So, um, yeah… not really sure how to approach this subject on a sex/chastity/orgasm denial blog, but I promised to be real and talk about everything, so….

I found out today that I’m sick. Not just “cough and cold” sick; I’m talking about “there’s a not-so-small chance I may end up needing an organ transplant” sick.

Yeah, no, seriously.

Now, don’t go freaking out – I did enough of that this afternoon for all of us put together. I haven’t even talked to my doctor yet, although I know enough about lab tests to understand the situation I’m in. It’s not really worth going into the details, except to say that:

  1. It’s serious.
  2. It needs to be addressed right away.
  3. I’m not dead yet. 🙂

That’s the thing… I’m not “symptomatic” sick, which is a blessing. I have a chance to handle this and, while not getting myself back to perfect health, keep myself at the decent level of health I’m currently at. Although, not being symptomatic keeps my horniness from not cumming for three months from going away… which is another blessing, I guess.

So, seriously… relax. I’m not going anywhere just yet. I’m still the horny, desperate, orgasm denied monkey I’ve been for the last few years. And My Lady and I are going to do everything we can to keep it that way.

For those who follow us on Twitter, you may have seen ML’s excitement over the arrival of the Revenge’s new lockset in the mail. Her excitement is pretty well justified – it’s been almost two years since I’ve worn the closed-style chastity cage. Although it doesn’t really matter how My Lady keeps me in chastity, it is always nice to have options. Also, it really is a beautiful device, very sexy and stylish.

ML didn’t waste time with getting my cock back in the Revenge – I’ll be wearing it for most (if not all) of the weekend. ML thought it would be best to have me wear it at home, just in case I needed to get used to it again. It’s not much of a different feeling compared to the Jailbird – both are stainless steel cages locked around my cock and balls, after all – but it is a different device than I’m used to wearing lately. Better to get acclimated while I’m at home than at work.

I said it’s not much different, but it is a different feeling: while my cock tends to bulge around the bars of the Jailbird when I get hard in the cage, the Revenge compresses me all around and gives no ground. It’s just a little bit more claustrophobic, a little bit more compete constriction.

I asked ML today if she feels any different about having me in the Revenge as opposed to the Jailbird, whether she likes me bulging out of the cage or being squeezed by the steel. She said that it is different: the Jailbird is more of a tease, letting me feel what I can’t have; the Revenge is about frustration, isolating me from what I truly need. She did say that she doesn’t really prefer one over the other, thoughl both give her control over my cock, just in different ways.

This weekend should be a very frustrating reintroduction to the Revenge. ML is excited to see and hear what it feels like when I get one of my strong “rooty” erections in the Revenge, and she is also interested in exploring her new love of caged sex with the smooth steel inside her pussy.

I get asked this a lot: what does it feel like to wear a chastity device? Does it always feel weird? Does it ever get comfortable? How is it possible to live a normal life when your cock and balls are locked into a steel cage?

Well, it’s sort of like any other new thing: it takes some getting used to, but it becomes normal after a while. It’s almost like a piece of jewelry that you need to get used to wearing… except that it’s padlocked to your junk.

I remember when ML and I first got married, I was very much aware of my wedding ring when I was wearing it. I’d play with it, fiddle with it, and I could feel it between my fingers. I wasn’t used to it, so it felt really weird. But now, after more than 13 years of marriage, wearing it is more normal to me than not wearing it is.

Obviously, I haven’t been wearing the chastity cage for 13 years (although, sometimes, it seems like it’s that long between erections!). But I have been wearing it for a decent amount of time – it’s getting close to 4 years of being in chastity, going to work wearing my device, sleeping with it on, etc. It’s part of my normal routine now.

In fact, it feels different now when I’m not wearing it rather than when I am. Now, I’m surprised when I reach down to adjust myself and I don’t feel the hard steel of the Jailbird. I’m reflexively careful when I wrestle or snuggle with the kids, automatically trying to avoid an awkward explanation. Sometimes I even surprise myself when I go to use the bathroom and I find myself uncaged, completely forgetting that My Lady had unlocked me earlier that day. I’m just so used to being in chastity for ML, I hardly ever give it a second thought.

That’s not to say that wearing the chastity cage is always as comfortable as can be. There are times when I get so hard and full in the cage that it’s almost painful. Sometimes I get woken up in the middle of the night by my cock fighting a losing battle against the steel bars locked around it, and the only way I can get back to sleep is by reading or playing games on my phone until my cock calms down.


See how badly I’m bulging against the bars in that pic… doesn’t look all that comfortable, does it? Honestly, it’s not… but it really is worth it. It’s worth the time getting used to it in order to wear the cage for My Lady, to be able to be locked and kept for her. It doesn’t start out natural, but it becomes natural.

I was asked this really great question recently so I thought I would take a minute to write here about it. I’m sure some of our readers who are in control would appreciate it. Then again, some of you in the submissive role may like to know this stuff too. 

“…doesn’t it make you feel bad sometimes when you deny your hubby for so so long? Do you ever feel guilty?”

