I’ve spent the last few days teasing, stroking, using and edging cagedmonkey’s achy cock. As you know I have told him that he won’t be cumming until we are in our new house!! Hehe

I’ve had a lot of fun having him unlocked, at night, the past few days. The night before last I think I stroked and edged him close to a hour. He went from wriggling around and moaning to pretty much passing out on me. It was actually such a great feeling that I was doing that to him. I was taking him to a place that he couldn’t escape from. Such an amazing amount of power to get someone to that point. At least that is how it feels to me. I really do love the power and control that I have over cagedmonkey sexually. It drives me, gives me passion and propose. 

I’m SO lucky to have him and that he enjoys the tease and denial and the level of intense control I have over his sexual bits! 

So, My Lady and I are buying a house.

Trust me, we are surprised as to how quickly it happened, too!

ML and I have been “window shopping” for houses for a little while, fantasizing about setting up our own little playroom in an extra bedroom. But we weren’t getting all that deep into it just yet. We were eyeing a house here and there, but there weren’t many that were all that interesting… and the ones that were kept getting sold before we could even go and see them!

And so it went until yesterday, when we lined up a few houses to go see with our real estate agent. The first two were nothing special, but the last one we saw had that “feeling” to it – I remember standing in the kitchen and thinking to myself, “Yeah, I could totally live here.” On the way back home, ML and I decided to put an offer in on the house.

ML called our agent when we got in the door; she had bad news – the sellers had gotten an offer that morning and had already sent out a counter offer! I mean, seriously… does everyone just automatically want what we want?

So, missed out again, right?

Oh no… not this time.

ML and I decided that we wanted this house. So we said, “screw that ‘counter offer’ noise, we’re buying this house.” We called the real estate agent back and told her to put in an offer – hey, if it ain’t sold yet, it ain’t sold!

We knew it was a race against time – if the other buyer accepted the counter offer, it didn’t matter if we offered the moon. We weren’t going to get into a bidding war, however – if they countered our offer, we were ready to walk away. So we put our offer in, and waited…

… we waited about five minutes before we got a call back.

Offer accepted!

That wasn’t the only deal that went down yesterday: during our celebratory sex, I really wanted to cum. So ML said she’d allow me to, but my next orgasm would have to be in our new house. Of course, I took the deal.

According to our signed offer, closing is in 60 days…

Last night, My Lady finally unlocked me after 30 days of 24/7 chastity. She also allowed me inside her pussy. She also allowed me to cum inside her.

What a relief!

I was a little bit nervous that, after a month of no erections, that it would be a little painful – in the past, I’ve been able to feel the skin on my cock stretching after such a long time without getting hard. It was only temporary, but it wasn’t very pleasant. But, thankfully, there was none of that this time around. The only problem was the issue of hairiness – I wasn’t able to shave everywhere with the cage on, so I have about a month of overgrowth down there. I didn’t get a chance to take care of it, because I was back in the cage this morning before leaving for work.

So, who knows… I may end up with another month of growth down there before I get a chance to shave… or more?

My Lady has already shared her experience of our first “dungeon party” – there’s not much more for me to add, considering I only participated for a few minutes at most. It was my first time being caned, though, which was pretty intense.

It was really fun being at the party; ML and I had a great time. I must admit, though, that at first I felt really out of place there. I don’t have a lot of experience with “impact play” and most of the people there were pretty well versed in the scene… at the very least, they knew the names of all the implements.

I was enjoying watching the scenes at the party, but I was also starting to have feelings of inadequacy – I felt that I wasn’t able to take as much punishment as I should. The fact that I was only able to hang in there for a few short moments while others stayed in scenes for twenty minutes or more fed into these fears even more.

This has always been a big problem of mine: comparing myself to others even when there is no need to, and feeling as though I don’t measure up. I end up worrying about unimportant things and psyching myself out. Because, when it comes down to it, does it really matter if someone else can take a spanking for longer that I can?

