in the mood to give it to her in as many was as possible. One thing that surprises me is that I am able to actually perform for a decent amount of time before I get close to cumming. It’s not a crazy long amount of time, but I manage to please My Lady while denying myself at the same time (brag). I’ve gotten better at recognizing the feelings that come with the approach of my orgasm, and I’m learning to manage those sensations to keep myself from going too far. However, sometimes I still need to perform “emergency exit procedures” (a.k.a. pulling my cock out of her pussy as fast as possible).
The most frustrating thing about the deliberate pace I must use is that I always sometimes want to pound her pussy hard and fast. In my state, I can’t do that for more than a few seconds before I’m in big trouble. So I take what I can get and fuck ML as hard as I can for 2-3 seconds at a time. Can ya blame me? 🙂
The other night, ML unlocked me and both of us were pretty needy for some hot sex. I startes off by licking her pussy as she lounged on the couch, legs spread wide open so my tongue could reach her warm wetness. I took my time, kissing and licking her pussy lips all over as well as pushing my tongue inside her. She moaned as she petted the back of my head, complimenting my tongue techniques as she enjoyed the feelings. A few moments later, she instructed me to use my fingers on her. I slid two fingers inside her, fucking her pussy with them as I sucked her cilt softly into my mouth and swirled my tongue over and around the sensitve flesh. It wasn’t long before I felt her pussy squeeze my fingers as her orgasm hit her.
My fingers were only an appetizer for her, apparently. ML pulled me up to her, nearly sliding my cock into her slippery wet pussy in the process. After just a bit of aiming, my cock was inside her pussy. God, it felt soooooooo fucking good. It always does! I couldn’t hold back and I wanted to fuck her hard so I started my off-and-on pounding; ML gasped in surprised pleasure, only to let out a disappointed groan when I had to stop.
“More,” she told me. “Fuck me hard more, pound my pussy!”
Since I am not one to disobey, I started fucking her hard again. Then I quickly realized a prolem – I didn’t give myself enough “down time” between hard thrusts. That, combined with the hot sexy noises that ML was making, started getting me excited very fast. I was very close to cumming a lot quicker than I expected At just about the last moment, I pulled my cock out of ML’s pussy and practically jumped off the couch…
… just in time to get a good view of My Lady’s pussy gushing onto our brand new couch! (It was going to happen eventually, hehe)
There was a pretty good amount of squirt, and neither ML nor I were trying to make it happen. We both had the exactl same reaction: “We gotta try that again!”
After flipping the cushion, grabbing a towel, and moving to the floor – we are trying to put off soaking all of our furniture with our sex juices for as long as possible – we were at it once again. I fucked her pussy nice and deep for a few thrusts then quickly pulled out again, and ML drenched the towel with her squirting pussy!
I helped ML to her feet, and I immediately had another idea… I turned ML around and slid my cock into her pussy from behind in a standing semi-doggy position. A couple of quick hard thrusts had ML squealing in pleasure, until I abruptly pulled out once again; my cock was followed by a river of pussy juice running down her legs. God damn, I love making her squirt. I did it another two times, each time more pussy juice was just pouring out of her. Of course, i was a good sub and I cleaned up the mess I made, licking the juices off of her legs from heel to pussy, covering my face with her musky scent.
ML and I talked afterwards, and I confessed to her that I find it really sexy that she can squirt and that I’d like to see her do it more often. Some of my bondage/domination fantasies would be absolutely fucking killer hot if she were to squirt all over my body with her pussy while she cums over and over. She seemed to like that idea, as well.
We recently received the following comment on one of ML’s posts, specifically her post on breath control. Here is the comment from Dedicatedtoher:
Please explain to me how you can get sexual pleasure from hurting someone you love/ Where is the pleasure , the joy in hurting him? Even if he is a masochist, you have the ability to step back and say: “This I cannot do. I get no pleasure from hurting you” Your sexual thrill from inflicting pain on your husband is something I find difficult to understand. I am happy sadism does not work for my wife and I
Both of us have things we would like to say in response to this. So here is your “He Said, She Said” installment of “Mail Chastity” (or vice versa, whichever tickles your fancy).
Lady M: Thank you so much for your comment and question. I would like to first point out that I do NOT like to hurt my husband nor do I get pleasure from it. I do love his reaction to some slight pain like pinching nipples, nails on his back or balls or even a spanking. I do believe those are all pretty common ways people create a pain sensation to get a reaction from their partner. As I said, I do not enjoy actually hurting him whatsoever. Since it is the Breath Play post in particular that you are referring to, I want to say that at no time during our play like this do I hurt or intentionally cause him pain. If that were to happen, with a misplaced thumb or something, I stop immediately and adjust. I’m actually terrified of accidentally hurting him and often cut play short sometimes. Breath play is not about pain and has everything to do with the control of his consciousness. That I do love, I love the control I have over him. I love seeing his glossed over eyes as he is slipping off into his dreamy state. That does give me a sexual charge and my crotch is instantly sopping wet and drippy. It really is not painful to experience this but rather relaxing and calm I would imagine.
I hope this helps explain it a bit and as I always say, not everyone will ever enjoy the same things when it comes to most things in life. Although… maybe bacon… everyone, except Cagemonkey, likes bacon! 🙂
Cagedmonkey: First, let me say thank you for the comment. It’s a great question, but I’d like to thank you for being so respectful. Although you may not understand or agree with the things we do, I appreciate your mature attitude towards addressing it. 🙂
I’ll start by saying that there is a big difference between “pain” and “hurt.” When ML pinches my nipples just a teeny bit too hard, that’s pain. When she leans the wrong way and kneels on my ankle or whatever, that hurts. I don’t get any sexual thrill from being hurt. Pain, yes, I find exciting. But there have been instances in the past where ML has accidentally hurt me, and we’ve stopped immediately and addressed the situation (and most likely laughed it off afterwards).
The pain itself isn’t a turn on. What turns me on is the control that is involved. ML can make me feel whatever she wants me to feel; whether that be pleasure, pain, or anywhere in the middle. I love that she can cause these sensations, and I love that I cannot fight them.
With all of that said, the asphyxiation/choking/breath play isn’t as painful as you may think it is. Again, it’s about control: My Lady controls my air supply, and along with that my ability to stay conscious. It’s actually somewhat peaceful, slipping away slowly like that. The worst thing I’d say I experience is fear as I get closer to blacking out, but I trust ML absolutely and completely.
I hope this helps shed some light on why we find this type of play erotic and exciting. It’s definitely not for everyone, but no kink really is. What works for us may not work for you. But what’s important is that it works for us. 🙂