There actually was a time, when we first started this whole chastity and longer term denial thing, that I would describe my feelings as guilt. Now that we are almost 4 years into this there are zero feelings of guilt. There doesn’t need to be any. 4 years ago my hubby asked me to take control of his sexual pleasure. He wanted me to be the one to decide if, when and how he would orgasm. I gladly accepted that role and took control over that pleasure for him. So why would I feel guilty about giving him something he wanted in the first place? That’s something us dominant types can forget sometimes… but when someone completely offers themselves to us we need to not feel guilty about accepting the responsibility.

Cagedmonkey naturally craves and needs to be controlled and I naturally crave and need to be in control. It makes us both feel fulfilled and content in our relationship and in our life. It fits us so well to accept these roles. 

So, in short, no I don’t feel bad or guilty about denying him orgasm or even keeping him locked in that steel cage and even controlling him to the point of when he gets a full erection. I love knowing that he is THAT controlled, down to something even HE can’t control! I love knowing he has a pretty constant reminder of me and the fact that I control him and he sexual organs and pleasure. It’s mine to enjoy, he gave me that. He offered me that gift and it’s one of the best things and shows such deep love and respect and, more importantly, trust. It makes me feel great, not guilty! 

A lot of readers/followers ask me how I manage not to cum immediately during sex when I’m being denied orgasm. It’s not that easy, and to be perfectly honest, I’m really not good at it at all. I’m not sure if it’s the denial that makes me more sensitive and ready, or if it’s just the fact that ML’s pussy feels that amazingly good; either way, I can’t manage more than five or six good thrusts before I need to stop.

It’s too bad it’s not as simple as looping a gif!

There are a couple of positions where I can kinda avoid cumming right away, but other than that, it happens VERY quickly. I’m really lucky that ML isn’t disappointed by my performance… in fact, she takes it as a compliment. As she should: either she’s doing a great job teasing me, or her pussy is doing a great job getting me off!

Sometimes, though, I wish that I could flick a switch and not be so “hair-triggered.” There are times where I know ML wants a good pounding, and I feel bad when I’m not able to provide. The other night, ML got me dunk enough where I couldn’t cum and she took advantage of it by using my cock hard… the only problem being that I can’t remember it! Although I’m glad she got her “fill” of my non-cumming cock, I wish I could remember what it was like.

I know we haven’t posted in a bit and we’ve been a little quiet on Twitter the last couple days, but it’s ok! We are alive and well and enjoying a nice vacation back home in New York! We decided to take a few days to head back to see family since it’s been about a year and a half since we’ve been to the city to see anyone.

I appreciate the text messages, DM’s and emails asking if we are ok! It is so wonderful to be cared about by so many! It’s crazy that pretty much 99% of you we do not really know, especially in real life but you still care when we seemingly aren’t around for a few days! I promise you we are good! We stopped and spent a couple days with some kinky friends (in a vanilla way, due to the kids) and then headed off to NY. We will be here for a couple days and then head back to our kinky friends house for a few days again before heading home next weekend. Once we get back things will be crazy and lots of changes happening but all good changes!

I did realize after we left that I forgot the Mic to do a podcast with our kinky friends but it’s all good, maybe next time… They will be out to see us in May, I believe. 🙂 

Feel free to messages or write us anytime, we do loving hearing from you all! 

When I’m being denied orgasm by My Lady, it isn’t hard for her to find ways to frustrate me. Having my cock locked in my steel Jailbird is an obvious place to start, and bringing me as close to orgasm as possible without giving me one is also extremely effective. I’ve been finding, though, that being edged is sort of a mini-tension release in itself – not as good as an orgasm, of course, but my body does “enjoy” it.

After being denied so often and edged as much as I have been, maybe I’ve found some sort of comfort in it. But ML always finds ways to keep my sexual tension level high. Nowadays, stopping short of edging seems to be even more frustrating than edges themselves.

I had the day off from work yesterday, and ML took advantage of the kid-less household to drive me a little crazy. She spent most of the morning keeping my dick hard, not allowing it to get soft for more than a few minutes at a time. Even when she had to run out for an errand, she left me with instructions to keep myself hard while she was gone. She didn’t edge me once the entire morning, and it wasn’t long before I was going crazy. My cock was an aching, dripping mess in my underwear, and My Lady enjoyed watching me suffer through every minute of it.

After a rough week at work, I was very much looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend. Will I have the relaxation I was hoping for? Or will ML see exactly how effective this new form of frustration can be?

Ugh… NO!!!

I recently got, yet another, email about locking up a guy. I get them pretty often but just about every time I get one, I need to respond with something along the lines of you can’t just lock up a guys cock and throw away the key. I do want to mention, I know there could be a guy or two out there that does actually want to be locked up, have the key thrown away and their dick completely unused and forgotten about. As a matter of fact, I have such a boy, who’s key I hold, that enjoys the fact that there is nothing he can do or say to get his key back or get his cock unlocked… ever. There is really no use for his puny little cock. That is something that is few and far between and even in his circumstance, I STILL keep him mentally teased and reminded of his predicament every so often.