I finally decided to think positively about my experience: I tried something new, something that ML really enjoyed, and I did my best to serve her. I was proud of myself for what I was able to do.

Then I saw the pics of my ass… and I realized that I actually did take a good beating. 🙂

Even though it was a small amount of time, apparently it was really intense – that pic of my reddened ass was pretty impressive! And those marks are still hanging around days after ML used the cane on me. Hell, even just being able to say “My Lady caned me” is something to be proud of, in my opinion!

It ended up being a great experience: ML really enjoyed the lasting marks she made, and I was able to feel the lingering soreness in my ass… which helped me remember and actually turned me on. I’m actually excited to try it again, to see if I can push myself just a little bit farther… maybe give My Lady a chance to give me a few more “memories” to enjoy.

Wow! What an awesome weekend!! If you’d have asked me 5 years ago if I thought we would be doing what we’re doing right now I would have called you fucking crazy… actually even 3 years ago!! Cagedmonkey and I had a chance to get to our local munch again this past weekend and it was so much fun. We always love getting there to see friends and just laugh and enjoy some time with other people who we feel comfortable being ourselves with. We met this really great couple a month or so ago when we were still pretty new to going to the munch and they happen to have private dungeon. They’ve invited us over before but we just haven’t had a chance to make it. Well, on Saturday, they invited us and some other people from the munch over to their place for a kind of little after party. It really was just a continuation of the munch, except for the fact that there was a bit more going on than what could ever happen in a public restaurant! Hehe I know we mentioned some of this in our last podcast so you get the picture. I do want to say that even though people might think if you go to a private dungeon party or get invited over their house it’s going to be some kind of crazy sex party – it’s really not! I’m sure that may happen but I’m going to guess most of the time it’s just certain types of play. It was so much fun hanging out and some of the time I was kind of reminded of high school when you’d go hang out at in a friend’s basement sneaking beer!

Let me back up a bit though before I go on with the dungeon party. Earlier in the day grandma had come to get the kids for the night so cagedmonkey and I had the entire afternoon to spend time together. You know that meant we got in some good intense playtime. 🙂 I decided to take advantage of the time we had and I locked cagedmonkey in our steel doggy style Stockade. This time I actually used the locking collar attachment since I’d recently lined the collar with a thin layer of neoprene foam.

I really wanted him bound well and unable to move so I could try our a few of my paddles and things on him. He was so trusting and wonderful to take everything I had to give him. And trust me I gave it to him hard and non-stop for almost an hour. I used a few different paddles and the flogger and I also spent some time tickling him while he was locked up and immobile. It was so fun to watch him squirm! I took a picture in the beginning when his sexy butt was nice and red and you could just start to see the marks.

I was also giving his balls a little paddling as well, during it all. I do wish I would have gotten a picture at the end. I had decided to push him harder and in fact I decided to push him past harder to too hard. I wanted to trust that he would use his safeword and so I beat him extremely hard to see where it was that he would, in fact, ask me to stop. I really wanted to get him to his ultimate breaking point. My man took a hell of a lot of me that day… And then we ended up at the dungeon party where, well, he got beat more! At the end of our daytime session I did have to show him just how dripping wet my pussy was and have him clean it up afterwards.

The dungeon party was a ton of fun. There were about 6 couples there total but I to believe we were the only couple with a male submissive. It was all good and we got to see some others using the equipment and the different toys available and some even shared and gave us all a chance to spank their sub. That was fun! 🙂

When it was our turn, I had cagedmonkey get on the spanking bench so I could try out a few of their toys. They had floggers of many styles, paddles, whips, canes, you name it and I also brought my new wooden paddle that my friend got for me. Since I’d already worked hubby over earlier I was really just interested in trying a couple things. I was able to use a cane and then I ended his night with an extremely hard swat with my wooden paddle. 