Male chastity with a spouse or partner, however, is usually not about not having sex or not having to “deal” with your guy once he’s locked up. If anything, it might be more work when you’ve got someone under lock and key. I’ve written about this plenty of times and I’ve even done a podcast on it. When you get a guy to give up control of his most intimate parts, he’s also giving you an incredible amount of trust. He’s trusting that you won’t lock up his dick and forget about it. He needs to know that you enjoy having him locked up as much as he enjoys being locked up for you. He may have a constant physical reminder of who owns his cock but there definitely needs to be some consistent mental reminders. Especially those amazing mindfucks that cause him to press and struggle against the cage, aching to be released. 

I really can’t stress enough about how important it is to give attention to the one you control. Your words, alone, can have a huge impact on how their time in chastity will be. When I say you need to give attention, I’m not necessarily talking about constant physical attention. I do think there needs to be some of that as well but, more than that, the mental side of things will certainly keep your guy from getting lonely. One of the most important things to remember, when locking up a guy, is that it’s going to be work. You do not want them getting lonely and feeling sexually forgotten about. I’m pretty sure I even have a blog post here with lots of ideas of how to keep your guy mentally mindfucked and well teased while locked up. Look around a bit.

ML’s last post was about the search for balance. Recently, I’ve been wanting to search for something else: intensity.

Don’t get me wrong at all – our sex life is pretty damn intense as it is. In fact, ML and I often joke about how, when other guys say that they wish they could be as lucky as I am, that they might have second thoughts once they realize just how passionate My Lady is when it comes to dominating me. Sometimes it’s a miracle that I can handle it!

So, there’s no shortage of awesome sex in our household. But there are certain things that I miss, particularly about when we first started our “rekindling.” Some examples:

– squirting: ML’s ability to squirt is still pretty impressive, but there were times where ML’s pussy would squirt like a fountain and soak the seat of my car on our date nights.

– ML’s spontaneous orgasms: I remember making eye contact with ML from across the room and watching her as she made herself cum without touching her pussy or anything, just using her imagination to get herself off. I was so turned on by that… and jealous, too!

ML and I talked about these things the other night, and we realized that yes, those were very intense times for our relationship. Things were new, fun, and exciting… dare I say, could it be that things have gotten… STALE?

Okay, it’s not THAT bad… sex with ML is still pretty fucking amazing. But yeah, things are less intense than they were.

After some more talking (communication, people, it works, hehe), we realized what has changed: we aren’t doing the “little lovey” things we used to do. Things like leave each other tiny love notes here and there, the “non-sexual” hugs and kisses (that eventually lead to sex, but weren’t intended for that), and other tiny gestures that feed the emotional connection of our marriage.

You see, My Lady has an interesting mental/physical connection – when she feels emotionally in tune with me, she gets really really horny… and unbelievably wet. Like, seriously, it’s like a flood in her panties. And it’s this connection that leads to those intense moments. So, we’ve decided to try to bring those feelings and those moments back… not just for more squirting and orgasms-on-demand, but because our marriage and our love truly flourishes when we focus on those things.

Of course, those other pussy-related results would be great perks, as well. 🙂

Vanilla, Kinky, Marriage, Kids – It’s a balancing act. As you know we recently started going to some munches and getting together with new friends in our kinky world, not to mention we bought a new house and our kids activities all week after school and on weekends. Life has felt much like a whirlwind and slightly like trying to balance spinning plates on poles – I’ll have to admit I’m not that great at balancing. In the one who troops and falls UP the stairs lol. I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of the little behind the scenes things that need to happen in life to make things go smoothly. 

It’s really awesome having friends and we love getting together with them and going to munches but for a bit there I really felt like so much of my time was looking for ways to get rid of the kids for the night so we could go to munches or other kinky events. I started to feel like I was missing and losing out on the family time with my husband and kids that is so very important while they are this age. It felt like every weekend we were constantly running and doing something or going somewhere. 

In the midst of kids and life and going out and getting involved in all these new fun things our kinky play together has gotten lost… again balance! It’s been extremely hard to find time for family time, kinky time, vanilla hubby/wife time, friend time… all of it. I get feelings of inadequacy when I can’t make time for it all, when I can’t find the necessary balance to fit it all in. I’m sure people have noticed that I’ve pulled back a bit, I’m not as active as I was, I’m not as chatty as I was. I’m still struggling to find what I need to make it all work and, right now, I’m trying to focus on my family, my kids, buying this house and all the little things that come along with that and getting back my kinky time with cagedmonkey. I miss it… I miss the intense tease and denial and the playtime we would have. I miss being crazy horny for each other all the time. There are things I miss that we would do more consistently. We keep trying to get in rope trial time and just the different things we enjoy about our kink. It just feels like it is constantly getting set aside because there is something else that needs to come first… Like sleep, work, kids, whatever.

Anyway, just letting you all in to where I am and how I’ve been feeling. I’m working to pull those things together and find that balance and I know I will I just feel like I suck at it right now and I’m letting every one down.