I will say, they left some pretty spectacular marks on his ass… That stayed for days. I personally think they looked so incredibly awesome the next day…

The lines are from the cane and the big red mark there on his left cheek is from the paddle. I will say that even two days later those marks remained. It truly was a spectacular feeling letting that out and using those different things on him. It felt exhilarating! 

I told hubby next time I need to get him up on their cross… It’s a good thing we already got invited to the next party! 🙂

It has been more than three weeks since I’ve had a full, unimpeded erection. I can’t recall how long my previous “longest 24/7 locked” was, but I’ve either passed it already or it’s pretty close. No matter trying to figure it out, though… it’s pretty clear that I’ll be setting a new record by a pretty good margin.

ML’s period started this morning, which pretty much takes sex off the table for at least a week. Unless ML decides to take pity on me, I probably won’t be unlocked until February at the earliest.

ML and I have tried extended lockups in the past, but her desire to have my hard cock inside her usually limits us to around 3 weeks (give or take a few days). We have tried strategies to go farther than that, such as using toys for penetration needs or using her cycle to get a week head start… but nothing helped us pushed past that imaginary 3 week limit. This time around, the timing ended up being perfect: starting the extended lockup with the new year ended up synching that time of peak need with her cycle perfectly. I don’t think we could have planned it better if we tried.

So it’s basically a given now that I will go at least the first month of 2017 without an erection (I’m setting a precedent for starting off the year being denied – orgasms last year, and now boners this year). The question is this: how will ML feel once her period is finished? Will her desire for penetration return quickly, or will it be another 3 weeks until the need is strong enough for her to remove my cage?

Assuming that My Lady doesn’t get the urge to unlock me later tonight (and there’s no reason to think that she will), tomorrow will make it 3 full weeks into 2017… three full weeks that I have been locked in the Jailbird, day and night. Three full weeks of my cock throbbing and struggling inside the bars of my chastity cage. Three full weeks of troubled sleep thanks to unattainable nighttime erections.

Three full weeks of nothing anywhere near this.

Three full weeks of realizing that I look pretty damn sexy with my cock locked in chastity.

The “longest lockup” benchmark for me is quickly approaching, and this time around it seems as though ML is perfectly content to let it continue. I, of course, am getting really desperate… but there is a not-so-small part of me that actually enjoys the idea of being driven even further insane by my need for a simple erection. In fact, I can’t deny or ignore the fact that my cock slowly fills my cage whenever I think about it.

Now, there is NO way I’d be able to handle being locked up over a span of multiple months. I really do need the freedom of getting hard and fucking ML (at least occasionally), and I know ML feels the same. I was actually surprised this time around that we’ve gone so long – two days ago was the first time ML and I didn’t have penetrative sex on our anniversary. As horrible as that sounds, though, it didn’t feel out of the ordinary at all.

This is who we are now. This is our love; this is our marriage – my wife keeps my cock locked in a steel chastity cage for as long as she wants, uses my cock for her pleasure, and teases and denies me orgasms until she wants me to experience that pleasure. It’s amazing, and it couldn’t be any more perfect for either of us. I need this, and My Lady needs it just as much. 

That doesn’t make waiting weeks for a full erection any easier, though.

I talk with a lot of submissive guys and girls, and they contact to me for a variety of reasons. I enjoy each and every one of them, but if I’m being completely honest, some of the submissives I talk with could easily be tagged with the description “strong-willed.” I know these subs can be difficult to Dom/me at times. I secretly enjoy, just a little bit, the determination these subs have. Yes, they can be stubborn and difficult, and they will state their cases whenever they can, but they certainly have passion. Strong-willed submissives can be exhausting, that’s for sure. But they also tend to grow into very obedient people with the right direction. When they learn to channel that determination, they take healthy risks — they learn to work through failure and keep trying. There’s a lot to love about strong willed submissives, us Dominants just need to learn how to survive them.

I thought I would take a few minutes to talk about some things that may be helpful for a Dom/me when they find they have themselves a strong-willed submissive!

Strong-willed subs are known for their power struggles. If they find an opening, they pounce. Routines and rules provide a great foundation (they take some of the guesswork out of the day), but they can be particularly helpful for strong-willed submissives. Try not to go nuts and overwhelm them with hundreds of rules and expectations. You can’t avoid every possible power struggle along the way, but a list of rules and expectations can help avoid some of the daily power struggles that wear on your nerves.

Strong-willed subs are often doers by default. If it seems like your submissive is always learning the hard way, that’s because he/she probably learns best by trial and error. Strong-willed subs have big ideas, and they may prefer to test their ideas or try telling you about them – this may seem like topping from the bottom but it can be done correctly using communication. If your sub follows the rules (ie: you must tell me any and all fantasies without assumption that they will be fulfilled), is there really any harm in letting them tell you about their fantasies? I find that many power struggles emerge between strong-willed subs and their partners because the subs have very strong opinions, and they tend to stick to them. You do have to set realistic rules and expectations, and you do have to follow through on those.

It’s extremely important to listen carefully.
Given that tenacious submissives tend to have a lot of very strong opinions and prefer to share those opinions often, Dom/mes can start ignoring them at times. It can be exhausting, and sometimes you just don’t want to debate why your rules are your rules. It’s important to listen. Sharing their ideas and opinions is how strong-willed subs work through things. If they appear stubborn at times, it’s because they have strong beliefs and integrity. They want to share that with you. Listen to your submissive and empathize. Help them channel that stubbornness into a positive. So your sub really wants to be dressed in certain types of clothing? Teach them how to research the pros and cons and engage in a healthy give-and-take on the matter instead of simply stating their need over and over again. No one likes whining and nagging. They might not get to wear those frilly pink panties, because it’s not something you are into, but at least they will feel heard and learn some important communication skills in the process. This is also an opportunity for a Dominant partner to compromise and even if you aren’t into a specific kink they are maybe you can negotiate a way to help fulfill that desire for them. Perhaps you don’t like them wearing feminine clothing but know they would like to try it… so you require them to wear them under their clothing whenever they are not around you. It’s a great reminder of who is in control… taps into their kink and doesn’t bother you in the least! 🙂

One of the things I find we need to ask ourselves is:
Are you being an intentional Dominant?
I like to think of being a Dominant in three ways:

Automatic: the stuff you do constantly and without thinking, like letting them know you are thinking about them, teasing them mentally and sexually, making sure they have and are following rules, praising behavior, etc.

Reactive: providing discipline and correcting behavior, giving after-care, fulfilling fantasies

Proactive: the stuff you really think about and plan ahead for, like an intense bondage, pegging or spanking scene.

Now ask yourself and be honest: How much time do you spend a week on proactive stuff — like really thinking about what it is you want your submissive to experience, and then putting together a plan to make it happen? That’s the first step to becoming a more intentional Dom/me.

The next thing to think about is focus. How often are we giving our subs our full and undivided attention? Do we listen to their fantasies with our whole heart? Do we set aside specific times each day to be fully and intentionally present?

When cagedmonkey and I really got into this whole lifestyle and living it everyday, we didn’t have anyone else to really talk to about it, especially not in real life! We had met some good people on Chastity Forums and started reading, commenting and even communicating with some other bloggers. It was so nice to be able to talk about all this stuff with other people. However, hiding behind our blog and them behind theirs or a computer screen left us feeling only half fulfilled. We really wanted to find real life friends to talk to about all this stuff and more. I mean how many friends can you say know the real you, the whole you? Probably not too many! Are you “good friends” with people who don’t even know your real name, out of fear they could out you to other friends or family?

Well in our latest podcast we wanted to talk about how we stepped out of our comfort zone and got out from hiding behind the computer to find some real flesh and blood people to talk to and become friends with. We talk about how it felt going to our first munch and meeting new friends in other situations.

Hope you enjoy listening! As always you can listen here:

Or download our podcast on Soundcloud!
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I did want to make sure I mentioned a few ways to find local get togethers in your area. Of course you could join FetLife  and look for events that are posted there, local groups and search for friends. It’s been a really great resource for us but do please be aware that it is a sort of social media platform and sometimes you will find some not so good people floating around!

Another place I recently found but don’t know too much about (I tried to get an interview with the owner) is FindaMunch it seems like a very nice site with lots of locations. I’d assume, if you host a regular local munch you could get yours listed on that site too!

***Bonus: We have a new lovely voice on our podcast – not only do we get our music from bensounds.com we now have a wonderful sexy friend who has recorded our intro audio! Thank you Mistress “Blue Rose.”

With a new year comes new year’s resolutions… although I really don’t believe in the concept. Why do you have to wait until the next year to make a change in your life? Why not start now? What good is waiting for an arbitrary date to pass to start improving yourself?

What was I talking about?

Ok, so anyways…

Independent of New Years, I have decided to eat a little better and try to get myself in shape. After all, I am getting older; if there is a time to get in shape, it’s now. ML is helping me with a meal plan and an exercise routine, as well. There is one part of me, however, that has gotten out of shape and diet or gym workout will help me with.

Simply put, my cum muscles have gotten weak.

Contrary to how it may seem, ML likes to see me cum – you’d think that a woman who keeps her husband in chastity and controls his orgasms wouldn’t be all that concerned with it, but she really does like it. She likes to pump it out of me, knowing that she got me so horny and so turned on for it to happen. I, of course, like it as well – because it happens so infrequently, the sight of my cock squirting cum all over ML’s boobs/ass/wherever she allows me to is a beautiful thing.

Unfortunately, since we have begun our chastity and orgasm denial lifestyle, the force of my orgasms have gradually declined. What was once a forceful spurt has slowly weakened over time to just a tiny dribble. My orgasms themselves are still intense; sometimes as intense as ever, depending on the teasing and/or lead-up to it. It’s just the physical reaction that has subsided.

At first, I was worried that it was a volume problem, but I don’t think that’s the case. Drinking lots and lots of water does help, but I’ve found that there isn’t an actual decrease in volume; after my orgasm, there is plenty of cum that drips out of my cock (or that ML squeezes out with her talented fingers). The cum is there, I’m just not strong enough to shoot it out.

Although I could go ahead and use the “well, my cock is so damn huge that it’s too far for the cum to travel” excuse, I’d rather be realistic and see the problem for what it is: my cum muscles have weakened with orgasm denial. To be honest, this isn’t all that surprising; you may remember recently that I went over 3/4 of a year without using those muscles. Imagine if you sat in a wheelchair for 9 months, then you tried to go out and run the 100 meter dash… that’s kind of the situation I’m up against.

So, the solution is strength reconditoning. There are no cum muscle rehab programs that I am aware of, and as much as I would like ML to put me on an “orgasm exercise regimen,” I would seriously miss the teasing and orgasm denial. What I need is a plan that works for us. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
1) PC muscle exercises when locked (or unlocked). For the unsciencey readers out there, the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles are the muscles that make you ejaculate (sort of… please don’t flood the comments section with Wikipedia proving I’m wrong, I’m going for simplicity here). You squeeze these muscles when you act as if you are trying to stop yourself from peeing (again, simplicity). These are the muscles that have gotten weak for me. I have been doing these exercises, but not regularly enough to make an impact.

2) More frequent edging and/or ruined orgasms when unlocked. I can’t believe I’m actually asking for this, but it’s true: although PC muscles are a good exercise, the most effective one would probably be frequent regular orgasms. That’s most likely not happening any time soon, so I’m guessing the next best thing would be more edges or ruined orgasms. The muscles aren’t utilized as they would be in a full-on cum, but it’s better than nothing.

I really would like to improve this situation. It would be pretty interesting for ML to tease me during long denial periods with videos of my own cock shooting cum all over her gorgeous titties. I have a lot of work to do to get there, but it’s an excellent goal to visualize. 🙂